Originally posted by: rock&roll
Hi Doc,
Will try to answer your questions to the best of my ability
1) Do you think, he will still be so mad in love that he would forget everything and run after Naina again?
Nice questions by the way, just adding my views on this ~
Sameer might be in Love but his Ego/Self image his preventing him to take a Further Step towards Naina. I don't know why he feels that Naina doesn't Love him??!! He knows very well about Naina's Family Situations and he said he will find a way out. In times of Crises, if he doesn't support Naina, then who will support Naina? And, on top of it, I feel he is insecure / scared / doesn't Trust Naina because had he really trusted her, he wouldn't have let her go completely. He knows what situations Naina is placed in, how her Family is, how Naina's Father is & how she respects Her Father and Family,then why doesn't Sameer understand in what Situation Naina is placed in? Why doesn't he try to fill in the void of her Pain? she wants to marry him but doesn't want to Disappoint her Family as well because she knows the IMPORTANCE of her Family Values and her Father's Upbringing. Why can't he for a second see what emotional pain she is going through?? For example, Sameer should see through his Mom, Vishakha. If he can understand why his Mom got remarried after her 1st husband's death inspite of having a child when it wasn't completely necessary for her to get remarried, so IF sameer understands this common logic as to what Women Feel, then he will be able to Understand that Naina's Love is No way COMPARABLE TO HIS MOM as unlike Vishakha who is SELFISH, NAINA's LOVE IS PURE, True and Genuine. It was all due to Circumstances and Situations that Naina is placed in because of Sameer. SAMEER WAS THE ONE WHO GAVE IDEA TO TAIJI TO GET NAINA MARRIED IN THE FIRST PLACE. IF IT WASN'T A DUMB ACT, THEN WHAT ACT IS THIS? Don't tell me Sameer did this Dumb act for Love towards Naina when he has put her in a Terrible Situation. I feel it is Sameer who is Self-Centered and Selfish in this Relationship as he always wants to get it his way while he is missing out on WHY IT REALLY HAPPENED THE WAY IT HAD TO WHEN EVERYTHING WAS GOING FINE BETWEEN HIM? He also needs to get this straight in his mind about the Family environments ~
1. Maheshwari's Family are more liberal as they are rich
2. Naina's Family is a bit conservative and economical, so this played a huge role in 90s and even nowadays. Naina's Family is not as Open minded.
I will answer this from two people's pov
a)How would Sam be likely to react ?
b)How people in real life might react?
a) Looking at Sam till Thursday's eppy,I would have said that Sam would run back to Naina like a puppy at her first call.He was supposedly in babaji mode,but it was obvious that he was not over Naina even an iota.It showed in his expectant eyes and in the way he jumped eagerly when she called.This means that though Naina had told her explicitly that between her family and him,Sameer stood nowhere for her,the message hadn't hit home and he was expecting things to turn alright.
But the same cannot be said of the Sameer yesterday.When he actually saw her in a saree,ready to get married to someone else,the truth actually hit home for him.His self respect hurt and he felt wronged and humiliated.It must have shocked him that Naina could move on so fast and so easily.And that is why,he proposed to Sunaina.To show Naina that he could move on faster than her.His proposing to Sunaina is a very good thing.Though it is done partly to make Naina jealous,it is also the first step towards moving on.
So,to answer your question,based on his current state of mind,if Naina asks him for forgiveness,he is not going to forgive her so easily.And he is certainly not going to go running back to Naina.They say that the first time we fall in love is so beautiful because this is the time the heart gives fuly and unconditionally.There is no fear of the downside,only love prevails.Once the heart has been jilted and has experienced hurt,it will tread very carefully.This is what will happen to Sameer now.So even if his Naina herself begs him to come back,he will tread with a lot of caution.He has a lot of bitterness in his heart towards her and can''t go back to her so easily.
In real life,I believe that almost no guy would be willing to go back to a girl after she ditches him and sits on the altar for marriage with someone else(and the marriage breaks).No person should go back to such a girl too.She isn't worth it..But having said that,I would like to add a point.No offense meant,but I do believe that women are way stronger than men mentally.Consequently,if a man/boy was ditched the way Sam has been in real life,I wouldn't be surprised if he tries suicide or goes into depression for life.Suicide is actually more likely.Secondly,in real life if the "Naina" of his life comes running back to him(after all these events) and gives a sob story and "damsel in distress" story,the Sameers in real life might actually forgive them willingly and take them back happily.I have seen many boys being so emotionally dependent on the people they love.However,if the same has happened to a girl and her Sameer had ditched her and tried to marry someone else,I think 4 out of 5 girls wouldn't take him back.They would also move on much sooner and much more easily.
This is strictly my pov,Doc,I mean no offense to boys and certainly no offense to you at all.I hold you in the highest regard and I am sorry if I touched on anything personal.
Your second question:
2) Wouldn't Sameer lose the immense trust he had and develop a pragmatic way of looking at Naina ?
In True Love, Trust is VITAL & it cannot be lost as such. It can be rebuilt if two are willing to really make a Commitment without making any mistakes. It revolves around being Loyal, Understanding and Loving each other. When you know you are committing a mistake, People should not do anything knowingly as it will hurt other person's partner. Unknowingly if they do, another chance can be given. But, if someone does something meanly while being in a relationship, then that is something you have to reconsider/rethink about.
He would definitely lose the immense trust he had in her.But I am not sure whether he would have been become completely pragmatic.Sameer is inherently emotional,so he would fall for Naina's emotions again.But this time it will take tremendous effort.I think more than pragmatism,it his his bitterness for Naina,his wounded self respect and shattered trust that would prevent him from returning.In other words,he will not want to return for fear of being hurt again and because she destroyed his self worth.But seeing Sameer,I doubt he would ever become pragmatic towards Naina. Deep in his heart,he will always nurse a soft corner for her.
Sameer needs to wake up and see what is what clearly and how to solve the situation. There is a lot of difference between what Naina did and what Sameer did. Sameer did to Hurt Naina wantedly in front of her, and Naina did not do anything wantedly instead because she wanted to protect Sameer & she did not want Sameer to get hurt in any ways.
In real life too,I believe that most boys and girls will not return because of the above reasons.(bitterness/hatred,wounded self worth and broken trust).Only some turn pragmatic.To turn pragmatic,I believe one has to forgive and really let go of the relationship from within.A person has to genuinely believe that the other person concerned had some compulsions which made them act the way they did.They have to forgive the person's actions..Once this happens ,they really and truly let go of the person.Then their concern for the person will not be any higher or lower than it is for others.Which means that they neither harbour hatred/bitterness/revenge nor fondness/love for the other person.They neither rejoice/despair at their happiness/sadness.This truly sets them free.I believe that if a person truly adopts a pragmatic approach to the relationship,they are over the relationship.Then there is no going back.But many people say they are pragmatic,but actually continue harbouring hidden feelings.Just my pov.
In Real Life, Guys like Sameer listen to their FOOLISH FRIENDS SUGGESTIONS/ADVICES & FALL INTO A DIRTY TRAP. So, Guys like Sameer should stop Listening to their Foolish Friends Advices and instead listen to their OWN HEART.
3) And, Naina, How would she react ? She will escape the marriage and in few days will start expecting Sameer to forget all the pain she gave and be friends again (eventually claiming her love)
Same thing applies for BOTH. In Reality, Sameer did mistakes, but Naina is still forgiving him for what all mistakes he did because she Loves him. That's why Naina's Character is MUCH MORE STRONGER THAN Sameer's Character.
Naina is capable of reacting anyway.I am seriously thoroughly disappointed with her by now.The way she reacted yesterday when Sam proposed to Sunaina was disgusting,to say the least.Her dialogue"Main use aisa karne nahin dungi.Woh meri saza Sunaina ko kyon de raha hai?Sunaina ki sach pata chalega to use kaisa lagega?" was more than I could take.
I felt like asking her "Tumne apni galti ki saza Sameer ko de diya and you expect him to move on without complaint.Par jab tumhari galti ki saza Sunaina ko mil raha hai,to Sunaina pe bada taras aa raha hai???Why didn't the same feelings apply to Sameer?How are they applying to Sunaina whom you hardly know?".Naina's feelings were clear yesterday.She doesn't want Sam in her life because she can't muster the courage to marry him.But she doesn't want him to get over her!!!!.She wants him run behind her,pine for her,beg her to come back while she continues saying that she wants him to move on.Please note:In reality she doesn't want him to move on.She only wants to ask him to move on verbally while fully expecting that he will run behind her eternally.This is selfishness and apathy at its peak.I am speechless and disgusted.
Then, what happened to Sameer's Gnyaan & Babaji Ka Sanyaas etc? Atleast, he would have prospered if he had gone to Pune as he would have understood Real Value of a Person. He is hurting everyone, his Mammas, his Family etc. Yes, Naina cannot leave Sameer because She loves him truly, verbally she is saying to protect him from all insults but internally, she wants him MORE THAN he wants her. It's not Selfishness but her PURE LOVE towards Sameer and her Family.
So to answer your question,how will Naina react?Naina is an opportunist and very selfish.She is capable of anything.If things suit her,she will start "Mission Sameer Manao" and go full on at it.If it doesn't suit her,she will start "Mission Sameer chodo"(as she is doing now) and will go full on with it.Either ways,she won't let him move on so easily.She can expect ANYTHING from Sameer again,starting from separation to unconditional friendship to love and unfortunately,Sameer will give it to her.And she knows this.Bi
Then, why is it that Sameer goes on saying "I Love you" to Sunaina in classes etc & keeps on flirting & again later on goes to Naina & says "Naina, I love you & I can't live without you". When he is doing all this hungama, why does he blame Naina again in the end? Childish Immature Mentalities and Double Minded/Confused Brains.
Would like to add one more point here about human nature here(not really relevant to your question).I have seen this Naina like kind of behaviour in many people.They get trampled over,taken advantage of and give in without protest in the presence of certain people(who they may be scared of or who they perceive to be more powerful) .Eg,Naina with Taiji .The same person then takes complete advantage of certain other people whom they perceive to be weaker than them or more dependent on them.Eg)Naina with Sameer.This shows that that the person concerned(Naina for instance),is a complete opportunist.Such people do not have much empathy for others and do not deserve much sympathy when taken advantage of.If roles were reversed and they become powerful,they will have little concern for anyone's emotions.
How can Sameer Judge that Naina doesn't have Empathy for others? She could be hiding her emotions & she is a Smart / Educated Girl who tries to pacify others according to Situations because she doesn't want to hurt her Family Members nor hurt her Sameer. She is balancing between both and SHE IS NOT LIKE TAIJI NOR LIKE VISHAKHA. If we reverse roles between Guys and Girls, Boys are Opportunists who take Girls Help, Don't Give Credit and they show as if they are very Efficient & Capable, which they are not. An Educated/Studious Topper like Naina giving Sameer a chance is a Blessing, HE SHOULD NOT OVERLOOK THIS POINT & HE HAS TO UNDERSTAND THAT NANAJI PRAISED NAINA FOR HER GOOD NATURE AND QUALITIES [When Nanaji fell on the Road, it was Naina who took him to Hospital and saved him].
This is actually a very common human trait.If we look around us,we will see many people behave like this.Eg,the dil who is exploited by her mil but who takes advantage of her husband.The man who is exploited by his boss but who exploits his wife...Such people are inherently selfish and opportunists and have little empathy for people in a weaker position than themselves.Sorry for digressing,but had to say this😳
A Girl like REAL NAINA will not exploit anybody. If others exploit Naina, it is their Bad Luck & they will get screwed up in the end.
4)As you stated how you think the marriage will be halted, so would be nice to know how you feel the dynamics will process after that ?
Tough to say,but we know that the leads eventually get married.So Sameer will eventually give in.But it won't be easy and Naina is the one who has to go abegging.
In real life,I believe that most of such relationships would break after reaching such a stage.The only way they might still go ahead is if the girl comes back to the boy with a sob story and the boy is way way too emotional by nature (and still harbours feelings for her) .
Sameer should talk with his Elders be it his Mom etc. & should go to Naina's House and Ask for Naina's Hand. As simple as it is, No Need to Dramatize anything more. If Naina & Sameer's Love is true, they will understand , talk over such that it can get solved without any further disturbances coming between them.
Thanks for your interesting questions doc.Thoroughly enjoyed answering them.Do let me know your own perspectives and thoughts to the same questions😊
