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Ishita has been here before. Subbu left her, married someone else, and had a child.
She had been here. Last time it was with someone she loved. But that love wasn't like this love. The love that consumes her is Raman. But unlike a lot of people, I really don't think she is playing martyr. I really don't.
Rather, I think she is so accustomed to being in pain now, she's become numb to it. The only times we have really seen her emotions spill over are in Raman's proximity. The dance was breath taking because they were lost in each other. When she sees him drunk and broken, she breaks too. And we see a glimmer of hope in her in the dream she has of Raman welcoming her with open arms. That, along with when she realises the boy at the police station is Adi, and that night are the only times we really see the pain.
Because if Ishita was a good actress before, these seven years have made her perfect her craft. And it certainly helps that she now feels numb. I think she is so used to feeling rejected, that whilst Raman in his desperate attempts to hurt her is really hitting below the belt, there is a reason doesn't react. He has killed her before, and now she is simply used to it.
So she is where they begun their story. The man she loves s moving on in front of her eyes. She is numb, and he is being driven to insanity because she remains stoic.
Raman is desperate to illicit a reaction, and he is failing to understand that it is hurting her, but this has become a constant for her. It's like Shagun. She gets so used to feeling insecure about shaguniya, because she constantly loiters around. I don't think she was ever able to shake that insecurity, and simply accepted it. And today, with Raman attempting to make her burn in hell with him, he can't understand she has been there for years already.
Ishita doesn't fight Raman back furthermore, because if he is sadistic, so is she. She thinks she deserves this grief. She was supposed to be dead for her inability to save Ruhi. And because she isn't it's like she welcomes his insults. Ruhi and Raman were her everything, and now she thinks she deserves this pain.
I also think the fact that she thinks she no longer has a right on him plays into things here. She has been where she thinks Shagun is now. And she won't hurt another woman the way she had been hurt. To play into Raman's antics and exert rage and fight like cats and dogs is part and parcel of how they became everything to each other. How they started their married life and fell in love. If Ishita plays into that again, she will fall in love with him again and again and that would be agonising for her, knowing that Raman has promised another woman now.
So I don't think Ishita is a martyr. I think pain is constant for her. And tears can't flow every second of every day. I think she is in so much pain she's exhausted. Let's face it, how can a dead person really fight themselves. And for all intents and purposes, Ishita is dead.
Now, from today's episode, she may start to resurrect herself for Raman's sake. To rectify her mistakes. At least Ishita is being accountable for her wrongs. But oh goodness I feel a heartbreaking sadness for her. My heart really does go out to her. She is so hurt, so used to pain, it's part of her now, and she can't feel anything else right now.
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