Posted:
I had come across these 'rumours' of Raman proposing to Shaggy for marriage, and of course, I had brushed it off as some attention-seeking prat's pathetic sense of humour. Today's episode was a sort of volte-face to me.
I am so pained right now.š
What have the CVs done to our favorite show only for the sake of retaining/appeasing ONE useless character that actually has no role to play in the show anymore?
Let's first take Raman's POV:
He is visibly upset with his wife, understandably so, since he feels betrayed by her deliberate absence from their lives without so much as a conscientious message that she is alive, but she doesn't want to come back and ruin their lives. To top it, she is constantly seen with Mani, he KNOWS she was living with Mani...and in his eyes, she was 'aish karoing' with that cheapskate while he and his family were bawling their eyes out every single day of these past 7 years.
Of course any spouse in his situation would be angry, and since its Raman, whose anger literally dances at the tip of his nose, he is not just plain angry, rather, he is INFURIATED. Feels betrayed as hell. But then, how did he forget that it was his words that actually drove Ishita away, whether or not she was lying about being alive/dead was a matter that came before him much, much later. I understand the anger part, but then he could, just for the sake of answers, for the sake of his daughter, at least asked Ishita why she did not return home all these years. That, IMO would have been the most logical thing to do.
Raman, as usual, lets his anger overpower him, and the end result was - he was going to do everything possible to hurt Ishita, even if it meant he had to marry Shagun, that foxy ex-wife of his who thought nothing of leaving behind her infant baby and psychologically damaging her own son and putting her ex-husband down at every possible opportunity. I am not saying Ishita did right by not trying to meet/talk to Pihu all these years, or letting the Bhallas and Iyers stew in guilt and regret, letting them think she was dead.
That was very, very wrong too. But then, consider this - the person you love the most in the world squarely blames you for whatever happened to their daughter, calling you names, addressing you as a bad omen, shredding your dignity and self-respect to bits by saying you dont deserve to be a mother, you are useless, and what not, and that they would never want to see your face again ...then what do you do?
Personally, I have seen and I know such people who are madly in love with their spouses and cruel words the kind that Raman spoke can literally drive them to suicide and whatnot. So yes, when the spouse says such mean, hurtful things (even if a shred of it is true) it just hits at the very core of them and they lose all confidence, even the will to live. So couple it with the tragedy like the one IshRa faced (Ruhi's death), then one of them was bound to give in.
It is important to note here that the night all this Nidhi-Ruhi fiasco happened, it was Raman who planted the idea of the kid swap first...Ishita kept vehemently denying it...but then Raman said he would take care of everything so no need to worry...
In such a situation, any sane person would want to have police backup, Ishita did what she thought was right. I really want to know, how would ACP not landing at the scene have helped? Would Nidhi have showered kindness and released Ruhi in favour of Pihu? These are tall claims that Raman assumes he may have stood up to, but the reality is, Nidhi was and is a serpent who had every trick ready up her sleeve. She was not going to let Raman win.
Now let's come to Ishita's POV:
It is no secret why she never returned to Bhalla House. Raman's harsh words cut through her like a burning hot knife, and considering that Ruhi had just 'died' she found it totally justified - all the blame coming her way, her relationship with Raman breaking, and the very reason of her life force going away in a cruel shot of fate.
Plus, Mani almost killed himself trying to save her, so what was she supposed to do? Leave him to die? She did right by him, taking care of him and his niece, his business, till everything got settled. The one big blunder she committed was not informing her family/Raman that she was indeed, alive...she could've explained the situation she found herself in..and maybe wishing them luck, faded away slowly from their lives.
But the deal is - for a woman who has always felt inferior at her deepest core, because she couldn't be a mother, and next, that she was never really any man's first choice to begin with (this was apparent in the prelude to the consummation scene as well where she lamented the fact that Raman never 'saw' her that way, that he never saw her as a woman in the true sense of the word)...to hear the harshest possible words from her husband, her best friend, the love of her life and the only one she trusted to be herself around, totally broke her apart.
She became empty, hollow from the inside. And so, she chose to believe his words and let him be happy without her, than trouble him with her presence in his life.
Of the two, Ishita is definitely the stronger one - Raman totally wears his heart on his sleeve. Whatever he says at any given moment, is exactly what he feels. But Ishita, would prefer to keep the deepest of her feelings to herself, and not even show Raman, at times, what she really meant and wanted to say...
Today was one such situation - she was hurt and shocked to see Raman proposing to Shagun, right before her eyes, of course to hurt her, she knew that, but that didn't stop from the pain percolating right down to her veins. With every word Raman spoke today, and every look of hate he passed her way, her heart cried like it just got pierced by shards of glass. Raman's act had the intended effect. Just the way Raman wanted it to be.
In that one moment, her world crashed around her again. And this time, the pain was more excruciating. Yet again, she was reminded of her exact worth - and what she was not capable of...of how even that snake Shagun was better than her...
And yet, she was not going to let it show. She was helpless, she blamed herself deep down for whatever was happening, and yet gave politically correct assurances to her shattered heart - that yes, it was absolutely right that Raman should want to marry Shagun. In fact, why hadn't he done that earlier? She has sacrificed so much for his family, she deserves that respect, that position in his life.
It was the voice of a woman who had resigned to her fate. It was the voice of a woman who knew she only had herself to blame, and no one else, and of course, she couldn't expect any better. She did not blame anybody for it.Deep down, that feeling of did-I-ever-deserve-better-than-this lingers, and it tugs at her heart. But no, she was not going to challenge Raman, fight it out with him, try to put him down, demand her position back in his life or whatever. In her mind, she had lost the right to do so. She was going to let him be happy, if that is the way he chose.
That, to me, is the mark of strength, and a clear indicator of how men and women are so so different.
I was extremely annoyed with the entire Bhalla/Iyer clan seeking Ishita to solve all their problems, like she was some magic fairy. I was also damn pissed with her when a couple episodes earlier she made it seem like she was this indispensable part of both the families and that they really 'needed' her...it annoyed me no end. But its amazing how she chooses to do what she has come to her parents' house for, right things, so to speak (no matter how cheesy that sounds to us as an audience)...something Raman would never have been able to do.
There's this other show on &TV I have been watching from over 3 months now (on and off) and there the male character is almost like Raman's twin brother with a diff face and a diff name...they are similar in the sense that they are impulsive and rash and act first and think later. And so it happened, that in a fit of fury he marries his ex-girlfriend and semi-fiance simply to spite his current one (Gangaa), because he wanted to take revenge. She kept telling him of the consequences of this rash decision, but he went ahead anyway and married the other female.
Gangaa, the lead actress, bawled her eyes out for exactly one day and then said to herself - enough is enough, I'm done with this shit, if he has gone off and married that chipmunk, its not my fault, not my loss, so I'm going to live my life on my own terms now. And she does exactly what pleases her. Sure she still loved the ML deep down in her heart, but she did everything to ensure the ML knew he was a married man now and they had nothing between no...no pyaar...no bandhan whatsoever. She was definitely not begging him to come back, or making mooney eyes at him.
She did her best to move on, he had only married someone on paper to 'move on'...turns out he was bleeding his eyes out every second day of the marriage, ruing the blunder he committed in a fit of rage, wanting to come back to her...but she shut the doors on him, saying, its over. What's done is done. Nothing can be changed. She had begged him, pleaded with him, but he had chosen to do his bidding.
My point is - Raman reminded me of the ML from that show when he proposed marriage to Shagun today. He was only doing this to hurt Ishita, wasn't he? How long before he realizes he has and is going to hurt himself more by this sheer tomfoolery? That is the day the walls around him would break and even if he tried to mend the cracks, he wouldn't be able to.
I dont know why, but its a common thing I have seen in most women, even in some men who have this feminine trait of endurance. This is typical of women but some men do possess this trait (very rare, though)...I may sound like a weirdo, but yes, I have astrological leanings and believe water and earth signs have powerful endurance. Earth, and the sign of Cancer, especially, have maternal instincts...they are vulnerable, nurturing, sensitive, can endure a lot, they can absorb a lot, but the day they reach a breaking point, all hell breaks loose.
Is that why mothers are so starkly feminine and enduring, irrespective of which culture/community/religion/location/social order they belong to? I suddenly have a new found respect for women all around...I'm not saying we are above men, but somehow God has made us in a way diff than men, where we seem to have the ability to hold them.
I have no idea why I have ranted off this long today, oh...I just had to.
If Raman truly is going to marry Shagun, then he may not be able to elicit the kind of response he wants to from Ishita, at least now where he can physically see it. Will this irony then break him further at a point he realizes he has ruined things further?
Also, I hope he doesn't push Ishita to a point she doesn't want him back again...yesterday he made a snarky comment that he should've left her to die, and those dirty looks...this can kill anybody man...I mean, there's only so much a human being can take...then what? Even if things between them get alright, he needs to introspect on his behavior and tone it down...he cannot expect this woman waiting on him hand and foot all her life even when he treats her like garbageš”
For now, hats off to Ishita for being the picture of dignity and grace she is right now.ššš It takes great courage to be vulnerable and yet not beg for someone to love you, even when you're falling apart inside. This is something the makers have maintained throughout. DT's eyes, expressions, what a FAB FAB ACTORš
Too long a rant today...sorry guys...do put in your thoughts below...
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