Thodi Si Bewafai #2 Part 26 on Page 110 - Page 17

Stop it Ishita, his words echoed in her ears again and again as she sat on the floor scared.

There was hurt, pain, disappointment and more than everything shock. She just could not understand what she did to earn this and that was haunting her mind.

Main bahaar jaa raha hoon...kal dopahar tak aa jaunga, he spoke as he came out from the bathroom after having a shower, a cold one probably.

(I am going out...will be back by noon tomorrow, he spoke as he came out from the bathroom after having a shower, a cold one probably.)

Par Raman aap kahaan jaa rahe ho, she went after him as he left the room.

(But Raman where are you going, she went after him as he left the room.)

Tumse kaha na kal dopahar tak aa jaunga toh aa jaunga...tumhare liye hall mein kuch choda hai...mann ho toh dekh lena...take care, he left leaving her in a shattered state.

(I told you I will be back by the noon so I will come...i have left something for you in the hall...you can see if you feel like...take care, he left leaving her in a shattered state.)

Aap toh kal dopahar tak aa jaayenge par mera toota hua bharosa kahaan se laayenge...kal raat bhi main isi haalat mein thi...din mein aapne kuch sukoon diya...ab jab us sukoon ki aadat si hone lagi thi toh din dhalne ke saath woh sukoon bhi dhal gaya...kal bhi yahi samaa tha aaj bhi yahi hai...kal bhi main aise hi akeli padi ro rahi thi aaj bhi aise hi ro rahi hoon, she broke down right there at the door.

(You will come back tomorrow but from where you will bring back my broken trust...I was in the same state last night as well...you soothed my pain in the day...now that I was getting used to that pleasure, the pleasure too set down with the sunset...it was just the same yesterday and today it is again the same...yesterday too I was crying like this alone and today again I am the same, she broke down right there at the door.)

Hazaar Raahen Mudke Dekhi

Kahin Se Koi Sadaa Na Aayi

(I looked upto so many options but nothing got me an inch of relief)

Main kuch bhi acha karne jaati hoon bura hi ho jaata hai Raman...pata nahi kisi bhi meri koshish ke badle mujhe kaamyaabi ki jagah sazaa hi kyun mil jaati hai...aakhir maine aisi kounsi bewafai ki hai aapse Raman jise aap itni wafaa se nibha rahe hain, she cried inconsolably.

(How much ever I try to do good things it always turns into bad Raman...i don't know why none of my trials bring me success instead of punishment...what infidelity have I done which you are handling with so much fidelity, she cried inconsolably.)

Badi Wafaa Se Nibhayi Tumne

Humari Thodi Si Bewafai

(You have nurtured my disloyalty with so much loyalty)

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I am sorry Ishita...jaanta hoon is time tum ghar ke kisi kone mein padi hui ro rahi hongi...par kya karun...aaj mera jaana zaruri tha...ab sahi samay aa hi gaya hai ki tumhe sab pata chal jaaye...ab aur jyada din dur nahi reh sakta main tumse, he checked in for his flight which was about to depart in an hour.

(I am sorry Ishita...i know you must be crying in some random corner of the house at this moment...but what do I do...it was a necessity to leave today...now it is the right time that you know everything...now I cannot stay away from you anymore, he checked in for his flight which was about to depart in an hour.)

Tumhe nahi pata Ishita mujhpe kya beeti hai aur aaj tak beetti aa rahi hai...pehle tumhari wajah se beeti hai aur ab tumhare liye...aaj jo tumhare saath kiya us se jitna dukh tumhe hoga us se kahin jyada mujhe...pichle kuch mahino mein bas bikhar sa gaya hoon...i have been to the hell and back...tum toh sab bhul gayi aur islie nayi zindagi shuru karna tumhare liye aasaan hai par main aaj bhi wahin khada hoon...woh tumhare shabd ki tum mujhse sagai nahi karna chahti mujhse shaadi nahi karna chahti aaj bhi mere kaano mein kaante ki tarah ghuste hain aur goonj goonj ke chubhte hain...bahut takleef dete hain Ishita, he wiped off a lone tear from his eye as he settled down on his seat inside the plane.

(You don't know what I have gone through and still undergoing Ishita...first it was all because of you and now for you...what I did to you today has hurt me a lot more than it has hurt you...i have just scattered in past few months...I have been to the hell and back...you forgot everything so it is easy for you to start a new life but I am still standing there only...your words "you don't want to het engaged to me, don't want to marry me" still prick my ears like thorns...they hurt too much Ishita, he wiped off a lone tear from his eye as he settled down on his seat inside the plane.)

Jahaan Se Tum Mod Mud Gaye The

Yeh Mod Ab Bhi Wahin Pade Hain

(I am still standing at the point from where you had turned away)

Tumhe kya pata kaisa laga tha us din jab tumne saaf shabdon mein mujhse sagai ke liye inkaar kar diya tha...kaisa laga tha us din jab main tumhare ghar aaya tha tumse baat karne...yeh jaan ne ki tumhe kya ho gaya achanak ki tumne sagai ke liye mana kiya par tum mujhse bina baat kiye ander chali gayi thi aur mere muh pe darwaza tak de maara tha...tumhe nahi pata main kya kya apne dil mein dabake baitha hoon...tumse sab kahunga par kal dopahar ko, he messaged something to someone before switching off his phone.

(You don't know how I felt when you boldly refused to the engagement...how I felt the day I had come to your house to talk to you...to know what made you call off this engagement all of a sudden but you had gone inside without talking to me...you had even shut the door at my face...you don't know what all I have kept inside my heart...i will tell you everything but tomorrow noon, he messaged something to someone before switching off his phone.)

Hum Apne Paeron Mein Jaane Kitne

Bhawar Lapete Hue Khade Hain

(You don't know what all I have been through and still undergoing)

Bewafai toh ki tumne mujhse Ishita...thodi si hi sahi ki toh hai...sach chupana bhi toh bewafai hi hai...kya main is layak nahi tha ki tum mujhe kuch bata sako...shaadi ke baad har din tum chup chupke phone par baat karti thi...mujhse jhuth bolke bahaar jaati thi...tumhe lagta tha mujhe kuch nahi pata par mujhe sab pata tha Ishita...main bas chup tha yeh dekhne ke liye ki kya hadd hai tumhari, he held his head which was ready to burst anytime tightly.

(You did cheat me Ishita...even if it is little you cheated...hiding the truth is cheating as well...was I not capable enough that you could share things with me...after marriage you used to talk on phone daily hiding from me...you used to go out telling lies to me...did you think I didn't know anything...i knew everything Ishita...it was just that I was silent because I wanted to see bitter end, he held his head which was ready to burst anytime tightly.)

Badi Wafaa Se Nibhayi Tumne

Humari Thodi Si Bewafai

(You have nurtured my disloyalty with so much loyalty)

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Aapke liye kitna aasaan hai na Raman ek raat rulana phir subah aake hasaana aur phir wapis raat ko bilakhte hue chodke jaana...kabhi bhi aapne socha hai ki is sab se mujh par kya asar hota hai...par sochoge kaise aapko thode na pata hai dard kya hota hai...kabhi aap par beeti hoti toh jaante, she blew off the candles of love she had lighted up dejectedly.

(It is so easy for you Raman to make me cry one night, make me laugh in the morning and then leave me alone once again at night to howl and wail...have you ever thought how all this affects me... but how you would think as you don't know what a pain is...if you would have ever suffered you would have known, she blew off the candles of love she had lighted up dejectedly.)

Kahin Kisi Roz Yun Bhi Hota

Humari Haalat Tumhari Hoti

(Someday it should have happened that my state was yours)

Ek raat aap bhi guzaarke dekho Raman aise kisi ke intezaar mein...kisi se dil tudwa ke dekho...kisi ke liye anginat aansun bahake dekho phir shayad aapko andaaza ho jaaye ki aap ne mujhko kya diya hai is rishte se...jeete jee mar jaana kise kehte hain phir shayad aapko pata chal jaaye, she tied her open hair angrily.

(You should also spend one night in waiting for someone Raman...just feel how it is to get your heart broken by someone...just know what it is to shed infinite tears for someone...maybe then you will get an idea of what you have given me through this relation...maybe then you will know what it is to be dead while being alive, she tied her open hair angrily.)

Jo Raat Humne Guzaari Marke

Woh Raat Tumne Guzaari Hoti

(Spend the night I spent dying once)

Agar mujhse koi bhul hui bhi hai toh bata toh dete mujhe...shayad main sudhar leti...meri bhul shayad utni badi nahi hogi jitni badi bhul aap aaj kar rahe hain aise mera tiraskaar karke...agar aapko meri zarurat nahi hai toh mujhe kahin bhej dijiye...yeh kaisa Rishta hai Raman jismein mujhe aap apne paas bhi rakhte hain aur apne kareeb bhi nahi aane dete...kis galti ki saza dete aa rahe hain aap mujhe itni wafadaari se, she settled in the hall picking up something that Raman had mentioned before leaving.

(If I had made a mistake you could have told me...i would have corrected it...my mistake would not be so huge comparing to what you are doing now by disrespecting me this way...if you don't need me just send me away...what kind of relation is this Raman where you want me to be near you but not close to you...for what mistake are you punishing me with so much devotion, she settled in the hall picking up something that Raman had mentioned before leaving.)

Badi Wafaa Se Nibhayi Tumne

Humari Thodi Si Bewafai

(You have nurtured my disloyalty with so much loyalty)

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Tumne shayad socha hoga ki main khud samajh jaunga...maine socha ki tum mujhe aake sab bataogi...dono ne hi kuch nahi kiya aur apni shaadi ke kuch behad khoobsurat mahino ko kho diya...kyun hum ek dusre pe vishwas nahi kar paaye Ishita, he leaned back to make himself comfortable as the plane settled after taking off.

(You might have thought that I will understand everything on my own...I thought you will come to me and tell everything...we both didn't do anything and lost some beautiful months of our wedding...why we could not trust each other Ishita, he leaned back to make himself comfortable as the plane settled after taking off.)

Tumhe Yeh Zid Thi Ki Hum Bulate

Humen Yeh Umeed Woh Pukaaren

(You had this ego that I will call you and I was hoping that you would call me)

Aaj main bhi wahi Raman hoon tum bhi wahi Ishita ho...pyaar bhi utna hi hai humare darmiyaan...phir bhi kitni dooriyaan hain...kyun...sirf humari un daraaron ki wajah se jo humare beech pad gayi thi humare aapas mein baat na karne ki wajah se...kitna jyada zaruri hota hai na baat karna, he tried to catch a sleep but the thoughts didn't leave his head for a minute.

(Today I am the same Raman and you are the same Ishita...we still have that same love within us...and yet there is a long distance...why...just because of the cracks that formed between us because of non-communication...it is so important to talk right, he tried to catch a sleep but the thoughts didn't leave his head for a minute.)

Hai Naam Hothon Pe Ab Bhi Lekin

Aawaz Mein Pad Gayi Daraaren

(The love is still the same but there are cracks)

Maine jo mazaak mein kaha tha use tumne itna seriously le liya ki tum mujhpar se apna saara bharosa kho baithin...phir aage kya hua hum dono ko pata hai...bas pharak hai toh itna ki tum sab jaanke bhi bhul gayi aur main reh gaya ...hum ek zabardasti ke bandhan mein bandh gaye...jahan sirf pyaar hona chahie tha wahan pyaar hi na bacha...mere ek zara se mazak ko badi wafa se nibhaya tumne, he finally broke down unable to hold his tears anymore.

(What I had said as a joke, you took it so seriously that you lost all the faith you had in me...what happened henceforth we both know...the only difference is that you forgot everything even after knowing and I could not...we got into a forceful relation... Where it was supposed to be just love, there no love remained...you handled my prank so loyally, he finally broke down unable to hold his tears anymore.)

Badi Wafaa Se Nibhayi Tumne

Humari Thodi Si Bewafai

(You have nurtured my disloyalty with so much loyalty)

Par ab jab sab jaanta hoon toh sab thik kar dunga...jo yaad hai use ek baar tumhe batake humesha ke liye bhula dunga...sab kuch pehle jaisa ho jaega...haseen aur pyaara...ab humare pyaar ko bhi uski manzil milega, he wiped off his tears composing himself.

(But now that I know everything I will set everything right...i will forget everything that I remember forever after telling it to you...it will all be like earlier now...beautiful and lovable...now our love too will reach its destination, he wiped off his tears composing himself.)

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As she opened the packet he had left for her, her eyes got a surprise.

"Dil Se-Ishita", she saw the cover of the diary and understood immediately that it was her own diary, the one that she had mentioned to her Amma as a guess.

Curious to know about her own self, she flipped the pages hurriedly and read everything about herself; her childhood, her school days, her college life, her first meeting with Raman, how they were madly in love with each other and so on.

Her smile kept growing wider as she read more and more about the lovely time she had spent with Raman. She connected how that time and the time they spent today synched with each other.

But soon as she reached another page, her smile fell down the cliff.

Aaj meri sagai thi...woh sagai jiske liye kal tak main behad utsuk thi aur aaj behad khilaaf, she got a grave shock as she read the first line of a new page.

(It was my engagement today...the very same engagement for which I was over-excited yesterday and completely against today, she got a grave shock as she read the first line of a new page.)

Aakhir aisa kya hua tha ki maine khud ne sagai se inkaar kiya, she lost herself in some deep thoughts.

(What had happened that I myself refused for the engagement, she lost herself in some deep thoughts.)