Originally posted by: RomComFan
G!!!! 🤗 OMG, it's been so long but I feel like I'm kind of coming home, coz you know your thread has always been my home on this forum where I met some of the most amazing 'thank gawd you're no a creeper in a van' strangers.❤️
But this last episode, specifically, Tuesday's , was compelling enough to want me to contribute something. I loved it, so so much... for me that insecurity and pain- that's my YHM, that's why I love ISHRA.
First, Ishita, I loved it- DT , even more beautiful of late though the dress wasn't exactly to my taste , just knocked it out of the park. I loved that trembling that wavering in confidence. Trying to be who she should be, who her family was encouraging her to , who she knows she is now- and failing because of the haunting words of the wolf in sheep's clothing . The way that DT illustrated all those quick change of emotion, that inner battle- trying and failing to let the words just stay in the air... beautiful!👏
And then Raman- puttar is back baby! I love Romantic Kumar as much as the next puttar fangirl but, man this angsty guy, this is the Raman that won me over in the first place. and KP, as always, so on the top of his game- trying to show strength, trying to stick to this convictions and then the niggling doubt , the slight fear that starts to take root and take over and still he tries so valiantly to hide it- because he can't let it take over, especially infront of Ashok. Beautiful.
As for the flaring up of the insecurities- to me, it didn't feel forced or gimmicky, albeit I haven't watched the show regularly for a while- but in this context, it completely makes sense to me. Insecurities are such because they speak to our deepest fears, even those that are unknown to us; and they take root- they grown in the shadow of our fear and try as we might to rid ourselves of them and 'overcome' because we know we are beyond that space, they never quite leave us. And that's the case with ISHRA- at the base, they have each never believed themselves to be worthy of love. That's their one truth.
Their past has taught them to be cautious and fearful of love and though they have finally found this second chance, that sense of self doubt and unworthiness still remains. As I have said before , neither can believe that a person this amazing is in love with them. To them, more then anyone else on the show, love is an unbelievable and fragile gift and they are just waiting for it to be taken away from them. And the casual words of Shagun & Ashok just brought that all back to the forefront. The ISHRA on our screen these past two days aren't Raman's Ishita and Ishita's Raman- we are watching Shagun's Raman & Subbu's Ishita coming out and showing their heads... and that's why this all makes sense to me.
All this time we saw one angle of Ishita's insecurity, that of motherhood, but the fact is that whole process is tied to the act of procreation and all that rejection of her because of her 'inability to conceive' has also blanketed her view of herself as a desirable woman. And that makes sense. Because before his anniversary gift gave her hope- the only reason that there was for a man to be intimate with Ishita , in her mind , was for pleasure- and the rest of the world had told her, and she herself had begun to believe that her inability to conceive made her undesirable. So then why was she still hesitant even after knowing of the possibility of motherhood? When she herself had made advances towards her husband?
I don't really think that there is a reason, and there needn't be. Because insecurities crop up again and again at the most unexpected times. For Ishita it was Shagun- even now, the opposite of everything she was, and yes of course it was Shagun, Raman's ex wife- but to Ishita Shagun will always be Raman's first wife. She was the first in his life, the first woman he loved, the first woman he chose and the mother of his, now her kids and she was the trigger that brought up all the insecurity, especially on the back of a doctor's visit that touched on the biggest insecurities in her life. So she allowed that woman and her words to have a little power- and that little power was enough for the insecurity to take root. This doesn't mean she never meant it when she made advances towards her husband or she doesn't believe in his love for her- this just means that in that moment, her insecurities were bigger then her clarity.
As for Raman, Ashok will always be the symbol of his biggest failure. And to have him say those words, and then, to be 'proven right' as he saw his Ishita like that, that was the trigger for him. When Raman looks at Ishita, he saw Shagun, he saw his failure- he did not see his wife. So he lashed out and hurt, because that's what RKB does best- strike first and strike fast... but oh how he was hurting. The peeks of vulnerabilty and self disgust was beautifully portrayed by KP. Raman was rude and crude and oh so confused but its not because he can't see her hurt or her love, its because the moment he saw her like that his insecurities were bigger then her truth.
I don't know if this made any sense because I'm half asleep right now and so overwhelmed by the emotion of these last two episodes. But I had to plead my case, because I know a lot of people were frustrated about why they acted that way and to me it made total sense. I hope that I managed to express myself somewhat sensibly. IMHO Insecurities never disappear because they speak to the root of our fears, the thing we see lacking in ourselves- yes for ISHRA this idea was influenced by the words and expectations of the world- but the truth remains that this is their burden and they will always carry it. It can and will never be fully erased, just hidden.
As always, this was much longer then it probably needs to be and I apologize. It's been a while though so i hope you will give me some leeway. I missed this G, and I am so glad we got an epi that finally gave me the change to put on my armchair psychologist hat. Again, hanks for the space, the awesomeness that is your thread and that beautiful collage and words. You always say so simply what I take a million paragraphs to say- well done!
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