Sleep evaded him tonight. He could not even toss and turn, lest she wakes up. She has had a very long day today, and he wouldn't want anything to disturb her peaceful slumber. In fact, she has had long days this entire week, they both have. He shifted a little to adjust his position, but the piercing pain in his back made him immediately give up. If only he was on his bed, in his room, he would not have had this pain. This was not his bed, not their bed. They were at Appa's house, because they had chosen to leave the Bhalla house. He had chosen to leave the Bhalla house, while she merely followed. His eyes welled up at the thought of his house. What would his family be doing in there? Family, a word, no, a feeling, that would lighten up his insides, hold him steady when he himself couldn't stand on his feet, make him feel complete. His family, his parents, his siblings, his support system. His family, in a separate house. His family, which now thinks he's grown too big for his shoes. His family, which did not stop him as he stepped out of that house with his wife and kids.
What went wrong? He tried going back to the turn of the events, but was unable to recollect anything that he could relate to his and his little family's current disposition. It all started with Rinki accusing Ishita of stealing her brother from the family, he recalls. He snorted in anger. Ishita? Steal him from his family? How dare Rinki talk about her in such a degrading manner? And Romi? What did Ishita do to him for him to spew so much venom against her?
His blood boiled when he heard them accusing her for no fault of hers. When has she ever hurt anyone knowingly? And these people, his sister and his brother, ripped her apart like wolves like she was Shagun.
Shagun. Vague scenes from his pre-Ishita life flashed in front of his eyes and that's when all the dots connected. Him transferring the company shares to his wife, him defending his wife in front of every one, him raising his voice & hand on his siblings for his wife. But she is not Shagun. Ishita was not, is not, and will never be Shagun.
After all that he has been through in his life, he has finally found his solace. The one person whom he can be his true emotional self with. She's seen him at his best, but mostly at his worst, and she has chosen to stick by his side through thick and thin. The thought of her by his side was the one ray of hope that kept him going through this maze called life. For he was a broken shell, heart shattered and pierced by the demons of his past, when she entered, and like Midas, she turned every thing she touched into pure gold. She touched him, shook his heart up, stirred his soul. Held him piece-by-piece and glued it all together with her love. Then how could he tolerate anyone raising fingers at her?
All those moments in his previous life when he had fought with his family for his wife, he had always had that guilt inside him. He knew that he was wrong, and he chose to ignore. He was blinded by what he thought was love. But it wasn't love, and his guilt pulled him further down the abyss. He probably would have never come out of that entire guilt had she not held his hand, had she not given him his daughter, and his entire family back. This time he knew, he knew from the bottom of his very soul that he was right, that his wife was right, that she deserved every ounce of respect from his family. Intentionally, unintentionally, he has hurt her a lot. But now, he wouldn't let even a tiny ant hurt his madraassan. He's going to be her shield. And if for that, he has to stay away from his family, so be it. They'll soon realize her worth, and, he couldn't even admit it to himself, his worth too.
They think he eats, speaks, spits money. His father, the man who chose Ishita as his bride, he thinks his son is trying to over-shadow his authority. His brother cannot tolerate his wife's tears, though a few months ago, he himself left her in tears and much more. His sister cannot tolerate her husband's insult that she feels is due to him being his junior in the office, though she herself can insult him in front of the entire family, call him a coward and spineless. Does he mean nothing to his family? The moment he transferred shares in Ishita's name, everything fell apart. Is he only the financial backbone of the Bhallas, and not the eldest son taking care of the entire household with love?
He turned around and looked at her, oblivious of the terrain of his thoughts. How tranquil she looked. Her shallow breathing calmed him down. He could see, even in her sleep, she was troubled. Her forehead had lines and her mouth was curved in a frown. He couldn't help himself but reach out and smoothened the creases on her head. He thanked the almighty for letting her sleep by him, for without her, every hardship would have been a nightmare he wouldn't have been able to come out of. She was his family now. His Ishita, and their kids. He knew Adi & Ruhi were hurt by their moving out, but his kids needed to see this, to realize what a family means, to learn standing up for the right, to learn standing up for their mother who was as good and right as one could ever be. He went closer and gently kissed her on the forehead. A lone tear found its way out and dropped on her nose. He immediately wiped it away.
But his grief woke her up. The moment she felt something cold and liquid on her nose, she instantly knew it was him, and he was crying. A few hours earlier he had held her hand, hugged her, told her he only had her now. She couldn't do anything but hug him back, console him, convey to him through the bone-crushing hug that she'll always be with him, that everything will be alright soon, that this is just a passing phase. But now, his crying silently while she was asleep, she couldn't take this anymore. She opened her eyes, looked into his troubled orbs, cupped his face and gently wiped his tears. She got up and sat straight, pulled him up too and got out of the bed. He was surprised by her behavior, but chose to remain silent. She came back with a glass of water and standing by the bed, offered it to him.
He dragged his feet out of the duvet, sat on the edge, his legs hanging in the air, took the glass of water and kept it on the floor, because it was Appa's house and there was no side-table in the room.
He then pulled her towards him, hugged her waist tightly as if to never let go, rested his head on her bosom, and let go. Let go of all the emotional turmoil in his heart and mind. She felt complete in the moment, for the once hard-as-a-wall Raavan Kumar, was broken once again, albeit for different reasons. He was broken, yet he chose to share his pain with her. He cried inconsolably the next few hours, knowing she would take it all in. She stood there patting his head and back, knowing he was sharing his worst weaknesses with her.
Together, they just crossed another milestone. They made a new family, their own little family, because a family is what you make it.
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