New Ishra FF: Thodi Si Bewafai Part 15 On Page 132 - Page 46

"All about me till now"

To begin is to make a new start. And start is from the scrap.

I was born in Chennai at my maternal grandmother's house. Appa was on a business tour those days. Actually Appa's tour was perfectly timed but my landing on this earth was before time so Appa missed my landing. Ofcourse Appa had come back the very next day as I was born but he missed my birth.

Amma still taunts him for this and he still feels guilty for it even after so many years. So cutely funny my parents are.

Born pre-matured and weak, I was an overly pampered kid. I was always made to feel special. That made me a little stubborn too which I now realize was not good.

I had a royal childhood where all my wishes were fulfilled before I even voiced them. Appa would spoil me lavishly while Amma would struggle to keep me grounded.

I did fine at the school as well until I was told that we were shifting to Bombay.

Migrating from the city where I spent my most beautiful 10 years of childhood, leaving all the friends with whom I learnt the basics of life and most importantly parting from my grandparents made me cranky.

I felt isolated and cheated. Today when I think about my feelings of that time, I laugh specially at the word cheated'.

How innocent that phase was..!!!

I got admitted to the best school of Bombay but I could not make a single best friend. The Marathi culture never fascinated me and the students in my class never showed any interest in my Tamil culture.

Plus I was the only one in my class who always had a chocolate to eat thanks to Appa who would pack more chocolates than books in my school bag. That made the other students jealous and nobody really befriended me.

I was used to the huge and well ventilated houses of Chennai and now in Bombay where the houses were more like match boxes, home was no fun either.

As I grew, I shifted all my focus to my studies not knowing what I had to do in the future career wise.

Appa said I was born to handle his business empire while Amma said I had to grow up into a beautiful girl and get married into a rich household equal to or even higher than us.

But amidst the expectations of my parents, I started losing myself somewhere.

Somehow the school phase passed and I entered into another phase of life college'. Not really knowing what to do in life, I was enrolled into college for a bachelor's degree in arts.

No, I was not weak in studies but I found arts a little less boring than commerce or science.

I finally found a good friend in Mihika in the college. She was one crack piece who in her heard thought that she had solutions for all the problems of this world though her solutions never made sense to others.

But whatever it was I really started enjoying with her and college was pleasant because of her.

Another 3 years passed but the aim of my life still remained a mystery. I got a degree to pile up in my achievement's file which was already filled with so many certificates.

Sometimes I would see myself as a primary school teacher, some other times I would want myself as a reputed government officer knowing the perks of the job while sometimes I would just imagine myself doing a monotonous 10-6 job.

But all my sometimes' crashed when Appa proposed an alliance for me. Amma added on to my confusion by saying that daughter in laws of reputed families didn't work so I should really stop thinking about my career.

As if I was already less unsorted, this new thing messed up my mind.

Here I was busy thinking about my future and my parents were ready to weld my future with someone else.

Someone whom I didn't know, I never met and I never thought about.

But that's all about me until now..!!!

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He read another page from her diary and got a brief about her childhood.

Usne mujhe kabhi yeh sab kyun nahi bataya, he complained cutely.

(Why she never told me all this, he complained cutely.)

Par batati bhi kab...mauka hi kahan mila humen yeh sab baatein karne ka, he answered to his own complaint.

(But when could she tell...we didn't get a chance to discuss all this, he answered to his own complaint.)

Not wasting any more time in complaining and defending, he flipped onto the next page and was about to read but stopped hearing the knock at the door.

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Kya hai why are you disturbing me, he asked his secretary in an irked tone.

(What is it...why are you disturbing me, he asked his secretary in an irked tone.)

Sir there is a call for you, the poor secretary replied.

Who it is, he asked.

Your wife, the secretary said and left after giving him the phone.

He felt disturbed by the call but the caller could not be ignored. Health was surely a reason but after reading those few pages, his heart did melt slightly for her and that was another reason.

Raman: Hello

Ishita: Hi Raman...sorry for disturbing...i didn't know aap itne busy hain ki phone bhi secretary ke paas choda tha...maine bola use ki let it be but usne insist kiya isilie main hold pe rahi warna cut kar deti call

(Hi Raman...sorry for disturbing...I didn't know you were this busy that you had left your phone with your secretary...I told her to let it be but she insisted and so I kept the call on hold otherwise I would have ended)

Raman: No Ishita its ok...i had told her to let me know if you or Maa called...tum batao kaise call kiya

(No Ishita it's ok...i had told her to let me know if you or Maa called...you tell me how you called up)

Ishita: Nahi bas bore ho rahi thi toh socha aapse puch lun aap kab tak aayenge

(No nothing great...I was just bored so thought of checking with you by when you will be home)

Raman: don't worry tumhe jyada bore nahi hona padega...i will be back by lunch time today

(Don't worry you will not be bored for long...I will be back by lunch time today)

Ishita: lunch time sachi...bahut acha hai...aaj main special lunch banati hoon phir toh and please don't stop me...I am fine and you know it

(lunch time really...very good...i will cook special lunch today and you please don't stop me...I am fine and you know it)

Raman: Ok baba go ahead but take care of yourself

Ishita: Pakka Raman

(Surely Raman)

Raman: Chalo toh rakhun phone...phone rakhunga tabhi toh kaam jaldi khatam karunga phir jaldi aa paunga

(Fine then I will hang up now...I will only come early if I finish my work and I can only finish it when I end the call)

Ishita: Haan sure...jaldi jaldi aap kaam karo aur us se bhi jaldi aa jao...i am waiting

(Yes sure...You finish your work fast and come even faster...I am waiting)

Raman: Bye

Bye, she happily said before ending the call. And soon she was on another call.

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Toshi Ji: Kya kaha tune...Raman aaj jaldi ghar aa raha hai

(What did you say...Raman is coming home early today)

Ishita: Haan mummy ji...aapka khadus beta sudharne laga hai lagta hai

(Yes mummy ji...your rude son is changing now)

Toshi Ji: Wah bhai wah...kya khabar sunayi hai tune

(Very good...you gave me good news)

Ishita: Hai na mazedaar khabar...maine socha aapko bata dun taaki meri tarah aap bhi khush ho jao...main bahut khush hoon mummy ji

(I thought I should tell you so that you can be happy as well just like me...i am very happy mummy ji)

Toshi Ji: Woh toh teri khanakti aawaz se pata chal raha hai puttar...mata rani tujhe humesha aise hi khush rakhe

(I can sense that from your chirpy voice...may god bless you with this happiness forever)

Ishita: Thank you mummy ji...chaliye ab main rakhti hoon phone...lunch banati hoon

(Thank you mummy ji...i will carry on now...will cook lunch)

Toshi Ji: Thik hai puttar...badiya sa khaana bana aur jeet le apne pati ka dil

(Fine dear...cook delicious food and win your husband's heart)

She happily ended the call after making her mother in law a part of her happiness.

The bond they shared was unique in its own way.

A child is closest to his mother and connects with her as soon as he opens the eyes into this world.

It was like a rebirth for Ishita after surviving the accident. And since the day she opened her eyes, all she saw was Toshi Ji around her. Toshi Ji took care of her like a mother would care for her infant. She after losing her memory was an infant only who knew nothing but Toshi Ji introduced her to this world.

No doubt she loved her Amma but now Toshi Ji was one place above Amma. After all Amma was also introduced to her by her Mummy Ji.

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He after putting his phone on silent mode made his way back to the sofa and resumed the most interesting task.

"Woh Pehli Baar Jab Hum Mile"

I met someone this afternoon. Yes I had lost the argument to my parents and I was dragged to meet someone.

Someone whom I was supposed to share my life with if all went well.

And that looked like a huge and scary decision.

But finally when I met him, Raman Kumar Bhalla, my Appa's friend's son, it all looked easy.

As suggested by Mihika, I tried to act my opposite but got caught in few minutes.

Good, or bad he was a human with a good heart.

He was able to catch my portrayal of someone who I wasn't and that impressed me. Because people with hearts can only be the heart readers and he read my heart.

Not only that, he was simple. He simply said what he felt without using any artificial words.

And he called me cute as well. I am still smiling recalling that compliment, probably my life's first compliment from a male.

Thirdly he was caring. He understood that I might need time to think and so he was willing to ask for time in his name.

And what came as fourth point is still making me blush. He likes me already. I mean I don't know what I should feel. I should either be happy for getting liked by someone or should I be angry.

Angry because that statement of his made me flow with emotions and take a hurried decision in those fractions of seconds.

If he hadn't said all those words, I would have surely asked for a little more time to think but those words of his made me weak. I felt a sense of responsibility towards him and that made me say a yes to this alliance.

I might look like complaining but I am not. I am glad things are happening this way.

We sometimes realize the value of our rushed decisions later and I want to realize that with time and be proud of my decision.

He said it, I didn't but I feel I too like him.

And now we have one month to know each other before we are officially tied together. But aren't we tied already.

Am I not his and is he not mine already?

Too many questions within, I am looking forward to know this someone who is someone special now.

I have started to weave dreams of a life with him and now I wait for my dreams to get fulfilled.

-Finally a little sorted Ishita

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He finished reading another page and didn't even realize that he was smiling wide. The page was all dedicated to him and he was just happy about it.

So madam didn't even tell me that she too liked at the first sight, another complaint came out.

Arre par I love you bola toh tha...i love you toh I like you se bada hua na gadhe, he defended her against himself.

(But she did say I love you...I love you is better than I like you, you donkey, he defended her against himself.)

Main kahin koi galti toh nahi kar raha na yeh diary padhke...jitna tumko jaan raha hoon utna hi tumse aur jyada judta jaa raha hoon...kahin itna na jud jaun ki juda hona namumkin ho jaaye...par kaash aisa ho hi jaaye toh kya khushnasibi hogi, his mind distracted him.

(Am I making a mistake by reading this diary...the more I am getting to know you, the more I feel connected...what if I get so much connected that it becomes impossible to part...but I so wish it happens...it will be my good luck, his mind distracted him.)

Nahi main galat nahi kar raha yeh diary padhke...ek baar puri padh li toh kam se kam aar ya paar toh ho jaega sab...kab tak main aise pyaar aur tyaag ke beech mein jhoola jhulta rahunga...mujhe itna toh jaan ne ka haq hai ki usne waisa kyun kaha tha...ya toh ab main Ishita ko apna bana lunga ya phir use humesha ke liye is rishte se azaad kar dunga..kuch toh ab hoga hi, he made a decision.

(No I am not doing anything wrong by reading this diary...once I read it completely it will all be clear for once...till when will I keep swinging between love and sacrifice...i atleast have the right to know why she said that...either I will make Ishita mine or free her from this relation forever...something will happen surely now, he made a decision.)

He was about to slide on to the next page but before that his eyes watched the clock.

Oh shit Ishita must be waiting for me, he said and hurriedly left after locking the diary in his drawer.

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Rajma, fried bhindi, masala rice aur yeh ho gayi unki favorite pooriyan, she happily set all the food on the table.

(Rajma, fried lady finger, spiced rice and his favorite pooris, she happily set all the food on the table.)

Arre woh raita toh main kitchen mein hi bhul gayi, she blabbered to herself and ran to fetch his favorite cucumber curd.

(I forgot the curd in the kitchen, she blabbered to herself and ran to fetch his favorite cucumber curd.)

She surely was on a mission to win over her husband adapting the old saying: Way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

All his favorites were cooked with the help from Toshi Ji and now she was waiting for his eagerly.

Raman aap nahi jaante par in chand hi dinon mein main aapko bahut chahne lagi hoon, she made a shy confession to herself while looking at his photo that was kept on the side table.

(Raman you don't know but I have started loving you in just few days, she made a shy confession to herself while looking at his photo that was kept on the side table.)

Kaise Piya Se Main Kahun Mujhe

Kitna Pyaar Hai

(How do I tell you darling how much I love you)

Jaldi aaiye na please...intezaar hi nahi ho raha hai, she pleaded to his photo feeling restless.

(Please come fast...I am just not able to wait anymore, she pleaded to his photo feeling restless.)

He was not late but her clock was running too fast today.

Aankhon Ko Intezaar Hai

Dil Bekarar Hai

(The eyes are eagerly waiting and the heart is restless)

She then picked up his photo in her hands and kept it close to her heart. She felt happy but shy the very next second at her own action.

This was just his photo but what would it feel when he would be that close to her, she thought before covering her eyes in shyness with her free hand.

Hoga Milan Apna Mujhe

Aitbaar Hai

(We will unite one day and I am sure about it)

Opening her eyes again, she looked into his eyes through the photo and shared an eye lock with him.

Aapki aankhon mein bhi mujhe wahi bechaini nazar aati hai Raman jo mujhe apne ander mehsus hoti hai, she smiled dreamily.

(I can see the same restlessness in your eyes Raman which I feel inside me, she smiled dreamily.)

Aankhon Ko Intezaar Hai

Dil Bekarar Hai

(The eyes are eagerly waiting and the heart is restless)

Jab aap aas paas nahi ho toh dil mein kitni saari baatein hain kehne ko par jab aaoge toh yeh shabd zara mera saath na denge...par aap please mere bina bole samajh jaana ki mere unkahe shabdon mein kitna pyaar hai, she requested his photo before keeping it back at its place.

(Now that you are not around, my heart has so much to say but when you will be here the words will not support me...but you please understand the depth of my love through my unsaid words, she requested his photo before keeping it back at its place.)

Kaise Piya Se Main Kahun Mujhe

Kitna Pyaar Hai

(How do I tell you darling how much I love you)

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She then proceeded towards her room to get ready.

Good food and beautiful wife, was the plan for the day. First half being done, it was now time to commence the second part.

She stood there right in front of the mirror draping a saree once again of red color along with a combination of pure white.

She just could not understand why her hands were only reaching red shades lately. But that strong urge from within to wear red was uncontrollable and she could only give up to it.

As she pinned the pallu of her saree on her shoulder, all she could imagine was him as the replacement of pallu hugging her close and tight.

Aayenge Jab Woh Saamne

Baahon Mein Main Bhar Lungi

(I will embrace him in my arms as soon as he comes in front of me)

Yeh aapne mujhe kya kar diya hai Raman...har jagah har taraf har cheez mein har baat mein bas aap hi aap ho...mujh mein bhi aap ho aur mere liye bhi aap...par ismein mera koi kasoor nahi hai...aap ho hi itne ache...kaise meri har baat maan lete ho...haan thode se khadus ho par cute waale...cutie khadus, she lost herself in his thoughts while styling her hair.

(What have you done to me Raman...all I can see is just you everywhere in everything...you are only one inside me and for me too...but I am not at fault here...you are so good that I just can't help...you agree to everything I say...yes you are a little rude but cute at the same time...cutie rude, she lost herself in his thoughts while styling her hair.)

Jaanti hoon bahut zid karti hoon na aapse...kabhi bahaar dinner ke liye leke jaane ki kabhi balcony mein chai peene ki...kabhi kuch kabhi kuch...par ab aur nahi...ab aapki hi baatein maangungi...bas ek baar kehke dekhna, she sank in his love.

(I know I force you for things...sometimes for taking me out for dinner...sometimes for having tea with me in the balcony...something or the else is always ready...but not anymore...now I will just listen to you everything you say...just try me once, she sank in his love.)

Maanungi Unki Baat Ko

Unse Zid Na Karungi

(I will listen to everything he says and not insist him for anything)

She gave herself a final look in the mirror and then made her way out to the hall. The clock still showed half an hour left for his arrival and that made her angry. Her patience was giving up and her wandering was increasing with every passing minute.

After dreaming so much in her head, she was aroused by his love and he the unaffected one was not ready to show any sign.

Chaane Lagi Hai Madhoshiyaan

Haaye Kya Khumaar Hai

(The intoxication has started to spread and there is a kind of hangover)

Her eyes were stuck to the door while her heart was beating unevenly.

Aankhon Ko Intezaar Hai

Dil Bekarar Hai

(The eyes are eagerly waiting and the heart is restless)

All she wanted was to have him with her and let unspoken words confess her love.

Kaise Piya Se Main Kahun Mujhe

Kitna Pyaar Hai...!!!

(How do I tell you darling how much I love you)