"Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! Only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you! Oh, God! it is unutterable! I cannot live without my life! I can not live without my soul!"
Emily Bront, Wuthering Heights
"What it's like to be a parent: It's one of the hardest things you'll ever do but in exchange it teaches you the meaning of unconditional love."
Nicholas Sparks, The Wedding
I don't remember being quite so blown away with YHM recently, and I am sure the feeling is tragically mutual.
Until recently we had many complaints, a lot of hullabaloo regarding this was made and rightly so. To be honest I was beginning to wonder why I am sticking with this show except for the fact that it's become a habit, an addiction of sorts for me and no addiction or terrible habit should be nurtured. Then came the news of this track - fire sequence + earthquake, fire we knew about thanks to the promo, the earthquake though was a new development. Like many of my friends with whom I have conversed, I was not quite sure of what to make of it and wasn't keeping my hopes up for the sequence. The history of this show of the past few months didn't make it seem like a prudent choice to do so. If I have to say, on a scale of 1-10 I was expecting the episode to be barely a 1.5-2 in terms of the quality of the execution, probably a 3 if luck favored us but this turned out to be so much better. I still won't give it a straight ten but it does qualify for a close 9 or a 7.5-8 in terms of what was delivered versus the expectations.
I don't remember being this moved by YHM two episodes in a row but I am so happy to be so pleasantly surprised by it.
These last two episodes reminded me why I fell in love with the show and stuck to it. It made me realize the potential our cast has to act and so does the rest of the team if only given a chance to execute the same, if given a platform to perform and utilize their abilities, giving it their very best.
The other night I wrote about Ruhi in particular and the two mothers being too tired to mention the father, the husband in the picture. He too is an equally important character on this dais and somehow I am glad that exhaustion won out in the end last night and I refrained from writing about him - because tonight I can do it, which is so much more apt, since tonight was Raman Kumar Bhalla' night. Last night Karan Patel was the star and as he emoted the plight of a grief-struck, panicky, almost going mad Raman Bhalla, I was moved to tears.
I knew I wanted to write about him the moment the episode started, wished to do it sooner but two things prevented me from doing that - the first, I was too overcome, too overwhelmed to write anything coherently, the other I was waylaid by life.
Anyhow I am here now and getting this show on the road.
Like I said, my emotions were all over the place and my thoughts were a jumble which would have made it impossible for me to write anything coherently, especially because as the episode aired and even after it. Somehow, all I could think was of two things in connection to it - the first a song I am in love with, the other the starting of a movie which is a favorite of masses and classes alike I am sure.
The movie in question is impossible to miss - and the song is something which inspired the title of my post.
The movie is K3G, I am sure with that star cast it would be hard to find a fan of Indian movies who doesn't know about it and hasn't seen it...the song is called Bleeding Out' by a band named Imagine Dragons'.
K3G begins with the lines why a father is unable to express his love for his son but a mother keeps on saying it though he never listens, the father says it doesn't mean though I don't love my son and the mother says even she doesn't know the extent of her love.
I know it seems a bit off to connect this here, but bear with me please.
Raman & Ishita - a couple was trying to catch a break from being from being parents - as Raman says when they enter their suite. Tonight I am not papa and you are not Ishimaa, let's just be Raman and Ishita for the night...but is it really possible for a parent to discard their role? Yes, they may want a breather for themselves occasionally - parents are humans too - but the love of a child is so overwhelming, so overpowering that it rules your mind, heart and soul beyond reason and understanding, beyond the powers of your rationale.
It's this love which made Ishita think of Ruhi at the moment when Raman narrated a poem to her, a woman once she becomes a mother finds it hard to locate the off switch for her thoughts and emotions when it comes to her child.
Therefore, driven by the urge to perform the duty of a mother Ishita made a call and that's when all hell broke loose.
Raman & Ishita, who wanted to take a break from being parents were immediately panicking for their kids, neither of them wasted not a moment as they realized their kids were missing - however the difference was in the way they reacted to the situation, NOT in the way they felt about it.
The mother panicked and started crying, wanting her kids with her; the father too wanted the same however he couldn't break down - not do it, because his wife needed him, his family needed him and mostly his kids needed him.
He was terrified, panicked and yet not allowed to break down because he knew if he does that, everyone around him will come tumbling down like a house of cards, a father isn't allowed to appear weak in a crisis, no matter how shaken he is.
I know a lot of people felt like Ishita reaching the kids first, saving them from fire and then the earthquake was all made to happen because they prefer the female lead to have supremacy over the male, but I don't think so.
Ever wondered why Raman and Ishita had different opinions when it came to Shagun and the kidnapping, what was exactly the reason that Raman could figure out the puzzle only once he reached the place where the ransom was to delivered?
It is simple really; it's their roles - as parents that made them react differently even as both of them had the same thing in mind.
Ishita couldn't doubt Shagun because she thought that as a mother Shagun would never endanger her kids, as a mother herself, Ishita couldn't even think a woman could possibly ever put her kids in the line of danger for her own selfishness, even someone like Shagun.
On the other hand, when Raman figured out that the whole plot was a ruse he names Shagun as the first person when asked by the ACP, as to who he doubts.
Raman figured out Ashok and Shagun had plotted everything once he saw the site only because he had stopped thinking too out of panic in the duration he felt his kids were in danger. His mind that had doubted Shagun refused to waste time confronting her because it was just focused on one thing, that if he is wrong his kids will suffer, his priority was to see them safe and sound rather than engage in an exercise that could be pointless and useless.
I can say this because my personal experience came to me last night post this episode.
No I wasn't kidnapped with my brother like Adi and Ruhi, when we were kids - I have fortunately not been tormented with a mom like Shagun or a family history like the Bhallas, but I remember an incident when my mum had taken us siblings to shop together but somehow we got separated. This happened over 15 years ago, in a time when mobile phones were still not as necessary as they are today nor were they available to everyone. As kids, my brother and I certainly didn't have them needless to say.
Being the older one, I like Adi wasn't allowed to panic though it wasn't an easy job with a 6-7 year old brother who like Ruhi was crying and terrified with me.
I remember doing the only and the first thing I could think of - call my dad and my mom had the same idea almost around the same time - a while later while the three of us were reunited, my dad who by then was on his way home was still on edge.
It is an incident we laugh about now, tease my mom about saying at least Nirupa Roy cannot claim to be the only mother who loses her kids thanks to her 😆 at the time though it was terrifying.
My dad just like Raman had been scared like hell when he received my call as he talked to me but stayed in control. The instructions Raman gave to Adi and Ruhi brought on a sense of deja vu for us, the only difference being I didn't have to lock any door nor was subjected to a blast and an earthquake that followed it.
As I said a father is not allowed to SHOW how terror-stricken he is, how scared and vulnerable he is even if he is quaking in his boots the moment he learns his kids are in danger.
However the same cannot be said for a husband, especially one who is on the verge of losing his wife, the one person with whom he can share his every pain, his every woe - the one person in front of whom he can bare himself not just physically, but emotionally and mentally too.
As a father Raman had to hold it all together, the reason why when he first saw his kids he hugged them, asked them if they were all right. He had to let them know he is there and now nothing untoward can happen to them.
But the moment the husband learned his wife is missing all bets were off...remember the Mani track? I am sure you do, one of the most significant moments of the track was a hospital scene. A scene where Mihir asked Raman to stay strong for Ishita, but all that did was led Raman to reveal - he can't do it - how can he when his strength is lying on a hospital bed in that state? How is he supposed to hold himself together, keep his daughter and his family happy when she is here in this state? How is he supposed to be fine and strong when every moment that she stays the way she is it kills him on the inside.
That night a man cried shaken by his helplessness as he saw the plight his wife was in. The woman who pulled him out of a dark abyss, the woman he came to feel for was suddenly not the formidable force of nature he always saw her as, perceived her to be. He teased her for acting under impulse as nothing frightened her or even if it did she faced it, which led him to give her a nickname, she was not indestructible as she always came across as and suddenly, everything that happened to her had become of consequence to him.
She had become important to him.
This time around his fear was greater, his shock insurmountable and his panic tangible.
Last night as Raman went through the various emotions from being scared to out of control to numb and then again out of mind with fear, a man in love who now knew what he stood to lose was on the verge of exploding and losing his mind, himself at the prospect of losing Ishita.
What made his fear real; his panic so relatable was his vulnerability that he exposed at last.
As he fell apart, Raman was at his rawest.
And just like he had said earlier she is his strength, he drew courage from her as he recollected their vows and knew in his heart she wouldn't have given up on him had it been him in this place, how could she - wasn't it in their vows that they would grow old together, raise their family side by side face the good and bad with each other.
I won't need to write about Ruhi leading once again Raman to Ishita or that moment when they hugged her after finally moving the debris off her because frankly there are no words that can describe that moment there can be only this
In the end I would post the video to the song that inspired the title of this post, a VM of a show I am a huge fan of which introduced me to this song in the first place
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWkpEz6q67Y
Replies will be late sorry in advance
TEAM YHM take a bow 👏