Being 'Progressive' - A Take on 27/04/15

First Previous

Page

Next Last

Frequent Posters

Lucky

@alwaysaTVFan

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 10 years ago

#11

Excellent points Aani and very pertinent questions indeed

In a very round-about way, the CVs have raised the stigma of a divorcee, and I also think (unfortunately) if the woman had been the divorcee in the story it would have been worse. But even the man being a divorcee raises eyebrows in the classiest of people. Irrespective of the gender, the first question everyone can think of is "what is wrong with her/him that their spouse left them?" Our society doesn't yet consider the fact that 2 people may really be unsuited, or 2 people may have genuinely fallen out of love. If they had even found out that Raman was left by his cheating wife, I am sure he would have gained some sympathy, but there would still be whispers of... "why did the wife have to cheat in the first place! I am sure this guys must not have treated her well!"

In my opinion (and experience), neither education nor wealth change one basic facet of people's personality. That is the need to talk about someone else's misery, if nothing, then to only hide their own unfulfilled lives. The way people gossip changes, the frequency and the 'sting' of back-biting differs from mob to mob; but people do take a perverse pleasure in finding faults in other's lives.

If Ishita had walked in with Subbu, married to him and had a couple of kids of her own to boast of, they'd perhaps be the most boring couple in the party (to gossip about I mean). The conversation would have started with> "Oh I am so happy for you guys"... "We always knew you two would end up together"... that's it. Then there wouldn't have been anything to talk about.

But Ishita coming into the party with her EX, and then a previously-divorced man introducing himself as her husband would have been like gossip goldmine... I didn't watch the episode, so I am not sure what kind of language & expressions that were used by the gossip-mongers. But, I, for one am not surprised their friends were talking about them behind their backs. I don't like it, but I expected that it would be milked for its worth dramatically.

***

The one thing that I do wish is, in the name of touching upon progressive topics, the CVs would also show them scenes ending progressively. I wish the outcome of today's scene was a virtual slap in the face of the gossip-mongers... and some message about how one shouldn't judge another person's life & choices unless they walk a mile in their shoes.

Quote

--Megha--

@--Megha--

Sparkler

Posted: 10 years ago

#12

Good post Aani.

I feel a part of society will always have prejudices about people over certain issues no matter how far we have come as a society.

It was hilarious that Ishita's batchmates were calling her a gold digger and her husband a divorcee with kids as a baggage at the same time. They mean no good to Ishita either ways, just wanted to put her down coz maybe she was a better student at college or earns better than them (considering she was handling Rinky's wedding single handedly).

No wonder she didnt invite such page 3 socialites to her wedding.🤣

Quote

Looks like you are new here. Register for free, learn and contribute.

Coco

@---CoCo---

Voyager

Posted: 10 years ago

#13

Aani bang on post.👍🏼 Everything you have brought up were the same thoughts going on in my head while watching the show. It was the same reasons I did not enjoy watching today's episode.

I always say this to people what is the point of being educated when you are going to act so uneducated. Your education that you worked hard in getting and the thousands of dollars you spend on it goes down the drain. Education is suppose to help solve many problems we have in our society but if these so called educated people act uneducated then are we ever going to make progression.

Come to the whole divorce situation, today's episode made me realize that men go to the same the struggle as women maybe slightly less. I am only saying the because I have seen divorce women struggle with getting married again specially those with children (my own cousin is an example I am basing my assumptions on). Divorce has and always will be a tabbo in our society unless we the next generation change that thinking.

I still don't understand the whole Subbu angle in this whole track but today's episode was an eye opener for many. Raman's insecurities were brought up again but I feel like this time is different because both Ishra are in love and pretty much know were they stand in each other's lives.

One thing for sure is when friends gossip about you behind your back you know they are not your true friends because true friends know your heart inside and out and will never judge.

Edited by cocololo123 - 10 years ago

Quote

Lucky

@alwaysaTVFan

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 10 years ago

#14

Oh, I forgot to say one more thing 😳

it touches upon gold-diggers, not divorcees ...

Say Ishita WAS a "gold-digger"... say she did dump Subbu cause she found a 'wealthier' match in Raman... all that it means is that a woman CHOSE a man with money over a man without any money... does that automatically imply she is wrong/bad? She made a choice to marry for money instead of love...

Honestly, in my books, calling someone a gold-digger is just as bad as denouncing someone because he/she is a divorcee 😳 without knowing the facts

In some situation somewhere I am sure someone would have applauded a gold-digger Ishita as being more grounded and realistic. Someone who grew up without any money, someone who struggled to make ends meet, someone who suffered because of lack of basic amenities of life would perhaps prefer a 'rich' man over a romanticised version of an 'ideal' husband?

Quote

ankitasen

@ankitasen

Voyager

Posted: 10 years ago

#15

Originally posted by: smritishah
Lovely take.
Is it just me or Ishita's dentist friends are weirder than Shagun's page 3 friends??? 😆

With few words and in a sarcastic way, actually you explained it all. 👍🏼

Quote

K.S.

@K.S.

Dazzler

Posted: 10 years ago

#16

very nice post aani..i read this in daily discussion..plz do make more posts😛😛

Quote

rutu83

@rutu83

Dazzler

Posted: 10 years ago

#17

brilliant post aani

ah the divorcee "daag"

one of the things i actually hate about yhm is shagun funda- not only because it's a headache but because it reinforces the 'past never leaves' thought. personal experience- when i originally started watching the show, i had to defend it to some ladies(not all aunties- some were young and working professionals including docs) at a party. and i'm nri- so these aren't "indian-mindset" ladies. they thought the show should've shown ishra adopting ruhi after their marriage because poor ishita had to marry a divorcee. "even widower would be better than a divorcee" - direct quote mind you. because dealing with the past isn't worth it. it drives me bonkers that indian daily soaps always show ex as negative character. and showing someone like shagun kinda reinforces these thoughts while in most cases ex-es tend to stay in the peripherals of life. not to mention- this completely takes away from the man. doesn't matter the kind of person he is- he's got b**** ex :(

i really liked the way 'men face this stigma as well' thought was brought forward on the show 👏

Quote

mreshma

@mreshma

Inactive

Posted: 10 years ago

#18

A very sensible post indeed...

Like many, the only part in yesterdays episode that didn't go well with me was Ishita's so called Doctor friends asking her to dance with a fractured leg, that too with her ex in her husbands presence.They even went to the extent of saying it on Raman's face that he won't mind it...it was so immature...

Now coming to the point being discussed here...yes, funnily, what I have seen around me is that irrespective of whether people are educated or uneducated, rich or poor, young or old, whatever, 'gossiping' or rather discussing others life is very common. I myself is a Postgraduate and was formerly working in a Central Govt. Organization, and frankly speaking even I discuss about others with my friends and I think it is very common to normal human nature. But, the fact is I know where to draw a line. I will keep myself away from a discussion, where a person being discussed gets degraded beyond limits but definitely, I cannot stop others who are interested in it ( Believe me, I have heard some of the highest officials in dignified positions of my office, indulging in the most immature gossips).

The fact is, no education, no wealth, no age, nothing is directly proportional to the way of thinking/mindset of an individual or a group or class of people.

So, here these dentist friends are obviously meeting each other after a long time gap, and continuing from the point where they left last time... so, in that context, for them, Ishita is a gold-digger who parted ways with her love to marry a rich divorcee with two kids. And interestingly they will not even bother to break this notion, because Ishita-Raman-Subbu was just their hot topic of discussion for that evening.

But, yes, all this being said, we can never generalise anything and there are people who are sensible and good at heart who never are interested in discussing others, but sadly, such people are a minority.

Quote

kavya

@s_kavya

Rocker

Posted: 10 years ago

#19

Bang on post Aani... i didn't like the way those girls were gossiping about both ishra... one side they were praising ishu and saing she used to love subbu so much and other side they were calling her gold digger indirectly by saing she married a rich divorcy guy may be for money... it was to hard to digest for this educated ppl that ishita married a divorcy man who have two children i was like get a life girls what kind of thinking is this? Do this ppl know how subbu left ishu when she needed him most just because she can't give him a child...and i am very curious to know what will be there reactions or thinking after knowing what subbu did...and what will be there opinion about Raman than... and how insensitive it is to ask a lady who is on wheelchair to dance and that to with her ex and in front of her Husband... one side they have broad minded thinking that ishita can dance with her ex in front of her Husband and other side they can't digest ishu married a divorcy and father of two children how progressive or regressive is that ? If this is the thinking of very well educated ppl then we really can't blame ppl like Toshiji who comes from old school thinking...

Once again superb post Aani 😊