"Tumne sahi kaha tha. Maine sach me bahut der kar di"
(you were right..i am really very late)
Did he just say that!?
Two pair of hands withdrew from their position in a jerk, mine that clutched Raman's collar and Raman's that wrapped around me.
Until now we were oblivious of his presence.
Not that we didn't know he was here but we seemed to have forgotten that he was still there.
"Mere samne jo khadi hai wo Ajnabi ki Anamika nahi, Raman ki Ishita hai. Maine waqayi bahut der kar di"
(the one standing in front of me is not ajnabi's anamika, she is raman's ishita..i am truly very late.)
He was right!
There was no trait of Anamika left in me.
When I was engaged to Raman, I wanted to have Viren in my life.
Now that Viren is here, I want to be with Raman.
What am I?
A dissatisfied, unappeased, malcontent jerk?
All synonyms of a person not satisfied with what he has came flowing in right at that moment but my mind was able to process only three of them.
I hated myself for being such a selfish person.
I was undoubtedly in a #Self-Loathing Mode but in no way was I going to back off from my decision.
For the first time in life, I knew I was more than sure that I had made the right decision and I am going to stick on to it, no matter what people would term me as.
I was unafraid of the consequences because I knew I had my shield Raman around me.
But at the same I felt sorry for breaking Viren's heart.
"I am sorry Viren..." I wanted to say more but I was interrupted by him
"Dekha..ab mai tumhare liye Ajnabi bhi nahi raha. Kitni ajeeb baat hai na. Aksar Ajnabi ghair hothe hain aur Jaan pehchanwale apne. Par jab tak mai Ajnabi tha, to tumhare liye apna tha, ab tum mujhe jaan gayi ho to mai paraya hogaya" he let out a sarcastic chuckle.
(see..now i am not even ajnabi for you..how weird is this..mostly strangers are strangers and those known are dear ones. but until i was ajnabi(stranger), i was your dear one, but now that you know me..i am a stranger to you)
I could feel his pain but could not do anything to soothe him.
"Mai...wo..." I was at loss of words. I could not say a word more than that.
"Koi baat nahi Anamika...sorry...Ishita...dekho mai phir se bhool gaya ki tum ab Anamika nahi ho" he said with a pained expression.
(its ok anamika..sorry..ishita..see i again forgot that now you are not anamika)
I pursed my lips as I was unable to speak a word that could lessen his pain.
I was responsible for his pain after all.
Raman must have sensed my guilt and that's why he came forward to cover it up for me, "Viren...Isme Ishita ki koi galti nahi hai. Wo to patha nahi mai kahan se tum donon ke beech agaya"
(viren..ishita is not at fault. its me..i don't know from where i came in between you guys)
See I told you he is MY SHIELD.
"Arre nahi Raman...You don't have to feel guilty about it. Mai hi bewakoof tha jo khud ko us kahani ka Hero samajh baitha, jo kahani kabhi meri thi hi nahi. Ye kahani to tum donon ki thi, Ishita ur Raman ki. Mai to sirf ek supporting character tha jise tum donon ko milane ka zariya banna tha"
(oh no raman..you don't have to feel guilty about it. i was stupid that i thought that i was the hero of this story, which was never mine. this story is yours, ishita and raman's story.i am just a supporting character who acted as a catalyst for you two to meet.)
This statement of his compelled me to analyse the events that had occurred in the past one year.
Was it even love that I felt for Viren?
Or is this love that I feel for Raman?
The answer was not clear yet for me.
But one thing I knew for sure that what I felt for Raman is stronger than what I felt for Viren.
The reason could be that Raman is an open book for me.
He did hide things initially but now there is nothing hidden from me.
Whereas Viren is still an unexplored book for me.
I have seen only the cover page and a lot yet to explore.
(@bold: Copied from smilydear's comment on Pg 33...I found those lines very striking and had promised her that I would use those lines in the story)
That's exactly why in the choice between the two people who apparently love me equally, I decided to choose Raman.
"I am sorry brother. Ho sake to mujhe maaf kar dena. Mai tumhare aur Ishita ke beech kabhi nahi ana chahta tha. Aaj bhi agar Ishita tumhare sath jaan chahti to mai kabhi nahi rokta"
(i am sorry brother. please forgive me if possible . i never wanted to come between you and ishita. Even today if ishita wished to be with you i would never have stopped her)
Raman said with all sincerity placing a hand on Viren's shoulder.
"Yaar aur kitna mahan banoge? Already tum Ishita ki nazar me itne mahan ban chuke ho ke use tumhare siwa aaj kuch nazar hi nahi araha. Thoda mahan banne ka mouqa mujhe bhi de do. Agar tum apne pyar ki qurbani de sakte ho, to mai bhi to de hi sakta hun"
(friend how great you want to be? already you are so great in ishita's eyes that today she cannot see anything besides you. give me some chance to be great too. if you can sacrifice your love, i too can do that.)
he said imitating Raman's action by placing his hand on Raman's shoulder.
"Akhir mai bhi to Ishita ki khushi hi chahta hun. Akhir mai to usse utna hi pyar karta hun jitna ki tum"
(After all its Ishita's happiness that I wish for. I too love her as much as you do)
he looked deep into my eyes while saying that and I could not stop the tears that rolled onto my cheeks without warning.
"Hey" He said coming closer and wiping those tears with his thumb.
"Rona nahi" he waved his fingers
(No crying)
"Yahan ye do mard jo lad rahe hain na"
(The two men fighting here)
he said waving his finger between him and Raman "tumhari khushi keliye lad rahe hain, tumhari hasi keliye lad rahe hain. Ab tak to hum pyar se lad rahe hain. Agar tum aise rone lagogi to yahan sach me hum donon ke beech jung chid jayegi kyunki jo koi tumhari ankhon me ansu layega usko hum zinda nahi chodenge. Kyun Raman? Sahi kaha na maine?"
(are fighting for your happiness, they are fighting for your smile. till now we were fighting with love, but if you start crying like this then definitely there will be a war between us because whoever brings tears in your eyes we will not let him live. right raman?)he turned towards Raman raising his eyebrow.
Raman nodded with folded hands giving his half smile.
"Mujhe maaf kar do please. Meri wajah se tumhe aaj bahut dukh pahuncha hai"
(please forgive me. today you are in pain because of me)
"Sach hai ke dil to dukha hai
Humne magar socha hai
Dil ko hai gham kyun
Ankh hai nam kyun
Hona hi tha jo hua hai
(Its true that the heart has pained today
But lets think of it this way
Why is the heart sad
Why are the eyes wet
What happened was bound to happen)
Us bath ko jane hi do
Jiska patha Kal Ho Naa Ho"
(Let those thoughts not bother you
Whose signs may not be there tomorrow)
Did he just say that!?
(Translation Credit: seemamittal)
---------------------------To be continued--------------------
Kaisa tha???
Too much hogaya kya😕
Samajh me nahi araha tha kya likhun...
Kam se kam 100 - 200 baar backspace aur delete dabane ke baad ye outcome nikla hai...
Ab jaisa bhi hai bas yahi hai...
Ufff Yeh Love Hai Mushkil
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