Subbu looked at the man at the corner of the room - their house bar. The Iyer house was something to marvelled at. Not only was it massive, it was the perfect mix of tradition and modern architecture. It was magnificent.
"You're a loser! Seriously, you're such a loser. Kaha itna hot maal and there the gharelu you married," exclaimed of his friends.
"Sachchi. If you had any problems with her. That would be okay. If she had any problems, that would be okay too. Look at her. And look at Nalini. Seriously. You're that moron who would trade a diamond for graphite."
"You'll seriously think she would have married Subbu."
"Yeah, kitne saal uske ke saath chakkar chalaya and sabko pata hai that she didn't even let you hold her hand."
"And that guy over there. She knew him for weeks, got knocked up. Ended up marrying him. Now that's a relationship. Admit it. She used you."
"After all Subbu bhaiya pyaar mein pagal tha."
"Tha nahi, an bhi hai. And wo ab abhi dana nahi de rahi hai."
"If he had to marry her then, today he would be married to one of Delhi's highest paid doctors."
"Bola na, class ka mamla hai. Even if they did marry she would have dumped him for some guy."
"That's the difference between you and that guy over there. No matter how hard you try you won't be able to reach the first step to get to her level. And he? He beats her level without even trying."
"Tum rehna, with your Nalini. Nagging, forever irritating Nalini. But lo, she loves you. She luurved you since she was sixteen. Now that is good."
"Whatever made you marry Nalini instead of Ishita? Dimag ghaas khane gaya tha kya?"
"Seriously, you spend 27 years of your life abstaining from all the worldly pleasures. Sala, and then when everything was done. All that was left was seal the deal with the only girl you've ever cared about you go ahead and dump her? Like, what the f**k Subramanian? And you marry the girl everyone teased you with? Does that make sense to you? Because sure as f**k it doesn't make any sense to me."
"What happened? What made you'll split?"
"Nothing, we weren't meant to be," was all that Subbu said.
"If you'll weren't meant to be then why are you still pining for her? You broke up with her, right? Then why are you the one trying to get back together? What happened Subbu?"
All Subbu could see was the man sitting at the counter. The man who stole his chances at being with Ishita. The man who deserved red. And as Subbu saw his brother approach the man, Subbu felt like smashing something. Anything. That man was taking his place. And Subbu didn't like it at all. Not even for a moment.
So when Subbu saw a girl wearing barely any clothes embrace Ishita's husband she grinned inwardly. While his friends awed at how hot the girl was, Subbu saw this as the perfect opportunity. He knew that something was wrong the minute Bala gave Raman and Mihir the he you'll-are-dead-men-walking-look. Subbu knew that he had to cease this opportunity and make very good use of it.
Subbu's friends stared at the young girl wearing a crop top and a pair of high waisted ripped shorts. She was the bomb. Doe eyed. Full lipped. And the dark volumous mane. A complementary nose ring just added to her enigma.
They would he lying if they hadn't tried to gain the attention of a girl almost half their age. And she did what they expected her to do - she walked right over to RKB, stood behind and covered his eyes. One could swear they saw RKB roll his eyes and scrape those hands off his eyes. And they expected fury and drama. Instead they got the younger one demanding a hug in apology and RKB giving in to the demands of the pouting one. Only to ruffle her hair later as she handed him her phone and skipped over to Mihir and Bala. While she shook hands with Bala what she did with Mihika's fiance was the bomb! She pecked Mihir on the cheek. Oh, how many men wished to be in his place.
And as she walked out of the room virtual violins played for some while rose petals flew for others who cursed RKB for stopping her mid-way.
"Tumhe lagta nahi ki tumne kapde those zyada pehne hai?"
"Sach mein? Nahi toh. Mein har girl sleep over mein yehi pehenti hoon. And vaise bhi bhabhi ne bhi yehi pehna hai. Humne kapde coordinate kiye the"
"Humari itni acchi kismat kaha. Jaldi jao varna voh yaha aakar mera bheja fry kar degi."
****
Raman was to be left alone. It wasn't that he didn't want company. But no one offered him company and it wasn't in his books to forge new friendships. So he sat there fiddling with his phone and thoughts until his daughter came along, and instead of offering him company she ran off after mumbling something about sitting with a lady and her baby. It was when his father-in-law sent him a reassuring nod that Ruhi was in safe company that he was fine. And then came along who skipped across his father and stood besides Raman requesting the older one to life him up to his chair where he rolled his eyes and mulled over how unfair life was to guys. So Raman switched his alcohol for a wine glass filled with neat coke for Shrav and an iced coke for himself. And together they sat there just perfect loners chucking over random nothings as Shravan complained about Ruhi to Raman and Raman complained on how his Madrasan and Mini Madrasan had ditched him upon coming here. And when Aditya called complaining about Shagun going out on a date leaving him alone, they had formed the perfect trio until Aditya disconnected upon reaching his Dada Dadi's place.
Bala had called Shravan over as Shravan refused to come citing that he receiving training on how to be a big brother. And when Bala countered that he was a big brother too, Shravan had said that Bala was a the big brother to a chachu he didn't know about, when Ruhi's papa was the big brother to four siblings. And then Adi was Ruhi's big brother and everyone was scared of him, so Ruhi was safe. That he wanted to be a big brother like Aditya.
To which Bala had laughed and said that he too needed training from Raman. He was following Raman's footsteps in having kids with a similar age difference. An elder son and a younger daughter.
Raman had laughed and said that he had his Madrasan too.
Shravan had been Raman's self proclaimed best friend.
And Raman had been more than happy to welcome someone from Ishita's camp to his.
And when Ishita had walked into the boys adda, everyone had been more than happy to welcome Akka. If not scared for the reaction her would have with her wearing clothes half the men in room wouldn't permit their wives to wear. Heck she was wearing something Subbu's wife wouldn't be caught be dead wearing. Instead her husband just rolled her eyes as Shrav shook his head at the duo. Ishita had smirked as Raman grinned and held his hand for a passing high five.
Bala could swear he saw Raman's grim face lighten up upon seeing Ishita. A light smile grace his face as he gave her a passing hi-fi. And Ishita laugh as she saw Shrav drink from a huge wine glass. Something only Raman's mind was handcrafted to do. And upon asking Shravan all he said was that Ruhi had ditched Raman and so had she, so he had decided to give him company. And now that she was here, he was leaving before he was chased away.
Ishita laughed as she took Shravan place opposite Raman.
Raman rolled his eyes and and held his face in his palms. And Ishita quirked her eyebrows quite suggestively quite enjoying her husband's misery.
Raman then turned around and called out to Appa mumbling something like "Appa bachane, tumhari beti ko phir se daura padne wala hai."
Ishita rolled her eyes and called out saying," Appa tumhare super cool damad se kehna ki voh mera phone mujhe wapas kare."
"Matlab he was using your phone till now, privacy naam ki cheez bhi hota hai Ishu akka," called out one of the cousins in the background.
"Leh, gayi behes (buffalo) pani mein, tum se koi kaam dhang se nahi hota hai, right?" mumbled Raman.
"Phone do."
"Mujhe yeh nahi samaj mein aa raha ki you, the apple fanboy, how did you manage with my android?"
"Leh, this is the perfect case of the pot calling the kettle black. Madam, tumne mera phone liya tha. You pocketed my phone and pata nahi kya halat kar kiya hoga mere bechare phone ka!"
"Maine aisa kuch nahi kiya, Raavan Kumar."
"Tum kab karti kya ho, tum kahe toh sab kaand apne aap hote hai. Ishita madam bas situation mein tapak padti hai. Haina?"
"Raavan. Kabhi seedhe mooh bat nahi hoti hai tumse. Har waqt taane marte rehte ho."
"Kya karoon. Tumhe dekhte hi sari seedhi batein tedhi ho jati hai. Ismein mera toda kasoor hai."
"Vaise kyun bacchi ki tang kheech rahe the?"
"Voh tumhe kis angle se bacchi lagti hai?"
"Tumhari tarah buddhi nahi hai,"
"Maine usse kaha tha ki ripped jeans and a white top. Mujhe todi pata tha ki woh shorts and tank top pehen ki ayegi"
"Point. Woh tumhari tarah todi hai,"
"Meri tarah matlab?"
"Tum ek kaam karo, tum bhi shorts and tank top pehen lo,"
"Laake do."
"Pehen logi?"
"Pehen lungi,"
"You won't bail out or anything, right?"
"Laake toh do,"
"Deal?"
"Deal!"
"Baghwan saach mein sunta hai," said Raman as he threw his hands up in the air.
"Men. I tell you. Toh tum Baghwan se yeh mannat karte ho, kash meri biwi shorts pehen le,"
"Humari itni himmat. Hum sirf hope kar sakte hai. Tumhe pehna todi sakta hai," and upon seeing Ishita wiggle her eyebrows rolled his eyes "Aisa hone wala bhi nahi hai." and then he moved away to the counter to serve himself.
"Bolo na, agar maine kiya toh tum kya kar loge?"
"Mein kya karunga aur kyun karunga?"
And as they walked towards the counter, Ishita smiled, pushed a stray strand behind her ear and linked her arms to Raman's as she leaned onto him for support.
"Two feet ka distance. Pata hai mein bahut hot hoon and tum mujhe marti ho. Aur sabko yeh bhi pata hai mere sar pe zindagi bhar iss chudail ka saaya hai. Koi paas bhi nahi ayegi. Ab toh haq jamana band karo."
"Kyun puttar ko dar lag raha?"
"Amma agar humare kamre mein alcohol ki bottle jab dekhte, she starts detoxifying the whole house. Agar tumhari Amma ko tumhare aadhe kartoot pata chale toh mera chood, think about you. Mujhe apne liye nahi, tumhare liye dar lag raha hai."
Ishita rolled her eyes.
"Bolo na, kya kar loge?"
"Mein kya kar lunga? Mauke ka faida utha lunga."
"Kinky. I like it."
"Great. Either I married a pervert or I'm creating a monster,"
"The latter? And admit it, you love me, mein hoon hi itni adorable.."
"Haan, aur sanki hi ho. Tumhare dimag mein yeh jo faaltu ke chuhe daud rahe hai na, wo mere ab pait mein daud rahe hai. Jaldi karo yaar."
"Ruhi ne khana kha liya?"
"Tum pehle kha lo, mein Ruhi ka dekh lunga."
"Ruhi ke liye order something. Preferably non veg."
"Kyun?"
"Kyunki Ruhi tumhari beti hai. Ruhi ko non veg ki aadat hai. And for the past three days she's eating everything veg. She's a kid, she'll throw a tantrum sooner or later. Better to be prepared."
"I'm not handling this."
"Oh, yes you are."
"We get to anything and you don't say a thing. Okay?"
"Depends."
"That isn't fair."
"It isn't fair that I get to do all the discipline and you get the fun times either. But it still happens."
"You're evil."
Ishita smirked.
Bade Achhe Lagte Hain
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