ISHRA OS
***
For about one full minute Raman stood dumbfounded inside the empty guest room, before he lifted his hand and rubbed his neck in a typical gesture denoting his denial and disappointment, as if trying to negate the possibility of the inevitable.
Did his fears really come to see the light of the day ?
Was it true that whatever he had been thinking or actually dreading to happen, had happened ?
It seemed so.
Shagun and Adi were not in the guest room. The bed was nicely made and the room was clean with no sign of the inmates. His heart stopped beating for a moment but regained speed with a vengeance when he turned back to rush outside as a dry leaf overturned by a tornado that just hit it.
"Ishita... Ishita !!"
He called, at first, in a husky, rough tone and then he found himself shouting at the top of his voice, while rushing towards the kitchen , looking all around the house, for Shagun and Adi, with not even a single corner being left unscanned by his sharp observant eye.
He had no idea why for every little thing he had to call Ishita, but that was exactly the way he had become and he was not complaining. He had accepted, though inwardly, that she had slowly and subtly grown as an answer to every little question his heart raised.
He found her before the kitchen platform, turning the perfectly spread round dosa on the tawa.
"Ishita, kab se tumhe bula raha hu aur tum ho ki..." He stopped midway, not knowing how exactly he wanted to frame the last part of his sentence.
She smiled.
Her signature smile !
Her heartwarmimg, radiant smile, illuminating and sparkling her eyes, that had the power to lit a thousand neon lamps at one go. He thought.
And he immediately corrected himself that he needed to refrain from talking to himself about her in this particular way. Especially, when he was serious !!!
"Ishita !!"
He raised his tone. He had to ! Otherwise how would he demand her undivided attention. How would he stop himself from melting before her.
She was magic and he was enchanted. Her smile was troubling him, her half-wet hair dripping water droplets over her shoulders, soaking her white silk blouse, were too distracting. Her pallu, the red bordered one, tucked in her waist after going a full round around her was so inviting that he almost forgot what brought him before her in the kitchen. How could she be so serene, so calm when he was a walking turmoil at the moment and remained so since so many days. He hated that he couldn't take things so easily in his stride as she did.
"Kya hua Raman ?" She asked softly with a nod of her chin lifted up.
"Adi...woh Adi apne kamre mein nahi hai ! Kahin dekha tumne usey ?" He muttered under his breath, coming to the point.
"Nahi !! Maine toh usey subah se nahi dekha. Yahi kahin hoga !" She stayed calm while she turned the dosa flaps to complete the act and lifted it to be placed in a tray.
"Arrey kahi nahi hai woh !" He was shouting now, with both his hands supporting the gesture of confusion.
"Nahi hai matlab ?" Toshiji entered the kitchen and asked to be included in the discussion, "Arey puttar, kahan jayega subah subah ? Dekh zara, Ruhi ke saath hoga."
"Sara ghar dekh liya ma. Woh ghar mein nahi hai. Puchiye apni bahu se ! Puchiye..." He looked in her direction, "Na Adi hai apne kamre mein, na hi Shagun hai... dono ka saamaan bhi nahi hai !!"
Ishita frownead at this, "Saamaan bhi nahi hai ? Aisey kaisey ?"
"Kaisey kya ? Dhyaan toh rahta nahi tumhara ghar mein. Saara din bas yeh idli aur dosa banati rahti ho." He pointed towards her preparation.
Even he had no idea what rubbish was he talking and why. Sure, he was upset about Adi missing from Bhalla house, though he didn't care an ounce about Shagun, but why was he shouting at Ishita was inexplicable, even to him. Ishita, didn't like it. She was visibly upset.
"Kya Raman ? Kuch bhi ?"
"Arey kuch bhi' kya ? Ek bacche ka dhyan nahi rakh sakti, kitni laaparwaah' ho tum ?"
Laaparwaah !!! Did he just say that ??
Careless !!!???Is it ???
The word Baanjh' hurled at her by some uncultured females didn't hurt her as much as the word laaparwaah' ( Careless) thrown at her face by her own husband. She bit her lip and stopped the brimming tears right where they were, at the corner of her eye. For a moment, she didn't speak anything, just looked at him without a blink. He didn't look at her eyes.
He avoided her, avoided from speaking more for he knew that he had bit more than he could chew.
But words being words, cannot be taken back. He was crazy worried about his son and he wanted Ishita to be with him at this hour. He wanted to share with her about how miserable he always became when it came to Adi's safety and well being and how he knew that her caring attitude needed no certificate. He knew, in fact, everyone knew that she wasn't careless, not the least, not even in her weirdest dreams, she could be one. But he had no courage to say this as the damage was already done. He had gone ahead and once again spoke exactly the opposite of what he had actually meant.
He fidgeted with his phone in an attempt to show that he was trying to call someone and walked towards one corner of the room, trying to avoid howling Toshiji about her lost ghar ka chirag' !
Ishita consoled Toshiji, made her sit and offered a glass of water while telling her not to worry, "Mummyji, chinta mat kariye. Aa jayega Adi ! Shagun hai na uske saath !"
"Hayye mera baccha !!" Toshiji sulked while sipping from the glass of water.
Ishita rose from the sofa allowing Bhallaji to take care of Toshiji and slowly slipped away towards her room
****
"Papa aapse bahut pyaar karte hai beta ! Aap dekhna, kaise papa daude chale aayenge aapko aur mumma ko ghar le jaane ke liye!"
An over - confident Shagun smiled as she spoon fed more venomous thoughts in Adi's already polluted mind.
"Lekin mom, hum yahan kyu aaye hain, ghar chorhkar ?" Adi looked around the first class waiting lounge at the New Delhi railway station.
"Beta, papa ko ek jhatka dena jaroori tha. Unhe yeh batana jaroori tha ki unki zindagi mein tumhaari... aur meri... kya jagah honi chahiye."
Her smile, her poise, her way of talking while munching each and every word carefully had a full impact on her son. He almost idol-worshipped her and she knew that he was the only source left for her to bring her wrecked life on track.
She was well aware that she was using her son but with no options left, she didn't mind taking this route as well. Afterall, she believed that she was doing it for her kids' future, their security and to give them a complete, happy family... Or that is how she fooled herself !!!
"Lekin kya aapko lagta hai ki papa aayenge ?"
"Aayenge ?" She laughed dramatically and then slowly hissed,"Yeh kaisa sawaal hai, beta ? Na sirf woh yahan aayenge balki humse maafi bhi maangege, phir kabhi humein dur nahi jaane dene ki kasam bhi khayenge... you just wait ! And watch !!" She clicked her fingers with a typical lift of the brow and an evil smile.
Thinking to herself...
Lekin main bhi itni aasani se Raman ko maaf nahi karungi. Use choose karna padega... Ishita ko ya Adi ko... Usey who behenji ke saath rahna hai ya apni family ke saath...'
****
"Ishima, Adi bhaiya kahan gaye ?" Little Ruhi was concerned with the growing confusion and commotion in the house.
Thankfully, Ishima was calm and composed. She kept tying the knots in Ruhi's hair and as always, her angel mother smiled and relieved her, "Adi Bhaiya ghumne gaye hai, Shagun mumma ke saath."
"Toh kya woh mere school ke Family Fest' mein nahi aayenge ?" Her innocent mind had so many questions. Raman entered the room with heavy steps when he heard those words.
"Oh God ! Sh** !!! How could I forget Ruhi's school function. It is today !!!"
In the mean time, Ruhi spotted him and came running towards him, stopping him at the entrance itself, "Papa, aap mere school function mein aayenge naa ???"
Raman knelt down to match the little doll's height and held her tiny shoulders. As she touches his stubble on his cheek, his eyes smile.
He began to speak, slowly "Woh beta..." about to come up with a good excuse, he smiles sheepishly. Ishita steps ahead and steals Ruhi away, "Papa jaroor aayenge beta. Aur Ishima bhi aayegi...pahle aap jaldi jaldi breakfast kar lo. Maine dosa banaya aapke liye."
The little girl's face lits up, "yaaayyy !" she runs outside, leaving Raman and Ishita inside the room.
Raman gets up from his kneeling position and once again, unknowingly, unwittingly targets Ishita.
"Kyu choti si bacchi se jhooth bolti ho ?"
"Maine koi jhooth nahi bola hai." She defends herself and turns around to pick up stray clothes lying on the bed, muttering simultaneously, "aapko pahle hi bata diya tha ki aaj school fest hai... family fest'..."
The last part is stretched on !!
"Fest ?? School fest ??...Tumhe dikhai nahi deta ki main kitna pareshaan hu..." Raman almost lost his cool. Was this lady mad, he wondered. Never before this, she had appeared so insensitive to him.
"Dikhai deta hai Raman !!" She spoke in a deliberate tone and turned around to face him, eye to eye. She needed to set some things straight, especially now, when it was going beyond the level of sanity, for her and for everyone else, "Magar aapko kyu nahi dikhai deta?"
"Kya ?? Kya kahna chahti ho tum ? Aur, kya dikhana chahti ho ?"
"Raman, main Adi ki aaya nahi hu ! I am not his governess." The defiant tone was new to him. Ishita had never spoke in this tone. In fact, she was the one who had been really nice to Adi while he adjusted in their house, she brought Adi and Shagun in their home to live, she had been careful not to hurt Adi and had been trying her best to befriend him, be good to him and step closer to him. But today, it seemed She had had enough of it !!
Ishita had been in trouble because of Adi for more number of times than he had ever imagined. She was now maintaining a distance from him, then why on earth he had blamed Ishita, of all people in his house, for Adi's absence. She was not a paid nurse or a governess who would take every insult lying down and still run around his kid, whom he knew very well as a serious trouble maker.
Ishita continued, "Main Adi ki dekhbhal mein aapke saath hu, magar aap Ruhi ke liye mere saath kabhi bhi kyu nahi hai ?? Main Adi ko samajhne ki koshish kar rahi hu lekin agar isse Ruhi affect hoti hai toh mujhe thoda sa peeche rahkar aapko support karna hoga. Adi ko mera nahi, Shagun ka saath chahiye. Agar aapko Adi ki chinta hai toh mujhe Ruhi ki hai. Ruhi ke function ki taiyaari bahut din se ho rahi hai aur main uska fest spoil nahi hone dungi Shagun ke silly decisions ki wajah se."
"Shagun ke ???"
"Raman, wake up !! Adi akela nahi gaya hai ! Shagun hai uske sath, wahan. Aur Shagun koi choti bacchi nahi hai. Woh uski maa hai."
"Toh ?"
"Toh achanak gayab ho jana kahan ki samajhdaari hai? Ho sakta hai ki yeh bhi Shagun ke kisi plan ka koi act ho magar ek baat yaad rakhiyega... main Ruhi ko kisi tamashe...kisi game plan...aur kisi ghatiya harkat ka hissa nahi banne dungi."
"Tum nahi chalogi Adi ko dhoondhne mere saath ?" For the first time, he was not fighting or arguing after her lecture. He sounded weak...and adorable to her...
She mellowed down, holding his cheek in her palm, "Nahi !! Pichli baar hum laaye they na unhe ? Is baar nahi...Koi fayda nahi hai, Raman...aapko jana hai toh aap jaiye...mein Ru ke school jaungi..."
Her straightforwardness almost shook him. But it wasn't only her tone. It was the content and substance that brought goosebumps on his arms. This was the mother of their daughter talking who couldn't care-less... !!!
Neither him nor Ruhi's biological disaster Shagun had been thinking about Ruhi.
He took a deep breath and sat on the bed watching Ishita turn away to pick out a change of sari for herself. He felt weak, helpless and lost... but more than all that... he felt torn apart...between two ends... Ishita and Ruhi on one end... Shagun and Adi on another !!!
...
Please let me know if it is worth the effort...
Anupamaa
Current Affairs
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