Not Proof-Read.
- Nora Roberts, Vision in White.
Even sleeping in the familiar settings is not comforting to her.She is at her mother's place in her old bedroom and with no one in the house she is tossing and turning on the bed.She knew nothing major has transpired, but everything from the time she brought Shagun home began playing in her head and she is unable to get it out.God,please save me form my own thoughts.
'Shagun parading in blue sarees all the time at home.Reminiscing one incident or other of their marriage, ever so casually of how Raman used to do that & this or how he used to be so eager to obey every word that comes out of her mouth and lately projecting them as a family with her being an outsider',kept turning in her head. "Ishita, you know Raman please stop torturing yourself", She kept chiding herself.
But again, what about what I saw today. She was late from clinic and she kept rushing home.As she opened the door she saw Shagun , Raman , Adi & Ruhi around the dinning table chatting with each other about the chicken dish Shagun made and Ruhi was saying" Shagun mama, the food is tasty" and Shagun's smirk as she saw her there. Even Raman's happy face on seeing her couldn't erase that incident from her brain. She quickly changed and by that time Ruhi was asleep, she made excuses that amma asked her to do some work at home and so she need to sleep there and made an escape and here she was from the past hour unable to sleep.
She searched for water bottle and not finding it near, went and got it form the fridge and after swallowing a few sips, she again tried to sleep.But this time her mother's words echoed . "How can you bring Shagun to your home.She is your husband's ex-wife. He loved her.They have two children". And then Mummyji saying "Ishita please don't mind me saying this but adi is not comfortable with you being here".
With tears rolling out she thought why is that everytime I try to do the right thing it hurts me more.Iam not as great or solemn as people perceive me, I am just a selfish woman. I only wanted Raman to have his son back because only in his happiness lies my happiness. But now Iam not sure of anything.
She heard the door open and she quickly wiped her tears and pretended to sleep.Raman came near her and after staring her for few seconds started lying down beside her.He slowly came around and started cocooning her. The tears she tried hard to suppress began slipping away. He slowly wiped her tears and started speaking.Ruhi was asking for you and she only started to eat when I insisted that its becoming late.
I know I was selfish when I allowed u to make that decision for me and I was even glad that I was not asked for an opinion, but not anymore.I realized what I have now with Adi is not a lasting solution and I need to think more permanently for the sake of both him & me.First thing in the morning ,we are choosing a house for Adi and Shagun and we are shifting then there tomorrow itself. And since Shagun understands bargaining, I will make an offer to her to make Adi visit us every evening after school and at weekends he can come and stays with us.
He slowly gathered her close and whispered in her ear, I really hated all her blue sarees.And the way she described all those incidents must be her wild imagination because I don't recall them in the same way.And please remember nothing which gives you pain , can give me pleasure.She turned and hugged him back more fiercely and with a kiss to his heart and a whispered thank you closed her eyes.
Shiv Shakti
10