HUMEIN TUMSE PYAAR KITNA ..YEH HUM NAHI JAANTE ...

His house of cards were falling like pins to the needle ... all around him chaos reigned supreme ... allegations flew likes bees to honey ... His wife stood alone bearing the brunt of allegations ... her head held high amidst the heinous accusations & insults being heaped on her ...

Then she was pulled out of his house ... his life ... when she turned & looked at him ... her BIG ROUND eyes filled with tears ... Her eyes pleading him to stop her .. her eyes entreating him to step up & claim ... That day he did not stand up .. nor did he claim .. her mother took her away .. his mother closed the door ...

That day was the last day of ... SIRF RUHI KE LIYE ...

The next day ... she asked the paper guy to start delivering her set of papers to her maternal home ... while he stood there looking at her ...

The next moment ... he took his daughter .. in front of his gaping mother, sister & father and walked across to her house ... He left his daughter to her care ... in the care of the MOTHER ... There was no need for words after that ... HE TRUSTED HER ... what he could not speak the night before & earlier . he clearly articulated then ... I AM WITH YOU ...

He proved her innocence in front of all ... & then bowed his head in abject apology & brought her back to her home ... The face which left his house had tears over flowing from them ... but the face which came back ... had smiles wreathed on it ... he had proved then that she was HIS WIFE ... but whats more .. he had proved that day HE WAS HER HUSBAND .. the OTHER HALF OF THE WHOLE

That day as they stood in the window of her youth ... they began their love story .. amidst a blushing countenance ... they looked at each other smiled & blushed ... no words of any meaning being exchanged between the two .. just a smile & a blush ... the first date ... in the bedroom of her youth

From that day onwards ... Ruhi was not needed to fight a battle anymore ... they had found each other in the rubble of disaster ... They from this day forth would fight each others battle

That's day the love story of Raman & Ishita started

Nahin Chodunga .. Biwi ho tum meri ...

Time & Time again .. he reiterated to her .. Biwi ho tum meri ... When one day amidst a whole lot of fun & hilarity ... she claimed ... MERE HUSBAND

But as she said that confusion was standing right at their doorstep ... his past was brought to her face .. a past which she supposedly had no clue about .. she lost her calm look .. she was annoyed miffed irritated frustrated ... She stopped talking to him ... it derailed her completely ...

When it was revealed to her ... that the PAST had no place in his heart .. in his mind .. he had moved on ... that day she claimed the MAN ... Aap mere Raman ho gaye ho ...

He was angry , irritated, miffed , frustrated .. he retreated behind the shell of taunts ... coz the taunt was on him .. the man .. the husband ...

Suddenly the relation which was running smoothly .. was under threat .. Questions regarding their relation status bombarded both their minds & hearts. In their own way each claimed the other ... but this time it was not enuf to hold hands .. it was not enuf to call the other the SPOUSE ... it was not enuf ...

It was not enuf to speak from behind the VEIL ...

The Veils of ishita & Raman ...

He ...

"Sona .. woh ek pari hai .. she is unbelievably pretty .. "

"Ladkiyon ka kya hai .. who apni feelings pehchanti nahi hai .. par jab koi aur ladki aati hai .. toh unhe lagta hai .. yaar mein to iss ladke se pyaar karti hoon"

She ...

I know humara rishta Sirf ruhi ke liye hai ... I am impressed by you .. aapki baaton ne mera dil choo liya ... Raman toh ab bhi Shagun se pyaar karte hai

They married .. they fell in love ... but they maintained their veils ... he hid behind his barbs .. she hid behind Ruhi & Shagun ... Both unwilling to be the first one to LET GO ...

When one day .. he challenged her ... "ek din tum khud woh baat mujhse kahogi" ... brave words from Raman Kumar Bhalla ... At that moment of time .. his wife did not refute ... She simply said .. "DEKHTE HAI" .. challenge accepted ...

Subconsciously both were challenging the other ... but not challenging on being the first to speak their heart .. but challenging on who WOULD OUTLAST THE OTHER ... The scare .. the worry steeped deep in their hearts .. a fear of REJECTION ruled every part of their being .. it was safer to be LOVED .. than OPENLY LOVE ...

CUT TO Present time ...

While they worshiped the lord .. he held her hand .. it was his right as her husband ... While they did aarti at her place .. he held her hand ... it was his right .. it was his claim ...

But still he asked her ... humara rishta hai hi kya .. MAINU KI

While she was being flirted with & teased with she kept her smile serene ..but very firmly let all & sundry know .. she WAS NOT AVALIABLE ... She was RAMAN's .. RAMAN's wife .. she even reprimanded her dear friend for trying to impinge on COPYRIGHT ISSUES ...

But she still asked him .. aapko kya farak padta hai .. TAINU KI ...

Raman Kumar Bhalla ... the man .. who was brutally rejected .. a man who made his love his life .. had to have that love rubbed in his face ... not just by his ex wife ... but also by his son .. a son for whom he lived .. breathed .. his very existence ...

That son rejected his love unequivocally & walked away from him .. the wounds of that past hurt .. were too deep ... This man became succeeded beyond his thots ... he also was successful in forging a new life with a new wife ... but he came face to face with his rejection every time he saw his ex wife & his son ...

Then one day ...

Ruhi asks him ... Who is her fav person in the world ...

He says - ISHIMAA .. Ruhi says No

He says - MUTHU ... Ruhi says NO

She tells him buck up.. or for this u will loose ... But he gives up ...

DID Raman not know who was her fav person .. a father who knew every small detail of his daughter did not know who she loved most ... ofcourse he knew ... but even to his little daughter .. this rejected man could not admit ... could not speak his name .. LEST HE FACED REJECTION ...

That's how deep this man suffers from fear of REJECTION ...

It took ... Ruhi to step forward & articulate what he already knew ... he was the MOST FAV PERSON OF RUHI's ... he was healed of a rejection ... a rejection of a child for whom he could never measure up ...

A father who was never MOST IMP or MOST FAV person that day healed .. he came FIRST .. in the mind of Raman Kumar Bhalla .. he TRULY WON THAT DAY ... Ruhi;s custody or ruhi's speech or Ruhi'sDNA test could not do ... what this did ... it brought back to life ... NERDY RAMAN BHALLA .. the boy who was REJECTED

Is it any wonder .. after each acceptance of Ruhi ...after each dislay of unconditional love from Ruhi .. Raman has opened up about his REAL FEELINGS to his wife ... Cause each time he gets UNCONDITIONAL LOVE .. each time he is ACCEPTED .. Nerdy raman peeps out ... & ASKS FOR LOVE ... & GIVES LOVE ...

Its this confused mix of a man who today stands at the precipice of love ... he knows his wife loves him ... he who is intimately aware of an all encompassing love ... knows his wife feels the same for him ... but what is even more interesting is .. he feels the same for his wife ...

This is the man who asks his wife to word the words ... but even while he pressures her to reveal her heart .. even while he wants to hear the words .. even while he is suffering in abject frustration ... He stops himself from wording the words ...

He asked her ... humara rishta hai hi kya ? asked her the question .. are v ONE ? but could not answer her ... That day in the coffee shop there were two people who gave a name to this relation ... SIRF RUHI KE LIYE ... then why ask the question to only one partner ... Why not answer the question .. or rather why ask the question at all ... why bring up or rather open a bigger can of worms .. called INTIMACY ...

He needs all the weapons he has .. to hide behind his veil .. a veil which is quickly being blown to the smithereens ... if he does not get the answer to love .. he asks about relation ..intimacy .. some drop which will give his restless heart the solace ... she was HIS ...

The upcoming precap .. will turn the track subtly around ... Raman Kumar Bhalla will face a fear bigger than what he has ever faced ... would this fear make him come out of his shell .. or will he retreat further behind another shell or veil .. MY MONEY IS ON .. COMING OUT OF THE SHELL ...

Pointers to the new track ...

• So bala who was hiding something ... has a new very happy & rich student .. who gifts bala designer shirts
• Bala's weird behavior was once again caught on by Raman Bhalla .. who even that day at dinner Raman caught on to it ..Raman Bhalla's antennas are clearly out
• Ashok's getting deadlier .. far from irritation at the rebuffing of his advances .. the thrill of the chase is keeping Mr. Khanna even more panting at Mihika's doorstep
• Mihika managed to record Blondie Shirley's talk about Darling Ashok Sir & vampy Shaggy
• Mihika's same phone had a coffee bath as well
• The strain of hiding things from Mihir is taking its toll on Mihika
• Surprisingly .. a strain of keeping things from Raman ... is also taking a toll of Ishita ...
• Mani is soon becoming a fixture to the scene
• Romi is still miles away from any maturity
• Raman ... is falling deeper & deeper in love ... its becoming very difficult for him to hide his feelings ... his eyes reveal all that he is trying his best to hide ..
• Raman is becoming more & more demanding of Ishita's attention ..
• Suraj ... another plan of his is down the drain ... interestingly .. his dislike of Shaggy is once again mirrored by his fast growing dislike of MIHIKA

"Insensitive hoon, khadoos hoon. Toh yeh sab to karunga."

"Jo bhi hai, kum se kum mujhe mera kuch kuch hota hai moment toh mil gaya."

"Sorry?"

"Kuch nahi."

"Nahi, nahi kya bola?"

"Kuch nahi."

"Aur suno."

"Hmm.."

"Ab is moment ka dhindhora saare seher mein mat peet dena.

Kuch moments aapas mein hi achhe lagte hai."

One of my most fav scenes, one of the most amazing convos of this couple so far...

I had to begin my reply for this post today with this conversation Ruby...don't know why but the moment I read this post last night this scene just came to my mind like the song came to yours... sometimes you really can't explain why a particular thing strikes a chord with you the way it did/does.

But this convo just seems to encompass so much for me... a man retorts to his wife' accusations with the first line when she says he was putting the blame on her, a wrongful one...he says what do you expect of me - I am insensitive, khadoos... of course I am bound to do so... didnt you say these words about me? Then why are you surprised? What exactly makes this news to you?

And if you are surprised then what is the reason for that?

She chooses to not delve deeper into the conversation, ignoring the subtext still high from the one moment of euphoria her heart experienced - her kuch kuch hota hai moment with her husband. She begins the reply with jo bhi hai - whatever you are like...whatever it is I found my kuch kuch hota hai moment - I found love with you in that moment. A love that is reciprocated, a love that is as much wanted and appreciated by you as it is by me... I found hope in our marriage, in you, in us.

He hears it, of course he does... but wants to hear it again...not to make sure of what he heard, but to have that moment where he was sure her heart skipped a beat too, like his did, that he wasn't alone in the moment - that this moment they shared belonged to the two of them as much and asks her to repeat herself; but she denies, she shies away,she hides her face but he says the words that he does next "Ab is moment ka dhindhora saare seher mein mat peet dena.

Kuch moments aapas mein hi achhe lagte hai."

The man who is labeled as insensitive and khadoos asks his wife to NOT share the moment with anyone...he shows his sensitivity, shows he cares...shows how very much it meant to him THAT moment with her with the one order/request...don't share - cos he doesnt want to share that memory with anyone else, he doesn't even want anyone else knowing about it - its only for them and them alone. Not just because it is their first OPENLY romantic moment - but because it is theirs. She admitted it with a slip of tongue, he admitted it with subtext - they had a kuch kuch hota hai moment.

Take this moment and trace it to the balcony scene where she is pouring her heart out to her sister or so she thinks... she almost admits to loving him and he goads her, challenges her then in the car in another private moment - I heard you and later with one day you would come to me to say this yourself.

She accepts the words in a manner of challenge but also, ALSO hope...he has conviction written on his face, she has hope and trepidation at the same time.

His conviction comes from knowing she loves him for sure...her trepidation comes from the fear of rejection that her heart isn't willing to give up yet even when a corner of it is filled with hope the same hope that makes her have that small smile on her face - she is willing to lose, she WANTS to lose...but only if she knows he is there with her without the shot of a doubt...when she is sure he won't back out of his words this time around. She wants to know she isn't the only one loosing her heart here...and he wants to just know she has lost her heart to him.

And it came down to a standstill, a stalemate.

Only for things to take a drastic turn with an advent.

A couple that was finally taking baby steps towards each other unwittingly find themselves miles off the course or so it seems...what does this advent do?

This advent who comes across as perfection personified rattles the man who was just beginning to get the security, find at last some solace ...this man who was healing found somehow himself being pulled back in the same place he found himself years ago...why? Because he came across the word LOVE written on a piece of paper that came with a gift for his wife from another man...this man who he assumed was someone like his former self for sometime didn't seem like a threat to him, didn't seem like an adversary to him - why because he knew nerds loose. Nerds always lose...only to come face to face with the real thing and finding himself short (pun intended :P) on all levels there are in front of this man.

What really riles him up this man knows things about his wife he DOESN'T, he openly can express things to his wife, say things to his wife - he CAN'T as of yet.

What is his first instinct to mark his territory, to lay his claim...he does that sans any words with his actions, his body language that speaks LOUD AND CLEAR - She is mine.

He starts questioning then - tumhara mera kaunsa rishta hai? - knowing he can kick up a storm with this move BUT his restless mind, his rattled self can care less about that cos he wants that storm - he wants that downpour that can wash away the grime settled between them and clear all things so that they can finally make that start..he is pressing for it...but again, again he backtracks not because he is scared, but because he wants a clear cut answer from her which she doesn't give to which he makes a retort - meinu ki? and she questions him - tenu ki?

She replies to him in his own language - I see through you, I know what you want to hear but you can't win this easy, you won't - dekhte hai.

But yes she does make a statement - a reply - You have known me for so long now but you neverunderstand me.

This when he sees another man who time and again shows him how many things about his wife he is unaware of - ranging from her customs to her likes... She who is moulding herself to his family, his customs, who is being everything he ever wanted and hoped for in his wife somehow asks him - do you know me as much as you should?

So what does this man start to do next - he starts out to prove he knows her, he tries to learn about her, her customs ...just so that she knows he cares, he also is invested in her, in them as much as she is if not more.

But what would really do the trick here?

None of the above - cause the only way to do this is to surrender - his shadow had said wise words to him when it came to business a few days back - there should be no ego ...those words they hold truer for a relationship, for love above all. And that can happen only when Happy emerges - the man who knew how to love, how to care without any ego or pride...who wasn't afraid of wearing his heart on his sleeve for whom love is all encompassing...and what can bring forth Happy - not jealousy or hatred or any other puny emotion...what can do the trick is only one thing - FEAR...the fear that the one he loves might be lost to him - loss which can happen in any number of ways and not just to a stranger, that she may not see through him unless and until he reveals himself...

Unless he shows he cares, he knows all there is to know about her... a father couldn't answer a question, not because he didn't know the answer but because he did but wanted that validation from his daughter - BUT he had to give a test nonetheless, he had to let her take a peek into his heart and know how much she means to him...for to love is to surrender, he gave up in the end not because he was powerless or defenceless but because love cannot be won by ego or pride or by fear nor can it be asked or demanded off... it can be won only with love...a love which has to reveal itself to receive it in return too - the oldest and the most primitive barter system in the world also begins with the word - give and ends with take, after all.