OS: Cannot Lose You

As she entered she saw Param from the corner of her eye, but ignored him like always. She went into the kitchen as though everything was normal. Just as her hands reached for the saucepan, she felt his presence behind her. Her skin prickled with goosebumps as her blood curled. Ishita fought to contain her tears. Think he is Raman, just think that he is Raman. It was the best she could do, and her most sincere attempt at distracting herself.She wanted Raman near her more than ever. She wished he were close to her. She wished it was his body that stood behind her. She yearned for his warmth, and the fluttering feeling she got when he was this close. She closed her eyes slightly and thought of him. He was her safety net. Nothing would happen to her. She instantly felt a sense of comfort. It was still baffling to her how this man whom she detested not months ago, had come to be her source of relief, peace, had come to be her home. She turned around and saw him smirk sadistically, as though he had won. Her eyes must have reflected her shock, because he broke into a grin.

"Param stay away from me" she warned him in vain. He only inched closer to her. She pushed him out of the way and ran to the ledge by the hallway where she had placed her phone, ready to call Raman. As Param closed in on her she turned her back to it, and placed her finger on the call button. She could have easily kicked this idiot in the groin and run. But for the sake of her family, she put up with his indecency. Only a few seconds Ishita, then Raman will be here, and it will be over. She flailed her arms, and began to cry, asking him to let her go. All part of the act. He placed his hands over her shoulders and pinned her to the wall.

"I won't let you go today Ishitaji" he said evilly and twisted her wrists, her tears were genuine now.

"PARAM" screamed the voice she wanted to hear the most in that moment. Raman, he was here, like she knew he would be. Param left Ishita and turned in shock, to find an angry Bhalla family, Simmi included. Ishita glad to be out of his dirty clutches took the chance and walked away from him. She went over to Raman, the weight of what had just happened hitting her. She was shaking, and simply stared at him blankly. She had forgotten everything, in that moment she couldn't even remember her own name. Raman looked at her, and instantly pulled her into his chest and wrapped himself around her tightly. She let him. She realized then, that she couldn't imagine her life without this man. She clutched onto him tightly, and drained out Simmi's anger, and her mother in laws taunts. Surprisingly Raman stayed quite throughout everything. He just held her, and if she hadn't known better, she would have thought he was shaking too. Was it possible that she meant to him just as much as he meant to her? She tucked the thought neatly into the the back of her mind, because it didn't matter. Whether he loved her or not, she loved him, and she had faith in it.

After what felt like hours, she released herself from Raman's grasp and looked up at him. He looked down at her intently with bloodshot eyes...he had been crying...or seething with anger...or both. Either way, she had never witnessed the raw emotion before. He took her face in his hands and wiped away her tears, but he didn't smile. What was going on in his mind. The plan had worked, and he was in on it. She was afraid, but what was his reasoning? She had seen him angry, yes. But this was something new. Raman Kumar Bhalla would never stand on the sidelines and watch Param and Simmi's fight. He would be the one to beat him half to death and drag him out of the house, she had seen him do it before. But this, this silence and angst was uncharted territory.

Ishita turned her attention to the scene as the Police arrived to arrest Param. She saw Simmi in tears, and her heart reached out for her. She couldn't even begin to understand what she must be going through. She gently let go of Raman's arms and walked to her. Raman let her go, but did nothing else. He simply walked silently into his room as though the scene had never happened. Ishita turned to Simmi and assured her that she still had her family who would support her and her child. That she would be independent now. Simmi hugged Ishita, and alternated between gratitude and guilt. Sorry, thank you etc.

Once everyone had retreated to their rooms, Ishita checked on Ruhi at her Amma's home, away from the drama, and finally entered hers. Raman was sitting on the bed, unchanged. She had never seen him like this before. Ishita closed the door behind her and walked over to the statue that was her husband. She gently placed her arm on his shoulder, and he looked up startled.

"Raman, what's wrong? Ever since you entered the house you have been like this?" she said softly. But he didn't reply he simply stared at her with unreadable eyes.

"Raman its okay, I'm okay"

"I'm not," he replied his voice shaking. "Ishita, you might be okay with what happened, but I lost my mind when I saw you against the wall. When I saw the look in your eyes when you ran up to me, my world stood still. You were there in front of me physically, but Ishita, my Ishita was nowhere to be found."Ishita's heart fluttered at his brief admittance.

He continued, " you cannot possibly come to understand what that felt like. It was like I had lost you, and someone had taken the breath from my lungs and the stabbed me with a dagger. I had never seen you look so empty, and it was my fault. My family, my past, ME."

"Raman this was not your fault, this was our plan, and it worked," Ishita said a little breathless now.

"I don't care, I should never have let you do that, never have agreed to it. Nothing matters more than you!" He was almost yelling now. "I cannot lose you dammit!"

"Raman..."

"No! Don't justify my actions, don't. You have done enough for me already. Ishita seeing your eyes empty and lifeless like that, left a void in my heart, took away its beating. Your head against my chest, brought life to me again. Knowing that I had you again safe in my arms, let me breathe again. I lost Shagun, I thought I loved her, and maybe I did. Because when I lost her, my heart ached for her. I cried, for days, months, years. When I lost Shagun I lost myself, but today, when I thought I had lost you, I felt like I would lose my life. Everything stopped. I thought I had felt pain for years when Shagun left. But that was nothing compared to what I felt for just a few seconds today. I felt an infinity of agony in just moments. I don't think I would be able to live without you Ishita, there would be nothing in me. If I lose you, I lose my reason to live." He stopped for a second. Her eyes were moist, and her expression reflected his. He inched closer and placed his hands at the nape of her neck. He leaned into her, and breathed in. "I love you,".

Warmth spread through her body as though fire ran through her veins instead of blood. Her mind reeled with joy, as he spoke what it had been whispering to itself for so long. He eyes were moist and a slow smile creeped upon her face. She had never seen her Raavan Kumar so vulnerable before, not in matters concerning her. But here he was in front of her. He had laid his heart out in front of her, with every ounce of trust left in him. His eyes searched hers, waiting for answer he already knew. She leaned into his half embrace and rested her cheek beside his. Her hands reached up around his to pull him closer, and she whispered the response he eagerly awaited in his ear. "I love you too."

Ishra's plan worked and finally the true face of the leech is out..

The way you described Ishu's emotions when Param was advancing towards her, how she wished it was Raman, what he meant to her, the love she has in her heart for Raman.. It was beautiful.. Even Raman's reactions and the raw emotions.. WOW.! 😳