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As i saw her walk past me, I scurried myself towards her to offer her a lift, it was the only gentlemanly thing i could do for my wife after I had demeaned and stooped to levels of abrasiveness.
Not like I had always been a good husband to her, I would always taunt her for her looks,make nasty comments on her clothing, not like they were to be praised anyway, but she was the only one I spoke my heart out to, I didn't have to keep up a facade in front of her, she was the only one i spoke glibly to, strangely enough, she never seemed to mind that, her face always seem to lit up when i commented on her looks, she thought I couldn't see the glint in her eyes, little did she know, that's all I saw.
She wasn't like the other women i'd ever met, she didn't need the praises to be confident about herself, could be because she already knew she was gorgeous or she just acted like she doesn't care,though she'd make some attempts at getting dressed which had left me baffled with her serenity, there was something about the way she dressed, her face showed svelte and a certain level of divine charm,she was graceful yet gorgeous, she wasn't the girl next door, though she pretty much lived next door, I often wondered had i not been forcefully hitched to her, would I ever be able to date her.
But now things had come to a halt, my marriage had again become lifeless,had turned into a sham.The way it had started, no definitely not the way it had started, I was a callous,unperturbed,selfish and the most arrogant human being when i married her but now things had changed, she had brought the change.
Everyone thinks, I am supporting my ex wife because I love her, my life has become a mockery, i was heckled at the court, standing in the witness box, the insidious remarks about my infidelity pricked my heart, I was standing naked, when she came to my rescue, her eyes spoke volumes about her hurt and disbelief, yet she wrapped me up in clothes,saved my honor for the sake of our families and our marriage, She told the lawyer that she still wants to maintain the dignity of our marriage, she wants to fulfill her part in the marriage, which she thinks i failed to keep.
Why doesn't anyone understand my plight? I did all this only for MY ADI, my weakness, It's the blind love of a father, that is making me commit perjury in court, deceiving the trust of my wife, lying to each and every person who cares for me , I am doing all this just to hide my son's brazen act, to protect him from going to jail, Aren't all fathers supposed to do this? then, why am I the one to be blamed the most, they think i'm the one who has chosen Adi over Ishita, I haven't ,I have chosen Adi over myself.I know i have no right to hurt her, but i cant let my son suffer, even if it means hurting her, I somewhere feel that i have more right over Ishita than I have over Adi, I can hurt her, because she is mine, I know that her broken heart has shattered pieces lying everywhere, I feel I can mend these when things are okay for Aditya, but what would I do? If my son is shattered, He loathes me and I know that, He can never like me and i can deal with that, but seeing him in trouble is just unbearable for me. They think I'm partial towards Aditya and I don't care equally for my princess,why don't they understand, A father has two eyes, his two kids, they're equal, the only blatant reason for the unnerving love for my first born is because he is in wrong hands, unlike Ruhi, she is nurtured with utmost love and care and has the best mother in the world, But Adi, he's bereft of the love and has to deal with the spa queen,like me,he has totally fallen into her trap of lies, I just wish when the truth comes in front of his eyes, he's able to take it better than me.
Ishita is not just a part of my life, but she is my life, her incessant lectures are all i yearn to hear these days and all i get is her silence which kills me,I want her to admonish me for my acts,I want her to strangle me and demand the truth, maybe somewhere deep down i know, she will not be harsh towards Aditya , but the father in me is constantly fighting with the husband in me, every time the father wins the battle. I wonder why..
Maybe because she belongs to me, the hurt which she suffers from is invariably ten times lesser than what i go through,i am glad she has the families to support her.
They say you have the right to hurt the people who belong to you , maybe that is why she was the one i chose to hurt, the depth of her pain is not unknown to me, I am not oblivious to every facet of the situation she is enduring, with utmost calmness. I wonder had I been in her place, wouldn't have I walked out long time ago, yet she lingered on for the sake of family or for me ??( I hope)
Maybe there was a better way to deal with this situation, but I cannot blame God for not blessing me with wisdom and maturity, because had that been the case, I would have never met her! She filled the void in Ruhi's life, she came to our rescue like a prince in disguise. Had i been mature enough back then, then Ruhi and I would have left bereft of Ishita. I can't thank my princess enough, if only a father could be partial, I choose to be partial with her. I am indebted to my daughter for life for making me meet my soul mate!
she leaves no stone unturned to amaze me with her greatness, I feel too shallow in front of her, I cant meet her eyes, I want her to admonish me for my act but she chooses to kill me with her silence, she knows me after all! the treatment which she has kept for me is way worse than any other I could think about. I don't know when all this will end but i can only vow to repent all what I've done and demand for her forgiveness till death do us part.
CID
Mannat Har Khushi Paane Ki
Ghum Hai Kisikey Pyaar Meiin
