Aaaniii!!!!!
Sigh!!! The first line itself is enough to bring a smile to our faces!!!!
Her simplicity makes her look divine and resplendent at the same time. Tempting and sacred all at once. - Your description of Ishita was beautiful, and your choice of words is just brilliant!! Who would have thought to describe her this way; an oxymoron of sorts, but perfect to describe Ishita.
Only someone paying as close an attention to her as he is would notice the oddity of her movements. The recurring bout of sickness that makes her stops every few moments. Makes her close her eyes, place a hand on her neck- take a few deep breaths. Then as if, nothing were wrong with her, move on to the next person, the next thing on the list that needs her attention. - We LOVE this!!! First, we love that Raman is noticing her at all, and second, we love that he is watching her so intently, and knows when she isn't right in her space...
Aani!!! What do we even say about the next few lines you write for Raman...his amusement and slight, unintentional, acceptance of the comments that people are making about him and Ishita...his attentive, purposeful gaze that is tinctured with slight caution, weary for the woman who is his wife and of the man who is his brother-in-law...you write his conflict so beautifully and you especially write beautifully about his revulsion at Parmeet's intent!!!
This might be a very small part in your story, but I love that you chose to have Parmeet gawking at Ishita from behind a news paper...it is so symbolic of the coward and disgrace he is, and how he is hiding behind a facade.
My GOODNESSS!!!! WHAAT WAS THAT WEAVE OF WORDS YOU SEW IN THE END???? HAILA!!!!!!!!!!!! If there was any piece of writing that was so painstakingly palpable, it had to be this!!!!!! Aani!!!! You write that scene between Raman and Ishita so so utterly beautifully ( I don't think there has been a more understated comment made before!!! LOL) UFFF!!! Raman and Ishita are gorgeous together...Thank you for allowing us to feel the intensity of that moment they share...what amazing words!!!!
Bravo, maestro!!!! Bravo!!!!! Love love loveddd this!!! I wish I could quote every line that we loved! But that is just impossible! We loved this OS in its entirety! I love that you can give us Raman's perspective, and perhaps, next time, you can give us one with Ishita's perspective? In either case, you really do know these characters well and we would love to read whatever it is you have up your sleeve next!!!
Love,
AnnJan!
Edited by loveabletwinz - 11 years ago
Real Estate
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