Ishita opened the door to Ruhi's room and found, to her surprise, that Ruhi was still fast asleep, secure under the comfort of her blanket. Ishita loved waking Ruhi up in the mornings; Ruhi and she shared a special routine that was unique to them. So she carefully tip-toed to the edge of Ruhi's bed and lifted the blanket so that Ruhi's tiny feet were visible.
Holding one of Ruhi's foot next to her ear and the other foot a few inches in front of her lips, Ishita began speaking into Ruhi's foot as if it was a microphone. Ishita asked in a lighthearted tone,
"Tho Mr. Feet, kya aapko koi khabar hain ki hamari Ruhi bitiya kab uthegi?"
When she did not get a response from Ruhi, Ishita continued to ask in a playful tone
"Mr. Feet, sabse pehle kaun uthega? Ruhi ke haath ya Ruhi ke pair?" she asked, as she playfully ran a finger down Ruhi's hands and feet.
Ruhi shifted in her bed as she felt the feathery softness of her mother's fingers. Ruhi was beginning to wake up slowly and loved this morning routine as much as her mamma did.
"Mr. Feet...Hamari Ruhi tho uth hi nahi rahi hain. Kya kare?" Ishita asked as she raised an eyebrow. She ran her fingers on Ruhi's little belly, tickling her.
"Mujhe lagta hain pehle Ruhi ki tummy uthega" Ishita said as she heard Ruhi begin to giggle.
Ruhi wriggled and tried to slither out of Ishita's grasp and let out an innocent laughter that resounded in her room. Ruhi sprang out from under her blanket and amidst laughter said,
"Main uth gayi mamma!!"
Ishita grabbed Ruhi in a hug and kissed her cheeks a countless times. She pulled Ruhi away from the hug and brushed her hands through Ruhi's hair. As she began to tie Ruhi's hair in a pig tail, Ishita said,
"Mera pyaara bacha uth gaya hain tho jaldi se daanth brush kar ke neeche a jao. Sab aapka intizaar kar rahe hain".
"Main abhi aayi, mamma" Ruhi said, jumped down from her bed and ran to her bathroom to continue her morning routine.
Ishita got up and made Ruhi's bed. She walked over to the window in Ruhi's room and pulled open the curtains. She watched as the golden brown leaves dropped from the tree that stood outside the Bhalla residence. A sense of foreboding overtook Ishita as she watched the leaves fall to the ground, extinguishing and eventually dying.
She shut her eyes and tried to brush away the thoughts that were coming to her mind. Rehaan was still in the hospital. It had been a week since Ishita was discharged and they were still not able to bring Rehaan back home. Ishita and Raman alternated as they went to visit Rehaan at the hospital; while one was by Rehaan's side, the other stayed at home, caring for Ruhi and the family.
Ishita wanted so badly for Rehaan to be home; his cries filling the four walls of their home, his laughter echoing in his room as Ruhi played with him, but with every visit to the hospital, the doctors were giving her a worse prognosis. Despite Rehaan's declining condition, Ishita promised to stay positive. There was no other way! She knew her baby was going to come home, and there was no two ways about that.
Once Ruhi was ready, Ishita picked her up and took her downstairs to have breakfast with the rest of the family. Before Ishita descended down the stairs, she wiped away the tears that had stained her face.
*****
Raman had finished having breakfast when he got up from his place and walked over to the pick his cell phone and wallet from the tea table in the middle of the room. Raman then walked over to Ishita who was still in the kitchen and said,
"Main hospital ho kar aata hoon, Ishita".
Ishita turned to face Raman. She pulled him into a hug and whispered in his ear,
"Apna dhyaan rakhna, Raman. Rehaan se milte hi mujhe call karna".
Raman cupped Ishita's face in his hands and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.
"I will," he said and left the house to go to the hospital but not before giving away the worry and dread that was clearly evident in his weak and drawn eyes.
*****
Raman was standing beside Rehaan who was still on a ventilator and hooked onto machines that were helping him breathe. Raman's heart felt like it was going to implode.
Raman had spoken to Dr. Malhotra as soon as he had arrived at the NICU. Dr. Malhotra had given him the most devastating news he could have possibly received. He had asked Raman to make a choice; one that Raman did not have the courage to make.
Dr. Malhotra had told Raman that Rehaan's lungs were not developing any further, and the baby was not putting on any more weight and was not reacting to any medication or treatment. Rehaan was still not able to breathe on his own, and his prognosis did not look like it was going to improve. Dr. Malhotra told Raman that the chances of Rehaan's survival was minimum, and had asked Raman to consider taking Rehaan off the ventilator and allowing Rehaan to breathe his last breath.
Raman looked at his tiny baby lying in the plexiglass box. He ran a finger through the length of his little baby, pausing to observe Rehaan's tiny fingernails and toenails that looked like little buds. He glanced at his baby's face, and even though Rehaan's face was covered and stretched by tape that was holding all the medical equipments in place, he could tell that Rehaan looked just like his mother. Rehaan had Ishita's almond eyes, her full lips and her sharp nose.
Raman fell on his knees, clutching his heart, his breathing becoming more unstable by the minute. Raman crouched in his position and put his head between his knees. His uncontrollable sobs echoed in the NICU room. Raman was being asked to take his baby off of life support, which meant his baby would not live to see another day.
The very thought of his child passing away caught Raman's breath and the fear began to choke him like thick fog.
How was he going to tell Ishita about this? How would she be able to recover from the loss of their son? How would they move on from this?
Raman sat crouched in the middle of the NICU room, shaking back and forth, hoping, and praying with all his might that there would be another solution.
******
Ishita rushed to the door as she heard the bell ring. She opened the door to see Raman standing at the door, weak and frail. Worry immediately overtook Ishita, but before she could ask him anything, Raman walked past her and slouched himself on the couch.
"Raman, kya baat hain? Aap teek tho hain na? Aapne mujhe hospital se phone kyun nahi kiya," Ishita asked, the anxiety and fear clearly visible in her voice.
Raman put a hand to his forehead and pressed hard. He had not had the courage to tell Ishita about Rehaan's prognosis and did not know if he could ever find the strength.
"Ishita, please mere liye ek cup chai lana" Raman said, hoping to divert the conversation.
Ishita obliged him and quickly brewed up a cup of tea for Raman. When she served him the cup of tea, Raman seemed distracted and restless.
Ishita knelt down in front of Raman, the cup of tea still in her hand. Ishita softened her eyes and lowered her voice when she asked,
"Kya hua hain Raman?" Ishita paused before she asked the next question, worried if she would be prepared to hear the answer.
"Rehaan theek to hain na" she asked.
Raman's muscles tensed at the sound of Rehaan's name. His heart began to pound loudly and he felt the blood drain from his face. He felt so much rage and sadness and in a fit of anger, got up from the sofa and unintentionally pushed the cup of tea from Ishita's hand.
The cup of tea hit the ground and sent a blood curdling echo throughout the house.
"For God sake Ishita!!! Mere paas Rehaan ke ilaava aur bhi problems hain!" Raman shouted!
"Jabse Rehaan paida hua hain, tumhe sirf ussi ki chinta rehti hain. Lekin mera ek business bhi hain!!! Mujhe is parivaar ke saath saath, apne business ka bhi dhyaan rakhna hain! Meri har problem Rehaan se juda hua nahi hota, Ishita!!" Raman roared, his voice reverberating among the four walls.
Raman slammed the front door behind him and quickly ran to his car, afraid that someone would see the tears that threatened to flow from his eyes. He hated himself at the moment. He had not meant to be so rude to Ishita, but he could not bring himself to tell her about Rehaan. Raman had come home expecting to find some time to himself, to think about the decision he had to make, but instead of finding some respite, he was being badgered by question of Rehaan.
Ishita watched as Raman's back receded out the front door. She felt her heart fall to her stomach and her feet remained rooted to the ground she was standing on. She knew something was wrong, something was very, very, wrong!
******
Raman was back in the NICU. He had a decision to make. He allowed himself to be seated and think about the possibility of removing life support for Rehaan. He stood there, watching his baby for the second time that day.
Somewhere in the distance, in a Mandir across from the Bhalla residence, a chime of a bell could be heard. As she removed the slippers she was wearing, and covered her head in a duppatta, Ishita fell to her knees. She closed her eyes as she listened to the chant of a mantra in the background and listened to the ring of the temple bells as a swift breeze blew.
Raman closed his eyes as a sinking feeling overtook him. He was fighting a battle with himself; a battle he knew that would have no victors. When Raman thought he had made up his mind, he proceeded to find a nurse to tell him about his decision. He knew the decision would be devastating for him and his family, especially for Ishita. But Rehaan's condition was not improving, and this was probably the best decision to make; the decision to remove Rehaan from the ventilator.
Ishita pleaded, her eyes streaming with tears, her whole body shaking, and pleaded that her baby boy would be fine. She knew Raman was worried about Rehaan, and although Raman chose to internalize his pain, Ishita knew something was very wrong with their baby boy. So she folded her hands and brought them close to her heart and rested her hands on her chest. She knew that a mother's prayer would not go unanswered, so she sat in the middle of the temple, pleading, begging, to the heavens above that they would be shown some mercy.
Raman had just approached a nurse when he heard a voice behind him calling his name.
"Raman!!!! I am so glad tum yahi ho!" Dr. Malhotra said as he ran towards Raman.
Raman felt his whole body go frail as fear overcame him. He could not bear hearing any more bad news and almost had the urge to turn around and run from Dr. Malhotra, but his feet did not move.
"Raman, mere saath aoge, please?" Dr. Malhotra said with a small smile beaming on his face.
Raman allowed Dr. Malhotra to guide him to their destination. Raman could hear the heavy pounding of his own pulse when he found himself in front of Rehaan's plexiglass box again.
Dr. Malhotra put a hand on Raman's shoulder and pressed down to reassure Raman.
"Raman, main tumhe kaise bataaon? It is like a miracle! In the past hour, Rehaan ke condition mein bohut zyada improvement aya hain" Dr. Malhotra said.
"Rehaan ne aaj, pehli dafa, bina machine ke, apni pehli saans li. All on his own, Raman! Which means that we can still wait to see if his condition improves, and he might be able to finally breathe on his own." Dr. Malhotra said enthusiastically.
Raman could not comprehend the words that Dr. Malhotra was speaking. The words were muffled over the sound of his heavy breath. Raman turned to look at his little boy, and for the first time in the last few weeks, Raman saw a glimmer of hope.
Raman's heart melted when he saw Rehaan shift in his place, and began kicking his legs. Raman let out a small laughter in the middle of his sobs.
"Mubarak ho Raman. Tumhara beta bada ho kar foot ball player banega. He kicks so much," joked Dr. Malhotra.
As Raman and Dr. Malhotra shared a laugh and joy at Rehaan's recuperating condition, in the mandir across the Bhalla residence, Ishita got up from her prayer, finally feeling a peace that she hadn't felt since Rehaan had been born. She listened to the silence that surrounded her, and for the first time, she heaved a sigh of relief.
Chapter 5 - Page 18
Phew!!! That's it for this part, folks!! Please do leave your comments and let me know what you liked, disliked, your suggestions and jho bhi you want to write :D Just to let you all know, there is only one more chapter after this. I will have it up as soon as I can and hope that you all will stay posted till then! LOTS OF LOVE till I see you all again!
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