.:.Manzil.:. MOVED (Read 19) - Page 5

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Morgoth thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#41
I like the way you set up the characters and their regular lives, Suhana. You write AND sing quite well! 😃

Frankly I found Chapter 4 the most interesting because not only does it portray the lighter side of life (getting a kitten/blossoming crushes), but the darker side of it too (Maryam's anger and jealousy/Aisha's unknown problem).
Edited by T. - 18 years ago
SuhanaSafar thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#42

Originally posted by: SpoILed BraT

im the first to review!! yey!!

i love your story more and more everytime i read it... hehe...

great chapter! i feel so bad for maryam tho 😭 and you've really got me
wondering as to what happened to aisha that made her change so much...
please please please tell us soon!! the suspense is killing me...

update! update! update! 😃

Thanks Rashmi! Yeah, I feel bad for Maryam too...but things will get better for her. And about Aisha...I'm really sorry but I can't reveal her secret yet. A lot of other stuff has to happen first. But trust me...you will like the way its revealed. I will update again within a couple days!

Originally posted by: T.

I like the way you set up the characters and their regular lives, Suhana. You write AND sing quite well! 😃

Frankly I found Chapter 4 the most interesting because not only does it portray the lighter side of life (getting a kitten/blossoming crushes), but the darker side of it too (Maryam's anger and jealousy/Aisha's unknown problem).

Awww thanks Tanaz! So glad to see your comments. I agree that in a way Chapter 4 has been the best chapter so far because it portrays the realities of life. In the future I will try to keep this up, but some chapters may be happier than others, just like we have some good days and some bad days. Thanks for reading!

Edited by .:.Suhana.:. - 18 years ago
Adi''s_GirL thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#43

Originally posted by: .:.Suhana.:.


Thanks Rashmi! Yeah, I feel bad for Maryam too...but things will get
better for her. And about Aisha...I'm really sorry but I can't reveal her
secret yet.A lot of other stuff has to happen first. But trust me...you will
like the way its revealed. I will update again within a couple days!




yey! cant wait for ur next update... btw, i can see that u've put up my
husband's sig and avi eh? 😉
Edited by SpoILed BraT - 18 years ago
afreen_786 thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#44
a grt chapter again.
life isnt always da same.
so thia part shows da other shades of life
waiting 4 da next part.
plssss post it soon
SuhanaSafar thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#45

Originally posted by: SpoILed BraT


yey! cant wait for ur next update... btw, i can see that u've put up my
husband's sig and avi eh? 😉

lol, I guess I have. Don't worry I'm not trying to steal him from you. He's too young for me. But I do think he is very cute!

SuhanaSafar thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#46

Chapter 5 is ready earlier than I expected. Just one thing I want to let you know. I mentioned a BART station in the story. BART is the local subway system of the bay area.

Please post your feedback! Thanks.

Chapter 5

Sabah couldn't take it any longer. She knew that the day she had met Imraan, he had fallen in love with her. For the past two weeks, he was making any and every excuse to talk to her and she always caught him looking at her. They spent hours together and talked about everything....well, everything except for what she wanted to talk about. Why couldn't Imraan just tell her how he felt?

It couldn't even be that Sabah wasn't giving him the right signals. She specifically asked him to show her around town, she was always with him, and she had arranged for them to study together, but nothing was working. It was time for Sabah to take initiative. She knew what she wanted and exactly how she was going to get it.

Sabah planned it all out carefully as she got ready that Wednesday morning. As she rode to school sitting in the passenger seat of Imraan's car, she was tempted to talk to him then but decided to be patient. She didn't want to make him nervous in front of everyone.

At the end of calculus class, according to her plan, she asked Imraan if she could borrow his notebook, making the excuse that she was confused about an example problem the teacher had done in class. She promised to return it in the evening. Imraan gave it to her and they left the classroom.

Sabah walked two doors down to her Spanish class and sat down next to her newest friend, Nisha Mehta.

Nisha: Hi Sabah.

Sabah: Hey Nish, what's up?

Nisha: Same old. My life isn't as interesting as yours.

Sabah: What do you mean by that?

Nisha: Well for one thing, I don't have a handsome admirer. Did anything happen this morning?

Sabah rolled her eyes.

Sabah: Not really. Imraan's a really strange guy.

Nisha: If you say so. But don't deny that you're falling in love with him too.

Sabah: Whatever Nish. I don't have time for a guy.

Nisha: Then shouldn't you tell him that. Or will you continue leading him on?

Sabah was saved from answering this question by the booming voice of Mr. Levine asking everyone to take out their homework.

Her next two classes, English and History, were with Imraan. In History, the teacher returned the test they had taken on Monday. Both Sabah and Imraan received perfect scores. Looks like studying together had paid off well.

As they walked to the lunch quad after class, they saw Samira standing there with Carissa and Nisha's younger sister, Anjali. Sabah and Imraan joined them and they began discussing where they should sit.

All of a sudden, someone at the baseball field hit a ball towards them, and Sabah saw it coming right towards Samira's face. Sabah was too far away to do anything. Samira screamed and shielded her face with her hands, and Sabah closed her eyes, expecting to hear the ball hit Samira. She heard a soft thud, but when she opened her eyes, she saw that Samira was fine.

Rehan had come between Samira and the ball and caught it before it could hit her. He threw it back to the guys playing baseball.

Rehan (to the baseball players): Be careful guys. There are a lot of people in the lunch quad right now.

He turned to Samira.

Rehan: Are you okay?

Samira: I'm fine. Tumhaara haath to theek hai? Ball kaafi tezi se aa rahi thi. I'm fine. Is your hand okay? The ball was coming pretty fast.

Rehan examined his hand.

Rehan: Aa to rahi thi, but I'll be fine. It was, but I'll be fine.

Samira: Thanks.

Rehan: Is mein thanks ki kya baat hai? Tumhen chot kaise lagne deta? There's no need to thank me. How could I let you get hurt?

Samira smiled at him. While everyone else had started talking amongst themselves, Sabah watched Rehan and Samira closely and wondered whether there was something going on between them that she wasn't aware of. It was possible, but then again, Rehan was a nice guy and probably would have done that for anyone.

Soon the rest of their group of friends, David, Nisha, Rahul, and Sana joined them and they all began to eat their packed lunches.

The two classes after lunch were uneventful and slow for Sabah. She couldn't wait for school to end. Once again, she didn't say anything to Imraan in the car. Instead, she went home with Rehan and got started on her homework.

She was writing her essay on Crime and Punishment when the home phone rang. Sabah's room was closest to the living room so she went to answer it. It was her brother Yusuf.

Sabah: Hello?

Yusuf: How's it goin', sis?

Sabah: Yusuf Bhai! Main aapko aaj shaam phone karne hi waali thi. Kaise hain aap? Yusuf Bhai! I was planning on calling you in the evening. How are you?

Yusuf: Main to maze mein hoon. Tum apni sunao? I'm doing great. What are you up to?

Sabah: Main bhi theek hoon. Bas aapko bahut miss kar rahi hoon. Ghar kab aa rahe hain? I'm fine too. Just missing you a lot. When are you coming home?

Yusuf: Yehi to bataane ke liye phone kiya tha. Main isi weekend aa raha hoon. Mummy Daddy se kehna ke woh Friday ko kaam se aate waqt mujhe BART station se pick up karlen. That's what I called to tell you. I'm coming back this weekend. Tell Mummy and Daddy to pick me up from the BART station while coming home from work on Friday.

Sabah: Zaroor keh doongi. I'll definitely tell them.

Yusuf: Great. Sabah, abhi mujhe volunteering karne hospital jaana hai. See you on Friday! Great. Sabah, I have to leave to volunteer at the hospital. See you on Friday!

Sabah: Can't wait! Take care, Bhai.

Yusuf: Bye.

Sabah: Bye.

Now Sabah had even more to look forward to. It was going to be an awesome weekend. She decided to finally head over to Imraan's place to return his notebook.

When she knocked on the door, Najma aunty answered it.

Najma: Hello Sabah.

Sabah: Hi Aunty. Aap kaisi hain? Hi Aunty. How are you?

Najma: Achchi Hoon. Tum sunao. I'm doing well. How about you?

Sabah: Theek hoon. Imraan ki ek notebook lautaane aayi hoon. I'm fine. I wanted to return Imraan's notebook.

Najma: Woh apne kamre mein hai. Main use de doongi, ya phir tumhi jaa ke de do. He's in his room. I'll give it to him, or you can go upstairs if you'd like.

Sabah: Main hi de aati hoon. I'll just go and give it.

Sabah walked up the stairs to Imraan's room. Everything was going exactly according to plan. She knocked and Imraan opened the door. His face lit up as soon as he saw her.

Imraan: Hi Sabah! Andar aao. Hi Sabah! Come in.

She went inside and sat on the bed.

Sabah: Yeh lo tumhaari notebook. Here's your notebook.

Imraan: Thanks.

He took it from her and put it on his desk.

Sabah: Mujhe tumse kuch baat karni hai. I wanted to talk to you about something.

Imraan became his nervous self again.

Imraan: Kya baat hai? What is it?

Sabah: Pehle yahaan aake baitho. First come and sit here.

Imraan came and sat next to her. Sabah's heart was pounding, but she knew that she had to complete what she had started.

Sabah: Tum mujhse apne dil ki baat kyoon chhupa rahe ho? Why are you hiding your feelings from me?

Imraan: Kaun si baat? Which feelings?

Sabah: Imraan, tum sab samajhte ho. Tum kayi din se mujhse kuch kehna chaahte ho, lekin pata nahin kyoon nahin kehte. Imraan, you know what I'm talking about. For several days, you've been wanting to tell me something, but I don't know why you haven't been able to.

Imraan: Main….I….

Imraan looked down at his hands. Sabah could tell that he was panicking a little.

Sabah: Sach batao, tumhaare dil mein mere liye kya hai? Tell me the truth. Do you have feelings for me?

Imraan: Sabah, main tumse….main….I love you. Sabah, I am….I….I love you.

Sabah smiled and lowered her gaze. She had been waiting for so long to hear those three words. She could hear Imraan's heavy breathing as he waited for her response. She looked up.

Sabah: I love you too.

She watched as a smile lit up his face.

Imraan: Sach? Really?

Sabah put her hands on Imraan's hands and looked into his eyes.

Sabah: Haan Imraan. Main tumse pyaar karti hoon. Yes, Imraan. I love you.

She put her head on his shoulder and felt his arms slowly enclose around her. After about a minute, she abruptly lifted her head.

Sabah: Mujhe jaana chaahiye. Tumhari mummy jaanti hain ke main yahaan hoon. Aur mere Mummy Papa bhi ghar aate honge. I should go. Your mom knows that I am in your room. And my parents will be home soon.

Imraan: Phir kab milogi. When will I see you again?

Sabah: Kal subah, Imraan. School nahin jaana hai kya? Tomorrow morning, Imraan. Aren't we going to school?

Imraan: Arre haan. Oh yeah.

Imraan smiled embarrassedly.

Sabah: Bye.

She kissed him on the cheek.

Imraan: Bye.

Sabah left his room and said goodbye to Najma aunty on the way out. She was almost skipping as she walked home. Life was perfect.

Edited by .:.Suhana.:. - 17 years ago
Adi''s_GirL thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#47
we both updated almost at the same time... but ur chapter is soooo much
more interesting than what i put up!

all i could say is... awwwwwwwww!!!

he finally told her! well, she made him... but same thing! haha 😳 😳 😳
😳

its such a cute chapter! i love love love it! i could just give you a hug for
finally getting imraan and sabah together! ur the best!! 🤗 🤗
🤗
afreen_786 thumbnail
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Posted: 18 years ago
#48
such a sweet chapter.
finally they expressed their feelings 😳
grt part. 😊
waiting 2 read abt another cute couple 😉
SuhanaSafar thumbnail
18th Anniversary Thumbnail Dazzler Thumbnail + 7
Posted: 18 years ago
#49
Awww, thanks you guys! I enjoyed writing that chapter, but I also found it harder than I had expected to describe a romantic situation. The next chapter will be posted in a few days. 😊
257121 thumbnail
Posted: 18 years ago
#50
yh i agree it is a sweet chap! cant wait till u update!

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