A River Of Emotions Chapter 5 Page 14 - Page 2

Originally posted by: -RuthShalini-

Loved the bounding ❤️
thanks for the pm dear

thanks a lot!

Originally posted by: najma123

Thanks a lot, Kal. Do keep reading. 😛

Sure😃

thanks for the pm.pl continue

very interesting Najma Looking forward for more, 😃

Nice start continue soon & do pm

di amazing bonding of bro sis

It's a good concept. You've started well but it needs a lot of work. You need a beta who can correct your grammar and a pre-reader who can look through plot-holes.

Also, this story would be a lot better in third person POV. It won't take away the snark of the characters, it's probably going to make them more human. There is a pertinent lack of information which reduces the reader's connection to the character.

I'm sorry, I'm brutally honest and I don't know how else to be. You do have a good skeleton and your friend has really good writing skills. I'm hoping my review helps. You can PM me anytime. If I won't get a notification that you replied to the thread, I probably won't know.

-sri

Originally posted by: sri_ffn

It's a good concept. You've started well but it needs a lot of work. You need a beta who can correct your grammar and a pre-reader who can look through plot-holes.

Also, this story would be a lot better in third person POV. It won't take away the snark of the characters, it's probably going to make them more human. There is a pertinent lack of information which reduces the reader's connection to the character.

I'm sorry, I'm brutally honest and I don't know how else to be. You do have a good skeleton and your friend has really good writing skills. I'm hoping my review helps. You can PM me anytime. If I won't get a notification that you replied to the thread, I probably won't know.

-sri

Awesome start dear!! A bit heartbreaking but I loved the bonding between brother and sister!!
Do pm me!!