Posted:
"Sorry" I heard his voice drift across the room. I didn't budge, rather stared deeply into the yellow pages laid out before my eyes. I flipped a page. The words were blurry, or I was in need of sleep.
"Sorry , I'm so so sorry." he mumbled placing himself on the chair across me. I still kept my eyes hooked in the printed letters. I had no intention of letting another word from Sidharth Rajput mess my brain.
"Siyali, I'm really very sorry. I never thought things would turn out that way." The idiot was sorry now, wasn't he. But his sorry would never change the fact that I was warned by my teachers for not being responsible. For the very first time. And it was not something I was proud of.
"I just wanted everyone to have a good time. I never expected Kamini Ma'm to find us." His pleas sounded genuine but I won't loose my resolve in his sweet talk. Not again. Not this time. I callously tossed away another page.
"Siyali do you hear me?" He growled. My eyes never left the book.
"I said Do You Hear Me?" I felt a strong grip on my arms dragging me up firmly. I was too weak to protest. I hadn't eaten anything that night. So I went along with the force. But I still didn't bother to look at him.
"Look at me." He hissed. I sensed his grip getting sterner. A shaft of pain sprouted through my arm, then over my shoulders. I winced.
"Leave Me." I screamed raising my eyes to meet his. I wish I hadn't done that. The painful look on his face was enough to break through my firewall.
"I am sorry. Please let me make it up to you. I will do anything. Anything you say. Just forgive me this once." His words stuttered. I felt myself melt a bit more.
But I decided not to give in. Like last time.
"There is nothing you can do Sidharth. You have done enough" I replied unaffected.
He winced and let go of my arm. I felt like I hurt him, somewhere deep. I never knew I possesed that kind of power with Sidharth Rajput. He seemed different now. Different from the guy who got me on the edge of my tolerance. Seeing him like that wounded me too. More than I thought it would.
He didn't speak. He just stood there. Inches away from me.
"You hate me too don't you?" A tear rushed down his cheeks. I felt my resolve crack.
I could deal with the angry Sidharth, the playboy one and even the serious one. But I didn't know how to be untouched by the desperate Sidharth Rajput.
I took a stepped closer, till my breath fanned against his. I gazed at his face. Into his eyes. He looked lost. For the first time I felt that I stared right through him. I saw scars rooted deep inside. Just like mine. Or more grave.
"Even my mom hates me now. You hate me too don't you?" He murmured. I didn't lose the anguish in his voice.
"No, I don't" I whispered brushing his cheek mildly with my thumb.He shook his head in denial.
"Everyone hates me. You too Siyali" he shut tight his eyes. His forehead was creased.
I raised both my hands and cupped his face. Then rested my forehead against his. He was breathing deep. I had fought the urge to know him ever since we first met. I was always intrigued by him. I wanted to kiss him. He was the only guy I ever wanted to kiss but I locked it up. I never wanted to go that far because if I do I'll end up more miserable than I am right now. But today I had an excuse.Seeing him cry ripped my soul in a way it shouldn't. Just this once would be okay. He will have my first kiss. Sidharth Rajput wasn't going to be my prince charming. He will just be a stop on the way.
I took a heavy breath, then pressed my lips against his. He froze. Then laced his arms around my waist. He responded the kiss with more severity. His hands trailed all the way from my waist to my neck. I was too lost to think. I have always read about kisses. But I never knew how it felt, until now. His fingers brushed against the delicate skin of my neck. I slid my tounge under his. I heard a moan escape his throat. He tore his lips away from mine.
"Siyali, what are you doing to me?" He trembled.
My glance darted across the shelves. I didn't have the bravery to face him again. I turned away from him. Harsh.
"Siyali" He called out. I didn't stop. One more look and I wouldn't be able to go away. So I walked out through the corridor. I know what I did was not right, for me, for him. In every aspect. But I needed to do that. Even though it was a thoughtless thing to do.
Entirely T h o u g h t l e s s.
Channel V Dil Dosti Dance
Arjun
