Suraj... The hug feared me but your anger cheered me!!!
APRIL 25, 2018
I am indeed lost, speechless in after yesterday's episode which I saw very late today.
Did my dude loose this time... Yes last time he lost himself to loosing his memory but this time I am proud of him for loosing himself to his conscience. Yes he felt guilty of everything but was he guilty... No how can he be... but he has been made into it again proves if he submits, he submits completely and takes complete responsibility.
Let me place my honors to MeeJay, they were simply stupendous...
VJ ...have no words to say...if allowed I could hold him as he was indeed in trauma complete trauma... If the man was like a dead one in memory loss, full of life with his family, he was completely shaken, in disbelief completely traumatic yesterday. I indeed wiped my tears silently...
The hug spoke it ... I always say that SuKor's every hug has its own story and yesterday's was just a history by itself. I completely feared his state with that hug... Both were acing it, the hug, the moment she saw him hugged for her safe abode but his hug which used to take her into him was not taking her, he was just assuring that he was fine, he was completely shattered but was gathering her, she was shattered but was sensing that he is shattered,,, broken for he was completely traumatic... I am unable to express in words, the constant shaking of himself, his eyes with tears, not able to believe what has happened, not able not to believe, his shaking voice, his shaking frame, his hands, his eyes and his face unable to focus...asking for Saanvi just to comfort but was breaking... Chakor could realise soon that her rock of Gibraltar is just breaking into pieces, shattering in front of her... she has to gather herself to gather him back.
He was nonstop talking to himself, his brain and his heart is blaming him, chewing him of guilt, and he just hated him when Raksha spoke to him, accusing him of killing her father...
The constant fear of guilt, his eyes with tears, face shocked, more than anything the shattering of the process of the dream project...(I would not say the dream has shattered as the process is temporarily shattered now) his self confidence is lost... he needs his chakor to bind him I was so worried... Am I loosing my dude in this state... Has he lost himself...
Hit after hit... The moment he heard about Paakhi... the way he barged into the OT... I jumped I saw my dude Suraj Rajvanshi... yes the rock is integrating but not shattered Yes I saw HIM the way he just threatened the doctor to treat her right, if anything happens to his naaniamma he will burn down the hospital... YES HIS FIRE, HIS ANGER THERE..IT CHEERED ME I rested for a moment. He has to come out of his trauma, he should stop blaming himself for it is a sabotage and not an accident, so it is NOT his mistake...
Suraj Rajvanshi never shys nor fears to take things upfront... he is not a coward to run away... I loved the way he said hamari dosth, hamari naaniamma, though my little Lilliput call him suraj bhaiya he always calls her dosth and not behun (behun... I have started to hate this word now) and his dosth's life cannot be compromised...Like Chakor said she is a fighter and she will fight back to come to her Suraj Bhaiyaa for sure... as god forbid if anything happens I dread to think...
the scene at home crippled me... He was hesitating to take Saanvi for his hands are tainted, he was completely baffled... he needs Chakor... I with Teju was just calling out Chakor please come back dear... He needs you... he feared more than the guilt, the disappointment that he could not live up to her standards/fulfil her dreams and that Mujrim ka beta Mujrim... those words killed me...NO you are not dude you are the best pearl, the best gem... the best gold unfortunately the pearl is being bitten to be tested, the gem is being grinded to glitter and the gold as Chakor said it is being put into the fire only to shine more...
Chakor, I was amazed at this girl, she wanted to know about the whereabouts of Suraj and Baapu but unlike any normal girl (ofcourse she is Chakor) she was taking charge of others too, calling out for nurse, doctor albeit her own personal fear...her expressions on seeing him, the shakiness and then realising what is unfolding in front of her... her man is disintegrating... not seeing her eye to eye... he is fearing failure... she knew, she took charge as only she can calm him, she quickly understood he is under terrible trauma... she has to gather him yes she will... She was excellent when she said we will face this together as Azadganj needs them...
She will, as the chirpy bird will now turn into that eagle to dig through and will bring her Lion roaring...
I was happy that Karan did not do the blast but that ***** did. As this makes my adories free of being party to any guilt... Being a bit philosophical, when she said only two why not more and why her baapu is alive made me sit up and look at Shree Krishna yes he is making her add more sins more sins so that there is no way to reconcile her books...
Dude I feared by your hug but thank you as you cheered me with that anger of yours... Please keep the anger fuelled as when you know the reality you need to fuel them to ashes...
My adories all our sukorians prayers are with you both as you are being prepared by the divine to thwart the evil... And that day will be my Diwali even if it is early...
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