SuKor SS: Cat Among the Pigeons (Discontinued.)

Aradh_27 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#1

Hello guys!

I'm posting a fic I started writing a few days ago which basically starts off post-wedding drama and then completely deviates from the show.

This centres around Chakor and Suraj and is primarily a mystery and not currently a romance (you have been warned).

Also, (for those of you who started watching post-leap) most of Suraj's childhood is purely my imagination and I admit that I've portrayed him in a more sympathetic manner than in the show (it's called fan fiction for a reason!).

So here goes nothing...

Edited by Aradh_27 - 8 years ago

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Aradh_27 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#2
Fic Index:

Prologue: Page 1

Chapter one-In which Chakor and Suraj converse: Page 1

Chapter two-In which Chakor realizes the truth : Page 2

Chapter three-In which Suraj decides to investigate: Page 3

Chapter four-In which Suraj stands by Chakor: Page 5

Chapter five-In which Suraj strikes a deal: Page 6

Chapter six-In which Chakor introspects: Page 9

Like this fic? If so, then do check out my other fics!

SuKor post-marriage fluff/romance OS series:

Sunflowers: https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/udann/4683678/sukor-os-sunflowers

SuKor AU mystery/romance/drama (Rated M) SS:


Edited by Aradh_27 - 9 years ago
Aradh_27 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#3

Prologue

So there I was.

The morning after my wedding.

In my bridal chamber.

Staring at my half-dressed bridegroom.

Who was the elder brother of the love of my life. And the father of my sister's unborn child. And the son of the people who had enslaved my entire family.

Not to mention my childhood tormentor and long term adversary.

HOW ON EARTH DID I GET MYSELF INTO THIS MESS?

I felt my surroundings blur a little as the cog-wheels in my head began turning frantically. I was accustomed to this feeling since my early childhood, after I'd been brought to the haveli to serve out my lifelong sentence, of course, because before then I had neither the need nor desire for scheming of any kind.

I was dimly aware of my "husband" (a chill runs down my spine as I think of it) smirking down at me, with my odhni still draped ridiculously about his shoulders.

WHO had taken me to the mandap?

I cursed myself for having put into Ranjana maa's head that I wanted a proper traditional wedding and having insisted on the long ghoongat to facilitate the elaborate deception I had come up with.

Clearly the person who'd escorted me downstairs was the one who had interchanged the brides. I had tried locating Tejaswini shortly after I had been left alone in my husband's room the previous night, but I couldn't find her. Ranjana maa had locked herself in her room and refused to talk to me.

Rather unexpectedly, I saw a vivid memory of myself at age eight, making an imaginary bed for myself and lying on the cold hard floor of the barn I had been locked into for attempting to escape. Probably while my erstwhile companion dreamt up ways of making that little's girl's life more miserable, slumbering peacefully in this room that was twice the size of my parents' home.

And that was when all the anger pent up over years came tumbling forth. I snapped out of my thoughts and looked up at him. I hadn't realised he'd been silent for this long. I was surprised to find him looking at me contemplatively.

I thought of Vivaan, his rage, his heart break. The little boy who crept into the grounds in the dark to bring a starving, scared little girl some food despite the risk of receiving a beating if caught.

Calmly, I made up my mind.

I would phone Aditya immediately to arrange for legal help to get out of this sham of a marriage.

I would find out how exactly this debacle occurred.

I would find out who was responsible.

And if it was Suraj Rajvanshi, I'd make him pay dearly.

Edited by Aradh_27 - 9 years ago
Aradh_27 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#4

Chapter One: In which Chakor and Suraj converse

Suraj couldn't help raising a brow as Chakor emerged after an hour long shower dressed in a simple pink Anarkali and chudidaar. The other brow shot up as she headed to the dressing table that Tejaswini had ensured was stocked with whatever thingamajigs women needed and picked up the little sindoor box.

He always had a flair for the dramatic. He schooled his features into a facade of mock surprise that masked his genuine astonishment and an alien jolt of warmth that disappeared as soon as he felt it.

"Arrey biwi, yeh kya? Khud hi apni maang bhar rahi ho? Agar Vivaan tumhe phir dekh kar baukhla gaya toh kya kahogi? Suraj ne sindoor ki dibiya humaare sar par phenk di...humne kuch nahin kiya!"

He mimicked her rather meanly.

You're a jerk,he thought to himself. But a funny one at least.

Chakor surveyed him calmly. She had mulled over her course of action in the privacy of the bathroom as the forceful jets of water cut off all external sound.

"Hum apne maai baapu se milne jaa rahein hain. Unhein accha nahin lagega agar woh humein bina sindoor mangalsutra ke dekhein."

He was a little disappointed. During the course of their interactions after her return to Aazadganj, he'd come to expect witty comebacks from a girl, no woman, as fiesty as Chakor. Although he hated her guts as a child, he observed her keenly. He was fascinated by her. She was about half his age then and always managed to drive his father crazy with her harebrained schemes directed in hopes of winning azaadi for the villagers.

Thirteen year old Suraj could not understand why his father took that slip of a girl seriously while he dismissed his own son as useless and a failure at everything in life. Of course by the time Chakor came into their lives, Suraj had long given up on trying to prove his mettle to his father.

He had been sent away to a prestigious boarding school on his father's insistence at the age of three. His very first memory was being wrenched away from his mother's embrace as she weeped and being pushed into a car seat. Although with time he had come to believe it was a false memory because he had never seen his mother cry except over her beloved husband.

Initially he did as he pleased. There were no grades or report cards in kindergarten so he had a pretty good time. He loved reading stories and making them up. He'd get up in front of the class and narrate tales. He'd do different voices for each character. He always tried imitating his papa's voice and mannerisms when he acted out the hero who always defeated the villain.

On his fifth birthday, his father surprised him by coming to visit him at school for the first time in two years. Tejaswini came almost every month and had accompanied her husband this time as well. They had a large shiny rectangular package for him. Suraj was so astounded by the fact that his father got him a gift he dropped the rather heavy object clumsily.

He still remembered the look of utter disdain on Kamal Narayan's face when his only son couldn't even hold on to a gun properly.

The late Kamal Narayan. In all the commotion the weddings had caused, the fact was yet to properly sink in that daddy dearest was no more. He made a mental note to call up the warden and pretend to be concerned so that he could receive the news officially.

Chakor wondered why he was becoming increasingly and abruptly silent. But she had neither the time nor desire to engage him in conversation. She made for the door in haste.

"Kahaan jaa rahi ho?"

"Bewaqoof hone ke saath saath behre bhi ho gaye ho kya? Ya yaaddasht umar ke saath kamzor ho gayi hai? Humne kaha tha na maai-bapu se milne jaa rahein hain."

"Accha ruko hum tumhein chhod aate hain."

The offer was unintentional. Just as he was about to recover from the faux pas with a snide remark about how the basti wasn't a safe place for Mrs. Suraj Rajvanshi, he noticed her beginning to panic. He could read her like a book by now. How he failed to figure out her bride swap plan much earlier baffled him. He blamed it on the seductive allure of the Raichands' wealth.

"Naahi naahi hum chali jaayi hai."

She slipped back into her basti dialect. His suspicions were confirmed. She was up to something. He knew she'd find a way to prevent him from tagging along. He'd have to do it without her knowledge then.

"Jaao phir. Humein kya? Koi patthar vagehra phenke ya kuwein mein dhakel de toh humein mat kehna. Yeh shaadi ke saare naatak ke baad haveli ke andar aur bahaar tum kisi ko kuch khaas pasand nahin ho."

Ouch. Harsh. Follow it up with a lascivious comment next.

"Sivaaye humaare. Tum kaho toh tumhe shopping le jaayein? Picchli baar ki lipstick shopping jo nahin ho paayi thi woh kar lenge."

"Picchli baar kyun nahin hui thi yaad hain na tumhe? Humaari nishaanebazi ko to tum jaante ho. Aur tumhaari bandook kahan rakhi hai yeh hum jaante hain. Toh apni bakwaas band karo tum."

Suraj-0. Chakor-1.

She turned triumphantly and walked out of the room. Suraj smirked and phoned Shikhu asking him to follow his bhaabhi and inform him of her whereabouts.

(Proceed to page 2 for chapter two!)

Edited by Aradh_27 - 9 years ago
Aradh_27 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#5
Constructive criticism (and just comments in general 😆) would be much appreciated. Here is a preview of what is to come in the next installment:

A corpse had been discovered near the basti. He was an escaped convict who had been shot through the head. The police had come across a man bending over the body, and appeared to be hastily wiping off his fingerprints from a rifle. They had arrested him immediately.

Radhika_r thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#6
loved it!!!! love your suraj!!! he sure is cute!!! provokes chakor yet cute!!!
your writing style is awesome!!!

Edited by Radhika_r - 9 years ago
Isha_201 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#7
LOVED YOUR STORY.
SURAJ IS SO SWEET.
AND THEIR CUTE FIGHTING SCENES WERE AWESOME.
KEEP UPDATING'
PenguinBaby thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#8
Amazing! They are so balanced in the snide remarks and the soft ones as well.
A dead body coming up? Sounds mysterious.
Continue soon 😊
sailuja thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#9
Wow lovely story ..sukor fighting scenes were awesome .. keep updating soon.👍🏼
princess2791 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#10
nice concept. i love this careing soft different suraj very much. waiting for next.

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