Quicksand - AnKhi OS.

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Aani

@EkPaheli

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#11

Originally posted by: MsTiara
Thank you so much for this wonderful OS! <333
Beautifully written!
TP is my favourite show at the moment!

I'm looking forward to read more from you on this forum! 😉

Thanks Tiara, I hope to write more too, now that I seem to have found a muse again in AnKhi, among the Indian shows on air now I find it the most refreshing.

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Aani

@EkPaheli

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#12

Originally posted by: ...Maham...
This was beautiful. I loved the idea of Anshuman falling in love with Paakhi being much like sinking in quicksand. The way you used Titanic as a backdrop of his feelings towards the end was brilliant. I did have problem with the language at some points because you switch too frequently between tenses.. it was a tad bit unsettling but otherwise this made for a very nice read. You have understood the characters and their relationship very, very well and that was perhaps the best part. Some bits were beautifully written. :))
Keep writing!

- Maham.

Thank you so much Maham for this helpful comment.

Like I said, I haven't written in almost 2 years now, so things get a little rusty😳. But I corrected a few errors related to the tenses after reading your comment, which I honestly had overlooked in my excitement and nervousness earlier.

I am glad you liked the analogy of Anshuman falling in love with the quicksand bit, it was something that just came to me.

Titanic was actually not even a part of my original idea, when it was coming to me but when I got started on Word, it just wrote itself.

I am pleased the most because I am glad that my readers can see AnKhi in my writing. I hate F' where the author destroys or completely changes characters just to fan and fuel any schoolgirl fantasies, so I try to stay as much within character as possible. So thank you, I am glad you can see them and their relationship here.

Once again thank you so much for your helpful comment.

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Aani

@EkPaheli

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#13

Originally posted by: Samanalyse
This is absolutely WONDERFUL! 👏👏👏

Your narration was so vivid, so complex, so encompassing of all the confusing and paradoxical moments that pass over Anshuman that I was left completely satisfied at the end, even though your protagonist is left in a moment of willful oblivion.You have beautifully captured the painful ambiguity in Anshuman's mind at this point in the story! I hope this couple continue to inspire you because you have such a nuanced understanding of the characters!

Thank you so much Sam 😊

you know until I saw last night' episode I was a bit confused about Anshuman myself. I couldn't figure out whats in his head, so this one came up. The attraction between them is so obvious but Anshuman doesnt allow himself to ponder over it, in fact he tries not to think about it at all if possible.

But yesterday his conversation with Girish was a revelation.

He notices her, everything that she does and does not do. He knows he cannot have found a better wife and mother for Ayaan. But now, he finds himself unworthy of her and her love. Knowing what he does - that he has never wanted her, that all of his words and actions have mostly been lies to lure her into a scheme that will finally make her walk out on him.

Now with Ayaan around, he notices especially how with any other woman things would have been so different. He sees that any other woman would have tried to land in Ayaan' good graces since he is Anshuman' son but may not have mothered him but Paakhi isnt like that.

She isnt trying to win over Ayaan to stay with Anshuman. She genuinely wants to be a mother to Ayaan, wants him to have the kind of love he longs for, which she knows all about having lost her own mother at a young age.

Things have become complex for him with all his preconceived notions challenged now and I wanted to explore that scenario from his head. Where he wants to fight with all his might and emerge as a winner, in what he believed was a game, a challenge for him. But now with his heart in the picture, his ego is taking a beating. He is falling for her and falling hard, but cannot accept defeat at any cost even when he is his own competitor.

What he hasnt figured out yet is that he has already lost his heart, his ego is just too darn big to let him admit it.

Thank you so much once again.

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Aani

@EkPaheli

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#14

Originally posted by: Javeria3991
Awesome one shots.
I love the way you pen down Anshuman feeling for Pakhi.
No matter how much he deny he can't ignore Pakhi anymore, no matter how much he say no to his heart but his heart is stolen by Pakhi. He feel lively and enjoy moments of his life in his home, around his son and especially in his family which Pakhi completes it. Even the thoughts of her make her smile, she is the biggest deal which he earn and the biggest secret and reality of life at which he is failing to decode and understand.

Thanks Javeria, oh anshuman has to just let himself admit that he is in love with her.

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M_n_h

@M_n_h

Voyager

Posted: 11 years ago

#15

Loved the OS!!
Liked how you put all the things like pleats, Pakhi getting wet and the titanic bit
Hope we get to read more from you

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maham

@...Maham...

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#16

Originally posted by: AbandonedRiddle

Thank you so much Maham for this helpful comment.

Like I said, I haven't written in almost 2 years now, so things get a little rusty😳. But I corrected a few errors related to the tenses after reading your comment, which I honestly had overlooked in my excitement and nervousness earlier.
I am glad you liked the analogy of Anshuman falling in love with the quicksand bit, it was something that just came to me.
Titanic was actually not even a part of my original idea, when it was coming to me but when I got started on Word, it just wrote itself.
I am pleased the most because I am glad that my readers can see AnKhi in my writing. I hate F' where the author destroys or completely changes characters just to fan and fuel any schoolgirl fantasies, so I try to stay as much within character as possible. So thank you, I am glad you can see them and their relationship here.
Once again thank you so much for your helpful comment.

I totally get the rusty bit. I'm trying to get back to writing myself. I hope I did not sound too critical, that really wasn't the intention. As for the titanic bit.. Stories do write themselves don't they? :) I always feel it comes out better that way. I agree about the characters.. its actually hard to write some and you did a very impressive job in capturing the complexity of Anshuman's character. Will look forward to more from you. :))

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Aani

@EkPaheli

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#17

Originally posted by: M_n_h
Loved the OS!!
Liked how you put all the things like pleats, Pakhi getting wet and the titanic bit
Hope we get to read more from you

thanks a lot 😊

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Aani

@EkPaheli

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#18

Originally posted by: ...Maham...

I totally get the rusty bit. I'm trying to get back to writing myself. I hope I did not sound too critical, that really wasn't the intention. As for the titanic bit.. Stories do write themselves don't they? :) I always feel it comes out better that way. I agree about the characters.. its actually hard to write some and you did a very impressive job in capturing the complexity of Anshuman's character. Will look forward to more from you. :))

Oh you write as well? So nice to know that, will look forward to reading something AnKhi based from you. 😊 And hey I am thankful for the critique really, Constructive criticism should always be welcomed. 😳 It only helps you improve so no sweat about that. And I know exactly what you mean about stories coming out better if they just come to you on their own when you are in this zone and the words flow right out of you. I always find my best works when I write something on the spur of the moment, which somehow feels just right you know

And thanks once again, I find Anshuman so complex, that it was somehow easy to write when I put myself in his shoes. Somehow the words just came to me. I think the most fascinating thing about Anshuman is he is not a hero, not a conventional one at least and he is not one of these new breed of 'antiheroes' that have taken over the TV these days. His aggression is not physical, he doesnt have this push-shove-fall-in-my-arms-have -an-eyelock love story with Paakhi which is now out there aplenty and is distasteful for me.

I like that he is now at a war with himself as much as he is with Paaki' strength and her resolve, unbeknownst to her. What makes Anshuman impressive to me is - he is such an image-obsessed man, you know he has this hero complex as per me. He wants to be always this shining example in front of everyone but in truth he finds himself now suffering because of it. Since he so can see, whatever he is trying to project isnt the truth. Paakhi may walk out on him and he may be this sad case in front of the world - the poor guy dumped by his wife. But that wont be the truth. He knows he may try to come off as a hero here but he is the villain in reality and that has him at conflict with himself.

I dint really enjoy the last episode, but it will be interesting to see how the writers pull off this triangle. They haven't been conventional so far, I hope they continue to surprise us with the treatment of this cliche.

Edited by AbandonedRiddle - 11 years ago

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maham

@...Maham...

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

#19

All I have written so far is two analyses on their characters. 😆 Word! @ Inspiration: Over time I've found that everytime I ignore all the words exploding in my head I usually write really badly once I finally get around to it. Its always smarter to embrace it.

I completely agree about Anshuman! He is very different. They are both different actually.

His aggression is not physical, he doesnt have this push-shove-fall-in-my-arms-have -an-eyelock love story with Paakhi which is now out there aplenty and is distasteful for me.

This bit is like my own head talking back to me. And yes like you pointed out.. he does have a hero complex and while he wants everyone to think of him as one, he's landed himself in a situation where his own opinion of himself is lowering everyday and that is impossible to live with. He's growing more and more conflicted everyday and the fact he cant help but have feelings for Paakhi is making it worse.

As for the current track, I am not a fan of it either but I hope they handle it well. They showed some nice things today.. I just hope they don't lose their head and the story goes awry. Its a good show and I'm really looking forward to how things unfolds once Paakhi finds out the truth.

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Aani

@EkPaheli

Stunner

+ 4

Posted: 11 years ago

#20

Originally posted by: SHINYSHREYA
NICE OS

thanks Shreya 😊

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