Would you be with someone/marry someone who already has a child? - Page 4

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--Evon-- thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#31
Not in the way Pakhi is... I mean, if I was in Pakhi's place, I would never decide to marry him again, he doesn't love her. It was true he presented himself like he only needs a nanny.. so why would I?

In the general sense, if I love the person, I don't think I would mind his kid, but obviously there's the whole matter of adjusting to each other when we are talking about a kid. And more so in that age, kids don't like others taking their mother's place.
rechup thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#32
I wont marry...any decision out of sympathy will bring regret n resentment later...if a child too involved then it will b more messy...i think when i have my children i may differentiate between them n that may break a childz heart...it may also happen if the child is not ready to accept me as a mom..
KripAngad4ever thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#33

Originally posted by: ZAHARA.


Haha I don't think I'd wait for someone who doesn't even remember me if that makes sense? I think it's nice that she wanted to wait for Anshuman to either connect the relationship or end it but it's a bit too romanticised.


Yeah..I mean it would have been okay for her to wait for Anshuman if as kids they made promises to being friends or something but she's waiting for him just because they were "married" as kids. Girls could have that mind set of marriage and how its so eternal but all of that is just an IDEA. She has been keeping the idea alive sadly
ZAHARA. thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#34

Originally posted by: sarita_barun

Well not sure if i was in Paakhi's place i would do what she did, because im not in Paakhi's situation...BUT

If i do meet someone and he told me he was a divorcee or a widower... and that too had a child. It would not be a problem. That won't stop me from liking him.
And if i do fall in love with this person, then of course i wouldnt have a problem even then; because i should love everything about him.
His past is his past.

My main focus would be loving that person and his child and once he does the same in return. Everyone's happy... a happy little family. 😊


AW! That's such a cute reply!! And yeah so true! Being a widower/divorcee and with a child is no problem if you fall in love! Love can just happen, any time with anyone! :)
ZAHARA. thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#35

Originally posted by: ehmmbhvirman

it depend upon how d person is!!!!

i mean if is hawt sxy n have good sense of humour den dnt mind to do


Yeah that's true, I don't think I can be with someone who doesn't dress nicely nor takes care of themself as in they look like a mess regarding whether they have children or not
ZAHARA. thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#36

Originally posted by: summikhan

It depends. Like you said, the reason their last marriage ended really matters. I don't really mind the child, but it can be a problem if the child is unwilling to accept a step-mom. But the kind of person that I am and the circumstances I've endured, I think I can handle it as long as the person I'm marrying is honest, supportive and loyal towards me. Love weaves it's way through that mutual trust, eventually. That's my opinion.



Such a beautiful response! 😳

The part in bold is one of the main things I think! A person no matter who they are, if they are going to be your life partner they have to be loyal, honest and supportive. As for being a step-mum, well if you can handle it and you accept the child then the child too will accept it I'm sure :))


ZAHARA. thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#37

Originally posted by: --Evon--

Not in the way Pakhi is... I mean, if I was in Pakhi's place, I would never decide to marry him again, he doesn't love her. It was true he presented himself like he only needs a nanny.. so why would I?

In the general sense, if I love the person, I don't think I would mind his kid, but obviously there's the whole matter of adjusting to each other when we are talking about a kid. And more so in that age, kids don't like others taking their mother's place.


Yeah I think if I was in Pakhi's situation where teh guy was deceiving me for something then I would not even accept him in the first nor after I learn the truth --- if a relationship doesn't start of loyal, then what's the point of that relationship?
ZAHARA. thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#38

Originally posted by: rechup

I wont marry...any decision out of sympathy will bring regret n resentment later...if a child too involved then it will b more messy...i think when i have my children i may differentiate between them n that may break a childz heart...it may also happen if the child is not ready to accept me as a mom..


Honest opinion! And yeah you are completely justified! You don't know how you'd react if such a situation emerges and you're totally right about that, even I don't know how I'd react but I'd like to react in accepting the child as I don't want children of my own. But yeah, it'd be really sad if the child is not ready to accept someone other as their mother, and that in itself could be heartbreaking :|
ZAHARA. thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#39

Originally posted by: KripAngad4ever


Yeah..I mean it would have been okay for her to wait for Anshuman if as kids they made promises to being friends or something but she's waiting for him just because they were "married" as kids. Girls could have that mind set of marriage and how its so eternal but all of that is just an IDEA. She has been keeping the idea alive sadly


True! Childhood promises! Aw, that'd be such a cute lovestory! If they weren't married but she'd been waiting for him because he promised he'll marry her --- but of course, I like TP story line as well! hahaha, someone needs to fanfic this! 😆 But the part about the idea of marriage and it's ideals is so true! I know some girls that fantasise about it and then when they do get married, their dream literally shatters because their ideal marriage and husband is different to reality. =|
NIDIZ thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#40
I have similar thoughts too,
I would have definitely married someone who had a child . but, if I was in Pakhi's places would have thinked over it.
but she did say Yes not because Anshuman had came for her but because he told her every truth of his life. that he was married n has a son who is very hard to handle... see any other girl will never accept a child from first wife cause its a symbol of there love!
which may hurt the eyes of any wife, and thats Wat Anshuman thought while telling it to her , but what Pakhi thought was different.
Pakhi understood that he never betrayed her cause he was not even aware of him being married on first place.(and it was a child marriage which is not valid on papers. so technically Pakhi will always remain second wife. )
she felt that Anshuman got to knew about it some how and came to get her back only to give her rights.
she believes He did came with truthful heart and thats what she felt!
I also would have felt the same. but Pakhi is more kind heartd , she can accept and give the baby more love like his mom used to give.
I would have thought over it personally , cause adopting a child and upbringing him is a lot more different than upbringing a child of ure husbands first. i feel that I may not b able to give him that much love n affection that his mother used to give. and that what made me make a second thought, and when ure heart is not ready fully u should never do it . but I always used to think about adopting a child for myself!!
if the situation is exactly like Pakhi, I would hv gave it a short n acceptd the child cause I would hv felt my husband didn't betray me all wrong was my destiny that I was alone all these years but it changes for good !!

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