Jokes 2CheerEveryone more jokes on page 5 - Page 2

Originally posted by: guli444

😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆 😆



THAT WAS FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG!! GULI!!😆 U R FULLY CRACKED UP!!LOL......😆

😆 😆 😆

Those were totally hilarious!

You cracked me up! 😆

Thanks once again jaslove...keep them posting..... 👏 👏 😊

😆

dat was REALLY funni...FAB WRK 👏 👏 👏

😆 ...thanks for the great jokes guys!

guys hers more too too cheer you up, looks like everyone is laughing, makes me feel good😃

Ganpat is a Maharashtrian...! Ganpat was bragging to his boss one day,
"You know,I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone,anyone,
and I
know them."
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK,Ganpat how about
Tom Cruise?" "Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove
it." So Ganpat and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom
Cruise's door, and sure enough, Tom cruise shouts,"Ganu! Great to see
you!
You
and your friend come right in and join! me for lunch!".

Although impressed, Ganpat's boss is still skeptical. After they
leave Cruise's house, he tells Ganpat that he thinks Ganpat's knowing
Cruise was just lucky.



No, no, just name anyone else",Ganpat says. "President Clinton," his
boss quickly retorts. "Yes," Ganpat says, "I know him, let's fly Out
to
Washington." And off they go. At the WhiteHouse, Clinton spots Ganpat
on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, "Ganu, what a
surprise, I! was just on my way to a meeting, but you and yourfriend
come
on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and catch up."



Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still not totally
convinced.After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his
doubts
to
Ganpat who again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope,"his boss
replies. "Sure!" says Ganpat. "I have a lot of friends in Poland, and
I've known the Pope along time." So off they fly to Rome. Ganpat and
his boss are assembled with the masses in Vatican Square when Ganpat
says, "This will never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all
these
people. Tell you what, I know all the guards, so let me just go
upstairs and I'll come out on the balcony with the Pope. So he
disappears
into the crowd,headed toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour
later Ganpat emerges with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time
Ganpat
returns, he finds that his
boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramed! ics. Working
his way to his boss' side, Ganpat asks him, what happened?" His boss
looks up and says, "I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on
the balcony and the man next to me said, "Who's that on the balcony
with Ganpat? ...

this are my all time favorite, best ever, you will be falling up & down after reading this ones😆😆

😆Arz kiya hai....

====================================

Tumko dekha....tumko dekha...
tumko dekha....to yeh khayal aaya
paaglon ke stock mein naya maal aaya!

====================================

Idhar kuda hai, udar khuda hai,
jidar dekho udar khuda hai,
idhar-udhar bus khuda hi khuda hai
jidhar nahi khuda hai....udhar kal khudega!

=====================================

The night is dark, the moon is high,
I stop my car, u ask why?
I come close to u, u feel shy,
I tell u those three magical words....

Hye La, Puncture!!!

=====================================

Tumsa koi dusara jameen par hua
to rab se sikayat hogi....
Ek to jehlla nahi jata
dusra aa gaya to kya halat hogi!!!

=====================================

koi pathar se na maare mere dewaane ko........
koi pathar se na maare mere dewaane ko........
koi pathar se na maare mere dewaane ko........

abe aage bhi to bol...............
neuclear power ka jamaana hai, bomb se udaa do
saale ko...................

=====================================


tere dar pe sanam hazar baar aayenge,
tere dar pe sanam hazar baar aayenge.....
ghanti bajayenge aur bhaag jayenge !!

==========================================================

Jis waqt khuda ne tumhe banaya hoga, ek saroor sa
uske
dil pe chaya hoga...pehle socha hoga tujhe jannat
mein
rakh lun..phir usse zoo ka khayal aaya hoga!!!

==========================================================

Mein Tumhare Liye Sab Kuch Karta..Magar Mujhe Kaam
Tha...... Mein
Tumhare Liye Doob Ke Marta...Magar Mujhe Zukham
Tha !

==========================================================

Mere marne ke baad mere doston,
yu aansoo na bahana,
Agar meri yaad aaye to,
sidhe upar chale aana!!

==========================================================

Unki gali se guzre..ajeeb ittefaq tha
Unki gali se guzre..ajeeb ittefaq tha
Unho ne phool phenka..gamla bhi saath tha!!

==========================================================

Tumko dekha to ek khyal aaya
Tumko dekha to ek khyal aaya
Tumhari saheli ko dekha to doosra khyal aaya!!

==========================================================

Itna khubsurat kaise muskura lete ho.....
Itna qatil kaise sharma lete ho.....
Kitni aasani se Jaan le lete ho.....
Kisi ne sikhaya hai... ya bachpan se hi kamine ho??

Indian Nursery Rhymes

Laloo Bhai bihari
Went up the pahari
To fetch a bail for court order
Laloo fell down
And lost his crown
But Rabri reigned thereafter.
________________________________
Laxman laxman
Yes pappa
Eating money
No pappa
Telling lies
No pappa
Open yr drawer
Ha ha ha
________________________________
Samata party is falling down
Falling down
Falling down
Samata party is falling down
Falling down
Falling down
My fair jaitley (jaya)
________________________________
Wha Wha Black Sheep
Have you pulled the wool?
Yes sir, Yes sir,
Three bags full.
One for my father,
One for my dame,
And one for the CBI
Crying in the lane.
__________________________________
Lit! tle Miss Bharti,
Did a Maha-arti,
So the BJP would always hold sway.
There came a big BSP With Mayavati its USP.
And frightened Miss Bharti away.
________________________________
Little Lal Advani
Sat with his TV vahini
Taking his party's rai
He stuck out his thumb,
Hoping to pull out the plum,
And said, 'Can I have a slice of Vaj-pie?'
____________________________________
Batsman-bowler sat on the ball.
Batsman-bowler had a great fall,
All the bookies' cookies,
All the bribers' men,
Couldn't put Indian cricket together again.
____________________________________
Bankers and ministers
Sold for a penny
All the swindlers are so many
The envy's green
And the CBI red's
Nail them all, and get
Their head, head, head. ...

Santa Singh at an interview:

Question: What is Ford?

Santa: Gaddi!!!

Question: Good, what is Oxford?

Santa: Bailgaddi!

COMPUTER TERMS & HINDI MOVIES

Pentium II and Pentium I - Bade Miyan Chhote Miyan
For an employee who signs a bond - Bandhan
For an employee without signing bond - Kachche Dhage
Sister concern - Judwaa
For an employee who works sincerely - Dil Se
For an employee who is ready to leave his job -- Doli Saja Ke Rakhna
A project having two projects leaders - Ek Phool Do Mali
An employee without accommodation - Pardesi Babu
Password - China Gate
Super User Password - Gupt
An employee who is in company for more than Three years - Amar Prem
Bill Gates - Hum see Badhkar Kaun
Microsoft Corporation - Ustadon Ke Ustad
Ctrl C+ Ctrl V - Duplicate
An employee on probation - Paying Guest
Ctrl + Alt + Del - Aakhri Raasta
An employee who frequently changes the company - Chalti Ka Naam Gaadi
Group Leader - Khal Nayak
Backup - Jagte Raho
Dos / Windows - Do Raaste
F1 - Guide
Internet - Door Gagan Ki Chhav Mein
Operator vs computer - Main Khiladi Tu Anadi
Windows 95 - Bade Dilwala
undo - Aa ab laut chalen
Project incharge - Mohra
Mail Merge in MS Word - Sangam
Server - Godfather
Interview - Muqabla
Result of Interview - Kadwa Sach
Visa - Border
A system infected by virus - Pyar to Hona Hi Tha
Anti virus Kit - Soldier
System without RAM - Kora Kagaz
Temporary file - Khote Sikkey
A system which frequently requires bootable disk - Sharabi
A computer for the virus - Piya Ka Ghar
Hard disk vs Floppy Disk - Gharwali Baharwali

Originally posted by: Jaslove

this are my all time favorite, best ever, you will be falling up & down after reading this ones😆😆

😆Arz kiya hai....

====================================

Tumko dekha....tumko dekha...
tumko dekha....to yeh khayal aaya
paaglon ke stock mein naya maal aaya!

====================================

Idhar kuda hai, udar khuda hai,
jidar dekho udar khuda hai,
idhar-udhar bus khuda hi khuda hai
jidhar nahi khuda hai....udhar kal khudega!

=====================================

The night is dark, the moon is high,
I stop my car, u ask why?
I come close to u, u feel shy,
I tell u those three magical words....

Hye La, Puncture!!!

=====================================

Tumsa koi dusara jameen par hua
to rab se sikayat hogi....
Ek to jehlla nahi jata
dusra aa gaya to kya halat hogi!!!

=====================================

koi pathar se na maare mere dewaane ko........
koi pathar se na maare mere dewaane ko........
koi pathar se na maare mere dewaane ko........

abe aage bhi to bol...............
neuclear power ka jamaana hai, bomb se udaa do
saale ko...................

=====================================


tere dar pe sanam hazar baar aayenge,
tere dar pe sanam hazar baar aayenge.....
ghanti bajayenge aur bhaag jayenge !!

==========================================================

Jis waqt khuda ne tumhe banaya hoga, ek saroor sa
uske
dil pe chaya hoga...pehle socha hoga tujhe jannat
mein
rakh lun..phir usse zoo ka khayal aaya hoga!!!

==========================================================

Mein Tumhare Liye Sab Kuch Karta..Magar Mujhe Kaam
Tha...... Mein
Tumhare Liye Doob Ke Marta...Magar Mujhe Zukham
Tha !

==========================================================

Mere marne ke baad mere doston,
yu aansoo na bahana,
Agar meri yaad aaye to,
sidhe upar chale aana!!

==========================================================

Unki gali se guzre..ajeeb ittefaq tha
Unki gali se guzre..ajeeb ittefaq tha
Unho ne phool phenka..gamla bhi saath tha!!

==========================================================

Tumko dekha to ek khyal aaya
Tumko dekha to ek khyal aaya
Tumhari saheli ko dekha to doosra khyal aaya!!

==========================================================

Itna khubsurat kaise muskura lete ho.....
Itna qatil kaise sharma lete ho.....
Kitni aasani se Jaan le lete ho.....
Kisi ne sikhaya hai... ya bachpan se hi kamine ho??

Indian Nursery Rhymes

Laloo Bhai bihari
Went up the pahari
To fetch a bail for court order
Laloo fell down
And lost his crown
But Rabri reigned thereafter.
________________________________
Laxman laxman
Yes pappa
Eating money
No pappa
Telling lies
No pappa
Open yr drawer
Ha ha ha
________________________________
Samata party is falling down
Falling down
Falling down
Samata party is falling down
Falling down
Falling down
My fair jaitley (jaya)
________________________________
Wha Wha Black Sheep
Have you pulled the wool?
Yes sir, Yes sir,
Three bags full.
One for my father,
One for my dame,
And one for the CBI
Crying in the lane.
__________________________________
Lit! tle Miss Bharti,
Did a Maha-arti,
So the BJP would always hold sway.
There came a big BSP With Mayavati its USP.
And frightened Miss Bharti away.
________________________________
Little Lal Advani
Sat with his TV vahini
Taking his party's rai
He stuck out his thumb,
Hoping to pull out the plum,
And said, 'Can I have a slice of Vaj-pie?'
____________________________________
Batsman-bowler sat on the ball.
Batsman-bowler had a great fall,
All the bookies' cookies,
All the bribers' men,
Couldn't put Indian cricket together again.
____________________________________
Bankers and ministers
Sold for a penny
All the swindlers are so many
The envy's green
And the CBI red's
Nail them all, and get
Their head, head, head. ...

Santa Singh at an interview:

Question: What is Ford?

Santa: Gaddi!!!

Question: Good, what is Oxford?

Santa: Bailgaddi!

my favourite too!!!!!!!!!👏