What's wrong with aadhya.? - Page 2

I agree with your every point but neither  misbehaving with parents not physical abuse towards them is  justified... Not everything can be pushed under one carpet of traumatic response.

Majority of my own formative years were spent away from my parents due to several reasons. 

I can’t begin to describe the feeling of growing up without parents and the lasting scar it leaves in its  wake. 

I do admit that my childhood wasn’t as bad as CA’s , nor was I an adopted child to my parents. But the yearning to see my parents, be with them all remained an unfulfilled desire. Love and affection from parents was something that I had seen/read in fiction. 

Even today as an adult, I have to put extra effort to be happy because the chip on my shoulder from the younger days pulls me back. 

I am thankful that god made me strong enough to control my emotions and learn to cope with reality.  I’m strong enough not to throw things at others or act like it is depicted in this show. 

On my way to work this morning, I was thinking about CA and children in general after reading several posts here. Oblivious to me, I was blinded by tears. I had drifted back to my own younger days when I craved for affection. My heart bleeds for CA. 

The trauma is real, the pain and suffering is real. I wouldn’t defend Anupamaa or Anuj at any cost. Neither would I label CA cringe. 

Is it so wrong to want a normal happy family? I don’t think so. 

All of us deserve to be happy. It is the foremost responsibility of a parent to provide an environment that is conducive to normal life. 

Originally posted by: Serialnarc

I do agree about anuj taking care of adhya's triggers. But don't parents have life too, it must be traumatizing for him also to leave his love for his child right.. what about his feelings

yes parents do have a life of their own which they try to work around their kids but here Anupama left Anuj too, not just choti and Aadhya wants to protect her dad from the pain that Anupama gave him…her actions are as loud as her fear of seeing her father hurt.

Originally posted by: Serialnarc

I honestly don't think so he is being selfish. He made some poor decisions and was unsuccessful in clearing aadhya's illusions about anupama. But he did chose aadhya over anupama. I don't see any selfish ness. He is just overwhelmed after seeing anupama.. which is quite understandable.

I agree he’s overwhelmed to see Anupama and also he never stopped loving her, he wanted answers to his questions but he didnt ‘blame’ Anupama for anything as such. He didnt choose Aadhya over Anupama, he didnt need to…Anupama is the one who left CA with him by default…Anuj tried to move on(pretended to) with Shruti for Aadhya’s sake whereas Aadhya is stuck where she was 5 years ago. And now that they’ve met after long his joy is understandable same way Aadhya’s hatred is.

Big bear hugs to you Smitha…

Eerily, I can relate to you in more ways than one, living with parents and experiencing the warmth of a family/a happy childood is what I’ve missed out on sorely and now that I have a family of my own, I feel the void even more. I honestly wouldnt wish it for my enemies, let alone fictional characters.

Aadya pushing Anuj and Anupama is not acceptable as they are older to her. Her constant "I hate you" for Anupama also sounds over-dramatic.

But Aadya's insecurities are justified. The accident incident left a deep scar on her heart. Anupama saving her in the end made her feel "unloved" and the least important person in her adoptive mother's life. Her negative impression about Anupama became stronger when Anupama abandoned her and Anuj instead of trying to clear the misunderstanding.

Moreover, in these 5 years, she has got motherly affection from Shruti. Anupama's re-entry in their lives implies Shruti's exit. How can Aadya agree to lose someone who loves her dearly over someone who abandoned her?

Besides, Anupama caused pain to Anuj too. She always prioritised her ex-husband's family and biological children. Aadya has zero trust in her as she is likely to leave them anytime. Lastly, she fears Anuj may also leave her for Anupama. 

While her actions are going overboard, her aggressive behavior is a result of Anupama's horrible decisions and Anuj's inability to make her feel 100% secured.

Edited by Time_to_move_on - 3 months ago

Originally posted by: SmithaRam

Majority of my own formative years were spent away from my parents due to several reasons. 

I can’t begin to describe the feeling of growing up without parents and the lasting scar it leaves in its  wake. 

I do admit that my childhood wasn’t as bad as CA’s , nor was I an adopted child to my parents. But the yearning to see my parents, be with them all remained an unfulfilled desire. Love and affection from parents was something that I had seen/read in fiction. 

Even today as an adult, I have to put extra effort to be happy because the chip on my shoulder from the younger days pulls me back. 

I am thankful that god made me strong enough to control my emotions and learn to cope with reality.  I’m strong enough not to throw things at others or act like it is depicted in this show. 

On my way to work this morning, I was thinking about CA and children in general after reading several posts here. Oblivious to me, I was blinded by tears. I had drifted back to my own younger days when I craved for affection. My heart bleeds for CA. 

The trauma is real, the pain and suffering is real. I wouldn’t defend Anupamaa or Anuj at any cost. Neither would I label CA cringe. 

Is it so wrong to want a normal happy family? I don’t think so. 

All of us deserve to be happy. It is the foremost responsibility of a parent to provide an environment that is conducive to normal life. 

Hugs🤗

I almost choked reading this, this brings back my most happy and the most tragic & painful memories of life.
Can totally relate to all of this and yes, the trauma is real, that depression is real.

And no one can ever, Ever fill the void of a parent.

But this is God’s way of shaping us into strong individuals who life cannot break again.

And when I watch this show, I always get reminded that what not to do as a parent, when I have kids of my own. How to never be a mother like Anupamaa or even a father like Anuj for that matter is nothing to be proud of. This show is a perfect example of how parents and families should never be.

Every child Does deserve a Happy, Normal family and childhood.

Relations, love, trust, gratitude, security, happiness ALL of these are not mere terms they are what a family means.

And NO, a family is NOT bound by blood. As a proud witness to atleast 4 families in my close circle having adoptive children, I can say, with utmost confidence that children are children not biological, not adoptive. Likewise for the parents.

Secondly, till the age that children are independent adults, capable of taking their own decisions, their good and bad is of the parents. No two ways about it.

It is both the right and duty of the parents to nurture them with love and care, protect them from the evils of the world, relieve them of their insecurities and assure them that they will always be there for them whenever they need them while also ensuring they know right from wrong and teach them to take ownership of their actions and be independent strong people.

Whatever the children do as adults is their own and HAVE to take responsibility of.

This show can by NO means depict anything positive about relations or family.

It is sad that divine instances of Yashoda maiyya Kanhaji are just lip service. First of ALL this divine parlance HAS to Stop.

Edited by Bodhianveshika - 3 months ago

Lots of love and best wishes to you both.

You have grown up to be strong and independent and wish the best for the rest and that is the best!

I agree with you too.

However I think the point that Anupamaa's writers need to understand is that when a child acts out because of trauma, it is the responsibility of the parent to gently and firmly guide the child into better behaviour.

Often the child does not have the tools to handle this situation or to know better, especially when the child has not been raised in an environment of healthy communication and respectful relationships. Children are still learning and they will make mistakes. Raising a child badly and then blaming the child as evil or violent or rude makes it seem like there is something inherently bad about the child.

As parents, AK and Anupamaa should at least be tuned in to the fact that their daughter is very disturbed and needs attention and help with her mental health. They should be careful what they say and how they behave in front of her. They should consider how their actions might affect the child.

Yes, parents do have lives. But when two people decide to become parents of a child, they should do it knowing that parenthood is their responsibility until the child becomes an adult, no matter whether the child is a very well-behaved individual or has various issues that need to be addressed.

If they cannot commit to paying attention to the well-being of their child, they should not become parents in the first place. Adopting a child involves the need to be more sensitive and careful, and this show just makes a mockery of it all.