Arshi FF: Jaanam Dekh Lo

Hi People,

     Had always been a avid reader to all the wonderful ff's 11 years ago then lost complete touch with arshi, just slowly getting back into the forum as life is giving me sometime to re-watch this amazing series again. This time the show has inspired me to write. This story has been in my mind since 10 years so finally putting it into words. Hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 1: Khushi

She loved this place…just absolutely loved this small village called Morni on the outskirts of the state of Haryana. This village is where she was found as a baby in a field and had been taken in by the old village head and his wife. The village head know as babuji by most of the village folk was a kind hearted man and his wife was the model wife anybody could ask for she mirrored her husband’s thoughts and actions. She gently ran a hand over the now 8-yearold photograph of them, she remembered that day clearly. A photographer had come to the village and asked for shelter for 2 days so he could capture the beauty of the village and the surrounding hills. Like most small villages most people were little scared of outsiders but her babuji as always had offered a place in his small home to the stranger and shared whatever meal they had cooked with him. Amma had lovingly followed in her husband’s footsteps and made the 2 days as comfortable as they could for the stranger in their home. The thankful stranger had asked to take their picture as a memory and they had obliged their guest’s request. Few weeks later the picture had come in the post fully developed and laminated ready to be put on the wall.

Such were the people who brought her up willing to share what little they had with anyone in need and Khushi thanked the gods everyday that though her birth parents didn’t want her, but god had made her fall safely into the arms of this loving couple. Babuji was an old man when he had taken her into his home and given her shelter and amma’s age was close behind she didn’t think much of it then but now thinking back she should have prepared herself for this day.

Amma had passed away peacefully in her sleep one day 3 years ago leaving so much unrest behind her. Khushi was shocked to her core… life had stopped for her. Her amma was everything for her, her god given mother, friend, mentor, guide everything. She mourned her amma for days together her tears would not dry up and she had not been able to eat or sleep properly for months together. Until one day she had fainted from all the accumulated stress and when she woke up she heard voices outside her room, it was her babuji talking with her old friend and neighbor Chandan kaka about how he worried for her and how she is the purpose he is alive. Then realization hit her in the face she can’t do this to her babuji he is also old and all this worrying might harm his health too. So that day he had decided to hide her sorrow and take care of the one person she can call as family on this earth.

But her babuji’s health had started deteriorating slowly and steadily the next few years. It was like his soul was restless without amma. Khushi had taken care of him as best as she could but he kept getting worse but he always assured her he was fine and not to worry about him. She knew he was not the same without amma, she also caught him looking at her with worried eyes whenever he thought she wasn’t looking. But she knew he was worrying about her and missing amma so much that his health was going bad fast.

One fine day she had just given his medication after lunch and he had choked a little on the water and had coughed violently scaring her for his wellbeing. She had run to get the local RMP in spite of his protests by the time she was back he looked better but the RMP still checked babuji once and said he is ok, but he should take more rest. After the RMP left babuji had called her and asked her to sit by him and she sat at his feet in her favorite position since her childhood days of listening to all the stories that babuji had told her. He patted her head lovingly and said “Bitiya, I would like to tell you something today about me and your amma. Your amma is my second wife, I have another wife who I left because we were never meant to be together. And with my first wife I had 2 children, 2 boys. We had a small factory for making clothes near Delhi and we had more than enough money. Subhadra was never happy with what we had, she always wanted more. Bitiya, I will not bad mouth another person and say she was the reason I left my family but bitiya I was not happy. In-fact, we were both not happy and I was so unhappy one day that I thought of taking my life too. Around that time is when your amma joined our office as a worker and slowly but steadily we started understanding each other and she was always helping me understand Subhadra’s side of any argument. But I slowly started realizing that it was amma who I loved more than anything in this world. One day Subhadra got to know that I was being friendly with a woman in the office and came to office and insulted your amma infront of everyone. In those days, honor was everything for a woman, so in a rage to defend your amma I married her on the spot and left from there. We came her and settled in this village. My life had never been happier, we had very little money but our life was 100 times happier.”

“Only thing missing from our life was children. Subhadra had refused to let me see or talk to the children however many times I tried. And me and your amma never were able to have children. Your amma used to say it’s god’s punishment for us because of how we had left Subhadra. Until you came into our lives and made it so much more beautiful bitiya.” He smiled and patted her cheeks.

Khushi was unable to digest all this soo much she didn’t know about her amma and babuji. Tears were flowing down her face freely understanding the pure love between her parents. “Bitiya now I feel I will not survive much longer, that is why I am telling you all this. You are just 18 if you were older I would have got you married and left this world peacefully. But you are too young for marriage, but I can not leave you alone in this world without protection.”

She was trying to assimilate all that her babuji was saying she was getting terrified as to why he was speaking about his death and all. She wanted to say she did not want to live either without the both of them, but words were not forming in her immense grief filled heart. She truly would not survive this world being an orphan in a small village though her parents gave her a lot of love she was never looked at or treated the same anywhere else. She was always ridiculed, cursed at or called as a bad omen in general. Though they hid it well infront of her babuji, she was never spared when alone. So, she knew she didn’t want to live without her Amma and Babuji and so, she said that “BabujiI don’t want to live without you… I want to come with you…”

Her Babuji held her cheeks in his palms and said “Bitiya don’t break our heart by saying or doing something like that. Your amma and I will always be with you wherever you are, if you hurt yourself, we will not be able to bear it. Give me your word you will try to live happily, please bitiya…”.She didn’t want to give her word, but she didn’t want to hurt the person she loved the most… so she gave him her word.

“So, bitiya if anything were to happen to me, Chandan kaka will call Subhadra and I know she or my sons will come. Give this letter and these papers to them.” She took the papers from him, wiped her tears and said “Babuji please no more, nothing will happen.” Her babuji just smiled and nodded and rana loving hand on her head. She was ired and she rested her face on his knee just like she used to do as a child.

This was just 10 days ago and today babuji had left her. She hadn’t cried, she was too numb to cry, all hope had left her world. She silently did what was expected of her but her body was present her soul was lost. I think it showed in her eyes because the usually cruel villagers were also less caustic with her remarks towards her. But they needn’t be, because she had lost all feeling and she had prepared for fate to through her to the dogs.

She sighed and hugged the photo tightly and closed her eyes sitting in a corner in the porch of their small house. While her babuji lay lifeless 10 feet away from her. Just then there was a lot of commotion and she saw a lot of new people had arrived into their courtyard. She didn’t care, she sat there in her own world in her own grief.

Someone was saying to her “The Raizadas have come, your babuji’s family has come.” She didn’t care… Her family had died today… she was an orphan again…

Chapter2:

Slowly the needful was done, she was jerked into reality when they said that they were ready to move her babuji… her heart broke and she ran to him and held on to his lifeless body begging him to come back, telling him that she was scared and she needed him… during the chaos she was gently but firmly pulled away from her babuji by strong arms and handed over to the women folk who were there. Warm arms enveloped her in a tight hug, in all the panic that she was in she still noticed the angelic face of the lady who was holding her. Then everything went black…

Arnav (24hours ago):

He was tired as hell… He leaned his head back on the seat tried to take a bit of a break, before he reached home. He was glad to be back home. He had just landed in Delhi an hour back and in this Delhi traffic it was taking forever to reach home, so he might as well grab a quick nap before he reached home. He had an unsettling gut feeling since he had landed.

He saw Aman in the front seat beside the driver informing someone on the phone that he had landed and were on the way home. Must be Di checking on him. A smile came to his lips always the mother. Ya he needed a nap before he reached home and had to explain to all of them why he was away for so long. He closed his eyes and sighed… he just wished this restless feeling that he had would go away.

“Sir” he heard Aman’s voice gently waking him up, “we are home.”

He scrunched his eyes and slowly opened them nodded to Aman who was holding the car door open for him. He got down and gave Aman some instructions for tomorrow and then told him to go home. It was Sunday and 9 AM and he knew this had been an equally hectic month for Aman with him being away.

As he walked into his home, he noticed that all his family had gathered in the living room, he knew they would be waiting for him. As soon as they were aware of his presence there were many questions flung in his direction. He sighed and handed over his coat and laptop case to Om Prakash and tried answering them as best as he could without blowing a fuse.

Finally, his Nani came to his rescue. “All of you stop it. It’s not like he went for so long for partying he was working and he is back home now. Stop this questioning and let him rest.”

He sighed and walked over to Nani and took her blessings and asked her about her health she looked at him and smiled and told him she was doing fine. His Nani always his solace in every storm, this was the only woman in his life who truly undoubtedly held the power to ask him to do anything and he would do it for her. He knew that and SHE knew that but the best thing was she never used that power on him and that is why he thought the world about this woman. She was his strength and his support.

Hari Prakash had bought coffee for all of them to the living room and he settled into the sofa and took his coffee, everyone was home and conversation was flowing steadily. He was just listening, they all were used to his way, they knew he didn’t like to talk much and liked to be alone most of the time. So, whenever he did sit with them, they took it as a great win and didn’t bother him more than necessary.

He looked around at his family, Nani was sitting with Lakshmi in her lap… he never understood her fascination with this goat… but hey he didn’t judge. Whatever made her happy he was fine with, that silly goat had even gone so far and eaten a couple of his important documents but was still surviving because of his Nani.

His life had been turbulent since he was 16 years old and his father had cheated on his mother and this dark secret had come out on his Di’s wedding day and his mother unable to cope with it had killed herself… his heart squeezed hard even now thinking about that day and his father had followed suit right there with her shot and himself too.

He never understood to this day why his father killed himself… if he was a cheater then why kill himself for a wife he never loved. And his mom his world, his friend, his everything had completely forgotten that she was a mother before she took that step… He was hurt he was furious the more he thought about his parents more agitated he got... He didn’t even notice that everyone in the room was looking at him he was so lost in his sorrow and his anger… It hurt like hell his past why… why did those thigs have to happen…

Just then he felt a warm hand on his shoulder, his temper cooled and his dark mood lifted…he knew who it was…. Turned and looked up his Di was looking down at him with a worried expression on her face and immediately he straightened up. Nothing absolutely nothing had the right to worry his Di, including himself. He had vowed as a young adult itself that he would be her guard against this world and he had done his best and made sure she never wanted for anything ever in her life. Hell, he had made sure her next 4 generations would have nothing to worry about.

He stood up smiled at her erasing all traces of his previous black thoughts and said “Hi Di, How are you?”  She continued looking at him with concern and said “Hum teek hai chote, how are you? Is everything alright?” He moved a little and guided her to sit on the sofa with him and said “Everything is fine Di. Did you come her alone?” He looked straight into her eyes when he answered her so she knew he was ok.

She sighed and smiled at him and held his face in her palm and patted him and said “ No Chote, your jijaji is here, he is on a call outside.” He nodded and sat down. He looked to see Mami gesturingly nod to Aakash and Aakash immediately got up and headed towards the front door. He sighed no matter how modern his Mami wanted to be and thought she was… she was through and through old school… he knew she had just gestured Aakash to go bring Jijaji inside, so he doesn’t feel ignored. She needed to show respect for this houses damaad. He smiled his Mami weird as she was with her words and actions, he knew she loved Di and him as much as she loved Aakash.

Her marriage to mama had been very turbulent as they had fallen in love and at that time his Nana was a stickler for class and money and had refused to accept their love. Nani had stepped in.. had begged, convinced and did everything possible to make them get married. Though it looked to an outsider that Mani and Nani had a turbulent relationship… he had yet to see a day where his Mami had disobeyed anything his Nani said. Also, how Mami silently made sure to keep track of Nani’s whereabouts, her food, her medication etc though she was at kitty parties, movies, shopping. But Mami never made a big deal of what she does she in-fact even takes taunts from Nani about her limitless social life but never ever tells Nani all she does for her.

Except for all that Mami does for his Nani… he could not have imagined his life without her... he could bet that no high-class bahu his Nana would have brought would have taken their sister-in-laws orphaned children into her home and given them love and made them feel loved in her own way. She was the one who gave her jewelry when he wanted to start a business and he was not able to get any lenders. So, if his Mami alone wanted to create a monthly bill that was equivalent to all other family members monthly bill total then he would gladly pay up without blinking. She deserved it and more importantly she had complete rights over his money.

He turned to see Aakash walking in with his Jeejaji both of them laughing over something but he saw Aaksh’s cheeks go red slowly at what jeejaji was saying. He frowned Aakash was blushing?? He needed to talk to Aakash soon, it’s been too long since he and Aakash had had a good talk with each-other. He felt he needed to catch up with things happening in his brother’s life soon…

Just then he noticed that the room had gone silent and everyone was looking towards Dadi’s room, Dadi had just come out of her room and she was looking ashen and confused.

 S**T!! this was it.. whatever he was going to hear from Dadi now was why he had this uneasy feeling since he landed… he knew in his conscience that whatever Dadi had to say would change his life….

Love ur story.pls don't stop, continue writing I am sure readers will come through....

Originally posted by: Aanaha

Love ur story.pls don't stop, continue writing I am sure readers will come through....

thank you next update soon...

Chapter 3:

 “Mr. Ranaji is no more, he passed away this morning in his sleep. He has been unwell for sometime.” Dadi said rather flatly. Everyone was shocked actually more like no one knew how to react. That man was never talked about in their house for any reason, more like talking about him was intentionally avoided.

Mama walked over to Dadi held her shoulders and walked her to the nearest sofa and gently made her sit down. Nani walked over sat beside dadi and out a warm hand around her shoulder. Now rest of the group though was not sure how to react including the usually suave ASR. This was relationship issues and that too way over his head. He looked to Nani for direction.

Nani caught his eye nodded and said “Subhadra what do you want to do? You tell us and we will do that.” Arnav nodded seconding his Nani. His sister ever the soft soul had already started sniffling and wiping her tears for a man who had betrayed them all. He almost rolled his eyes at her. Then he saw his Dadi look up at Anjali and saw that her eyes also slightly teared up. He frowned what the hell why would this woman even think about a man who never was there for her. He frowned and almost said it aloud.

 That moment his Dadi spoke “ He had no children other than Ajay and Aravind. Now even they are not in this world. Arnav will be the one who has to do the last rights. So we must go and Arnav needs to fulfill his duties.”

Then he lost it and was ready to say it out loud that he didn’t give a damn about his duties to that man. But Nani caught his eye and warned him not to speak now with her eyes and by shaking the head negatively at him. He fumed but controlled himself, he respected Nani too much to disobey her and also this situation was beyond something that Arnav could decipher it was more her forte. He left it to her judgement and left from there, to make arrangements for the family to leave for Morni immediately. He knew all of them would want to come.

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He reluctantly did all that he was supposed to do under the direction of his Nani and the pundit in that village. When they were ready to move the body, he saw a thin frail looking girl come and hold him and cry her heart out, that was the only moment he felt anything for this man. Since the girl showed no signs of moving, he gently but firmly held her and moved her away and handed her over to Anjali Di’s waiting arms. Trust his sister to openly embrace their worst enemies.

********************

Subhadra,

   I know you will be reading this letter soon. I know I don’t have much time left in this world. There is a lot I need to tell you, but my energy isn’t that much nowadays. So, I will tell you the tings that I absolutely need you to know.

I know our married life took different turn than the happy marriage that both of us wanted. I tried I really tried to be the man that you wanted for 12 years but I could never make you happy no matter how much I tried. It was not that one of us were right and the other was wrong, we were both right in our own ways. But what happened were we were very wrong for each other.

But I did the ultimate wrong by leaving you with our children and their responsibilities and just going away to look for my happiness. That was a sin that I committed, though I realized what I had done was wrong, I was too unsure and too young and immature to correct it. Truthfully speaking, Gowri was my soul mate, if I needed to correct my mistake that I did to you then it meant leaving her. But I know I would not have lived without her. Subhadra life is normal until a person meets their soulmate but once you have met them then nothing matters not this world, not its rules not money… nothing matters. You will not be bale to breath without that person by your side. I was blessed in this life time to find such love, because that is what it is it’s a blessing unfortunately for us it came in my life when you were already in it.

I stand by Gowri but we both have wronged you in the worst way possible. I will not make your sacrifice meaningless by apologizing in one or two sentences in this letter. All we have to say is we will pay our dues to you in the next lifetime, this is karma. Both me and Gowri ask for your forgiveness in this lifetime but we know in our hearts we will meet again and we will be dealt our punishments.

I was there when Aravind died in his college bus accident. Both me and Gowri came as soon as we got to know from a door ke rishtedaar. but by then Ajay had already done his final rights and we understood that you didn’t want us there. We paid our respects to you from far and left. All the way home my heart crushed at eh thought of leaving you alone in that pain, but I was helpless, I didn’t know if I came to you to console you if I will hurt you more by coming there.

I cried for our child, how much we had rejoiced the day he was born and not being with you when he was taken away from you was hurting so much I can not put into words. That is one of the days that I repented the path I had taken. That is also the day that it was clear to me the sin both Gowri and I had done to you. We repented together, she wanted me to leave her and go to you. But Subhadra I would not surrvived a day without her. Me and her were not two separate beings, we were one soul.

Then again I heard about Ajay’s death, this time I didn’t even try to come, as I didn’t have the courage to face the situation and you. I was shattered, I think this was God’s way of punishing me. I won’t give excuses because when a man can not do his duties then anything he says is nothing but excuses. I will just say this I have committed a great blunder towards you and I hope God punishes me accordingly. You are a brave, upstanding woman who did everything for her family unlike me, you deserved so much better than me. I won’t ask for forgiveness but I humbly ask you not to hate me.

Subhadra I am not done burdening you in this life time, I have one last favor to ask. I am leaving behind a girl that I brought up in this world all alone. She is an orphan, we found her abandoned in the fields. Gowri and I took her in and did the best we could do to bring her up. She is a sweet child and she brightened our last years in this world. She is just 18, if she was older I would have gotten her married and not burdened you more.

Subhadra please take her away from here, the village people are not kind to her, I wont ask you to keep her with you. You can put her in a hostel or anywhere, just guide her and be there for her when she needs to make important decisions in her life. I have this house and a few acres land in the village in her name. it is very little just sell it and use for her education, etc. If possible choose the right man for her.

She is a very gentle innocent soul, Subhadra I humbly ask you to not hate her because of me. She doesn’t even know about our past. I will tell her today when I give her this letter. Please I beg you to do this one last thing for me.

Her name is Khushi… if you see her smile, you will know why we named her that. Please look at her as an innocent in this and not as a person who is attached to me.

I am taking your leave now Subhadra…

Your gunehar,

Rana Raizada

Pls update yaar......waiting for Khushi and Arnav scenes dear,pretty please.....please.....

Congratulations on new story. Great start. 

Khushi's mom is no more. She seems to be a bubbly character

While Arnav has extremely dark past

His dad was accused of cheating and commited s**cide?

Hope Khushi will bring happiness back in Arnav's life

Waiting for more

chapter 1

She was so lucky that she was found by such loving people.

She lost her parents for the second time. Is she now supposed to go live with the other family?

chapter 2

Arnav comes home after a long time it seems. He has too many memories that haunt him.