Kabhi18 thumbnail
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Posted: 1 years ago

Rewatching YHM and now that I'm older I realize what a toxic, misogynist, and abusive person Raman is. Despite his hurt and trauma, it doesn't justify his behaviour towards Ishita and even his other family members. Having trauma doesn't give you the right to treat others like dirt. People justify him because he's 'misunderstood.' Again, that doesn't justify his behaviour and the way he speaks. Nor does saying he's a 'flawed' character justify it.

The dude tried raping his wife. That's not cute. That's not romantic.

I might have offended some people here but it needs to be said (it probably was in the past but I don't remember if I visited this forum back than).

ITV loves to romanticize toxic male characters. Shame on Ekta Kapoor for being a woman herself and showing this crap.

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Pyaricetamol thumbnail
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Posted: 1 years ago

His character got ruined later on (since Mani's track) and I agree with it. But his character wasn't toxic in the beginning. Yes he had issues..but I wouldn't categorize them as "misogynistic" or "abusive" as you put it. And I wouldn't put him in the league of the other angry young men of TV, cos I used to always find the FL of such shows to be meek and submissive. In YHM, the power dynamics were pretty balanced. It never seemed like Raman or Ishita dominated each other. They used to seem like two equals sorting out their issues, getting to know each other, and bringing out the best of each other..

I know opinions might differ, but Raman had a lot of character growth in the initial 250 episodes-from someone who didn't believe in love to someone who could sacrifice his career to bring back his wife's license. And he was a really well written and layered character in the initial days. 

Edited by Pyaricetamol - 1 years ago
Kabhi18 thumbnail
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Posted: 1 years ago
Originally posted by: Pyaricetamol

His character got ruined later on (since Mani's track) and I agree with it. But his character wasn't toxic in the beginning. Yes he had issues..but I wouldn't categorize them as "misogynistic" or "abusive" as you put it. And I wouldn't put him in the league of the other angry young men of TV, cos I used to always find the FL of such shows to be meek and submissive. In YHM, the power dynamics were pretty balanced. It never seemed like Raman or Ishita dominated each other. They used to seem like two equals sorting out their issues, getting to know each other, and bringing out the best of each other..

I know opinions might differ, but Raman had a lot of character growth in the initial 250 episodes-from someone who didn't believe in love to someone who could sacrifice his career to bring back his wife's license. And he was a really well written and layered character in the initial days. 


Making casual sexist remarks about women, whether done in a light-hearted manner, over and over again IS misogynistic. The power dynamics actually were not balanced as multiple times at the beginning Raman would say that Ishita should do something because it's her duty as a wife etc. Yes Ishita would speak back, but she would be shut down by people including Raman, Toshi, Simi sometimes...Yelling at everyone because they don't understand you IS abusive as well. 

It might be difficult to criticize the character due to being attached, but he was a problematic character imo.

Pyaricetamol thumbnail
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Posted: 1 years ago
Originally posted by: Kabhi18


Making casual sexist remarks about women, whether done in a light-hearted manner, over and over again IS misogynistic. The power dynamics actually were not balanced as multiple times at the beginning Raman would say that Ishita should do something because it's her duty as a wife etc. Yes Ishita would speak back, but she would be shut down by people including Raman, Toshi, Simi sometimes...Yelling at everyone because they don't understand you IS abusive as well. 

It might be difficult to criticize the character due to being attached, but he was a problematic character imo.

we clearly see things very differently cos to be honest Raman's humour was what I enjoyed the most in the show. Like he used to make fun of Ishita being a dentist very often, but when her medical license gets revoked, he speaks about how much he respects Ishita's passion to treat people. Till very long in the show, he never appreciated ishita directly, he would always mix it up with his one liners..I remember two instances- when ishita delivers pooja's baby and when she gives punjabi speech. Both the times he appreciates her but indirectly with his usual oneliners. I guess humour is just Raman's comfort zone.So I dont read too much into it. Again the rest of the part you wrote about power dynamics- I dont agree with it. Ishita many times could shut Raman up and set him straight. He did commit mistakes but he had a good redemption arc. (After time slot change his character did get f*cked up so not gonna defend that😆)

@BOLD : Trust me it is not😆Yeah I like him but that doesnt blind my objectivity. Its just that we both perceive him differently. So lets just agree to disagree.

Aditi_X thumbnail
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Posted: 1 years ago

Yes.... As much as I loved Raman and Ishita as a couple, I was always bothered by how callous and rude Raman was (even in the beginning). There was a sweet spot after their marriage where he changed for good, but all that went downhill after the time slot change.