CHAPTER 6
CLIMBING THE ROPE
Karan frowned, pausing and taking a few steps back to look at the figure clearly. Average heighted, clearly feminine. He tilted his head slightly, face falling to one of annoyance when he recognized the built.
"Monami", Karan called, sighing.
"S-Sir?"
"Tumhe maine kaha tha, na, training room mein 0555 hours se pehle toh bilkul bhi report nahi karna. Abhi 0533 hours huye hain. You're early."
"S-sir, aa-aapne kaha tha k-ki training r-room ke andar 0555 hours s-se p-pehle nahi aa s-sakti, p-par m-main toh b-bahar hoon", she said. "T-technically, r-report nahi k-kara abhi."
He turned his gaze skywards. What could he even say to that? He sighed. "Chalo andar. Bahar rehne ki zaroorat nahi hai."
She followed him quietly, sitting down on the ground and watching him set the equipment.
"Waise, Rani Sahiba, agar aap Sanju ke alarm se uth bhi jaati hain, toh dobara so jaaya kariye", he said. "0500 hours par sabhi cadets ke liye alarm bajta hai. Ya aapko apne aap ko zyaada hi thakaana achha lagta hai?"
"Ek b-baar u-uthne k-ke baad m-mujhe n-neend nahi aa-aati",she said. "S-Sir? Aap m-mujhe R-Rani Sahiba k-kyun bulate hain?"
He looked over his shoulder, before returning to his work. "Kyun?Tum nahi ho Rani Sahiba? Rich, sab logon ko order karti hogi, ghar mein apne servants ka ek poora mehel lekar ghoomti hogi." He turned around, crossing his arms, and staring down at her. "Nahi?"
She tilted her head, merely staring back in confusion. "P-paison se th-thodi na k-koi r-rani banta hai, d-dil se b-banta hai."
He rolled his eyes, turning back around and checking the weights. "Monami, tumhari yeh philosophical baaton ke liye bahut jaldi hai. Subah ke 5:30 baj rahe hain. Jo bolna hai seedha seedha bolo. Ho sake, toh bina atke."
"R-Rani woh n-nahi j-jiske paas b-bahut paison ho. R-Rani woh j-jo apne l-logon, apni m-mitti k-ke liye apni jaan bh-bhi de sakti hai", she said. He paused, eyebrows furrowing slightly. "R-Rani w-woh nahi j-jo s-sirf h-hukum deti ho. R-Rani woh j-jiska h-har hukum a-apne desh aur apne l-logon ki bh-bhalai mein ho. P-paison mein p-palne se k-koi rani n-nahi banta. Raniyan a-apni s-s-strength se banti hain. Rani w-woh jo apne d-desh ke liye j-jeeti ho, a-aur d-desh ke liye m-m-mar jaati ho."
He turned around, staring at her in surprise, only to find her gazing thoughtfully in a distance. He had a feeling the words meant something more to her that he couldn't understand yet, but... what?
He turned around, kneeling down and checking the other equipment, but half his attention stayed at her lost words, which hung in the silence between them.
'Mujhe toh laga yeh doctor hai', he thought silently. 'Yeh toh philosophy class ki teacher ki tarah lecture de rahi thi. Kuch samajh hi nahi aata iska toh. Kab kya kar de, bol de, kise pata? Poori tarah se paagal hai.'
---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---
“Inki fitness par bahut kaam karna hai”, Faizi commented, sitting on the bed. Karan sighed.
“Yeh basic cheezen bhi sikhaani padh rahi hain- rope climbing, wire obstacle. 3 saal mein inhe itna achha banana hai ki terrorist ke base ke andar ghuskar unko maar paaye.” He shook his head, rubbing his face. “Terrorists ke dimaag mein kaise ghusna hai, kaise unhe manipulate karna, kaise aadhi information se conclusions nikaalne hai, kaise kisi bhi situation mein survive karna hai, yeh sab kab sikhayenge, jab inhe yeh sab bhi sikhaana padega ki bandook kaise pakadni hai.”
“Tum itni tension mat lo. Do din hue hain training shuru hue. Itni jaldi results expect mat karo.”
He shook his head. “Expect nahi kar raha, Faizi. Bas inka haal dekhkar yeh lag raha hai ki…” He sighed. “Chodh. Wo spy waali baat ka kya hua? Kuchh pata chala?”
“Nahi.” He sighed. “Kaafi doston ke saath mile, baat kari. Par tumhe bhi pata hai soldiers se information nikalna kitna mushkil kaam hai. Sab pakad lenge hum kuchh aur puchh rahe hain agar kuchh direct puchhenge. Toh, abhi toh kuchh bhi nahi mila. Abhi bhi ek aur dost se milne hi jaa rahe hain. Thoda touch mein rahenge toh shayad jaldi kuchh pata chal jaaye. Hum milkar aate hain.”
Faizi stood up, leaving the room as he texted someone. Karan heaved another sigh, falling back on his bed and closing his eyes. His phone vibrated in his pocket, and he pulled it, accepting the call with closed eyes.
“Hello?”
“Chachu!”
He smiled immediately, opening his eyes. “Baby.”
“Aap ghar kab aa rahe ho? Mumma keh rahi thi ki aap ab academy mein hi ho. Toh milne kyun nahi aa rahe?”
“Kaam hai, na, baccha, isliye nahi aa paa raha. Jaise hi thoda free hota hoon, main aata hoon aur phir hum kya karenge?”
She giggled. “Bahut saari masti karenge, aur cartoon dekhenge.”
“That’s right. Good girl!”
He suddenly heard his Bhabhi in the background. Karan waited for a few seconds before his Bhabhi’s voice came over. “Sorry, Karan, tum kaam kar lo. Maine kaha tha Baby ko ki raat ko call kar lena par isse sabar kahan hota hai. Tum disturb toh nahi hue, na?”
“Nahi, nahi, Bhabhi. It’s okay. Main bilkul disturb nahi hua. In fact, bura din jaa raha tha, uski awaaz sun li, thoda better ho gaya.”
“Bura din kyun? Aao, ghar aao. Main tumhaare liye tumhaari favourite dishes banaati hoon. Saara mood achha ho jayega. Aur apni iss ladli ke saath bhi khel lena.”
He sighed. “I wish aa paata, Bhabhi. Par bahut kaam hai. Kisi aur din aata hoon.” He smiled slightly. “Par meri favourite dishes nahi hui, toh main chala jaunga.”
She laughed. “Tum aao toh sahi. Saari favourite cheezen banaugi.”
“Bhaiya kahan hain?”
“Wo kamre mein hain”, she answered. “Apne laptop par likh rahe hain. Wo hi toh karte rehte hain.” She chuckled.
He smiled slightly. A knock made him glance up. Ustaad ji. He sat up. “Bhabhi, main thodi der mein call karta hoon. Thoda kaam hai.”
“Haan, theek hai. Baby bhi bye bol rahi hai aur keh rahi hai ki jab free hoge, toh use call karna. Use tumhe bahut kuchh bataana hai.”
He chuckled. “Ji, Bhabhi. Free hote hi call karta hoon.” He disconnected the call, looking at Ustaad ji.
“Sir ji, aapko Batra Sir ji ne apne cabin mein bulaaya hai.”
Karan nodded, suppressing a sigh. ‘Mission ki file deni hogi.’ Back to work, it is.
---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---
“Monu bro, tujhe…” Sanju looked up. Sid trailed off, looking around the room. “Sorry. I thought Monu yahin hogi.”
“Uske kapdon par paani gir gayo tha. Badalne gayo hai”, she answered.
Sid chuckled, sitting on Monami’s bed. “Uska kuchh nahi ho sakta. Monu bachpan se hi aise hai. Hamesha idhar se udhar girti rehti hai aur cheezen giraati rehti hai.” He laughed slightly. “Aapko pata hai, Monu ka, na, yeh talent hai. Wo baithe baithe gir sakti hai. Crazy, right?”
Sanju chuckled. “Ek baat bata? Yeh bolti kaahe ke laane naa hai? Sirf kaam ki baat karti hai.”
“Wo toh aapke saath hai. Mere saath toh bolti hai wo.” He shrugged. “Logon se darr lagta hai use. Nervous ho jaati hai.” He shook his head. “Aap yeh sab chodiye.” He tilted his head, smiling at her. “Tell me about yourself.”
“Humaare baare mein? Kaa jaanna hai tune? Aur kaahe?”
“Main toh bas aise hi puchh raha tha.Conversation aise hi toh karte hain. That’s how you get to know people. Aise hi toh friendship hoti hai. Nahi bataana, toh koi baat nahi. No pressure.”
“Humaare baare mein bataane ke laane kuchh zyaada naa hai”, Sanju said.
He hopped to his feet. “I don’t believe that. Sab logon ke paas bahut kuchh hota hai bataane ke liye. Aapke sapne kya hai, aap life mein kya karne chahte ho, aapne life mein kya kara hai.” He pointed to her, smiling. “And you know what? Aise hi aapko aisa person mil jaata hai jisse aapki soul join ho jaati hai.”
“Soul join matlab?” She frowned.“Aatma… milan… kya?”
“Matlab… koi aisa mil jaata hai jo… jo aapko bahut achha lagne lagta hai, jisse aap… aap connect karte ho, you know. Uss person ko understand karte ho. Unse pyaar karte ho. Logon ko lagta hai pyaar bataakar aata hai. Kuchh dramatic sa hoga. Par actually, pyaar kahin se bhi, kabhi bhi aa sakta hai. Love doesn’t come knocking, it sneaks up on you.”
“Tujhe toh batero tajurba hogo.”
He frowned. “I am sorry, what’s…tajuba?”
“Tajuba nahi, tajurba. Matlab…experience?”
“Oh. Nahi, nahi, experience nahi hai. Pyaar ka toh nahi hai. Girlfriends thi, mind you, but never very serious, you know. But har cheez mein experience ki need nahi hoti. You just have to look around. Logon ko feel karo, aur…” He glanced away, his smile dropping slightly. “Aur bina wo experience kare bhi, samajh aa jaata hai ki log kya feel kar rahe hain. Kabhi kabhi kisi khushi, aur kabhi kabhi kisi ka pain.”
Sanju tilted her head slightly. His eyes had glazed over a little, seemingly wandering off in some memory as he talked. “Chirkut?” He didn’t even blink. “Siddharth!”
His head snapped to her. “Kya?” He shook his head. “Sorry.” He stood up. “I should go. Bye.”
She stared after him. “Achaanak ka ho gayo ise?”
---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---
“Monami”, Karan said, gesturing her closer. She walked up nervously, clutching the rope. She glanced back at Sid, who nodded encouragingly. “Aaj ke din hi karna hai, Rani Sahiba. Yeh academy aapki viraasat ka hissa nahi hai. Sab aapke liye intezaar nahi karenge. Hurry up!”
She nodded. Sid winced as she barely could hold herself on it for some seconds before falling to the ground.
“Up and again, cadet!” Karan barked.
Sid winced again, in sympathy, as she fell down on the mat on her butt. She looked back at the cadets who stared at her, and Sid almost sighed when he noticed her hands starting to shake.
“Again!” Karan barked. Sid winced, looking away, as Monami fell to the ground over and over again. “Ruk ja, Sanju. Monami, up and again!”
He clenched his fists, hearing the gasp of pain after the sound of thud, looking up. Karan was glaring at Monami, who was clutching her shoulder. Even at a distance, Sid could see the tears that had gathered up in her eyes. He resisted the urge to run up to her and hug her close, just taking a deep breath to control his anger.
"Yeh koi outdoor adventure sports ka camp nahi hai", Karan said, annoyance only growing when she blinked back innocently with her wide eyes. "Training academy hai. Sanju, infirmary lekar jaa ise."
Sanju held a hand out to her. Monami looked between the two trainers, before pushing herself to her feet with her uninjured arm.
---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---
"Yeh Karan Sir tujhse koi personal dushmani nikaal rahe hain kya?"Sid asked, pacing in the room. Monami looked up from the ice pack she had kept on her arm. He ran a hand through his hair. "Tu hi ek toh thi nahi jisse hua nahi. Adhe se zyaada nahi kar paaye. Toh tujhe hi kyun sunaaya?"
"Sid, bro, tu gussa kyun ho raha hai?"
"Bro, tere shoulder par chot lagi hai uss angry bird in human form ki wajah se."
"Unki wajah se nahi, bro. Aur thodi bahut lag bhi gayi, toh kya hua? Military academy hai. Cakewalk thodi naa hogi. Agar kisi ka gussa bhi tolerate nahi kar sakti, toh desh ke liye kaise goliyan tolerate kar loongi?”
Sid sighed, sitting down next to her. "Yeah, tu sahi keh rahi. Par…"
"Jab Papa hi nahi maante ki main ek commando ban sakti hoon, toh uss Khadoos se main kyun yeh expect karoongi ki woh kuch samjhega? Par... par Papa ko, uss Khadoos ko, in sab ko prove karne ke liye main kuch nahi karna chahti, Sid. Mujhe ek commando banna hai. Apne desh ke liye kuch karna hai mujhe. As long as Karan Sir mujhe baaki sab ki tarah train karein dhang se, thoda bahut sunne mein mujhe koi problem nahi hai."
"Aur agar jo bhi problem hai, uski wajah se tujhe dhang se train nahi kara toh?"
"Nahi, bro", she said, clicking her tongue. "Dekh, main unhe bahut achhe se nahi jaanti, par I think ki woh apni duty ko lekar serious hain. Matlab... jo bhi unhe personally lagta hai woh sab ek taraf, par unki duty hai hume train karna, aur mujhe nahi lagta ki woh us duty mein beimaani karega. I think he is sincere towards his duty, bro. Tu hi bata raha tha, na, ki sab log Karan Sir ki deshbhakti ki academy mein kitni praise karte hain.”
Sid sighed. "Par agar unhone tujhe dhang se train nahi kara, toh main suna doonga unhe. Aur official complain bhi kar doonga."
She smiled. "Haan, Sid. Kar dena. Par tu bekaar mein tension le raha hai. Ab jaa. Warna baaki cadets bura maan jayenge. Tum log sab hang out karne wale the, na?"
"Oh haan. Main toh bhool hi gaya tha. Chal, bye", he said. He kissed her head, before running out of the room towards the mess.
Her smile dropped as soon as he left the room, wincing as she moved her arm gently.
‘Ek number ka khadoos, akdu, sadu insaan. Insaan nahi, alien hai wo. Alien. Ek baar koi scalpel de de. Kaat kar pata lagaungi ki red blood hai ya blue. Aur yeh bhi ki ribcage ke andar heart hai ya patthar. Insaanon mein toh feelings hoti hain, na?Haan, hoon main rich background se. Rich family se hoon, mars ke emotionless alien species ki family se nahi ki apni country ke liye emotions nahi rakh sakti. Kahan likha hai rich log commandos nahi ban sakte? Usi aag mein jalaa dungi uss ghatiya statement ko jis mein uss Khadoos ne humaari cheezen jalaayi thi.
Duty achhi karta hai toh kya? Saath mein nice hone ka extra tax lagta hai? Wo toh Sid ko calm down karna tha, isliye meethi meethi baatein bol di. Par usko toh karele se bhi kadwi cheez khilaane ka mann kar raha hai. Main ek achhi commando banoongi. Aur yeh baat uss Khadoos Shergill ko bhi acknowledge karni padegi. Agar itne se mein hi haar maan gayi, toh kaisi commando? Wo rope toh main chadh kar rahoongi.’
---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---
"Sir ji, iss baar sabhi cadets ek se ek atrangi aaye hain", Ustaad ji said as Karan walked alongside him, files in the former's hands. It was just a little past 5 and the cadets were officially done for the day, which also meant that the trainers were done for the day. "Aisa lag raha ki jhunnu wale baba ke baste se nikal kar aaye hain."
Karan grinned, as amusement swell up in him. "Jhunnu wale baba ka basta", he repeated, chuckling. "Ustaad Ji, aap aur aapki dictionary."
Movement caught his eye, and he paused, frowning as he peeked inside the training room. Monami slipped from the rope, falling to the mat down. She sat up again though, clutching her injured arm tiredly, and sighing, beforestanding up.
"Sir ji, kuch bhi kaho", Ustaad ji said, and he turned hishead slightly to acknowledge him. "Iss ladki mein jazbaa bilkul faujiyon waala hai. Haar nahi maanti." He looked at him wordlessly, contemplating his words. "Main yeh rakh kar aaya", he said, and Karan nodded, turning back to Monami, just to see her fall again on the mat. She pushed herself to her feet again, clutching the rope again, and pulling herself up again.
3 tries later, Karan finally leaned back from the window, quietly walking into the training room, watching her. She showed no signs of stopping, and he could see the sweat making her clothes stick to her, now that he was closer, before her hand slipped again. He reached out, clutching her waist, and she looked down, eyes wide.
He pushed her back, nodding above to the rope, and she pulled herself up just a little bit more, before her hands slipped again, and she fell through the air.
His arms shot out, catching her, and she blinked with her wide eyes, staring at him. Her breaths were uneven, sweat clearly on her face and body, and he could tell she had been at it for quite some time now.
He bent down, gently keeping her down, before moving to the rope, and looking up. He clutched it, and climbed up flawlessly, a little slowly though so she could see him properly. He looked down, clutching the rope with a single hand, gesturing with the other for her to come up.
She clutched the rope, her hands close to his feet, and from his vintage point, he could see the effort on her face, as she pulled herself up slowly. His presence on the rope made it swing less, making it easier for her to balance, and he saw satisfactorily that her posture was way better than before. She pulled herself opposite him, eyes lighting up as she stared at him, and then down at the ground.
A beautiful smile spread on her face, and Karan couldn't help the smile on his own face, staring at her. Her eyes were lit up bright, and she looked between the ground and him, pure happiness on her face.
---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---
“Kal sabka ek test lete hain”, Karan said randomly.
“Kya?” Faizi asked in surprise, looking up from the plan they had just finished reviewing for the cadets’ training. He glanced at Sanju and Ustaad ji, who looked as startled at the sudden declaration as him. “Test? Kis cheez ka?”
“Rope climbing”, he said. “Dekhein toh sahi, kaun kitna fast chadh sakta hai aur kaun kaun chadh sakta hai.”
He frowned. “Karan, agar tum yeh apni waali ko-”
“Kya meri waali, meri waali lagaakar rakha hai?” He snapped. “Monami naam hai uska.” He rolled his eyes. “Kal hum ek test lenge. Theek hai ya koi problem hai?”
“Theek hai, Sir ji”, Sanju said, glancing at the other two. “Test le leto hain.”
He pulled out his phone. “Mujhe Baby ko call karna hai. Main call karke aaya.”
The other three stared after him, before turning to one another in confusion.
“Yeh test ek dum se kyun?” Faizi asked. “Kuchh kaha isne aap dono ko?”
“Sir ji, wo Karan Sir ji waali ladki hai, na? Monami?” Ustaad ji said. “Thodi der pehle ise training room mein dekha tha maine aur Karan Sir ji ne, rope climbing ki practice karte hue. Mujhe kuchh kaam tha, par Karan Sir ji wahin ruke the. Kaafi dilchaspi se dekh rahe the use.”
Their eyebrows shot up. “Toh Karan Sir ji yeh Monami ki wajah se test le raho hain?” Sanju asked. She shook her head. “Yeh Karan Sir ji Monami ke peechhe kaahe ke laane pad gayo hain?”
“Hume sab samajh aa raha hai ab”, Faizi said, leaning back on his hands.
“Sir ji, phir thodi kripa humpar bhi barsa dijiye”, Ustaad ji said.
Sanju nodded. “Haan, Sir ji. Pehle lago tha ki Monami sundar hai, Karan Sir ji ko pasand aa gayo hogi. Par Sir ji toh usko aise dekhto hain jaise…jaise…”
“Jaise Karan kisi lambe aur mushkil mission se waapas aaya ho, chaar din se khaana nahi khaaya ho, aur Dilbagh ji ki biryani bani ho. Aur wo khaane hi waala hota hai, ki Monami uska khaana le leti hai. Wo uss moment mein Monami ko jaise dekhega, wo waise dekhta hai.”
“Ka? Faizi Sir ji! Aap kahan se kahan pahunch jaate ho”, Sanju complained. She paused. “Waise… dekhte toh kuchh aiso hi hain.”
“Hum bilkul sahi jagah pahunchte hain.”
“Par Sir ji, hum log nahi pahunch paate”, Ustaad ji said. “Agar pata hai, toh kripa kijiye ki Karan Sir ji aisa ajeeb sa bartaav kyun kar rahe hain?”
Faizi smiled. “Arey, bahut simple hai. Tumhe toh pata hi hai ki Karan ko ameerzaadon se kitni dikkat hoti hai. Ab Sid ko toh usne iss category se hataa diya yeh jaankar ki wo apni maa ki yaadon ki kitni kadar karta hai, par Monami abhi bhi usi category mein hai. Ab Karan ke paas koi solid wajah hai nahi Monami ko hate karni ki aur naa Monami usko koi solid wajah de rahi hai ki Karan use iss category se bahar nikaale. Karan usse nafrat karna chahta hai, par use koi wajah hi nahi mil rahi. Ulta, Monami aise kaam kar rahi hain jisse wo impress ho raha hai, jaise yeh rope climbing. Toh isliye use chidh ho rahi hai, aur wo saari chidh wo Monami par nikaalta hai. Par saath mein, shayad use thoda bahut proud bhi feel ho raha hai ki uska koi cadet itna achha kar raha hai.”
Sanju and Ustaad ji stared at him, repeating his words in their heads.
“Samjhe?” Faizi grinned. He stood up. “Ab hum toh chale sone. Bahut thak gaye hain hum.”
Ustaad ji tilted his head. “Toh matlab… Karan Sir ji Monami ko pasand nahi karna chahte hain, aur Monami aise kaam karti hai jisse wo use pasand karte hain, aur iss wajah se wo use pasand nahi karte hain?”
“Ka? Ka bol gayo Sir ji?”
---x---x---x---x---x---x---x---
"Monami", Karan called, and the figure looked up from her shoes that she was fiddling with idly. He nodded wordlessly to the door, and she stood up, following him inside.
He didn't comment on her presence, and like the past few days, she sat watching him quietly, her hands under her chin. The silence between them was comfortable this time around though, and the time flew by in silence, till his trainers and the rest of the cadets piled in, and Monami went to stand in the middle of the lines, easily merging in.
"Aaj ek chota sa test lete hain", Karan called, after their morningroutine of basic warm ups. He crossed his arms, walking up to the rope. "Aap teen din se yeh rope ki practice kar rahe hain. I want to see ki kaun kaun is par chad sakte hain, aur kitni jaldi. Dariye mat, isse aapke academy mein hone mein koi farak nahi padega. Sirf aapki progress aur pick up dekhna hai." He looked around at everyone's faces. "Is that clear?"
"Yes sir", they echoed back, and Karan nodded.
"Suman ji, you're first", Faizi announced, and Karan stepped back, as Suman ji stepped forward.
It was both irritating and tiring to see them try and climb the rope. Some passed, but they were rare and it took them forever to reach the top. Who took 6 entire minutes to climb up this short of a rope? They weren't even toldto climb all the way up. But whatever, at least they passed.
"Siddharth", Karan barked, and he stepped up. Siddharth glanced back, and Karan followed his gaze to find him looking at Monami, who was giving him a small smile and a thumbs up, before he turned to the rope, and clutched it.
"Go", Faizi said, starting the timer.
Karan tilted his back slightly, watching him. He struggled but he wasn’t half bad at climbing it. Did he practice after class like Monami too? He glanced at his watch. It wasn’t good but for new recruits, it was acceptable.
"Good job", Faizi said, and Sid nodded, giving him a grin and thumbs up, returning to his place, a bounce in his step.
"Monami", Karan called, and Monami moved to the rope, clutching it. He was waiting for her turn. He really wanted to see if she would be able to do it again, after last night. Did she stay in the training room after he had disappeared post their mutual rope climb? Or was that one time climb enough to stow her determination away?
"Chal", Sanju said, starting the timer. She immediately pulled herself up on the rope, and Karan watched with satisfaction, as her posture and form was almost flawless and she pulled herself up quickly. 'Oh yeah, she practiced again', Karan thought, stifling the small smile.
"Yeh toh bandariya ki tarah chad gayi", Suman ji said, as everyone stared up at her, hanging from the rope. She looked at Karan, and he nodded, and she climbed down, jumping down the last couple of feet. He didn't need to look at the timer to know she was the fastest one yet. There was definitely loads of room for improvement but she was okay.
She turned to Karan, and the question of approval didn't need to be spoken for Karan to be understood. He nodded and she exhaled, turning around and falling back in line.
“Chitra”, Faizi called.
Karan’s eyes wandered back to Monami. She was a spoiled, privileged kid, but maybe, she wasn’t all that bad.
Maybe.
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