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atominis thumbnail
Posted: 2 years ago

I agree commoners are no saints. But they have it harder in marriages and divorces compared to celebs partly due to family pressure, social pressure and partly due to lack of financial resources to manage alone or get into legal proceedings for divorce, remarriage etc.

A common man is gonna have it much harder and cannot move from one relation to another like Aamir or Kamal Haasan, leaving behind kids also. 

People do compare spouses. Not only spouses but even rest of family begins to compare previous DIL, aunt, uncle, sister in law, wife. That pressure is very hard to deal with for the second wife/husband. 

I know someone personally whose MIL still keeps comparing her to her previous DIL. Her in laws were not in favour of their son's divorce and loved their first DIL. But divorce happened anyway. Their son remarried after a decade of staying single. Still till date they taunt him for leaving his first wife and marrying another one. They keep comparing looks, skill, personality of their current DIL with former one even after so many years. 

That is kind of exasperating for their current DIL who tries hard to fit in and be accepted for who she is. 

Even the rest of their family keeps recalling their previous aunt, sister in law and asks why the man left first wife at all. Apparently the first wife had great relation with whole family and family still cannot come to terms with their divorce and keeps mocking the man for leaving first wife.

This baggage is part of such relationships. This is what I hinted at when I talked of starting on a clean slate.

Even Dutt sisters did not approve of Sanjay's third wife Manyata given her background as dancer in B grade films. They had better relations with Sanjay's first 2 wives. The fallout was rather public and Sanjay got angry, telling his sisters that they had no right to comment on legacy of Dutt family as they are married now and no longer Dutts. He got lot of flak for that remark. 

Marrying such men/into such families comes with its own challenges. 

For that matter whenever, if at all, Salman decides to marry, he too will be starting on a clean slate as there is no past DIL, aunt, sister in law for rest of family to compare to. 

It is less public in celebs but in real life kids also often blame new man or woman in life of their parents as a reason for breaking their family or distancing them from their parents. Lot of kids dislike their step mom or step dad or resent their parent for marrying someone else, not staying together for their sake. It is not easy for families to handle such situations. It requires lot of emotional labour, patience and sensitivity to deal with such matters. 

Deols totally stay away from Hema and more or less avoid her daughters also. Even if they interact, they interact with daughters Esha and Ahana on a formal level but not with Hema. 

That's always a tight rope to walk. It is never easy for any family be it commoners or celebs. 

Sometimes it becomes worse for celebs as they and their kids get trolled a lot or asked uncomfortable questions by media. Sunny, Bobby and Dharam have often fought with media when asked questions about Hema, Esha and Ahana.

I have only seen Arjun and Jhanvi together at talk shows. Otherwise in past, Sunny, Bobby would never be seen anywhere with Esha and Ahana. 

It's all about how much people are willing to handle and balance. It's not easy to walk the tight rope.

Mahisa_22 thumbnail
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Posted: 2 years ago

Originally posted by: atominis

I have clarified already what kind of high society playboys I had referred to. 

In multiple posts I clarified. Not my problem if someone did not want to read.

Anyway no matter how it sounds, nobody is going to be excited for third wedding of men like Aamir Khan, Kamal Haasan, Sanjay Kapur and I can only extend my best wishes for women who decide to marry such men and all hard work they will have to do handling such men, striking a good rapport with their previous 2 wives who are in touch as co parents or handling a sensitive balance in relating to their growing kids from first 2 marriages. 

And no one is excited when men of grandpa age like Kabir Bedi marry girls of their grand daughter's age. 

No one is gonna be excited for third wedding of Shweta Tiwari and how the new couple will be handling her 2 kids from first 2 marriages. 

Anyone can marry who they want, at any stage of life they want. That is their freedom of choice.

But anyone can opine or stay clear of people enmeshed in relations with disloyal, abusive rich brats as well. 

So exercising my FoE, I reiterate I am glad Anushka, Deepika, Katrina, Sonam have married men closer to their age and with no past baggage or legal issues like Sridevi, Hema etc did in past or clamouring to be third wife of people like Aamir, Kamal and Sanjay Kapur. 


Like I said a million times earlier, I was referring to your use of generalised terms. And no, you clarified much later that you were talking about only a certain kind of men. Before that, you were using general terms which fits all divorcees.


Anyway, I'm glad you clarified. Let's end this discussion here.