Do you guys agree with Mumtaz's take on Boney/Sridevi? - Page 3

Originally posted by: BlackWitch

But are we qualified to judge someone else's failure? It has failed if one spouse does not want to continue the marriage. That's really all it takes to consider it done and dusted. 

I'm not judging though I'm saying IF it hadn't already failed this whole Hema episode is problematic.   

@ Bold. Not necessarily.  People cheat even when their marriage is fine and healthy.  If I shoplift it needn't mean I'm poor , it could also be a case of me  being  greedy.  

Originally posted by: BlackWitch

True. My father's second wife didn't want him to see me. More than her, I blame him for not having a spine. That's how I know abandonment pretty well. 

Yeah he is to be blamed for not standing up to her.  :( .  Just because his marriage with your mum ended it doesn't mean anything had to change between you and him.  

My father's second wife doesn't want him to meet me either even though she doesn't let on  and I'm not complaining. He's not easy to deal with.   When he remarried my mother was like "Omg thank goodness. At least now he'd stop stalking me ".  

I don't know how the courts operated in that time, but I do believe people should have the right to choose who to stay together with for life. No matter the reason to separate, they should have the right to separate.

I agree it is morally grey. I am just saying that he had the right to move on and decide who he wants to live with. In that all shades of grey scenario, I think he did the best that he could for everyone concerned. He wasn't obligated to bear an unhappy life with his first wife. No one should have to. He didn't even shirk his responsibility. He gave Prakash a good life, he took care of all his kids. I think it was grey, and I also think it was life. 

Point is that you CAN choose to spend your life with anyone at any point of your life, even you're married. The point of marriage isn't bondage, like I have mentioned before. It is a CHOICE to be together. If any of the two people don't want to be together for ANY reason, they are free to do so. Taking away that right from a person is akin to bondage. For Dharmendra, Hema wasn't just a temptation. He fell in love with her and wanted to marry her. She wasn't a passing fling that he had to "resist." She was someone he wanted to spend his life with. 

Originally posted by: TrollikaDevi

Something being legal doesn't make it right. Secondly if the first wife had contested he may not have gotten divorce that easily. 

It IS abandonment  in a way if you just announce you've fallen in love with another person and are leaving your spouse.   If your marriage hadn't failed already , leaving your spouse for somebody else is adultery even if you seek the legal route.  Think of Prakash in this case. An Indian woman from back then, with two kids facing the prospect of being a divorcee and being single  just because her husband found 'love' elsewhere.   You're looking at this love story through that white lens you mentioned. When it's actually all kinds of grey.   It's not as if the first wife could have just moved on like women do today.    She had to ask him not to cut off all ties with her. She basically had to negotiate. 

You can't choose to spend your life with somebody else out of nowhere ,when you're already married.   That beats the whole point of marriage.  Walk out if it's not working with your partner ,not because you fancy another woman .   What happened to the concept  of resisting temptation ( which many of us do at some point )? 

Doesn't it also mean that the first marriage wasn't strong enough? Isn't that a failure by itself? It's not like Hema was Menaka whose lure was impossible to resist. They came to know each other and developed feelings for each other that were stronger than what Dharmendra had with his first wife.

People fall out of love. They don't want to spend their life with a certain person. Whatever be the reason, if they want to separate, they should have the right to. 

Originally posted by: TrollikaDevi

I'm not judging though I'm saying IF it hadn't already failed this whole Hema episode is problematic.   

@ Bold. Not necessarily.  People cheat even when their marriage is fine and healthy.  If I shoplift it needn't mean I'm poor , it could also be a case of me  being  greedy.  

I'm chuckling at your Mom's sentence, while my heart goes out to you and her 🤗 It's not easy growing up without a father, but I was relieved to have the divorce done with. It gave me a happier environment, and peace of mind. Now I price these two things above everything else in life.

Originally posted by: TrollikaDevi

Yeah he is to be blamed for not standing up to her.  :( .  Just because his marriage with your mum ended it doesn't mean anything had to change between you and him.  

My father's second wife doesn't want him to meet me either even though she doesn't let on  and I'm not complaining. He's not easy to deal with.   When he remarried my mother was like "Omg thank goodness. At least now he'd stop stalking me ".  

Anyway, it was a good debate ❤️ It's odd to disagree with you since I hit like on so many of your posts but a pleasure to talk to someone truly "rational" even when we disagree 😛 

I would like to end this by saying that you and your Mom are strong women. I am so glad to have run into someone who can understand where I come from.

I do not agree with Mumtaz or what Dharmendra did

I do not want to blame only Dharmendra he was married by his parents at young age

After becoming a actor every human wants a spouse from their field or educated or as beautiful as them

So may be Dharmendra felt Hema will suit him more than his wife

Its not only about love but compaibility

I had read sunny was pretty miffed on his dads second marriage  

Bobby was a kid may be 12 year old when Dharmendra married  Hema so kids opinion does not truly matter to Dharmendra or his wife and brother on this matter 

I think sunnys image of silent and angry and all scared of him is one he developed to protect himself from media and society questioning him about Dharmendras second marriage. Its also to protect his mom and younger brother from the society and media. I have never seen any journalist in interview ask about hema or esha to sunny. But they have asked bobby about hema and esha his sisters in interviews. Or they ask esha about her brothers. In youtube interviews you can see that they ask bobby on hema or his sisters too. So media too knows whom they can cross limits with and whom they cannot and what ques to ask whom without facing warth. 

The fact that the brothers never attended their two sisters wedding itself shows all the respect etc is just for outside world may be. Or may be sunny bobby over years love their sisters and want to spend time or go out with them or talk to them but are scared to hurt their mother. So they do not go to any big function of the sisters too. 

In any place where  a father marries two or three wives its kids who suffer most. Specially kids who are small. They miss the father the most as in childhood you want parents with you to take care and spend time with you. Which i think bobby missed. Thats why he says sunny is his second father. Because by than sunny started working and he took care of bobby finance school, college, career, homework etc protecting him from bullying basically he became father to bobby or did those duties

Sadly arjun and his sis did not have an elder brother like sunny to take fathers place in life after boney married sridevi.  So arjun has lot of unresolved emotions inside compared to bobby deol. Both had similar situation. But for bobby he had sunny to take a fathers place and duties in his life and protect him from harsh ques of society. So its not affected him so much as arjun that he did not have daddy at home growing up. Also bobby said in kapil sharma show he never said in school or college hes dharmendra son or sunnys brother. Thats to avoid questions classmates would ask him i guess. To avoid the uncomfortable ques and bullying he kept his identity to himself. Or kids tend to show off whose their dad or brother if they come form big families in school or college etc. Asian society are tough on kids without father or whose father left their mom etc bec bullying targeting mocking all happens to kids for no fault. Just having a father at home ensure no one messes with any kid bec one threat to complaint to dad will scare biggest bully or teachers too away. I guess majority did not mess with bobby because he had sunny to protect him. Arjun was talking of bullying in interview but he did not have a brother like sunny to protect him. 

Originally posted by: BlackWitch

Anyway, it was a good debate ❤️ It's odd to disagree with you since I hit like on so many of your posts but a pleasure to talk to someone truly "rational" even when we disagree 😛 

I would like to end this by saying that you and your Mom are strong women. I am so glad to have run into someone who can understand where I come from.

Thank you ❤️.  Likewise, I love your posts. And it was nice talking today even though we're gonna have to agree to disagree on this one. . I'm sure your mother's proud of you ;you seem like a wonderful person .I hope  both of you are doing well 🤗.  🤗.  

Boney and Sri showed no tact... Once in an interview without being asked he boasted how he told his first wife that he had fell in love with Sridevi while Sri just sat there smiling 

 I think this IV  was when Mumtaz  just found out about her husband's affair and so maybe was in shock...

(She always speaks what's on her mind)

But still she's being symphathetic to the other woman instead of the wife... That's surprising

I think she had a fling too maybe for revenge...

She said Sunny would leave Dimple soon... But they seem pretty tight even now 😛