Do you guys agree with Mumtaz's take on Boney/Sridevi? - Page 2

You dont want to be this confused in life.. 

Guys are sissies according to her because they break friendship with her when their wife said so.. Yet she also claim if a guy wants to be your friend, go asked permission from the wife and be honest you love the wife 

Men cheats and then goes back to his wife, men can only give you pain. They are liars—a big bunch of liars.. Yet she dont understand why the wife are insecure..

Your husband will use you as a doormat. I will never allow any man to use me that way. Never, till I die! And until today, nobody has even done that! If I don’t get on, I just walk out. Within the four walls, I still sit alone and cry but I will never allow anyone to walk over me."  Yet accepted back her cheater husband that cheated on her for 11 years 

😆

In an ideal "white" world, one would get married and that would be it. They would never fall in love with someone else. They would raise a family and live happily ever after. But in a grey world, sometimes, you do fall out of love with your spouse. Sometimes you aren't compatible or you meet somebody much later in life who was everything you ever wanted.

Hema wasn't a "broad" for Dharmendra. She was and is his love. I am sure a star like Dharmendra could have found many "broads" if that's what he wanted. But no one goes to such lengths as Dharmendra did for a fling. He risked public ridicule, gave up his religion, fought with others to be with Hema Malini. People just don't go to such lengths for any person unless they had deep feelings. 

Dharmendra didn't abandon his first spouse. He stayed married to her due to her wishes, and converted his religion out of respect for his first wife. That was quite decent and respectful of him. Ultimately, its a person's choice to live with the other one for life. Marriage shouldn't be a bondage, but a choice. It takes two people choosing to be together to make a successful one.

Also, as a child of a broken marriage, I am strictly against parents staying together for the kids. People shouldn't do that. I was relieved when my parents divorced because I couldn't bear their unhappiness. I also resented them deeply for staying together for so many years for my sake; like "don't put your sadness on my head, for God's sake!"

Originally posted by: TrollikaDevi

Falling in love is one thing,you can't help it but how do you justify being in love when you already have a partner and have begun to raise a family with her?  Even if his first marriage had already soured by then or whatever his excuse was , it's disturbing when somebody just thinks of abandonning their spouse .  If he can leave his wife for you he can definitely leave you for the next broad. 

If Sridevi really kept Boney from being close to his kids  that was nasty. Wow. That could be true going by the way Arjun talks about her. He tries to hide bitterness .  

Originally posted by: BlackWitch

In an ideal "white" world, one would get married and that would be it. They would never fall in love with someone else. They would raise a family and live happily ever after. But in a grey world, sometimes, you do fall out of love with your spouse. Sometimes you aren't compatible or you meet somebody much later in life who was everything you ever wanted.

Hema wasn't a "broad" for Dharmendra. She was and is his love. I am sure a star like Dharmendra could have found many "broads" if that's what he wanted. But no one goes to such lengths as Dharmendra did for a fling. He risked public ridicule, gave up his religion, fought with others to be with Hema Malini. People just don't go to such lengths for any person unless they had deep feelings. 

Dharmendra didn't abandon his first spouse. He stayed married to her due to her wishes, and converted his religion out of respect for his first wife. That was quite decent and respectful of him. Ultimately, its a person's choice to live with the other one for life. Marriage shouldn't be a bondage, but a choice. It takes two people choosing to be together to make a successful one.

I wasn't being idealistic.  Like I said marriages do fail and regardless of that people can't help falling in love. But it's the way you deal with it that matters. Dharmendra did sort of abandon the first wife. He wanted a divorce but she didn't. Which means he wanted to leave her.   Would have been another story if he was already thinking of separation before Hema entered the picture. 

Marriage shouldn't be  bondage, I agree  but when two people are married and one of them makes a 'choice ' of leaving out of nowhere .....and if the only reason is falling in love with a third person then the one who is being left is being wronged.   I don't know if falling in 'love'  with another person is a great reason to break up your family ( even if you find alternate arrangements to continue the old relationships in some way ) .   At the end of the day you cant have it all , and the choices you make say something about your sense of responsibility and loyalty. 

Originally posted by: BlackWitch

Also, as a child of a broken marriage, I am strictly against parents staying together for the kids. People shouldn't do that. I was relieved when my parents divorced because I couldn't bear their unhappiness. I also resented them deeply for staying together for so many years for my sake; like "don't put your sadness on my head, for God's sake!"

In this case we don't know if his first marriage has already failed and I was speaking in terms of a situation where it hadn't. 

I agree .  Parents shouldn't stay in a toxic marriage just  '"for the sake of the kids" . It can only make things worse for them.   

Originally posted by: BlackWitch

The whole mess with Jitendra happened because Hema was conflicted and didn't want to break Dharmendra's marriage. Her parents were against the match too. 

I truly dislike women who marry a once married man and then prevent him from seeing his kids from the first wife. I won't comment on Sridevi because I don't know about her enough. 

I think Hema, Dharmendra and his first wife had a symbiotic relationship. They didn't cross into each other's domain and the family remained tight knit. Otherwise, no son would respect his father, like Sunny and Bobby do, for hurting his mother.

Yeah I remember watching an interview where she said she ( Hema) never tried to stop him from seeing his first wife or kids. That she knew being possessive wasnt going to achieve anything. I guess that was reasonable of her 

Originally posted by: nigahen

But he didn't leave her for the next broad. Their recent pics are all over insta and they seem so much in love...you can sense it through the screen. 

First of all he didn't abandon his first spouse at all. And second the concerns you raise are all valid ones, that anyone would have. That's why I say HM acted with her heart not her head. 

Time itself is proof. Unless people think there's a possibility that  Dharmendra be looking for another broad at 90 and in the future. 

We really don't know if he did or not.  We have to take their word for it. Insta pics and 'seeming' to be in love needn't have much to do with reality. :)  But good for them if he has been faithful to her. 

He wanted a divorce, which means he wanted to leave his first wife and spend his life with someone else. How else should he deal with feelings for another woman? He didn't go for the divorce because his first wife didn't want it. How is it abandonment? Why is it abandonment if one wants to leave their spouse legally? I think Dharmendra handled it in the best way he could. 

I don't agree with the second paragraph at all. When a relationship breaks, its always going to be painful. One person will always feel more wronged than the other. To stay unhappy together in a marriage is no way to live your life. It's not a question of responsibility or loyalty. Divorce exists for a reason. It is bondage if someone isn't free to choose who they want to spend their life with. 

I would call someone irresponsible if they did not take care of their children after a divorce. That's abandonment of responsibility and loyalty. Choosing to spend your life with someone else shouldn't be considered abandonment, especially in today's day and age. 

Originally posted by: TrollikaDevi

I wasn't being idealistic.  Like I said marriages do fail and regardless of that people can't help falling in love. But it's the way you deal with it that matters. Dharmendra did sort of abandon the first wife. He wanted a divorce but she didn't. Which means he wanted to leave her.   Would have been another story if he was already thinking of separation before Hema entered the picture. 

Marriage shouldn't be  bondage, I agree  but when two people are married and one of them makes a 'choice ' of leaving out of nowhere .....and if the only reason is falling in love with a third person then the one who is being left is being wronged.   I don't know if falling in 'love'  with another person is a great reason to break up your family ( even if you find alternate arrangements to continue the old relationships in some way ) .   At the end of the day you cant have it all , and the choices you make say something about your sense of responsibility and loyalty. 

But are we qualified to judge someone else's failure? It has failed if one spouse does not want to continue the marriage. That's really all it takes to consider it done and dusted. 

Originally posted by: TrollikaDevi

In this case we don't know if his first marriage has already failed and I was speaking in terms of a situation where it hadn't. 

I agree .  Parents shouldn't stay in a toxic marriage just  '"for the sake of the kids" . It can only make things worse for them.   

True. My father's second wife didn't want him to see me. More than her, I blame him for not having a spine. That's how I know abandonment pretty well. 

Originally posted by: TrollikaDevi

Yeah I remember watching an interview where she said she ( Hema) never tried to stop him from seeing his first wife or kids. That she knew being possessive wasnt going to achieve anything. I guess that was reasonable of her 

Originally posted by: BlackWitch

He wanted a divorce, which means he wanted to leave his first wife and spend his life with someone else. How else should he deal with feelings for another woman? He didn't go for the divorce because his first wife didn't want it. How is it abandonment? Why is it abandonment if one wants to leave their spouse legally? I think Dharmendra handled it in the best way he could. 

I don't agree with the second paragraph at all. When a relationship breaks, its always going to be painful. One person will always feel more wronged than the other. To stay unhappy together in a marriage is no way to live your life. It's not a question of responsibility or loyalty. Divorce exists for a reason. It is bondage if someone isn't free to choose who they want to spend their life with. 

I would call someone irresponsible if they did not take care of their children after a divorce. That's abandonment of responsibility and loyalty. Choosing to spend your life with someone else shouldn't be considered abandonment, especially in today's day and age. 

Something being legal doesn't make it right. Secondly if the first wife had contested he may not have gotten divorce that easily. 

It IS abandonment  in a way if you just announce you've fallen in love with another person and are leaving your spouse.   If your marriage hadn't failed already , leaving your spouse for somebody else is adultery even if you seek the legal route.  Think of Prakash in this case. An Indian woman from back then, with two kids facing the prospect of being a divorcee and being single  just because her husband found 'love' elsewhere.   You're looking at this love story through that white lens you mentioned. When it's actually all kinds of grey.   It's not as if the first wife could have just moved on like women do today.    She had to ask him not to cut off all ties with her. She basically had to negotiate. 

You can't choose to spend your life with somebody else out of nowhere ,when you're already married.   That beats the whole point of marriage.  Walk out if it's not working with your partner ,not because you fancy another woman .   What happened to the concept  of resisting temptation ( which many of us do at some point )?