RETICENCE - A ShiVi OS

Reticence - A ShiVi OS

“Oh, come on now Mami ki behen ki beti, don’t make me jump in the river” Shiva Pandya muttered under his strained breath, while trying to keep pace as well as remain hidden from the petite form of Raavi, his erstwhile wife.

In a moment of his foot getting caught on a jutting piece of rock on the river bank, he lost sight of her.

Shiva let out a stream of his choicest expletives. For days now he has been keeping watch over her, following her whenever possible, to ensure her safety. He was highly suspicious of her intentions since their annulment. The annulment was the right thing to do as both she and him was miserable in their farce of a marriage. Raavi had become unusually quiet , only taking out her claws to swipe at Rishita. As much as he felt that Rishita deserved that at times, he couldn’t let go of the feeling that something was permanently broken in the once annoyingly bubbly Raavi. He was worried that away from the oversight of Dhara and others of Pandya household, she would take drastic steps to fix that brokenness once and for all. Hence the stalking.

“ Well there was no loud voice from the river so she must still be around” Shiva deduced. 

Just as he crossed a tree on the bank, he felt a sharp pain the back of his head and fell face first on the ground. 

“Shiva! What the hell where you doing following me?” an angry female voice sounded somewhere from above him. 

As he painfully helped himself on to his knees, he felt a soft touch on his r arm and a familiar floral fragrance told him that Raavi was still there.

“ Thank goodness my senses are still working” Shiva muttered.

“What?” Raavi asked from his right.

“Where did you learn to swing like that Maami ki behen ki beti?” Shiva asked, finally opening his eyes and looking at her.

“Nowhere , I was acting on pure fear” Raavi replied, looking him over.

“ I am fine” Shiva replied deducing the meaning of her look.

“Good, now you can leave me alone” Raavi got up to her feet and began walking away.

“Well the river bank is not your private property is it? I can walk here too” Shiva got up and started following her.

Raavi turned around sharply and almost bumped into her ex-husband.

“What are you doing Shiva? she asked point blank.

“Walking on the river bank” Shiva replied with as much innocence as his face could muster.

“You are not Dev or Krish, you cannot act innocent if your life depended on it” Raavi replied tartly “Let me rephrase - why are you following me?”

Shiva understood that this Raavi could not or would not be fooled. He was right - something huge had changed in her.

“ I thought you were going to jump in the river” he said simply.

Raavi continued looking into his eyes making him drop his gaze. 

“ I appreciate your worry for me but I am truly over that phase. I just come here for the peaceful environment . Helps me think.”

Shiva tried to stifle a snort.

“I know what you are thinking” Raavi said with a small smile “ You are right, I should’ve thought before jumping to get married to Dev”

Feeling chagrined, Shiva shifted his gaze around. Raavi walked away from him towards a large boulder near the water. Sitting on it, she faced the river and closed her eyes. With nothing else to do and a lot of questions about this new Raavi, he decided to join her.

“Shouldn’t you be at the store?” Raavi asked from her perch.

“It’s fine Krish is there along with ameer baap ki beti” Shiva ground out his last words.

Raavi opened her eyes and smiled at him “You should try and get along with her you know. She’s not going anywhere”

“That’s rich coming from you. You had teeth only for her back when we...” Shiva stopped abruptly.

“That’s because I saw her as my enemy, the woman who took the man I loved. Living in your home and seeing her with Dev was difficult for me because I genuinely did love him” Raavi faced the river again.

She grew quieter as they both went a few months behind in memories. 

“ Leaving Pandya Nivas was important for me. My marriage to you was forced by circumstances and there was nothing between us. Staying in it would’ve hurt both of us” Raavi said quietly.

“True” Shiva agreed.

“Leaving your house was essential for me to break away from my obsession with Dev too. I did understand that Dev and Rishita were meant to be but it didn’t hurt any less.”

“You have changed a lot “ Shiva’s voice held his surprise.

“ I have grown up finally “ Raavi’s was bittersweet “I realized that I was in a dreamland and life does not always go as planned. It took me some time but I now know it’s still worth living.”

“ I am sorry for the way I treated you” Shiva said in a low voice.

Raavi looked at him in surprise.

“Why Shiva Pandya, you do have a brain”she said smiling.

“ Oh mami ki behen ki beti!” Shiva pointed his hand at her.

“Ah there he is” Raavi replied satisfied.

Shiva huffed knowing that she had trapped him and he reacted as expected. She didn’t deserve his anger, he had realized that sometime ago. He had some growing up of his own to do.

“Out of curiosity Shiva, why are you always so angry at the world?” Raavi asked.

“ I ...” Shiva trailed off, looking far.

“ You don’t need to answer me” Raavi said sensing his reluctance.

“ It’s not that I don’t want to... I don’t know the answer myself” Shiva was surprised by his own display of honesty. He had never admitted this to anyone, not even Dhara bhabhi.

“ I know I don’t hold much importance to you but as someone who has known you since a young age, I know you can be kind Shiva. I think you are angry at yourself as much as you are at the world. Maybe figure out why and you could change too” 

“Who said I want to change?” Shiva became defensive.

In reply Raavi just said “If some part of you didn’t care about me, you wouldn’t have followed me”

As Raavi returned to looking at the now setting sun, Shiva looked at her and reflected on her words. She was right, he did want to change. A part of him always did. He wasn’t sure anyone in his household would be of much help though. They had a lot going on at all times. Maybe someone else could.

“ Maam.... Raavi, would you like to be my friend?” Shiva Pandya asked the question he should’ve asked long ago.

In return he received a smile.

After Note :

As explosive as the chemistry is between Shiva and Raavi (kudos to the actors) I don’t like the way they were forced into a marriage. Marriage was used as a treatment for mental distress when it really is not. You cannot cure a broken heart with another marriage on the spot and as such I cannot digest it.

This is my take on how ShiVi relationship should go. They need to break away from each other and find their way back to themselves and each other, organically. Marriages based on hate do not work anywhere apart in the reel world. That said I realize this is a drama and everyone is entitled to their own choices.

Please do leave a comment and let me know if you enjoyed my take. It’s been a while for me.

I absolutely loved your take!

I definitely, definitely agree with you. Marriages based on hate never work out. Or even if they do, they take many, many years and a lot of sacrifices in order for it to work out (doesn't happen like how they show it in ITV where a single shower scene or Holi baang scenario is enough to change the equation).

It would have been so much better if Raavi and Shiva had the chance to become friends before getting married. For example, they both should've said no after Dhara proposed the idea of their marriage (I know Raavi did say no, but she was emotionally coerced at the end). Shiva and Raavi could have both placated Dhara by saying, "We won't get married to each other today, but we don't mind getting to know one another to see if marriage can work."

But enough of my nonsense rambling, back to your take, I love your take on Shiva's character. The fact that he doesn't like Raavi, but feels sympathetic, but also doesn't want to see her get hurt so instead decides stalking is the best way... I could totally see cannon Shiva doing all of these actions. I also liked the maturity written in Raavi's character, and the ending was ❤️!

Though it's been a while, you're writing is still perfect!

Originally posted by: milkcakejamun

I absolutely loved your take!

Thank you ❤️ It’s always a little daunting to write a viewpoint that’s not cannon. 

I definitely, definitely agree with you. Marriages based on hate never work out. Or even if they do, they take many, many years and a lot of sacrifices in order for it to work out (doesn't happen like how they show it in ITV where a single shower scene or Holi baang scenario is enough to change the equation).

I don’t think ( I could be wrong) there are hate marriages outside of the reel world to be honest. There are forced marriages - with consent from one side or consent from neither and there are of course abusive marriages. They don’t work or even remotely look like ITV marriages. While reel and real is separate , reel does have an impact on real and to an extent reflects our culture. The way Shiva manhandles Raavi is despicable. It reflects the thought process of a portion of our society that your partner can be dealt like property. Manhandling, hitting , stalking (even in my own creation, it’s wrong and if I write further will reflect on it) is not and can never be love. 

It would have been so much better if Raavi and Shiva had the chance to become friends before getting married. For example, they both should've said no after Dhara proposed the idea of their marriage (I know Raavi did say no, but she was emotionally coerced at the end). Shiva and Raavi could have both placated Dhara by saying, "We won't get married to each other today, but we don't mind getting to know one another to see if marriage can work."

Raavi was heartbroken beyond words when Dev finally decided to open his mouth. The drastic step she took should’ve prompted those around her to care more for her. Instead they got her married to a guy she doesn’t remotely like. How’s that sane? Shiva’s devotion to Dhara is admirable but also shows the toxic tendency in some families to do absolutely anything to appease the elders and keep the family honor. Even Raavi was partly married off for honor because god forbid a girl remains unmarried!

But enough of my nonsense rambling, back to your take, I love your take on Shiva's character. The fact that he doesn't like Raavi, but feels sympathetic, but also doesn't want to see her get hurt so instead decides stalking is the best way... I could totally see cannon Shiva doing all of these actions. I also liked the maturity written in Raavi's character, and the ending was ❤️!

I didn’t particularly like writing the stalking part which is why I showed that he was not in love with her. Stalking makes me feel icky. I am fascinated by cannon Shiva’s anger. What makes him so angry at everything apart from his family?He is a middle child technically. Has that made him feel ignored, misunderstood? It’s a depth worth exploring .

Though it's been a while, you're writing is still perfect!

Thanks again . Means a lot ❤️

I really enjoyed your take on their situation because honestly, you're right!. A marriage, realistically, can never actually work the way ShiVi have been placed together. I like that they are trying to be friends by the end of it because they realized that they needed to focus on themselves first before getting into a relationship neither of them wanted.

About your note:

I do however have to put my input in that I actually believe it was done to save Raavi; both realistically and figuratively. Realistically: I think they felt that she might try to take her life again and getting her married would give her a chance to move on. (still is something I do not agree with). Figuratively: Indian Society is frankly not a happy pill to swallow. No matter how modern they become, in this society, there will be some backward people that will always blame the girl for having her marriage break. "Oh, there must be something wrong with the girl" type of thing. 

Obviously, I don't think that either should have had anything to do with someone's life but I do believe that this is where the thought process came from.

After reading your thoughts, I couldn't help but respond again (feel free to hate me or disagree with me in any of these points):

1: Hate Marriages

After giving much thought to the ShiVi relationship, I've been finding it more and more difficult to characterize them as a couple who purely hate each other. I feel like there is definitely some animosity for sure. But I don't think it was pure hate. The reason I feel this way is because it made almost no sense to me how much Raavi looked forward to Shiva's opinions (from the mehendi function to teasingly saying, "Hamari Shiva" during her haldi ceremony). I for one would never care for an enemy who manhandles me, but then again, I'm me and Raavi is Raavi. Personally, I would characterize their marriage as a forced marriage. They were both coerced and guilt tripped into saying yes. Now, I only say this because in the show Yeh Hai Chahatein, I saw a pure hate marriage. The male lead despised the female lead, but married her so he could have full custody of her son. After seeing that show, characterizing ShiVi under this category is much harder for me to do.

2: Toxicity in ITV

I agree with every point you've mentioned. In society we always talk about woman empowerment and how women can be equal. What would've made this show a bang would've been if Raavi was able to walk away with her head held high. She could've been like Anita, but proved to the world that you don't need a man for success. She could've started her own business, could have invested in her talents, or could have just moved to another town and started fresh. But instead, ITV decides she will get married to the one man in the town who couldn't even treat her like a woman (Shiva probably does care for her safety in at least one corner of his mind, but he never respected her as she was related to his Mami). How Dhara and the rest of the characters thought these two would fall in love after the mangalsutra is tied is somewhat astonishing had this happened in real life (again because of ITV, I'm throwing out all this logic as I watch). Not to mention having an unmarried girl at home... Wish ITV showed that unmarried women are not burdens, and can instead be a boon, but that might be asking for too much as those types of shows don't get high TRPs in the long run.

3: The Ending

One of the reasons I loved the ending is because you specifically showed that Shiva was not in love. I think it totally would have ruined the mood and message of the story if you have the characters get an annulment and a few days later, Shiva realizes he loves her. He has a lot of issues to sort out. I don't think his anger stems only from being a middle child. I think his anger may even come from not having a father figure, seeing how much harder his brother Gaumbi has to work to support the family (maybe Shiva feels guilty that his brother was robbed of a childhood somewhat and wishes to give back in one way or another), and maybe even hating how his Mami is able to live happily without facing the consequences of her schemes. I also think he currently has a black and white view of life. The one time Mami had another chance (Anita's marriage with Gaumbi), she ruined it. And I think it took a toll on Shiva's thoughts and made him realize that bad people are never good and anyone associated with bad people (Anita in this case) are bad, which is why Raavi is bad too.

I'll stop here because I don't want to detract from your lovely story! But regardless, fantastic job! The personalities and emotions were so raw and real in this story.

As much as I don’t want them to ever be separated, I agree to your logic. It’s nice to see them become friends so hesitantly. ♥️

I really like this new perspective on their story!♥️ Beautifully written💕

Very well written story from a different perspective. When we knew they were going to get married, I'd hoped that GauRa would give them a chance to have a conversation with each other. And inspite of pressure by family, both would consent to this marriage on their own and set expectations of whattbis marriage would be like. That has only happened once in ITV and that was when GauRa got married and Hardik gave them 5 minutes. Because it happened on this show, I thought makers would show that again. While that is still not the most realistic scenario and promotes an outdated concept of unmarried girls and unhappy life, the marriage would still be needed from drama/TRP perspective. For me, that would have been an ideal take for ITV. Both can be like "roommates" give each other their space, no need for pushing and shoving, but still contining their nokjhoks.

But for real life, I 100% agree with everyone here and couldn't have said it any better.

And I was glad that this shot ends with friendship. Shivi may be together in future, but this time it would be for no other reason than them wanting to be with each other. After they've improved on themselves. Or they can be simply be each other's best friends, confidant, as they move on in their respective lives after bring out the best in each other. 

Originally posted by: ms.ObseSSeD

I really enjoyed your take on their situation because honestly, you're right!. A marriage, realistically, can never actually work the way ShiVi have been placed together. I like that they are trying to be friends by the end of it because they realized that they needed to focus on themselves first before getting into a relationship neither of them wanted.

Our society thinks marriage solves most mental health issues when it really , really, does not. It only amplifies issues for both parties involved. Humans should focus on themselves before deciding to be a part and make someone else a part of their lives.

About your note:

I do however have to put my input in that I actually believe it was done to save Raavi; both realistically and figuratively. Realistically: I think they felt that she might try to take her life again and getting her married would give her a chance to move on. (still is something I do not agree with). Figuratively: Indian Society is frankly not a happy pill to swallow. No matter how modern they become, in this society, there will be some backward people that will always blame the girl for having her marriage break. "Oh, there must be something wrong with the girl" type of thing. 

Again circles back to the point that marriage does not solve mental health issues. Woman/Man/Transgender/Genderfluid people CAN lead a fulfilling lives by themselves. Marriage is just one part of life. Not life itself.

Obviously, I don't think that either should have had anything to do with someone's life but I do believe that this is where the thought process came from.

Thank you for the comment❤️

Originally posted by: milkcakejamun

After reading your thoughts, I couldn't help but respond again (feel free to hate me or disagree with me in any of these points):

Contrary to popular opinion IF does have people who agree to disagree and still respect the other person. Hating an actual person over  fictional character/s is absurd 😆

1: Hate Marriages

After giving much thought to the ShiVi relationship, I've been finding it more and more difficult to characterize them as a couple who purely hate each other. I feel like there is definitely some animosity for sure. But I don't think it was pure hate. The reason I feel this way is because it made almost no sense to me how much Raavi looked forward to Shiva's opinions (from the mehendi function to teasingly saying, "Hamari Shiva" during her haldi ceremony). I for one would never care for an enemy who manhandles me, but then again, I'm me and Raavi is Raavi. Personally, I would characterize their marriage as a forced marriage. They were both coerced and guilt tripped into saying yes. Now, I only say this because in the show Yeh Hai Chahatein, I saw a pure hate marriage. The male lead despised the female lead, but married her so he could have full custody of her son. After seeing that show, characterizing ShiVi under this category is much harder for me to do.

I agree with most of what you said, Raavi does care for sure but I don't think it was anything other than as husband to be's annoying brother. Platonic in short. Come to think, the CV's have a weird take on platonic right? Even I wouldn't give two hoots to someone who manhandles me and I firmly believe no woman or man or trans or gender fluid person should. It's abusive period.

2: Toxicity in ITV

I agree with every point you've mentioned. In society we always talk about woman empowerment and how women can be equal. What would've made this show a bang would've been if Raavi was able to walk away with her head held high. She could've been like Anita, but proved to the world that you don't need a man for success. She could've started her own business, could have invested in her talents, or could have just moved to another town and started fresh. But instead, ITV decides she will get married to the one man in the town who couldn't even treat her like a woman (Shiva probably does care for her safety in at least one corner of his mind, but he never respected her as she was related to his Mami). How Dhara and the rest of the characters thought these two would fall in love after the mangalsutra is tied is somewhat astonishing had this happened in real life (again because of ITV, I'm throwing out all this logic as I watch). Not to mention having an unmarried girl at home... Wish ITV showed that unmarried women are not burdens, and can instead be a boon, but that might be asking for too much as those types of shows don't get high TRPs in the long run.

Behen, that would expecting a miracle from ITV in my very honest slightly jaded opinion. 😆

3: The Ending

One of the reasons I loved the ending is because you specifically showed that Shiva was not in love. I think it totally would have ruined the mood and message of the story if you have the characters get an annulment and a few days later, Shiva realizes he loves her. He has a lot of issues to sort out. I don't think his anger stems only from being a middle child. I think his anger may even come from not having a father figure, seeing how much harder his brother Gaumbi has to work to support the family (maybe Shiva feels guilty that his brother was robbed of a childhood somewhat and wishes to give back in one way or another), and maybe even hating how his Mami is able to live happily without facing the consequences of her schemes. I also think he currently has a black and white view of life. The one time Mami had another chance (Anita's marriage with Gaumbi), she ruined it. And I think it took a toll on Shiva's thoughts and made him realize that bad people are never good and anyone associated with bad people (Anita in this case) are bad, which is why Raavi is bad too.

I'll stop here because I don't want to detract from your lovely story! But regardless, fantastic job! The personalities and emotions were so raw and real in this story.

I absolutely love musing over what makes him so angry, I think it's mostly because it's so underwhelmingly done on the show.

You know what, you just made me want to expand more on this story and I just might do it when I am too exhausted from studying for exam. Thanks for the comment again❤️