Originally posted by: Onyourface
Bold - yes yes I completely agree ... mishti was the only with whom he shared his emotional feelings...because both of them were going through the same pain...somewhere a connect was there and it was the starting point where he started getting emotionally stable .... he also didn't realise when he became so comfortable with her But I was saying that when he actually found all this answers ....that was the day jab uski life mein real sense mein "thehraav" aaya...and mishti plays a very important role there for sure
Yes correct...abir was waiting for someone ...someone he can connect with in real sense ...
Kunal ka ...well agar shwet picture mein nahi hoti toh I would believe that he would have married anyone ...I guess after a bitter experience with shwet he realised that okay I will go with my family's judgement now...I see it that way ...
👍🏼
Kunal and Shwet equation is mystery for me the way Kunal is behaving😆He doesn't know if he is in love with Kuhu when he had been in love with Shwet before
She was most likely the one to propose him and he fell in love or his version of love. Likewise he would have fallen in his version of love with anyone who came into his life. Because his version of love is being responsible for the other person.
That's the thing diyaaa.....if parul massi and kunal hadn't told him its her haq .....he wouldn't have told her and she wouldn't have come back to him easily.......
Their breakup was the most contrived drama in the show.I hated that track. I read many comments in twitter claiming she should apologize for lying ,she is responsible for the breakup, if she had communicated it wouldn't have happened etc etc. But its all just our assumptions on what would have happened. Ultimately Abir took the decision himself. But he learnt from his mistake and he includes her in decisions pertaining to each other. But he still doesn't share what needs to be shared.
Mishti's secreacy is more contrived drama ..for example she tries to share everything with Abir the moment she gets to know the truth, but her luck is bad......baba picks up the phone, likewise after that Meenu intercepts her and after that Kunal. But when things settle, her desire to share the truth takes a back seat and she doesn't want to take any credit,which is her main problem.
Even Abir also during Kuku marriage and Nishant track, he was shown wanting to share the truth. Exactly like Mishti when things settle his desire to share the truth become null and his need to protect takes over.
The thing is I dnt mind them not sharing things with anyone else....but they should with each other, even the small things...because they are supposed to be best friends and life partners.
Here Abir is mildly comfortable to share with Parul massi , Kunal and Naanu whoever is available. Mishti is shown to share somethings with BM. But my question is why them?? Why not with each other??
Their families are weirdly depicted. The Maheshwari's brush everything inder the carpet. You know Kuhu's dialogue preleap completely defines them.....A daughter will have freedom as long as it doesn't go against their family's welfare. Mishti and Kuhu are best examples regarding that. They like to pretend everything is perfect but it is not so. They fail to support their children when they need them the most and try to do so only when everything falls apart or their kids fall apart.
RJV's problems are mostly because they are not perceptive of what each of their family members need and wherein lies their true happiness. But when they realize they actually support each other.
@bold - Exactly Diyaa......their love and trust on each other and Abir's understanding of Mishti or more likely Meenu😆is holding them together. If they didn't have it they would have fell apart without any communication......as u said u need a balance. You can't take yout love and trust for granted which they did before. You need to work to make your relationship work.
totally agreed mini... 👍🏼
actually i expected mish to apologize before but not after break up when meenu actively used it against her... if it would not have happen surely mish asking sorry for hiding would make sense but not now... she was used by meenu she just needs to learn to not trust meenu...
@bold - exactly this mini.... i still dont understand why they are not learning from past mistake... someone has to make them understand this, like how parul maasi did, compared to mah house they didnt made mish understand abir should know truth or guided her properly.. in rjv nothing is hidden at one point everything comes out in open and they get proper guidance n improve themselves kunal is the best example of it.... so with mish here, n abir finally changing in improving we can expect things to change, dynamics to change...
and main problem n difference is Abir has people who can reprimand him for his mistake from mishti to rjv to everyone but for mish no one ever said what she did is wrong infact everyone encourages her thats where problem lies... they need to correct her even if her intentions are right... she defintely needs proper guidance...
@italic - totally agreed mini... there is still long way to go for them...
guys move to thread.... nami already created it...
Originally posted by: Onyourface
Spot on diya 👏 I so agree ....💯🥳
Haan parul and kunal made him realise that he should share the truth ...in his mind he was thinking that he shouldn't be giving any justification for his behaviour but he didn't realise that it also takes away mishti's haq to know the truth
Bold - yes absolutely that's the basic difference here ...abir realised it that its wrong hence he is sharing every detail with mishti now but mishti hasn't realised that it's not right to hide things...its not always necessary to fight thr battles on your own just because you want to protect your loved ones....she is again back to square one...a girl who struggles to differentiate between pyaar and ehsaan
Italics - I so agree with this too ..mahs are afraid of calling out the elephant in the room 😆 But rvs are so different that ways ...they have huge confrontations that too openly not behind closed doors ...whatever differences abir meenu have or abir kunal had were all out in the open ...I guess this new changed atmosphere will bring many changes in the dynamics between the relationships
Bold - agreed 👍🏼 That's how it is
🤗
@bold - spot on Uru... this is where the difference lies... actually the problem is Abir has people including mish who can say he is wrong, what mistake he did n people to guide him properly.... but with mish including abir they actively encourage her, doesnt sit n talk with her on where she went wrong, what her mistake is a proper guidance is missing...
@italic - same believe uru... rjv is surely gonna change dynamic n make both the girls improve... kunal is best example yaar... he has come a long way n has become a better person with everyone pointing his mistake, supporting at right time n also everyone guiding him...
Originally posted by: Onyourface
Hmm moni I don't deny what you are saying because yes meenu's and abir's thoughts about how a bahu and wife should be are poles apart ...so yes this difference of opinion can be a reason but there is so much more to it
I think thoda differently here , it wasn't like abir didn't want to fall in love or get married or anything...its just at that point of time his mind was preoccupied with so many things that the idea of marriage or love didnt really kick in
A lot of people talk about mishti's abandonment issues but I believe that abir's abandonment issues were no less , just because he is capable of hiding his pain through his smile and positivity and his happy go lucky attitude ....that dosent mean he wasn't suffering
A 5 year old kid who was very emotionally attached to his baba and the one who really believed baba's life philosophy... he suddenly realised that his baba left him with so many unanswered questions...like one day bas gayab hi ho gaye
There was a flashback scene where abir is asking meenu that where is baba and she slaps him in return ...so I believe a lot of times abir must have asked naanu koslu and meenu about baba but none of them addressed his queries ...and meenu used to come up with her famous 2 lines - tumhare baba ache insaan nahi the aur Hume chod ke chale gaye ....nothing more nothing less .... so I guess after a point of time when we grew up , he took him upon himself to find answers to all these questions
It was very clean that sub consciously he was missing his baba all the time , in so many of his self talks we have seen him saying - baba yahan hote toh aisa nahi hota ....baat itni bigadti nahi n all ..he developed that champaner school because it was baba's dream and also if you noticed there was a seen between meenu and laxman where he informs her that abir got a clue that baba is in Kutch ....so connecting that with his kutch trip I believe he didn't go to kutch just to attend kutch Utsav but was actually looking out for baba ...the reason he didnt inform anyone was because no one in rv house was really keen to find baba and it was useless to explain then ...so haan I believe the thought to find his answers through baba pre occupied his mind for many years ... so it was absolutely wonderful to see that somehow mishti was the one who gave him all the answers , whether its bringing baba in his life or indirectly exposing his truth ...some may say that mishti brings stability in his life ....yes I absolutely agree but the main reason for his stability is that he found his answers, answers that he was looking out for so many years
Coming to kunal...well there is a back story here too ...kunal was left by shwet on his engagement day that too without a reason ...I believe this incident must have made him go into a sad state where he stopped sharing his emotions with anyone ...meenu kept him busy with all the business work ...but that just helped him hide the pain and not really heal it and I believe abir noticed that ....the reason he wanted kunal to get married was only because he felt that the presence of a girl would help him come out of the robot zone ...kunal would share his emotional feelings with someone and that would make him feel better ....that's all ...he wasn't pressuring kunal for marriage but haan he wanted a friend for kunal who could understand him
I also feel that abir also wanted to fall in love in an organic way , not only mishti , he also believed in the idea of courtship and that's why he strongly supported her when she wanted to go for it ...he is just not arrange marriage material that ways and there were many things that played a role for him not thinking about marriage 😳 all I want to say is that I feel that it wasn't that he didn't want to get married or anything but I believe he never really thought about it because of many pre occupied thoughts...
Sorry jazbaat mein kuch zyada leekh daala🤣
Sunday hai na 😆
@ bold koi baat nahi chaltha hai...😆
I never believed or said that he is one happy...Nope to me he is first child who has got abandonment issues...A Child both MishBir had very serious abandonment issues. Child Abir was hiding behind his smiles because apart from his mother all other family members love him equally as he loves them Unlike Mishti, who became a secretive and nerd child (a closed child she is).
Yes both had roofs above them but they were looking for home to nest on, eventually which they found in each other. You might have so many relatives around you be it good or bad, but all a child need is their parents nothing else, a comforting hug from your parents has a tremendous power to heal any wound of a child.
So do you think Abir would have got married be it love or arranged if he didn't find the answers that was lingering in his mind from the time his father left him. Nope he wouldn't have....even if the girl is as beautiful as Mishti.
But I think he found the cue for his queries from her eyes on the first meet itself....and there comes his shayari....
First answer ---A girl who is trying to get on top of the bus....-who is dare enough to tell a stranger that haath sambaal ne keliye diya tha thaamne ke liye nahi... (she is independent)
Second answer--- her conversation with ketki.... so there is girl like him with similar abandoment issue. ( looking for nest--home)
Third answer -----after he met her in that abandoded temple (the pillars wala), A girl who can't be fooled by charming words or sugar coated words......( she is strong and brave)
Then finally when he came to know that that it is the same girl , he declared that she is his to be wife..(kunal's bhabhi)...
That is why I said Mishti is answers to all his questions and that is why the universe brought them together.
Same goes with Mishti too....she doesn't want to get married because she has seen her parents failed in love be it love or arranged marriage , love is must hain na....
but she found that unconditional love from Abir she finally find her home...
When it comes to kunal.....
I think he was made to be a spoiled child by his step mom....Kunal too didn't have father right....but he was pampered with sports car, harvard education and so on...So that she could keep him and parul under her control. and moreover her father and her brother will keep her in high regards..
But Abir pampered him because he doesn't want his brother to be left out of a fatherly love...
Kunal doesn't need any outsider to share his feelings like abir does because he has got abir as in a friend, father in a bhai disguise..
Also, I dont think he was in love with shwet either...he would have be swayed away by her hotness and stylish ways. He didn't like Mishti (who is a simple girl ) but he like Kuhu ( a fashion icon of Mah's).. He might have run behind shwet for her looks and she might have run behind him for money and RV surname...that 's it...it not love and breakup is inevitablein those kind of relationship...wahah heart hi nahi use kiya, heart break hi baath hi nahi hain.😆
Moni.....I loved how u explained belief and trust.👍🏼
They both trust each other, but their belief is preventing them to confide in each other completely.
I am confused on how long they will go about hiding things from each other to save the other from pain?? I mean they made their mistakes before and paid the price, but still they keep on doing the same thing.
They somehow take up parenting roles with each other. Parents are supposed to be the ones who protect, life partners are supposed to stand beside you when pain hits, not prevent you from facing anything.
Exactly,they have to step out of parenting mode to enjoy their phase as life partners full on...
@ bold koi baat nahi chaltha hai...😆
I never believed or said that he is one happy...Nope to me he is first child who has got abandonment issues...A Child both MishBir had very serious abandonment issues. Child Abir was hiding behind his smiles because apart from his mother all other family members love him equally as he loves them Unlike Mishti, who became a secretive and nerd child (a closed child she is).
Yes both had roofs above them but they were looking for home to nest on, eventually which they found in each other. You might have so many relatives around you be it good or bad, but all a child need is their parents nothing else, a comforting hug from your parents has a tremendous power to heal any wound of a child.
So do you think Abir would have got married be it love or arranged if he didn't find the answers that was lingering in his mind from the time his father left him. Nope he wouldn't have....even if the girl is as beautiful as Mishti.
But I think he found the cue for his queries from her eyes on the first meet itself....and there comes his shayari....
First answer ---A girl who is trying to get on top of the bus....-who is dare enough to tell a stranger that haath sambaal ne keliye diya tha thaamne ke liye nahi... (she is independent)
Second answer--- her conversation with ketki.... so there is girl like him with similar abandoment issue. ( looking for nest--home)
Third answer -----after he met her in that abandoded temple (the pillars wala), A girl who can't be fooled by charming words or sugar coated words......( she is strong and brave)
Then finally when he came to know that that it is the same girl , he declared that she is his to be wife..(kunal's bhabhi)...
That is why I said Mishti is answers to all his questions and that is why the universe brought them together.
Same goes with Mishti too....she doesn't want to get married because she has seen her parents failed in love be it love or arranged marriage , love is must hain na....
but she found that unconditional love from Abir she finally find her home...
When it comes to kunal.....
I think he was made to be a spoiled child by his step mom....Kunal too didn't have father right....but he was pampered with sports car, harvard education and so on...So that she could keep him and parul under her control. and moreover her father and her brother will keep her in high regards..
But Abir pampered him because he doesn't want his brother to be left out of a fatherly love...
Kunal doesn't need any outsider to share his feelings like abir does because he has got abir as in a friend, father in a bhai disguise..
Also, I dont think he was in love with shwet either...he would have be swayed away by her hotness and stylish ways. He didn't like Mishti (who is a simple girl ) but he like Kuhu ( a fashion icon of Mah's).. He might have run behind shwet for her looks and she might have run behind him for money and RV surname...that 's it...it not love and breakup is inevitablein those kind of relationship...wahah heart hi nahi use kiya, heart break hi baath hi nahi hain.😆
First of all my point was very simple here moni , I am not going into what would have happened if this and that n all ...m strictly analysing what happened and what was shown in the story and what was the reason behind it
There were two points that we were discussing
1. You said abir didnt want to get married at all
2. You said he wanted to get kunal married first
I just said that's not the case , at that point of time in his life he was busy finding some answers that marriage thing was on a back seat for him plus he believed in the idea of falling in love and was never an arrange marriage material , so not wanting to get married or getting kunal married first was never a thought for him
Yes in this journey to find baba , he found mishti and he connected with her like the way you explained, in first few meetings only that started connecting on a different level, more on an emotional level because both of them were suffering from deep abandonment issues, so their pain was something that connected them
may be in sub conscious level when he said that "samajh le yeh teri bhabhi ka hai " ...it was more a casual statement...because if he had realised it on a conscious level that he would have never been so keen for kunal mishti alliance...he only realised consciously that he loves mishti when he made that painting ...and that moment came after a long time ...so him telling teri bhabhi ka hai was just a casual statement for me ..nothing more nothing less
Yes that's what I said....directly and indirectly mishti became answers to his questions and vice versa , both of them were able to find a "home" in each other where they could express their pain and slowly the growing friendship made them realise that they are meant for each other...yes universe made them meet because that was their destiny after all
I never said shwet and kunal were in love, I still believe that even with kuhu , kunal is yet to realise the depth of love, I only said that kunal was "left by shwet" means he got rejected and that thing didnt go down well with him , there was a scene between abinal where kunal says " ladko ko bhi utna hi bura lagta hai jitna ladkiyon ko lagta hai , ek baar reject ho chuka hun , dobara nahi hona chahta" clearly he fears rejection ...the reason can be anything...like you said meenu made him a spoilt brat ....and somewhere he stopped sharing his emotional feelings and went into robot zone , inspite of having a father figure like abir , he never opened up about it and so I believe abir thought may be a friend , a new relationship will help him get over it , and that's why he was very keen with the alliance there
I was just explaining abir's thought process here nothing else
😊
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