Eye My Girl, will Eye U - My SuKor The Miracle did happen ...an OS Pg - Page 5

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Posted: 4 years ago

Sumi dear🤗

this is a clear shot entertainer pertaining to stick to udaan features and hv a detailed, school, college life between them.

As akways well written and i am enjoying a lot.

first reading that 'Mine' and 'Sabkuch' in first part felt a different lovable feel of sukor but now those words , does they mean the literal one or different, are still sukor hvent reached tht stage. . eager to know all this

 

sumsukor thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

PART IV

The start of the journey……………filled with …………..thorns…………but canbuds bloom?

KN was fuming in anger, fisting himself and just beating the goons black and blue…

How can you leave her… ????

What if she goes to the police…Well!! I can handle but it will create problem with the HQ and media will trigger it and it will be apiece to munch for the opposite party.

Go search everywhere he shouted!

Chakor…I will not leave you little urchin. bring her tome!!! The audacity to ask in front of the media my age and about education…

There was a call from his party Head Quarters asking him if he watched the breaking News as a news strip was being played

The media house from which Kaushal had come was playing the strip below as to mention that Journalist and Cameraman Kaushal has gone missing.  It was mentioned that he had been to Amarpura the famous politician Kamal Narayan’s constituency but went missing after the kite flying ceremony.

The HQ was asking where has he gone and that KN should find out as the media will blow the matter.

He kept his hands on his head and sat down…. Raam Sigh call the Inspector he shouted…

*********************

The young boy on the other hand was angry… He could not understand but he felt weird.

How can she run away and why did she run away…. … he broke the things.

Raam Singh said she is mine. She should come back as papa promised to make her study!

He was going like mad around the bungalow when he found himself in the old shed…   

He got vague remembrance of the baby and the smile, the way she sucked his finger……………and today the way she held his hands with that firmness…but did not hurt him, her hands were tender. Her eyes spark…. But how can she hold my hands…

Thumping he pushed around the hay as he could not control himself as he felt he is alone,  not that she had interacted with him but now she is not in Amarpura too, unknown anger was building up.

He tripped  and fell on the haystock.  His hand landed on something small and hard.  It was a small cassette… what’s this…  suddenly KN called Raam Singh…. And few guys were running. He put that in his pocket and went towards the bungalow…

He stopped Raam Singh and asked… why did she run away???

KN came and said … You See Suraj…. , she asked to study but see she does not want to study so she ran away. She spoke in front of the media, so now the media will taunt me for not fulfilling the promise.  But it is not my mistake na. Suraj looked at KN. 

He could not understand anything but was angry and with a confused look went to his room.  In a fit of fury changed his dress and just flung his trouser, which went high up on tothe attic.

*********************

Dhrona and Keshav were just shocked on hearing the little girl.

Whaatt???

Yes I saw them killing that baiyya who was recording…the little girl was telling it very low.. 

That’s why Kaushal was not responding??? Keshav asked to himself.. his face was whitening…

They both looked at each other. 

Whats your name asked Dhrona…. She is Chakor bhaiiya….. Let’stake her home.

The media persons were trying to locate that winner who was standing far away, who has not registered her name nor any no.

They were trying to come running when Dhrona quickly told Keshav to take Chakor away so as to avoid trouble. Keshav wait with her,  I will be back he said and came after few minutes with his car.

Keshav  covered Chakorwith his jacket and cap and took her to the side avoiding the media…

After few minutes Dhrona joined them and took her to his house…. Not realising that destiny was going to make him play the pivotal role like the Dhronacharya, the Coach Mentor of Arjun and Eklavya.

They set to go when they saw on TV in one of the shops playing that Breaking News!

They went by his car when Keshav told the happening at Amarpura and Chakor narrated what she saw and showed her stamp… and said hum Banduva hai, sirf hum nahi sab log hamara gaav mey Maalik ka hai. Chota Malik hamaraliye SabKuch aur woh gundagiri kartha hai..

Bhai can we go to the Police asked Keshav when Dhrona wentinto thinking mode….NO Keshav from the news channel and what you say and what Chakor says looks like KN is a very powerful person.  And we don’t have any solid proof and the police wont give the childs testimony any weightage and her life is already in danger.. Lets think and act wise he said.

Haan Masterji Maalik is like god, he is everything to us….but he killed that Kaushal bhaiya…

Dhrona gathered information about Chakor and asked her how she knows marathoning. 
Marrrathoning??? Woh kya hai… I run but don’t know this marathoning….

But Maasterji why cant we go to police, why will they not listen to me, I saw Maalik killing. 

He looked at her through the rear view mirror and asked are you not scared? She said hum darthey nahi. Aur sach boleth hai… Baapu ki tharah

He smiled, good but power and money overrule baapu’s teaching sometimes…  And for your voiceto be heard you must have name and fame.

Name and Fame but how…………………… she thought to hers….Can I not go to Amarpura the innocent child in her asked.

He said lets wait for some days as your life is in danger.

Hmmm she closed her eyes and slept as the car drove towards an unknown future…

Maalik killed….. my village people are suffering….. Name and fame…. So many thoughts was pounding the little head…

Hum Maalik ko chodengey nahi…… aur woh chota malik Suraj she smirked in her sleep.. gunda …

****************************

The journey………….

Dhrona’s house

It was a small individual house at the outskirts of Jaipur witha big open ground.  The young man in  his late 30s lived with his wife Anjali.  The couple loved each other as they were not blessed with a child which was indeed pondering them. But as the gentleman he is,  he told her that they will be the child for each other.  He had his own small coaching centre for marathoning and was called by the schools for training.  A man of principles, driven by ethics. Keshav is a bachelor staying as a tenant in the upper room of Dhrona’s house. He wasvery attached to Anjali like his own sibling. Keshav was working in an event management and would do petty jobs as part time to pay for his living and studies.

Where are we going she asked? To your house said Dhrona …..he looked at her. They brought her home……

They reached the house when Anjali was doing her Pooja.  An ardent Durga devotee….. She did the aarti when Chakor set her right foot in…

Anjali……. Coming the beautiful serene lady in her early 30s came with her arti plate.  She saw Chakor and unknown tears… Whose child is this she asked??? Throwing her arms at her…

From today ours he said… Questioning look from her with a tint of tears too.

He quickly briefed about Chakor and all the more Anjali was tightening her grip around her.  Jai mata di please is bachhi ko rakshakarna….

**************************

The Party HQ was pounding KN to find about Kaushal…. The media was also asking where Kaushal is

Two days later……

The Headlines

The journalist Kaushal’s body was found in the forest area of Jhalana.  The police had done the postmortem and have said that he had tripped and fallen into the forest and had died .  His body had decomposed beyond recognition and was being brought to Jaipur for final rites.

No No No shouted Chakor… he was killed… I saw she cried….

It was not rocket science to understand that the evil KN has used his power and money to silence the statutory and the judiciary easily and gone scot free.

The evil laughed… Raam Singh see nobody can do anything tome…We need power.  I will train Suraj to follow my foot step where is he Suraj.

Suraj came to KN haan papa!!! You need to study well and ensure you get marks above that Rahul who is the son of the opposite party…and also from now on start going around to collect the interest from our borrowers.  He grew rough and rude but followed his own norms….. Suraj’s norm…. He built his own castle a bubble around him and with no one true to him as friend he was in his shell but only to please his father who did not care him as a son but wanted him as a pawn for his greed for money and power.

He grew rugged… He was always with his hayabusa and used to spend his loneliness at the shed.

********************************************

 Six years rolled by…………………

The young girl grew into a beautiful 14 year adolescent girl…

She timed and raced in all the marathonings under the able guidance of the Dhrona under the number 501 (I get goosembumps when I mention 501).. She participated in the junior level races.

She would read out all the news about her village and Anjali ensured that she never missed her mai and stood by her during her private studies as her Guru Dhrona wanted her to Focus and Set her Goal to go back at the right time to Amarpura to meet the EVIL in his  Den.

She was walking down the street after her marathoning practice when she saw few boys hitting one boy… She ran and stood looking into the eyes and said ruko why are you hitting… the three boys said move we want his chocolates….. the boy was crying when she quickly took the stones from the ground and hit them with the catapault………………….

The car came by…. Get in came the voice…. Why do you always get into trouble… do you remember you have your 10th exam at the high school.  Yes Masterji…. I remember everything she said.  I want to study,study computer designing and go back to my village to introduce new designs and improve the livelihood of my village people… Amarpura…. How will it be she said to herself….

 

The young handsome lad in his 18 was riding the hayabusa.

He looked from far away the boys beating and the girl hitting them while the crowd was watching….        

He could not see her proper but said while all the whole crowd is watching why is she going to help… Is she Lokmathaa he said to himself… paagal ladki….

He brushed aside and rode to the high school where he had to write the pre board exam for the 12th.

On the way Rahul was therewith his friends who tried to stop Suraj as due to their father’s political enmity they had internal group feud.  Suraj just pushed him with the bike and rode to the high school.

****************************************

That’s the guy….pointed his fingers to him…… just hurt him hard and kill him…………… the mob went inside the compound.

Suraj don’t copy said the invigilator….

He held the gun at his chest and said I you don’t allow me to copy and If I don’t pass this exam none pass…

She saw him from behind………………

Go go go maardho                     .

She covered her face with her dupatta

She pulled him aside towards the room…..

Applied the black colour on him…

Hey who  are you…? He grabbed her …. It was dark… what the hell are you ….

She closed his mouth…Chup…..ekdum chup…… Gundagiri karthey hai thu??

He could not battle his eyelid as she pinned him to the wall ………………………… he was shocked………………

Come its ok shouted his friend…… she ran away………………..

Who is she??? How dare she held my hand and blackened my face….

But the hands was tender but firm…. An unknown feeling………..

Gundaa…. Why does he fight……….

*********************************************

77nikita thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Entertaining update......👏👏👏👏👏

Actually missing the trio of chakor,  suraj and KN😢

Already loving the gunda😍😍 hayabusa is an added incentive to like him more. 😜😜(as if I need one!)

Jokes apart,  story is progressing really well..... 

Waiting for their first meet after all the years ❤❤

sumsukor thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by: 77nikita

Entertaining update......👏👏👏👏👏

Actually missing the trio of chakor,  suraj and KN😢

Already loving the gunda😍😍 hayabusa is an added incentive to like him more. 😜😜(as if I need one!)

Jokes apart,  story is progressing really well..... 

Waiting for their first meet after all the years ❤❤

Niki💃💃🤗🤗🤗

That's a pretty quick and thanks soooo much. 

Hayabusa yepp my love for those heavy bikes always 🤭🤭 bored of jeep... 😜 😜 😜 Thought a bike will be useful 😜 oops 

KN the villian we loved the most to hate.. Equal was his antics, modulation and body language... Hmmmm🙄

Wait wait.... 😜 😜 😜 

sumsukor thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Thanks so much Smita for the lovely words ❤️ 

QUOTE 

Part 4:

Another superb update Sumi 👍👌. The news of Chakor's not being found made Suraj restless & KN furious. It's obvious that as the news of the journalist's disappearance spread through the media, KN became alarmed. Loved the portion Suraj's going to the old shed, the vague memories of baby Chakor & their eventful meet on that day when she held his hand to stop slapping someone but both the time he felt the tenderness😊😊 his unlimited anger, feeling alone, everything was inapprehensible to him, more over that KN was trying to provoke him against Chakor. It's good that the evidence had came into Suraj's hand but alas he didn't realize its importance & changed his dress😕😕. 

It's great that how unexpectedly Chakor got the companionship of her mentor, loved this Guru-Disciple pair like the unmatchable Dronacharya-Arjuna pair👌👌. Her narrating the truth to him, but didn't forget to say chhota malik is Sabkuch 😊😊& smirk saying Gunda 😁😁. Drona's deftly taking her to his house with safety. Loved his small & sweet family, accepting her warmly, guiding her to reach at her goal. I remember the os you wrote recently, there is a reason behind all occurrences though no reason is needed for love but may be in this case, her being known as a marathonar is the reason behind her witnessing the murder. In course of time KN brought the situation under control with his power & influence. On the other hand Suraj's trying to change himself to please his father, but his going to the Shed to spend his loneliness was quite amazing😊❤❤. 

Loved her beginning the journey as a Marathoner, I too felt nostalgic Sumi reading the no 501& the Guru mantra F for Focus, G for Goal 😄😄❤❤. Over all a fantastic update👌👌, waiting for the next as my excitement is increasing. The precap was so exciting & intriguing, eager to know how & when sukor will meet. Thank you.

Unquote 

nemo316 thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Entertaining update 👏

There are similarities with Udaan's story but you added your personal touch.

Interesting precap, she pinned him to the wall, jungli billi 😆.

Eagerly waiting for next

sumsukor thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by: nemo316

Entertaining update 👏

There are similarities with Udaan's story but you added your personal touch.

Interesting precap, she pinned him to the wall, jungli billi 😆.

Eagerly waiting for next

Thanks Mai 

Yes I twined with the show as to link with the already written post i need to do this and missing KN too😊😜. Hope it's OK. 

😁😁😁 Yep cards reverse she pinning him😜

Thanks so much again 

sumsukor thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Thanks Sritama for the insta comment. Happy all are liking this. 

QUOTE 

Super intriguing update..Both Chakor n Suraj's journey d way dey their characters  evolved..it was so engrossing to read..nd again dis update made me so nostalgic..d old Udaan feel is so evident..rude,arrogant handsome Suraj riding hayabusa😍❤ bold,fearless marathon runner Chakor😍❤ruthless KN..Chakor calling Suraj gunda..everything gave me reminded me d old Udaan charm n made me so nostalgic❤❤d precap was full on dhamaka🔥🔥super exited to see Sukor's face off..so eager to see d sparks fly🔥😍loving d way u r developing d story..d tempo is so👌👌a sure shot blockbuster coming up 😍❤

Unquote 

Hope i maintain the tempo 😊

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Posted: 4 years ago

PART V

THE HIGH SCHOOL……………..

The path……………… thorns………….burns…………buds………….will it bloom?

Chakor… why do you get into trouble…Dhrona was chiding… Masterji.. those three boys were hitting that one meek boy… You know I cannot see someone in trouble so I had to help….

Hmm. Ok now do the final exam well and then you can do the next two years in that school, he said.  She has been writing her 10th exam privately and that day was her last exam. She has been coming to this school for the past one week and while she liked the school but felt it was bit of high standards as the students were bit of attitude and specially the boys were bit rough and was always into some fight or the other.

Yes Masterji… I will do Computer Science in my 12th and then do Computer Science Engg. But itni paise??? Bahut paisa karcha hoga na she asked.  I don’t want you to spend so much… she said…

Chakor, you have won many under the junior category races so your prize money though not huge but still they were enoughto fund your studies which you have done privately so far as you donot want me to spend for your studies.  Haan Masterji! You and Anjali Ma have sheltered me …. But I will get good marks so that NGO can sponsor my studies further.

Once you start participating in state level and national level races you will get more fame and name and also money.

Yes Masterji… name, fame to make the world to hear me out.

She was going through her daily newspaper to read about Amarpura only to find KN was growing in power,when she saw the speeding bike pass their car. Vrrrroooooommmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!

Oh god these boys again… how do they get these bikes and Ooooh !!! itni tez… and whats happening???   she saw few boys going behind the bike fast.  Are they raci

Dhrona said  ……hmmm all rich boys who just come to school and study for prestige like a past time.

They were driving towards the school when few meters before they saw few boys getting into a verbal argument and physically too.  They were in the school uniforms while one said lets go go as we have to write the exam… Chakor saw them and one caught her attention who was tall and had a hand band and was alone going towards the class while she had to go to the office room to sign  the 11th application form as it was the her last exam. She was in the class which was  next to Suraj’s class.  She heard few boys saying we will do it after the exams…. But be careful and lets watch for him they said… they will come after the exams they said among themselves. She heard but shoved aside her thoughts and went to write her exam.  She was in her simple salwar suit.

The invigilator was cribbing as to when he would get  a transfer or when the current batch of 12 will finish as they were bit notorious too.  Difficult to manage this one and and the other boys too he said when Suraj sat at his desk with attitude…. The exam started…

He had a note book on the table when the invigilator said. Suraj please donot copy, he was indeed scared as he knows about the cruel KN and Suraj was in Jaipur for his education as Amarpura was bit far away to commute daily. Suraj was staying in their bungalow along with the helpers and would go over the weekend to Amarpura.  He was not interested to study but KN wanted for his political benefit. Suraj did not pay heed and said you know who I am, Suraj Rajvanshi and no one commands me he said. The invigilator said but if you copy my job will be gone when he kept the gun on him and said if you don’t allow me to copy your life will be gone and if I don’t pass this exam none will. With sweat all over the invigilator kept quiet as he know the repercussions. 

The bell rang and the boys and girls were running out of their classes. Suraj came out and was going towards his bike.

Chakor was walking to the gate when she heard the boys speaking to few thugs near the gate pointing the fingers towards Suraj.  That fellow…

who? they said.  all are in the uniform its difficult to identify..

The guy was angry that guy with the hand band you see that guy… 

any friends with him?  the thugs asked.  No he does not have any and even the few are with him as they are afraid of him…. don’t worry… they said. 

Ok they walked towards him…..holding their collars behind…. Her eyes grew wide….

They were six of them walking towards him looking at the handband.

He was going towards the bike stand.

Chakor quickly covered her face with her dupatta and ran towards him purposely hitting against one thug when he missed his feet swirled around falling on the others.  they lost balance and when they stood up he was nowhere to be seen. Where where is he they shouted running towards the stand….

***************

Chakor ran ahead and pulled his left hand from behind pushed to the room beside… the light was not on and was dark and gloomy as it was near the trees. 

It looked like the PT room with charcoal and markers, bat balls, stumps etc and some old furnitures in  there. 

She just held him and  pushed him towards the wall. Hey who  are you…?He tried to free his hand when the hand band got tangled in her watch and came away.  He tried to free himself …. It was dark… what the hell are you ….

Chup ekdum chup she said.looking around.

She saw the thugs running around she pushed him behind the door and applied the black chalk marker on his face without seeing him looking through the door hinges and holding his hand.

He could not battle his eyelid as she pinned him to the wall ………………………… he was shocked………………

His face was dark in that black colour and a light streak of sunshine passed through the only window in the room , just revealing his eyes.  The eyes were so powerful…. She was covered in the dupatta and her eyes were only visible to him which were moving here and there watching out. She was holding his hands and was watching out when he realized indeed she was very close to his face.

The thugs came through and pushed the door to see inside… the door pushed her to him and due to that unknowingly he held her closer to him…. .. where is he, search search they shouted… Both kept quiet…..

She heard the steps moving away.  Who are you and how dare you pull me he said. 

What ? she said…. those thugs are behind you and I saved you.. and you are shouting???

Uggh you saving me…… are you mad and I am not a coward, I can thwart them and you stupid dirtied my face he shouted.

They realized they were clinging when she just moved behind. 

Oh you are a big hero kya…. Look at them they are having big sword like knife inside their shirts.  And do you think you alone can handle them???He looked out to see the swords were sticking out …. Aur thu kya big lady bond??? No but not definitely not a stupid Gunda like you.  I am sure you are one otherwise why will they come for  you…. He tried to remove her hand when she heard the foot steps again…

One of his class friend who saw Suraj being searched came towards the room and whistled. Is it you Ram Suraj asked slowly.. yes they are gone he said softly

Shhh he pulled her and said… ok you go now and I will go in few minutes. She said no no they will again come for you…you go first. He was surprised looking at her eyes…

The thugs were angry that they could  not find and were searching the ground. Ram was scared he said its ok now but I am running away and went off…

They both slowly came out….Who are you he asked when she saw Dhrona searching for her….

Oh god Masterji is searching…..she ran away leaving his hand….. take care she said… she turned around and removed her dupatta and ran towards Dhrona who just ran to her.  Where were you…what happened…. I am fine…kuch nahi….

How did you do the exams he asked.  She said yeah did well and she was looking out for him… He came out with his face in black, he walked towards his bike when one of the thugs called him... hey did you see the boy with a handband in his left…. He touched his hand to see his band missing.  He was about to kick the thug when he realized it was not wise to fight the six with those long knifes.  No! he said and got on to his bike and rode fast.

She was looking out for him…..God whoever it is … please save him… she said Gunda…she adjusted herself to see her watch which was having the handband entangled with hers.  She removed the band… his eyes came in front of her……

He came to his bungalow…..looking at his washroom mirror, he saw his face dark…. Hmmmm she is indeed smart…. He caressed his hand which was held by her.  How dare she closed my mouth and held my hands….But the hold was firm but her hands was tender….and she indeed saved me…. Those eyes…. That tenderness he suddenly had goosebumbs thinking how close she was to him…. an unknown feeling…

Why should she save me!!!  whats her name?

*********************************

You idiots…. You cant do even a small job Rahul shouted…. You are big thugs be ashamed of yourself.

There were the other boys too who came to Rahul with wound marks on their forehead.  What happened to you all he asked.  We tried to manhandle a boy when that girl from nowhere came and catapulted stones at us.

Whaat he shouted… this is our area and the boys should be scared of us. Who is she he asked.  Don’t know but I have seen her always running past that big play ground he said.   Oh ok then bring her let me teach her a lesson he said…. How dare she hurt you both.

*****************************

She was doing her practice…………………..

He was riding the same route on his bike…………………….

The boys were waiting round the corner for her to pass by with their car….

She ran past the car when the hands held her ……………

He vroomed just circled her waist and lifted her and put her in the front and zoomed away!!!!

Chase him they shouted…………………………….

He vroomed vroomed through the lanes and reached river bridge….He went down the bridge  below while they drove past fast above.

Leave me she shouted……

Chup…. He said holding her hands…… covering the stamp that stamp.

 *********************************

You……………….. he was shocked………………you brought bad name to my father he shouted grabbing her head.     And you are ………..

You ……………. She was shocked………………Your father is a murderer cold blooded murderer, she shouted back holding his collar.  Gunda……………… the one who was told as ……….

He cried ……………………………..why did you leave……………………….. he thumped his hands against the tree!!!!

I ran for my life………………….. I saw him kill but none would believe………………………

She stepped into the 11th while he went to the engg college………………….

The recording??????

I just cant believe it………………………….

If this goes to the media everything will go waste at this prime time……………………

Are you sure the opposition asked………………………………. Then we are sure to win the elections.

Kill him I don’t care………….I need to win the election…. I need power……………. I can win only through…..

She ran behind the car……………………………….BOOOOOMMMMMMM she saw the car go up in flames!!!!

 

********************************

Edited by sumsukor - 4 years ago
77nikita thumbnail
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Posted: 4 years ago

Awesome update 👌👌👌intriguing precap.....loved the interaction especially because I tend to imagine MEEJAY in it and their chemistry which we are used to😍😍❤❤❤ loveeeeeeeed suraj.... terribly missing MEEJAY together.... 

Eagerly waiting for the next🙈🙈 do it today na...pleaseeeee