Originally posted by: return_to_hades
Why don't both partners promise to protect each other?
Why does the bride traditionally leave the home to live with groom? Why doesn't the opposite take place more frequently? Why does the bride traditionally take the groom's name? Why doesn't the opposite take place more frequently?
These traditions have started thousands years back, when human being's major occupation was agriculture. Man who tilled the land became stationary. Women whose duty was to maintain household, shifted.
As their used to be age gap and bride was a child, it became man's duty to protect her.
In olden days, prominent name (Head) was neither the man or woman. It was the house or Wada. Every man (irrespective of his age) was the son of that house. Women were daughter or daughter in laws of that house. Surnames might have started from there (name of the house).
Today, proffessions have changed. Culture and rituals which started since then have remained the same.
In south of India, we don't have surnames. Women just carry their father's name irrespective of their marital status, without changing their name. (Even then, there is a bit of patriarchy, as it is their father's name, not mother's).
One can have both parent's surname. But it complicates things further. (Tomorrow if Azad Rao Khan gets married to Aradhya Rai Bacchan, their child's name should be xxx Rao Rai Bacchan Khan). Or change entire convention to mother's surname instead of father's. But it is like changing from left hand to right hand driving. It is not just the car, entire road system need to be changed. Final result is still the same.
To me, rationality not just lies in questioning. It lies in reasoning. "What I am going to be judged as" will not bother me, as long as I am not trying to judge the other.
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If someone asks, what is between my hand and the screen, I may say "nothing" or "my thumb". I will not think about the "thin air" between. I realise the value of this "thin air", only when I am forced to dip my head continuously under water for two minutes.
For most of us, our culture is like that. We never realise its value, when it is surrounding us. As a teenager, I did look at traditions with condescending attitude. Everything was down to either patriarchal or hierarchical mindset. Never bothered to follow any ritual.
Now I am away from all these for years. I am missing their charm. These rituals no more seem patriarchal, they come across as celebrations/ having fun.
Caste no more represents hierarchy. It reminds me of particular festive foods which were prepared in our home, only within our community.
It is amusing, how I am defending those things, which I detested as young.
Age makes us less judgemental. (When I was young, I thought I had "uncompromising attitude". Again another U turn ! ). Today, it is all about accepting and respecting another human being as what they are. There was a time, when I thought "eastern culture" is superior to west. Now to me, every culture has same vulnerable species who are just worried about their tomorrow. Whether their jobs are secured, will their kids have safe life. Fear towards another community/ immigrants (be any state/country) everything stems from the same fear.
I oppose Twinkle because of her judgemental attitude. Whether I believe in it or not is a different issue.
Regarding Diwali crackers. Agree, there were no crackers to begin with. We can safely say the same thing for New year celebration, Christmas lighting. So? There has been change in all celebrations with technology.
I am not disputing, there is pollution. Our ancestors kept the air clean and gave us an opportunity to celebrate when we were kids. It is our (grown ups) duty to keep the air clean. Here we are, uncompromising with our luxury, not bothering about environment. All we do is, ask the kids to sacrifice their fun, who burst crackers once a year. Is that fair?
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