Mil Jaate Hai Jo Bane, Ek Duje Ke Vaaste- Alternate ending - Completed

orion23 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago

My beautiful forum people!

 

How are we doing?

 

I'm sure you'll are still reeling from the after effects of the beauty called "Ek Duje Ke Vaaste"... Rightly so! The magic came back! But my only regret is it should have returned a bit earlier... Anyhow, that confession was so beautiful I'm still hung up there. It made me wonder if I should even write this anymore! But then I thought to myself, the confession was the only absolutely brilliant thing in there, apart from Namik Paul, just like the most of my buddies here, I'm biased too... Kya kare, Itni awesomeness ke aage kuch dikhta bhi toh nahi hai na! I went off-topic, back to this, yes so a lot of you wanted to read an alternate ending and I wanted to remember the show differently. So here's what I'm going to do, I'll do over the last week and a half the way I would have liked it to be. The parts I liked on the show are going to be there as is, the parts I partially liked are going to be slightly modified and the parts that made me wanna kill someone have all together been deleted. I will try and incorporate most of what you guys have suggested. Also will add the scene that was shot down, the scene we all waited for :p Cliched title, I'm a goner for those. And did I tell you'll I love drama, you have been warned!

 

This will ideally be 3 parts. I will try and not stretch it beyond that. But if need be I'll stretch it to 4. Depends on the flow of the story.

Now coming to the update, this is placed on the first night of ShraMan's wedding. Shravan is drunk and had an imaginary conversation with teenage Sumo, a scene I absolutely adore! Shravan gets back to his room and sees Suman sleeping soundly. Ab aage...

 

MIL JAATE HAI JO BANE, EK DUJE KE VAASTE...

 

Banner credit : Prii (Priyam)


INDEX:

 

Chapter one


Chapter two


Chapter three

 

Chapter four

(Part 4 is in two parts, do read both!)


Epilogue

(Epilogue is in two parts as wellπŸ˜‰)

-------------------------------------

 

Also, PMs will be sent out to those that commented on my previous post where you guys said you'd love to read an alternate end. Post this chapter, PMs will be sent out only to people who like and comment on this one. I'm lazy so I'd take the effort only for the people actually reading XD

Enough said, let's get on with this!

- Zoya! 

Edited by orion23 - 7 years ago

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orion23 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago

Chapter one 

 

Shravan returned to his room still reeling from that conversation he had with his Sumo. Correction, imaginary conversation with a teenage Sumo. He was feeling so much lighter and so much heavier at the same time. Lighter cause he spoke to his best friend about all that hurt him and heavier for all that he realized he had done. He slowly climbed up the bed and sat adoring his wife. There was so much to say and he didn't know where to start. So he sat there contemplating if he should awaken her and have a word, his heart said yes his mind said no. Amidst the heart and brain fight he raised his hand a couple of times to wake her up and pulled it back all of those times. The alcohol was taking effect and Shravan dozed off on the pillow next to Suman in fetal position.

 

Suman woke up in some part of the night to her phone buzzing. She saw the caller ID flashing Aditya. That vile man, how dare he call her. She grabbed the phone to give him a piece of her mind, not before she glanced at a sleeping man-child. He slept like a baby. But worry marred his beautiful face, not something she liked. She wanted to know what troubled him so, but there were more pressing matters at hand. So she slowly stepped out of the room and answered her constantly buzzing phone. "Tumhari himmat kaise hui? Mai..."

 

"Shaant ho jao! Abhi toh uss bhooke sher se shaadi hui hai aur tum sherni bann bhi gayi.."

 

"Shravan ke baare mai bolneki himmat bhi mat karna.."

 

"Oho! Possessive!!!" He said in an overly sugary voice.

 

"Yeh bakwas karne ke liye call kia tha?"

 

"Nahi, sach batana tha mujhe uska jiske baare mai tum sunna bhi nahi chahti, kya hai na Suman, tumhe andaza hi nahi hai tum ne kis se shaadi kar li hai!"

 

"Dekho mujhe tumhari faltu ki..."

 

"Baaton mai koi interest nahi hai, yehi na.." He interrupted. "Well it's your loss, cause phir kabhi Shravan ka sahi chehra saamne nahi aayega tumhare na hi kabhi yeh samjhogi ke maine shaadi ki raat jo kia kyun kia?"

 

"Kyun ki you're sick Aditya, iss liye kia tum ne woh sab"

 

"Toh mujhe sick kia kis ne? Aaisa toh nahi tha na mai? Pushkar ka itne saalon ka dost, tumhe lagta hai woh mujhse dosti karta agar.."

 

"I've had enough, mai nahi jaan na chahti hoon.." She cut his sentence.

 

"Theek hai, marzi tumhari..."

 

She cut the call and got back to Shravan's room. She thought back at what Aditya had said. Shravan ka asli chehra? Kya matlab? Kya keh raha tha woh? Shravan ko pata chala toh kitna gussa ho jayega woh... But maine thodi call kia tha usko, she thought. She heard some noise, "Kaun hai?" She asked. She walked towards the source of the sound, it was coming from the window. She walked closed to see something hit the glass. "Yeh kya tha?" She spoke to herself. She peered a little and saw Aditya. Alcohol bottle in one hand while he flung stones with another. "Iski toh mai. Abhi batati hoon.." Saying she marched out of the room straight to the garden of Malhotra Mansion where the target of her anger was. "Tumhari himmat kaise hui! Shravan ne jo haal kia tha bas nahi tha? Aur pitne aaye ho? Soch lo. Tab Shravan sirf mera dost tha aur yeh haal kia tha tumhara, ab pati hai, jaan hi le lega woh, aur iss baar koi rokega bhi nahi usko!" Said Sumo, thundering.

 

Aditya laughed like the maniac that he was. "Tumhara dost!" he said between laughter. "Tumhara pati" He continued laughing.

 

"Bohot hassi aa rahi hai na? Ab tum dekho mai..."

 

"Arey shaant! Mujhe kuch dekhna nahi hai, apne pati ko dikhao jo dikhana hai.." He said suggestively.

 

"ADITYA! How dare you damn cheapster!"

 

"Mai cheap? Accha mai cheap hoon? Jis se shaadi kar ke baithi ho woh kuch kam nahi hai! Tumhe pata bhi hai kya bakwas ki hai uss ne tumhare baare mai?"

 

"Shravan kabhi kuch galat bol hi nahi sakta..."

 

"Shravan koi doodh ka dhula nahi hai, meri bachelor's party mai mujhe aake bolta hai ke jis se shaadi kar rahe ho, uske aur mere husband wife wale relation reh chuke hai. Bola ke Suman aur mere beech Sab Kuch ho chukka hai. Sab kuch! Phir tumne mujhe kiss bhi karne se mana kar diya. Toh aur kya karta mai? Shravan ke saath sab kuch aur apne hone wale pati ko ek kiss bhi nahi! Bohot gussa aya mujhe Suman."

 

Suman was too shocked to say anything. She just kept staring at him dumbfounded as Aditya continued. "Phir ma ne samjhaya mujhe ke tum toh aaisi ho hi nahi. Then I realized ke he played me. That bas***d!"

 

"Enough! Tum mere pati ke khilaf ab ek shabd nahi kahoge!"

 

"Mai sach bol raha hoon Suman!"

 

"Bol rahe hoge sach, kaha hoga Shravan ne tum se yeh sab, par yeh mere aur mere pati ke beech ki baat hai. Usko gaali dene ki tumhari koi aukat nahi. Aur yeh mat bhoolo ke usko bas***d bolna matlab tum Nirmala aunty aur Ramnath uncle ko bhi gaali de rahe ho. Apni ma ko gaali dene se pehle soch lo zara."

 

"Par Suman mai.."

 

"Mera naam mat lo tum! Aur Shravan ne jo bhi kaha ho, tumne jo kia usko justify nahi kar sakte ho tum. Aur ab nikal jao yahan se, iske pehle ke mera pati jag jaaye! Get lost and don't ever come back!" Saying with finality she stepped back into Malhotra Mansion and rushed straight to Shravan's room. Her mind running a mile a minute, did he actually? Could he stoop so low?

 

 

She got back to the room and shut the door behind her. She found him sleeping just the way she left him. She didn't have the heart to bother him but she had to know. If what Aditya said was true, Shravan had a lot of answering to do. She sat next to him and caressed his hair. "Shravan" she called out softly. "Shravan utho.." while caressing his hair with one hand and using the other to nudge his arm. "Shravan please..." He shook mildly, murmuring "Sone do na..".


"Shravan mujhe bohot zaroori baat karni hai, uth jao..." She said a little loudly.

 

"Kya hai Sumo? Din mai chain nahi raat mai chain nahi, kyun ho aaisi..." He said getting up, rubbing his eyes harshly.

 

Suman kept looking at him. Could this man actually have said all of that? Her Shravan would never.

 

"Ab bologi kya hai? Utha diya baat karni hai, ab bol nahi rahi.. Baat toh mujhe bhi karni thi, par tum itne sukoon se so rahi thi toh maine nahi uthaya, par tumne utha diya. Aur ab aaise baithi ho jaise pani ke badle fevicol pee liya ho"

 

"Shravan, Aditya ..."

 

"Aditya kya? Usne kuch kia? Woh aya tha yahan? Uski toh! Subah hi uski akal thikane le aani chahiye thi mujhe. I shouldn't have left him, woh bhi uski maa ke bolne pe.. Mai!" He spoke angrily and got off the bed, now fully awake. "Kahan hai woh kamina?"

 

"Shravan woh gaya.. Relax..."

 

"Gaya? Relax? Woh yahan tha yehi bohot hai mere un-relax hone ke liye! Tumne mujhe jagaya kyun nahi? What were you thinking? Agar woh phir se kuch?" He shuddered. His eyes angrier and his face pained. "Shravan usko baat karni thi mujhse.."

 

"Ab baat karne ko reh kya gaya tha? Tumne usse baat ki hi kyun?"

 

"Shravan woh tumhare baare batana chahta tha.."

 

"Mere baare mai?" Shravan now had an inclination of where this conversation was headed... "Kya batana chahta tha woh?" said he, as nonchalantly as possible.

 

Suman went on to narrate all he said, she ended with a question, "Kya woh sach keh raha tha Shravan?"

 

Shravan looked at her blankly. He knew the truth would be out someday. And he had said all of that hadn't he? Moment of truth he thought. "Haan" he said firmly.

 

"Kya?" said Suman, visibly taken aback.

 

"Haan, kaha tha maine." He said looking straight into her eyes.

 

"Tum kaise keh sakte ho aaise? Aur kya kya kis kis ko batake baithe ho tum? How dare you? Humari dosti ka Mazak bana diya tumne! Itne gir gaye tum ke yeh sab bol gaye? Bolo na Shravan, London mai apne kitne doston ko kisse sunaye hai apni mardangi ke?"

 

Shravan looked at her disgusted. Is this what she thought of him? That he would go around town spinning stories such as these? New low Shravan.

 

When she saw him mum she continued, "Haan waise aur kar bhi kya sakte ho tum? Tumhari taraf dekhega bhi kaun? Tumhare papa ka paisa na ho toh ho kya tum?"

 

"Bas hua Sumo!"

 

"Don't call me that!"

 

"Fine! I won't! But enough! Tumhe apne dimag mai jo kahani banani hai bana lo. Par yeh jaan lo tum koi Princess nai ho jo tumhare saath sone ki kahaniya sab ko sunata baithoon! Aur rahi baat meri, toh mere papa ya unke paison ko koi nahi jaanta London mai. Jaante hai toh Shravan Malhotra ko! Uski akal ko! Aj tak ek case nahi hara hoon mai! Apni successful firm hai meri. Mujh pe, iss shakal pe, iss physique pe, marti thi ladkian. Kismat meri kharab ke unko kabhi ghaas nahi daali. Daalta toh aj tumhare saath nahi hota!"

 

"Toh kyun ho mere saath? Pyaar nahi. Dosti nahi. Toh kyun haan kaha shaadi ke liye?"

 

"Kyunki Nanaji chahte the! Mai unka, papa ka dil nahi todh sakta tha. Mera kya hai? Dil bacha hi nahi hai jo toote! Aur tum, tumhe jab meri shakal se bhi takleef thi toh tum mana kar deti na... Yun toh zabaan bohot chalti hai tumhari!"

 

"Nanaji chahte the iss liye! Aur rahi baat meri, toh mera bhi dil kuch khaas nahi bacha!"

 

They both realized the depth of the statements they had both uttered.  They were both equally hurt. They both did it for people they loved. But was that it? Was there nothing more to their relationship? Suman walked towards the sofa and slumped into it while Shravan walked towards the other end and slumped onto the floor. Both lost in their own thoughts. What had they done? 


The first rays of sunlight brought them both back to the present. They looked up at each other. Pain evident in both their eyes. Neither said anything. A while later Shravan got up and went towards the washroom. He needed to think straight, and what better way than a hot shower.

 

Suman heard the water run, she figured he was showering. At 5.30 a. m. Instead of pacifying her he was showering! Suman sat there listening to the water run. She had to use the loo. So she got up and banged the door. When she got no response, she hit it harder with her fists while yelling, "Bahar niklo mujhe washroom jana hai."

 

Still no response. She started kicking the door too while yelling, "Abhi niklo warna mai tumhare bed pe kar doongi!"

 

"The hell is wrong with you woman! Bacchi nahi ho, control karo!"

 

"Nahi ho raha. Kabse kar rahi hoon. Ab I have to go!!!!"

 

"Accha apni choti ungli se anghoota dabao!"

 

"Don't even try that on me right now Shravan! Last time yaad hai na kya hua tha?"

 

"Haan Pushpa! Sab kismet ka khel hai." The words had barely left his mouth and he started laughing. He turned the tap off and grabbed a towel, wrapped it around his waist and headed to the door. On the other side Sumo could not afford to laugh so she thought of hitting the door one more time with her fists, not having heard the water not running anymore. No sooner did she raise her fist to hit the door, Shravan flung the door open and the punch landed square on his chest.

 

"Ahhh... Damn.. what the f**k! Ahhh.." He kept yelling clutching his chest with both his hands.

 

Suman looked at him in horror. That must have hurt. Was he having a heart attack? Oh God! She punched him a heart attack! She nearly killed her husband in one day of the wedding! "Shravan? Tum theek ho? Maine jaan boojh kar nahi kia.."

 

"Theek hoon?! My chest! It hurts! I can't breathe..." He said gasping.

 

"Shravan you're having a heart attack!"

 

"Say what?"

 

"Dil ka dohra, tumhe pad raha hai.."

 

"Sumo I know heart attack kya hota hai. Pagal aurat.." He moved her aside and sat on the sofa. The sudden impact on his left torso had him flustered. For a moment there he thought his heart would stop. "Sahi naam rakha tha maine tumhara, Sumo!"

 

She offered him water while rubbing his chest where she had punched him. It was red. "Bohot zor se lagi na?"

 

Shravan had a sip of the water before he realized Suman was rubbing his bare chest, he was butt naked other than the towel covering his modesty. Suman kneeled at his feet, rubbing and blowing on his chest and that was that, he choked on the water he was gingerly having and started coughing. He immediately regretted it cause now Suman was kneeling higher, in the middle of his feet, her hair on his torso while she held his bicep in one hand and rubbed his back with the other. Why was she wearing this ridiculous nightgown? It had a deep neck and he could see more than he had bargained for. "Oopar dekho Shravan, muh se saas mat lo." The first order sounded right, looking up would be better, but muh se saas mat lo? With her doing all of this, breathing from the nose would never be enough. When his coughing reduced, Suman asked concerned, "Paani bhi peene nahi aata! Aur well established firm hai tumhari London mai? Really!"

 

Shravan looked down at her and his eyes went to places they should not have. She was angry and hence breathing rapidly. And hence his predicament got a lot more difficult.

 

In a raspy voice he spoke, "Thoda peeche ho jao, aur yeh thoda sahi kar lo." He said, raising the neck of her gown with shaky fingers.

 

"Kya? Pagal ho? Peeche ho jao, sahi kar lo? Iss waqt tumhe mere kapdon pe vishesh tippani karne ki padi hai!"

 

"Sumo, tum, mai keh raha hoon ke..."

 

"Hawww!!!!" yelled Suman.

 

"Tum nange kyun ho?"

 

If Shravan was trying to keep his composure, it was all now lost. "Nanga? First of all maine towel pehen rakah hai, toh technically I'm not naked. And tum kya kapde pehenke nahati ho?"

 

"Obviously not! Mai bhi kapdon ke bina hi nahati hoon.." She said as a matter of factly giving Shravan images he could not ignore. "Par tumhari tarah towel mai bahar nahi aati.."

 

"Aaogi toh I wouldn't mind." He whispered and blushed to himself.

 

"Kya kaha tumne?"

 

"Maine kaha chilla toh aaise rahi ho jaise jab punch kia tab nahi notice kia, jab mere chest ko apne narm haathon se rub kar rahi thi tab nahi notice kia, jab thandi phoonk maar rahi thi tab nahi notice kia, jab almost mujh pe chadd kar meri back rub kar rahi thi tab nahi notice kia. Tumko rokta nahi toh tum toh lagi rehti.."

 

"What do you mean lagi rehti? I was more concerned about your health than the status of the clothes on your body or the absence of those." She turned red as she looked up at his ill clad frame. HE IS HOT. She thought to herself and mentally slapped herself too.

 

"Tumhe ab bhi jaana hai ya tumne bed pe hi kaam kar liya?" Asked Shravan trying to lighten the mood.

 

"Kya?"

 

"Washroom Sumo? Pressure tha na?"

 

"Haan.. haan.. mai jaati hoon... tum kapde pehen lo..."

 

"Hmmm..." He smiled at her retreating figure. Day one of marriage Shravan Malhotra and you nearly scandalized your wife. He got up and got dressed the fastest he had in his entire life. It was about self-control, and around her he generally didn't have much. He sub-consciously rubbed his chest where she had and his insides warmed up. She wouldn't look at him ha? She married him for Nanu? Hog wash! She wouldn't have done all she did to him, for him if she didn't care. Care she did. That he knew. Her hands felt so good on his skin. Sigh.

 

"Ab bhi dard ho raha hai?"

 

"Kya?"

 

"Tumhare chest mai, ab bhi dard ho raha hai?"

 

Now the man in him wanted to say yes, a pained dramatic yes, but the lover took over. He couldn't see her troubled. "Nahi Sumo ab yahan dard nahi hota."

 

"Matlab?" She realized he meant deeper than he said.

 

"Kuch nahi, kisi din aaram se samjhaoonga.."

 

And she understood. She merely nodded in agreement.

 

"Shravan?"

 

"Haan?"

 

"Ab kya?"

 

He smiled and said, "Ab hum pati patni hai, ab aage ki zindagi ek doosre ki jaan liye bina, ek doosre ko heart attack diye bina, choti ungli se anghoota dabate hue guzregi.."

 

Suman smiled that smile that made his heart go woosh each time. This wouldn't be so bad he thought.

 

"Shravan we have a lot of issues..."

 

"I know, I know we do Sumo... And we have our entire lives to sort them out. Don't we?"

 

"Yes we do..."

 

In that moment they knew, they may fight it out for the rest of their lives but they had to be together. They would rather fight with each other than make love to anyone else.

 

---------------------

 

Aj ke liye bas itna hi.

Do let me know what you guys think.

I will try updating as soon as possible..

Take care folks!

Cheers!

Edited by orion23 - 7 years ago
Joyness thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
Zoya..like kar diaab pm bhej
nith125 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
Beautifully written Zoya ! Loved it β€οΈ
Looking forward to read the rest of it 
Edited by nith125 - 7 years ago
castile thumbnail
Posted: 7 years ago
Res
...
ZoyaπŸ€—
Had been waiting all this while for this post and here you are!
I can clearly imagine those two here 😳
Yeh Chomu ki toh me 😑
But our Sumo wrestler is more than enough for him πŸ˜†
I can so damn imagine our very own man-child grumbling and hissing-sissing at being woken up πŸ˜† (made only possible cuz of Namik's flawless bedazzled looks and acting prowess
And then his reaction on Chomu...reflects us fandom peoples' emotions πŸ˜›
Yeh 'Sab Kuch' hum sab kaa piccha kab choode gaa
Bas bolne me hi reh gaya...hum kuch dekhe toh mila hi nahi iss pure sab kuch me πŸ˜•
And then of course...Mr. Hot Pants in a towel
And Sumo... 🀣 πŸ€ͺ
'Mere kapdon per vishesh tippani... πŸ˜† '
Meri maa dimaag kahan hai?!
'Tum nange kyun ho?!'
Aankhe bhi bech aayi kya?!
But she is adorable!!
I swear I was trying to hold back my howls at this point so as not to wake up the entire neighborhood! He he he
And heart attack toh hume aaraha hai...!!

I just can't wait for the next chappy!! Pls update soonish!! Edited by castile - 7 years ago
Sunain thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
Wel m waiting for the upii...n han do count mein da list of pm lover..lolo..do pm me i'll be waiting.. πŸ˜‰
so so much excited.. πŸ˜ƒ
avni01 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
I was looking forward for someone write an alternate ending. πŸ˜›
an_chau thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago
RES... Will come back with a more detailed response later (once I've read the update πŸ˜‰), but for now - Thank You Zoya for making the effort... β€οΈ

UNRES

 "Bhookhe sher!" Zoya, ab kaise kaise images dikha rahi hai!!! Sharm kar...

But on a serious note, can I hug you for writing this alternate ending? Sumo's lambasting of Shravan was so ridiculously worded in the show that I just huffed and puffed my way through the episode... This guy was way more than his father's son in every single way, and if anyone should've known that, it certainly was Sumo... I understood and even supported her outrage against him, but absolutely loathed the way she presented it. Ok, rant over... Thank you Zoya for making your Shravan stand up for himself and reminding Sumo how his worth is really not tied to his dad's bank balance.

That towel scene was fab! Trust these two to fight even through that moment πŸ˜‰

Keep writing Zoya... Fanfics keep our SS alive and well!

 

 

Edited by an_chau - 7 years ago
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Posted: 7 years ago
woow...um excitd...do pm..update soon..
CarpeDiem_365 thumbnail
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Posted: 7 years ago

If you love deeply, you're going to get hurt badly. But it's still worth it." ...#ShraMan

Alternative is delightful! !😊
ShraMan have their warrior gloves on,, while letting the Shields down...😳
They are talking much,,I am liking much...πŸ˜› pyaar se pehley dosti ka fayada hai Sach...

Choti ungli makes a comeback... #FunnyMuch πŸ˜†
Aur ab aaise baithi ho jaise pani ke badle fevicol pee liya ho πŸ˜† #SuperOneliner 
Heart Attack! ! Really Sumo! !πŸ˜†

Missed thappad ki goonj though. ..πŸ˜‰ Sab Mila Dilnasheen Ek Thappad ki kami...πŸ˜‰
Naive Sumo  Affected Shravan β˜ΊοΈ #ForeverBechara πŸ€£

Waiting for the next !
Edited by ishraland - 7 years ago