Posted:
No don't bother. White Knight Complex is not in dictionary. This is a term I had invented for my husband back when we started dating which I still use to describe him.
Can't believe I am using the same term to describe a fictional character today.
Anyhoo... For the people who are confused what White Knight Complex means, well, I use the term for the men in my life (That would be pretty much every man in my husband's family) who believes it is their life's purpose to rescue damsels in distress (that would be the women they have in their life), regardless whether they really want to be rescued or not.
For example: Someone hurts my feelings and I am upset. My husband comes home and sees me eating ice cream out of the carton. He asks me what happened. I tell him what happened expecting a hug or at the very least telling me I am right and they are wrong.
His response? First he'd play devil's advocate where he will point out all scenario where I might have misjudged or misunderstood the situation. When he sees that I am getting mad, he will change his strategy and a step by step strategy worthy of winning World War III will be presented to me so that I can crush that person who hurt me followed by offer of him to "fix" the problem himself.
My frustrated response as usual, "No no. I don't want your help to fight my battles. I can take care of my own problems on my own. Thank you very much. I just need you to support me and hug me. (Finally giving all the hints what he is supposed to do)
My husband's response (awkward hug and totally disinterested now that he no longer gets to rescue me and be my brave Knight): Why don't you call your girlfriends, honey. That's why they are there for.
Aaarrrggghhh... If he doesn't get to fight my battles, he doesn't know what to do. And believe it or not, most men don't know what to do if you don't let them "fix" your problems.
See Dev also has this complex. I don't blame him. He grew up around women who always needed him to solve their problems. So he does not know how to deal with a strong woman.
Today, very sweetly, he tried to protect Sonakshi and in the meanwhile inflicted so much pain and guilt on himself that he is not being able to be happy with that burden and as a result he is in a situation where he can't show his pain and swallow his guilt white it's stuck in his throat crushing his windpipe.
Dev, honey, your heart is in the right place. But regardless of your name, you are human too. So allow yourself human level of tolerance.
You see Truth and Lie have a very strange characteristic.
Even the most innocent lie gets harder to confess and forgive with time but even the harshest truth gets smaller and insignificant with time.
So if you had chosen truth, initially your road would have been complicated. But you could make both Sonakshi and your mom understand that if you don't marry her, there's zero percent chance of a baby because whether she is with you or not, you will never marry anyone else. But with Sonakshi, at least there's 7% chance, not to mention there's option for surrogacy. (Trust me, even the dumbest person knows 7% is better than 0%).
Eventually with time, no one would remember whether you had a baby through voodoo rituals, through surrogates or through natural process. (Also you should have insisted on second opinion. Aisa na ho ki itna self-inflicted pain sab bekar jaye).
But you chose lie thinking either Sona or your mom will block your marriage. But darling, the marriage that started with such a big lie, what foundation it will stand on when this lie is revealed? Lie by omissions are still lies. What will stop your mother or Sonakshi to insist on divorce then and how would you heal the broken trust which she has again placed on you?
Remember I once wrote a post, Honesty is the only policy? Yeah, that was not a joke.
Ishwari, I have no anger on you today. We are all product of our upbringing and you were brought up by female Hitler.
Yesterday you said that you learned more things from your aunt than your mother? I pity you, big time. Your childhood must have been a nightmare which you are now inflicting on your children.
By the way, aunty ji. Where were you when Ishwari was struggling with her children?
Even better, where were you at Neha's wedding?
Aapko aane ke liye yehi time mila tha? Why don't you take a quick trip back to whatever century you time travelled from?
Mamaji, you are such a level headed person. Sometimes I wonder if you were adopted. Then I see Dev's potential and think may be not. The gene might have skipped a few people.
Elena and Dada, you guys are amazing. The bond you have with Sona would be needed when she gets the double shock of her life - 1. She can't carry a baby and 2. Her husband knew and hid this from her.
I hope Ishwari does not think Sona also knew and hid it from her. Dev, if that happens, please speak the truth about whose decision it was to lie. No more vague terms then.
And lastly CVs, please keep showing Sona's family even after marriage. I honestly need breath of fresh happy family air after long exposure of crazy family stink...
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