IshVeer FF : La Douleur Exquise| Important Announcement (Page 51) - Page 34

Chapter 25: Several Shades of Love

The day that followed remained tense, much to Ranveer's concern as Ishani refused to talk to anyone, including himself, for her parents had developed another level of admiration for Chirag after the previous evening. His attempts to talk to her had gone futile and Ishani, with her insane stubbornness, made sure to make things harder for him. That hot headed girl! The task of making her understand Chirag's feelings was getting harder than he had expected.

"Why do you all want me to see him in the first place, Ranveer?" she'd asked and Ranveer looked at deeply.

"Because Mota Babuji wants so."

Ishani shook her head, her eyes glaring, and sighed deeply. "Papa can be right about anything, Ranveer, but he's outright wrong in this case. Better you know that as well. And don't you have a brain of yourself that you can use and see how irritating he is?"

Ranveer looked at her for a few moments, unblinking, watching her, observing her, and her rants suddenly stopped.

"What?" she asked, clearly embarrassed. "Why are you looking at me like this?"

He looked away and sighed. "Because you're an idiot!"

"Idiot? I'm an idiot?" She glared at him again. "Are you some kind of superhero? If you like Chirag so much, go and marry him!"

He had laughed at her until Ishani was forced to leave from his house. She was adamant at not listening to anything about Chirag, and Ranveer realized nothing could be more amusing than this. The girl could be a headache to those who didn't know how to handle her.

And now in the evening, they met again, but in her room. She sat there, reading the book like most of the times he'd found her here. Ranveer tiptoed in.

"Well," Ishani said as soon as she spotted him approaching her. "Oh, so you still want to laugh at me? Go ahead!" She placed the book on the table beside her. "Go on."

"I'm sorry, Ishani," he said. "I didn't mean to ridicule you, alright?"

"I don't want to marry him," she said, and shook her head. "Do whatever you want, I don't want to marry him. Period."

Ranveer clucked his tongue and looked at her, helplessly.

"What happened?"

"Ishani, we've been discussing this for days and days and not reaching any conclusion for this problem," Ranveer answered, taking a seat in front of her. "And as a matter of fact, Chirag has given you the time of a month, right? Why don't you wait, and when the time comes, say no to him?"

Ishani's face brightened. "That's a great idea! But will I have to bear with him for one whole month?" She made her face. "Ranveer, you know I can't tolerate him for a minute beside me. How am I going to do that for a month?" Her mouth opened and she pouted.

Ranveer shook his head, bemused. "Seriously, Ishani? Until a moment ago you were worried about Chirag being there in your life, and now when you've found solution of that problem, you want to create another one. Wow! Girl, it's the matter of a month only. Not an entire lifetime."

"Ranveer," Ishani asked, her tone startling him, "will you be by my side all this time?"

Ranveer looked confused for a few moments, surprised at the worry in her tone. "Of course!" he said, smiling. "All the time."

Ishani gave a smile. "That's like a good boy. You know, Ranveer, no matter how much we fight; no matter I am jealous of you that my Papa loves you more than me or Disha, I can never deny the fact that as long as you're by my side, I feel nothing can go wrong. Nothing."

Ranveer only smiled.

"I'm serious," Ishani said, misconstruing his silence.

"I know, Ishani," he answered.

"Will you always be my side like this?" Ishani asked, sincerity in her voice catching his attention immediately. "And never leave me, no matter what?"

Ranveer felt the air in the room grow tense as Ishani's eyes stared into his, demanding the most innocent promise she didn't yet realize would be broken someday very soon. So he only nodded his head.

"I want an assurance, Ranveer," she demanded.

"Yes," he answered, settling his statement at the most appropriate line. "I'll always be by your side. I may not always be with you physically, Ishani, but whenever you'll need me, you'll find me by your side."

"Promise?"

Ranveer rolled his eyes. How many times were they supposed to make the same promises? "Always," he answered, pulling her nose, and Ishani giggled, soon he joining himself.

"Anyway, did you hear anything from Kaka and Kaki?" Ishani asked as their laughter subsided. The question was sudden and unexpected. He had talked to his parents and neither had shown any hopeful attitude towards the case.

"Yeah," Ranveer said, nodding his head. "Maa said there isn't really hope, but she and Baba are trying."

"Ranveer, I can ask Papa to help them. That's your land which belongs to Kaka. Why don't you let Papa help them? Ranveer, I'm sure Kaka and Kaki will appreciate this?"

"No, Ishani!" Ranveer said immediately. "Mota Babuji has already done so much and asking anything more from him feels wrong. I'm not going to do that. And anyway, you promised me already you're not going to tell him anything, so don't do that. Ever."

Ishani shrugged her shoulders, rolling her eyes at him, and he smiled. "Anyway, who can really win an argument from you, Mr. Ranveer?"

"Exactly. Except you," he said, snickering, as he stood up, Ishani following him immediately.

"Meaning?"

"Well..." Ranveer struggled for a moment. "Once you start speaking, no one has a chance. Only you can defeat Ranveer single-handedly, you know that?"

"Ranveer, I'll kill you!" She loped towards him and Ranveer bolted away out of her grasp. "You wait, Ranveer!"

"Any fool's going to wait and sacrifice himself in the hands of his predator," Ranveer teased, sprinting away from her reach and out of the room. Ishani followed him, now quicker, and neither of them realized they had descended the stairs and entered the hall of the Parekh Mansion. Ranveer grimaced, sticking out his tongue at her. And that intensified Ishani's anger horridly. She leapt past the couch and towards him, wrapping her palms around his neck.

"What did you just say?" Her palms tightened around his neck which she seemed completely unaware of.

"Ishani, don't kill me, alright?" Ranveer said, trying to escape her vice-like grip around his neck.

"You need this! You need this," Ishani chanted again, and went berserk when Ranveer continued to laugh.

"What's happening here?" Harshad Parekh's voice brought them both to reality, and they held back, shocked. "Ishani? Ranveer?" He looked at them. "Why are two fighting like toddlers?"

"She's lost her brain, Mota Babuji," Ranveer spoke first and received a punch on his shoulder.

"No, he has!" Ishani shrieked, as though to prove her point right away.

"Oh, madam, this isn't a house for the deaf. We all can hear without you screaming your lungs out," Ranveer said.

"Good for you!" Ishani rushed to her father. "Papa, he keeps irritating me! Why do you let him speak so much?"

"Because he's like my son, and has equal right on me as you."

Ranveer sniggered at her again.

"See, Papa, he keeps annoying me all the time!" Ishani whined.

"Ranveer, let it go!" his Mota Babuji said, laughing at their childlike antics.

"But, Mota Babuji, you do know what a chatterbox she is!" Ranveer said, defensively. "She's got me into trouble more times than she can remember!"

"I did?" Ishani moved towards him, glaring daggers at him.

"Yes, you got me scolded from Baa."

"And?"

"And from Mota Babuji, from Falguni Maa, from Chaitali Kaki, from Vishakha Kaki, From Mitesh Kaka, from Sharman. Literally from everyone in this house!"

"Papa, he's lying! I did nothing."

Harshad Parekh laughed again. "Ranveer, it's alright," he said. "Now, see, she'll leave this house in a couple of months. Will you still continue to fight with her like this?"

The retort froze on Ranveer's lips and he slowly looked at Ishani, her eyes gleaming with obvious triumph.

"See, that's right," Ishani chirped, now more confident. "You don't realize my importance now, but when I'll be gone, you'll cry the most, Ranveer! I'm sure of that." She laughed and Ranveer smiled slowly, trying not to give away the loud beating of his heart.

"I'm getting late for an important meeting," Harshad Parekh said, glancing at his watch. "I'll get late today."

"Mota Babuji, I'll drop you." Ranveer moved further, but his Mota Babuji shook his head.

"No, Ranveer, I'll manage. And anyway, you've been working a lot nowadays. Go and do other things which I've asked you to do."

Ranveer nodded as Harshad Parekh gave Ishani a hug and left the hall, a newly appointed driver rushing towards him. Ranveer smiled at Ishani and turned back, hoping to escape the turmoil without notice, but stopped at Falguni Maa's voice speaking from behind.

"Ishani, where's your bangle?"She was saying and Ishani gazed down only to find her bare wrist peeking from underneath the sleeve of her kurti.

"Maa, it was suffocating me. I can't put it on all the time!"

Falguni Maa shook her head, exasperated. "Ishani, Chirag's mother gave you the bangle because she trusted you to keep this safe."

"But, Maa..." Ishani protested.

"Ishani, no arguments. Just because your Papa and Chirag have given you a month doesn't mean I'm going to do the same. I want you to say yes when the time comes."

"But I don't love him, Maa."

"Enough," Falguni roared, oblivious that Ranveer was in the hall, too. "Don't you talk about love in front of me. Love is for fools. You need to keep Chirag impressed with how you look, not with your love. All the men are same. They can't resist a woman's charm."

"Maa, Papa loves you," Ishani insisted.

Falguni laughed, a cold heartless laugh. "Do you think your Papa loves me? No, he doesn't. He loves how I look. Your own father left me when I needed him, after I'd abandoned my family for his sake. He left me. I had no money, no looks and no sources to get a better life. And you know what I did with my first salary?"

She waited for Ishani to say something but then continued, "Bought a makeup kit. By the best of the luck I met Harshad one day. And he was so dearly smitten by my looks that he didn't just marry me, but adopted my daughter, too. Ishani, this is what men want. They aren't going to worry about your brain or your brilliance or soul, all they want is a beautiful woman. And when you have Chirag, who likes you, and is ready to marry you despite knowing about your past, what's wrong?"

"Maa, you really surprise me," Ishani said bitterly. "I hope there will come a day when you'll realize and hopefully not regret about your thoughts on Papa." She turned back and rushed towards the stairs and up to her room.

Ranveer watched Falguni Maa leave as well, as he turned back. He knew what made Falguni Maa this cold, heartless woman whom Ishani at times resented. But love had its own shades, at times dark, destructive and fierce, and at times soft and gentle. Once destroyed by it, perhaps it was hard to get back and pick up the broken pieces.  

He watched the place had stood now empty. She needed some time on her own, and he wouldn't disturb her.

"Ranveer, it's great that you arranged money for Gauri, but I guess you don't have to. I've paid the bill for their stay today," Chirag said, as Ranveer, Gauri, Romil and he sat in their hotel room. He watched them awkwardly, unsure how to say that he had only been able to arrange fifty thousand rupees. This was how much he had in his account anyway. Not to cause any more tension on this, he chose to remain silent.

"But, Gauri," he said, turning to her, "you can't stay here forever. Did you try talking to your in-laws today?"

Gauri shook her head. "Not yet. They were furious when we left, and I don't think they're going to listen to us at all for a while."

"Relax, everything will be alright. We're all here, right?" Ranveer said, and Gauri smiled slowly. "I'm just wondering for how long we will be able to hide this from our family."

Her features tensed and she inhaled deeply. "Ranveer, I don't know. But please don't let anyone know about us, alright? I'm sure there will be a solution to this problem as well..."

Ranveer nodded. He knew why Gauri was still reluctant in going back to her home. After she and Pranav had eloped a day before her marriage, Baa had warned her never to come back, stating the doors of the house for Gauri were forever closed. Even if she agreed to go back, Baa would never accept them, as for her her family's honour was greater than anything else. Greater than a life. And that was a bitter truth.

As Ranveer watched Gauri he realized she had changed since last he saw her. She appeared to trust her husband more, even though hesitation was obvious in her actions. But the tiny spark of blush on her cheeks was too evident to be ignored. Her eyes gleamed and her voice was more confident than he had ever remembered. Ranveer smiled at her.

"I'll go and order something to eat," Romil said, breaking the silence. Gauri nodded at him.

"And I'll be leaving for home. Dad's waiting." Chirag stood up and joined Romil by his side. That left Ranveer and Gauri in the room and they shared a smile, before an uncomfortable silence ensued between them, neither of them sure to continue the conversation.

"How are you?" Ranveer asked, his voice a little sharp. Gauri understood the meaning of his question and smiled.

"I'm fine. Better than I thought I could ever be."

"Are you happy with Romil?"

Gauri shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know... I just don't fret over Pranav anymore." Her voice faltered at the name Pranav.

"Gauri, is it really possible to move on after you've loved someone so much?" Ranveer asked, wondering if he should be asking any such questions or not. But since Gauri showed no discomfort to his curiosity, he let the questions come.

 She struggled for a while and spoke. "Once you get married, Ranveer, you're bound by a hundred bonds. But when you're in love, it's just one. Love. That's how Pranav and I were. We didn't care about the world and it didn't matter that it was all against us. Not until I saw him almost die in front of me. He was ready to kill himself for my sake. But when I realized what Baa could do us because her ego was hurt by our love, she would have us destroyed. I could endure the torment on me, but not on Pranav. Maa wanted to see her daughter happy, how could I take away her happiness from her? And Pranav deserved to be happy for all that he'd done for me and my happiness. I got married. Probably he hates me today, and it's good that he does. At least he'll be happy in a while, if not now. I'll be happy if he learns to live without me. It won't hurt him."

"And you?" Ranveer asked.

Gauri sighed. "This was my fate. I know I can never love Romil. But I respect him. And that's probably enough for this lifetime. Ever since we got married, he's been there all the time with me, supporting me like a husband should. If I can return tiniest of the affection and respect he has shown me, it'd be a great feat achieved. As to your question, no. No one can move on from their love. It's always there in your heart, buried. But you learn to live with the loss, and go on in your life. I'm learning too. I hope Pranav does as well."

"I met him," Ranveer said awkwardly, and Gauri gasped.

"How is he?" she asked, and for the first time Ranveer noticed that her voice held slight hint of panic since he had come here.

"He's alright," Ranveer answered thoughtfully. "He said he'll be leaving for abroad in the next two weeks. He plans to settle there."

Gauri sighed and a small smile passed through her lips. "I'm happy he's moving on in life."

"I just hope what path you both have chosen keeps you both happy." How could someone remain happy without the person they loved the most?

Gauri fell silent again and watched outside the window. "Sometimes two people aren't made for each other, no matter how deep the love is. Pranav and I were like that."

Ranveer nodded. It was the truth. No matter how much someone loved another, they weren't sometimes meant to end up together. It was as if the rules of the world were ridiculously made, willing to tear apart the people who loved each other deeply. Why couldn't they accept the love of the two people who couldn't live without each other?

"Did you tell Romil yet?"

"No." She shook her head. "For the first time we're together, in the same room, and it's because we can't afford two. I want to tell him, but I can't..."

Ranveer remained silent.

"When I left home, Ranveer, I left it with the hope that no other girl from our family should suffer the same fate that I did. And see, Ishani and Chirag are supposed to be married. If she truly falls in love with Chirag, I hope her love doesn't go in vain. She deserves the best."

A deep silence followed her statement and Ranveer looked away, concealing his rioting emotions.

Gauri continued. "Baa will always remain against her, but hopefully she finds her happiness with the person she loves. No one should suffer the loss of the love of their life."

Ranveer sighed, taking a deep breath and ignoring the burn of tears in the corner of his eyes. "I hope so, too." He forced a small smile. "When is Sharman coming though?"

"By the evening," Gauri replied.

Ranveer smiled and got to his feet. "I - I'm also going home," he said. "I'll see you soon."

Gauri stood up as well. "Ranveer..." She moved towards him and gave him a hug. "Thank you so much. You really don't know how much your support means to me and Romil."

"Gauri, come on! Stop these formalities. As I said, you're like a sister to me. And whenever you need something, don't hesitate to call me, alright?"

Gauri smiled and nodded her head. "Alright. You should really go home. It's getting late."

By the time Ranveer came home, the mansion and the servant quarters had fallen silent. All were asleep. As he came further, he saw one of the helpers climb the stairs, a tray with a glass of water and a packet in his hands.

"Where are you going?" he asked and the man stopped in his tracks.

"Mota Bhai wanted some medicine, so I was taking it for him."

"Give me, I'll take this for him," Ranveer said with a smile and the man handed him the tray.

As he came further, Ranveer watched the lights of Ishani's room were closed, meaning she must be asleep by now. He smiled at an old memory that suddenly stirred in his heart, and walked past.

"Mota Babuji?" He knocked at the door, and in a few moments the door opened, revealing the ever jovial face of his Mota Babuji.

"Ah, Ranveer! Where were you?" he asked, letting Ranveer in.

"I- I was just stuck in some work, Mota Babuji. Are you alright? Why do you need medicines?"

"No, nothing," he said with a shake of his head. "I had had headache, so wanted the medicines for that." He added as Ranveer's expressions changed to those of worry. "Yes, I met the doctor. And these medicines are coming from there only."

Ranveer smiled. "Thank you, Mota Babuji."

"Ranveer, was Ishani with you?" Falguni Maa said, and Ranveer noticed she had just entered the room.

"No, Falguni Maa. I've just returned home."

Her features tensed. "She isn't in her room either, and nor is she picking up her phone. God knows where this girl disappears. I haven't seen her since this evening."

Something hit Ranveer. "I think I know where she is. Don't worry; I'll get her back to her room." He left and his feet effortlessly led him towards the lone corner of the first floor. The sunlight barely reached there in the daytime or the afternoons, and no bulb lighted the passage at night, except a small one set to see path in case someone needed to go there by accident. There, as he reached the rim of the room, a gentle glow of light radiated from within. A small smile crossed his lips and he opened the door. She lay there on the mat, on her left side were placed the books and behind her a lantern. Ranveer sighed, relieved.

"What are you doing here, Ishani?" he asked her. She wiped her tears and shook her head.

"Maa scolded me again today, so I came here. Nothing more."

"But why?"

"Whenever I'm upset or don't feel like talking to anyone, I come here. No one can find me here in the storeroom."

"Oh!" he answered, and their conversation came to a halt. Even if it had been a couple of months they became friends, there were moments when she felt too intimidating, and he was left with a silence. She hated his silence but no matter how much he'd tried, he couldn't bring himself to say anything more. And this was one of those moments.

"But, Ranveer, what are you doing here?" she asked, interrupting his string of thoughts.

"You know, Ishani," he spoke, trying to get over the perplexing thoughts,"Mota Babuji has decided to send me to school. So, he asked me to fetch the books and uniform from here. But along with the books, I found you as well." He smiled proudly.

"Hmm," Ishani hummed. "You're going school from tomorrow?"

"Yes! Just like everyone else, I will also go and study the books."

She smiled at him and her eyes twinkled with a hint of happiness. She was happy in his happiness.

"But, Ranveer, promise me one thing," she said after some time.

"What?"

"Don't tell anyone about this secret place, alright? Please?" her tiny voice pleaded and Ranveer smiled slowly, her innocence melting him.

"Alright, alright," he said. "I won't. But, now, don't be upset. Why did Falguni Maa scold you?"

"Because I didn't go to the party she was going to."

"It's alright," Ranveer said, getting to his feet. "Now, come to your room." He gave her his hand as they got out.

The storeroom had been their refuge since they were children, a place containing their millions of memories. He hadn't forgotten a single thing about this place. From their innocent, worthless tragedies to their happiest memories were shared in this room. Whenever he passed by this room, they were sure to come to him like the gust of the wind. Slowly, he saw her stir in sleep, turning to the other side where lantern burned. And before she could turn over completely, Ranveer rushed towards her, shielding her with his hand as his skin came in direct contact with the heat of lamp, the flame prickling him painfully. His eyes fell on her, as he saw her sleep peacefully, unaware of what danger she had pushed herself in a few moments ago. His left hand supported her, lest she moved towards the lantern more, while his right hand protected her from the fire of the lamp. Heat caught his hand, gradually burning his skin, as he found it hard to retract himself away without hurting her. Slowly, he turned her over, trying not to wake her up, and lifted her above.

"Ishani?" he whispered, but she was fast asleep already. Without giving another thought, he took her in his arms, her head leaning on his shoulder, and guided her towards her room. The journey was like hundreds of times before when she'd fall asleep either in his room or in the storeroom, and he'd take her back to the familiar destination. But it felt different today. As if the tiniest moments he cherished since his childhood were now numbered, lasting only until she wasn't married. He led her away, without waking up, and lay her down on the bed. For a moment the world froze around him, as he watched her passive form breathe softly, so close to him. A thousand thoughts hovered in his mind, inviting with them their own share of endless longing not meant to come true. In her sleep Ishani turned over again, pressing his aching hand under her right arm, and he almost yelped in pain. But he remained quiet, swallowing down the voice, lest she woke up. He watched her face once again, adoring her like a child, and wondering how they both grew up in such a short span as if they had met just yesterday. Time passed like the wind travelling in the meadows, unhindered.

And suddenly, the voice of his Mota Babuji echoed in his mind. "I want you to make Ishani fall in love with Chirag. I trust you, Ranveer."

A moment's wonder and surprises from his heart were replaced by the melancholy of the truth. He gulped, retracting his hand away from her, uncaring how much it hurt in the process. He covered her with a sheet and moved to switch off the light. His eyes fell upon the bangle Chirag's mother had given Ishani a day ago as a cue to her and Chirag's relationship being accepted by her family, which she had politely refused to put on. Slowly, all the thoughts and comforts from a few minutes ago came to an end, leaving him yearning for a love that would never be his. Not in this lifetime. He was unsure what to make out of Ishani's rejection of this bangle. A part of him smiled, happier, that she didn't love Chirag, not yet; whereas another reprimanded him for betraying the faith his Mota Babuji had shown him.

Irked by the thoughts refusing to torment him, he got out of the room, only to halt at the voices in the near distance. Realizing what the members of the family talked was no concern of his, he began walking again, but stopped back when he heard his name being repeated again and again.

"Baa, stop it!" It was his Mota Babuji's voice. "Stop blaming Ranveer."

Baa huffed in what he thought was her trademark style of brushing others' opinions off. "I'm telling you, Harshad, your faith on that servant will take you down one day. Mark my words. So much trust? Do you even know he keeps wandering in our house at night when no servant is allowed? Think of it: You have two daughters in this house and both are young. Who knows what's in this Ranveer's mind?"

"Baa, please," Harshad Parekh said, tired of his mother's rants. "Ranveer isn't like you think him to be. He will never betray us. Trust me."

"And Ishani? The way she takes so much interest in him is ridiculous! Who knows she'll run away with him one day, making you extremely proud of your babies?" Baa jeered, imitating her son's voice. "You don't know whose blood Ishani is, and you're honouring her like a family?"

"Baa, I trust Ishani and Ranveer," Harshad Parekh said sternly. "Ranveer here is only because of me. You hate him, let it be. He hardly stays at home. Ishani will go to her husband's house once she's married. Until then, stay quiet please. And Ranveer keeps wandering in this house is because I have permitted him. I have asked him to convince Ishani to marry Chirag. Let him do that, Baa. Please. As far as Ranveer is concerned, he will never, ever think about Ishani that way. They're best friends. And, Baa, in this era, a girl and a boy can be friends, too."

Ranveer heard the conversation, surprised, and full of guilt. His feet led him away from the passage and down the stairs, his heart heavy. What to do with this? Was he to be happy that his Mota Babuji trusted him so blindly or to be sad that he was breaking this trust? Was he supposed to rejoice the fact that he was Ishani's best friend or be ashamed that people in this family wouldn't shy away from destroying the sanctity of their friendship for their own ego and politics? He had lived in this house since childhood, and Ishani and his Mota Babuji were his life. Yes, he loved Ishani. He loved her more than anything in this world, but his love wasn't about owning her, making her his own. No. The mere thought itself seemed to repel him. Since his childhood he loved her but never with the intention of wanting her or expecting her to love him back, but striving to see her happy, even if it was without him. And now, the time had come where he had to take another step. The step of leading her towards a new life for which she had always yearned. A life better than she had had in this house, ever.

But it did hurt to see her living a life without him, no assurance helping him. But it was time he gave her a new life.Yes, he would be left behind, back in the past. But that didn't matter as long as she was happy.