I got a call that Tanu got into an accident. I rushed to the hospital with my family members. I saw Tanu crying her heart out saying our baby is no more. What should I do? I tried to console her but she is so affected. As if the shock was not enough, she said Pragya was the reason for her miscarriage.
More than her statement, seeing Pragya there was enough to shock me. She had left our home without telling me anything leaving me to worry about her. The next day she sent me divorce papers without even letting me see her. When I went to her home, they said she had went with her mother for shopping. How can she be so insensitive? My heart couldn't believe she could do that. She didn't give me divorce when I wanted it badly. Why did she want a divorce now? Why couldn't I understand her always? Just when I think I know her, she changes into something else. I know she loves me but if I ask her, she doesn't accept. I don't know why I couldn't take a firm decision when it comes to her. My mind says she is a cheater but my heart shows me all the good things about her. Now, suddenly she appears in the hospital. I even got to know that she admitted Tanu and Nikhil in the hospital. How did Tanu and Nikhil get into an accident? Why were they together? How did Pragya know it? Is there something going among these three? I couldn't believe that Pragya could try to kill a person and especially a baby.
I went towards Pragya who was talking with Daadi this time. She looked completely off and scruffy. Daadi was consoling Pragya that everything would be alright. I couldn't understand why Pragya needed consolation. It was Tanu who needs that but Daadi was consoling Pragya. I thought that they might have been talking about the divorce. As they saw me standing near them, I wanted to tell Pragya that I need to talk with her.
"I need to talk with you", she said and I followed her like her shadow to a place away from everyone else.
"The baby is not yours", she said abruptly. I was enraged that she brought the issue again in such a difficult situation but I didn't say anything because I couldn't go completely against her statement. A part of me thought what if she is telling the truth because I couldn't remember anything that happened on that night.
"First, answer my question. How are you here?", I asked her.
She looked down and turned around with her back facing me.
"How do you know Tanu had an accident? Why didn't you see me before signing the divorce papers? Why did you want to divorce me? What changed your heart?", I was bombarding her with questions and she didn't move or talk.
I went in front of her and grabbed her hands. I shouted at her to answer me but stopped when I saw her continuous tears. She told me that she came as Mugambo only to save me. She told me that Daadi, Bulbul, Purab, Akash, Rachana and even Sarla Maa knew about the baby not being mine. I looked at her in disbelief. It was in no way believable. Why would all the people in my family don't tell me something that I should first know? Why would Daadi plan all these? My head started paining badly as she continued. I didn't realize when tears started filling my eyes.
As I heard about the reason behind Bulbul's death and Maa's paralysis, my hands started shaking. I couldn't believe all what she said. But there was some sense behind this nonsense story. I could understand why Pragya had often went to Daadi's room. I could understand why Purab, Bulbul, Akash and Rachana were friendly with Pragya. It was not just because she was my boss. They should have hated her for she had taken over my property by cheating but they didn't. I could understand why Daadi was not at all happy with me marrying Tanu and why she didn't want me to marry Pragya.
I sat on a chair near the wall not knowing what to do. Pragya ran towards me and kneeled down on the floor near me. She was saying things but I couldn't hear anything. She put her head over my knees and I caressed her hair. I wasn't neither convinced by her nor mad at her. But I felt that we were sailing in the same boat. She was as hurt as me.
Soon after few minutes, Daadi came searching for us and I guess she found out what had happened. She told me everything again and I felt like the worst person on the earth. I wanted to shout "Don't tell it to me again Daadi please" but I didn't as I thought I deserved to hear it again and feel the pain.
Should I blame myself for giving an impression that I wouldn't believe anyone even my Daadi? or Should I blame them for playing with my life even though it's for saving me?
Blood rushed from my forehead to the tip of my toe and I came to know how painful it would be to feel your heart beating and blood pumping and how deafening it would be to listen to your heart's silent cry.
I stood up and walked towards the corridor slowly. I didn't know what were the exact thoughts on my mind at that moment. I just didn't want to feel that pain and I was about to jump from the second floor.
***
"Suniye", I heard her screaming in midnight again. I sat up on our bed and looked at her face. I asked her whether she had the same dream and she nodded yes. She hugged me tightly before I could talk anything. I hugged her back, "It's true that I felt like jumping off from the second floor that day. But I didn't really jump and you know that. I feel that I am fault now. I shouldn't have told you how I felt when you said the truth."
"I am sorry", she whispered in my ear still hugging me.
"You should also tell me whatever you know/feel. Remember the promise? No more secrets", I said and she said yes wiping her tears. She said she felt happy and lucky to have me as her husband. I kissed her forehead, switched off the lamp and we cuddled to sleep.
I still don't know whether I should hold my family members responsible for all the damages done or whether I am responsible for the mess. I really don't know and don't want to know because we are a family.
Note:
The inspiration to write this OS came after reading this quote.
"Yesterday we obeyed kings and bent our necks before emperors. But today we kneel only to truth, follow only beauty, and obey only love." - Kahlil Gibran
I hope you people won't ask me the difficult question "How this quote is related to the OS?". I hope you don't doubt it. 😊
Geet - Hui Sabse Parayee
O Humnava Tum Dena Saath Mera
Anupamaa
Arjun
