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Two silhouettes were sitting on the front porch of a one-story house whose door was adorned with an age old lock. Moonlight was illuminating the chilly surroundings making them look dull and pale. Array looking clouds were wandering like some forgotten time travellers who lost their destination. The crispy windy winters were stabbing cold knives on their bare skins. Covered in a layer of misty fog, the only source of warmth they had was each other and that was what they ever needed and wanted. Both of them were silently sitting in each other's embrace, heart grieving, eyes tearing, soul wrenching and body squeezing with pain oozing out from unseen wounds of their hurt emotions. Heaving in tons of pain, he slowly detached himself from the sobbing petite figure who cling to him like her life dependent on his mere contact. And it was true. Figuratively and symbolically. She knew the minute she will let go of him, it would be her official end. Despite the growing feelings, she couldn't do anything about it. She wanted to but she wouldn't.
"so this is it???" he asked in a voice which no longer she had the ability to recognise. He was so close still so far.
"yeah... this is it" her own voice betrayed her absolute to remain constant and not become a sobbing blabbering mess.
"is it so imp?" he asked with a flicker of hope still lingering in his glassy orbs.
"it's imp..." she can see her resolution weakening by each passing minute.
"i can't live without u..." he breathed in her hair inhaling his fav scent and trying to memorize it for god knows how long.
"u have to... u will... no one dies without someone... they just move on" she said steeling herself against him... against herself.
"what if i don't want to..." he is stubborn and she knows it how he is.
"u will... despite u not wanting to live... u will because it's not in ur hands" her voice was calm... calmness of brewing storm.
"u don't get to say that after what u did..." he accused her and somewhere he was right.
"I know..." her reply accompanied a closed lip smile just like her mind. She closed everything inside her.
"u are selfish... U R SELFISH..." his voice boomed in the quiet serene neighborhood.
She closed her eyes and pulled up her armour of defense but somewhere she knows that this guard is going to fall again.
"U DONT CARE... DO U?... ALL U WANT IS UR HAPPINESS, UR SATISFACTION, UR FAMILY, UR CAREER... IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT U..." he yelled jumping up on his feets, pacing like a madman.
"why do u do that... for once just tell me why would u sign that god damn papers..." he asked again n again crouching in front of his beloved friend but all that he gained was eerie silence. She was trying to frustrate him and it was working just fine.
"YOU... u are planning something... aren't u???... what are u up to this time.. is this some sort of prank u are trying to pull on me... or u finally realised that m not worth a shot.. that our friendship was a lie.. that u just used me... used my friendship... that all of the promises were fake..." he shouted at her face but met with another bout of silence.
SILENCE which now has filled their relationship... their beloved friendship. She, for a life of her, couldn't understand why he is reacting like this. What are they... mere teenagers of 17 but best friends nevertheless. She knew what she feels and she knew what he feels too. She knew she loves him and he did not. Moreover, there isn't a chance of him loving her when she clearly heard him giving a green signal to Saurav to date her. Saurav being the dumb head he is, asked Kabir if he could ask her out seeing Kabir is her best friend and would know what she is like and Kabir being his cheery self, wished him luck with a smile mirroring 1000 watt bulb. With that, she lost her faith in all those fairy tales who gave her a false hope of happily ever after with her first love. Why is she so stupid but she won't let herself hurt anymore. Anyways, she does have to go after all its her crucial year and she has decided to make some use of that scholarship to go away... for good.
His voice pulled her out "do u want me to beg... ok i will do that too Nisha... i beg u to not leave me pls... u know there is only one person for me... that is u... i don't want to be alone Nisha..." he begged her, literally begged her but why? Why is the question whose answer he himself didn't know? Why is he panicking like his oxygen supply is being cut off? Why her departure is having such a brutal effect. Why is she affecting him now?
"Kabir..." oh that sweet voice which can calm him in any anguish. He looked up and saw her tearing. "don't beg... pls don't... its only for some years" she whispered and her armours came crumbling down with the drops of tears falling from his eyes. His cries were her undoing, she let herself mourn the loss of her first love. Today she will let her heartache in order to protect it from a terrible heartbreak in future. He placed his head in her lap... one of his fav places to lie but he never understood why?
Again this why... but he didn't have time to ponder on stupid questions all he want is to forbid her from going away. "don't go... don't go... just don't go..." he cried aloud nestling his face in her lap, shaking it violently. She could feel him shudder, she knew he is crying bitterly but why? She dismissed the question and bent on his already crouched feature, hugging and weeping. The time of her departure was near, its a moment of goodbye.
"kabir.." she skimmed her fingers in his hair feeling their softness "time to say bye..." she pulled his face up "don't cry and don't miss me..." she kissed his forehead while he shed some more tears "I love u my best friend". Her tears blinded her but still she kept staring at the most beautiful creature of mother nature. Her Kabir. Her best friend. Her first love.
I LOVE U... my best friend.
She breathed and he didn't know why his blood sang the chorus of joys and his heart swell with pleasure. A euphoria engulfed him but that "best friend" left a bitter taste in his mouth. Why... oh god he would go bald due to this constant why lingering at his head. He zoned out for long because he totally missed her pleading eyes and desperate kisses she showered on his face. She hoped on her last breath to at least have an effect on him but alas he is just too busy somewhere in his head. She sighed in pain surging through her veins and tried to stop the weighing of hurt on her fragile heart. Finally, she stood up and that pulled him back to reality and once again his heart broke into pieces. She won't stop... because she doesn't want to. But he didn't get up. He didn't want to face her. Not now. Not until he finds the reasons.
She too didn't expect him to bid her a farewell. After all, she broke his heart and is leaving him alone when she had promised to be by her side forever. Heavy feet dragged her away from him, her sole reason of happiness and now her reason of pain. She looked back at him for one last time and captured it into her mind for forever. "I will always love u" she breathed inaudibly and walked off.
A gush of wind startled him but something in it chilled his spine. "i will always love u" he heard and spun on his heels ,almost knocking himself out, to see her shadow going away from him and boy did that hurt... it almost killed him right there. Seeing her fading away, he knew he is broken to not get mended ever. But why???
"i will always love u" he heard it again in the rustle of leaves and somewhere in his mind begin to acknowledge the persistent WHY and his heart stopped beating for several moments before racing thousands mile.
She sat in her car and buckled her up leaving behind the remnants of her broken self, burying them deep in the earth.
But what she didn't know was her doing has sprouted a seed in his heart, which she had planted unknowingly and which finally erupted breaking his shells.
A new feeling...
A new emotion...
But an all too familiar sentiment...
LOVE...
LOVE for her...
A/N - OK GODDAMNIT.. I HAVE MADE TOO MANY MISTAKES IN IT... JUST IGNORE AND IF U FIND KINDLY POINT OUT... gosh they are just TOO MANY
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