Power switch...😳
She looked for water calming down briefly, realizing she was trashing Amma to DUDE
she sniffled... opening the tall bottle
"Will u mock me?" she asked sipping and sputtering as the driver braked unexpectedly
"I am not going to answer that" he said grimly
Amma's words rang in her ears as her tears came back
"Because you will tell Amma? I complained?" she provoked him
He sighed, as he chewed on the seat back at his office
SHE DROVE HIM INSANE
"What happened II?"
"First promise me" she demanded
"I do" he said
Her heart skipped a beat...
GEE WHIZ!!!
SIGH SIGH SIGH
HE SAID I DO?
MY TEDDY BEAR
HAIRY STUBBLY ONE
NOT CUDDLY AND CUTE
NO NO NOT CUTE
I MISS HIM
She leaned back on the seat and imagined being curled up on his chest on the swing, as the sprinklers
went off downstairs, sending up siralling scent of moist earth as the lawns took their evening shower
"I found a position, on KMPG jobs site" she paused
He exhaled...
"It looked like they took my profile and rewrote the very same thing. BTW Bhavna's replacment got approved by HR I got an email from the HR partner this morning
I went online on a whim to see if they also posted her job, which is a
insane expectation u know, they took only 4 months to approve her req, why will they POST it immediately, that will most likely take another 4 months
They will make me cross check, and dot my is and cross my ts on the verbiage a million times, make me say every goddamn politically
correct thing and lie about the hours before the req will ever be ready to be posted online. I dont even know if its internal only or external
He sighed
Her crying had NOTHING to do with Bhavna but she was telling him about a req
"When I was looking for her opening, I found this" she mumbled crying again
"shhh shhh" he soothed
"why do u care... u are not even here, u probably ran away because u dont want to watch ur wife having a melt down" she said bitterly
"And I was tired of Mahavir's omelette"
Mahavir overloaded it with parsley and bell pepper, just cuz R&B happened to tell him one time that he loved it
She giggled, sniffled and whined... "so it is true then?" she asked
"II" he protested
"I want to apply for that position, they split SW Sales & Installation into two teams, "large" vs "small and medium" This is for small and medium" she explained
He nodded "Oh!"
"Amma said I always operate in haste, I really dont know what I want, if I want something I have to get it" II cried softly
"Shhh shhh" "II umm..did??" he stopped
He knew Mrs Iyer was right, and based on what she was narrating he couldnt find anything to be offended about
This hurt seemed deeper, he wondered what else was there to it... hmmm
"To go after something I want, is that such a bad thing?" she asked
"Absolutely not" he said firmly... and smiled
"she said I dont have gratitude and I never follow through" II cried uncontrollably
R&B was shocked, he didnt quite understand Mrs Iyer's outburst, but he could see his wife was hurting very badly
"Do u want to apply for the role?"
"Will u let me?" she asked immediately, in a very accusing tone
He chuckled, hitting mute... he didnt expect her to spring that question on him
"Wh whyy?" "Do u ask that?"
"BECAUSE YOU AND AMMA ARE THE SAME" She randomly accused him "I only like Appa" she said smugly
"He never scolds me, always cares, and is always protective and is always willing to listen, and babies me and cajoles me" she stopped
RAKSHASAN DOES THE EXACT SAME THINGS
OH MY GOODNESS
OMG!!!
SHITTT
Her heart rate soared
"AND lifts all the heavy grocery when we go shopping" "ya" "thats right"she nodded.reassuring herself..
trying too hard to find a distinction between rakshasan and appa
PFFFT!!!
DUDE WILL NEVER DO THAT
LAZY BUM
HE WILL MAKE YOU CARRY IT ALL
AND JUST LEAN ON THE CAR TWIRLING HIS HAIR READING A BOOK
WHILE U CARRY 5 KG OF BHINDI AND TAMATAR AND BAINGAN
WHEN U PUT THE GROCERY DOWN IN THE KITCHEN
HE WILL PICK U UP
LAY YOU DOWN ON THE KITCHEN TABLE AND PROCEED TO MAKE THE MOST HEATED PASSIONATE LOVE
AS YOU ACCUSE HIM OF BEING LAZY
HIS BOOK AND TWIRLING LONG FORGOTTEN
AND
I WOULD FORGIVE HIM TOO
UMM..OH. YAA
RAKSHASANEY
YOU ARE NOT LIKE AMMA OR APPA
YOU START AND STOP MY HEART
YOU ARE THE POWER SWITCH
YAAA
She smiled biting her lower lip
"If u want to apply for the role you should" he said calmly
"U wont mind that I have to have a baby soon?"
"No" he said huskily
He was blown away by the earnestness in her voice
she struggled to find her groove at work she felt cornered and unappreciated
She didnt share much with him
They were still adversaries in many aspects
If she had to compete with him, then she cant have him be her confidante
This was one of those rare occasions where her first shoulder to cry on had shunned her
It would be unfair of him to exploit her vulnerability
"Amma says I wont be able to do a good job. I mean how can she say that. I never give less than 100%. I feel terrible when I do anything less. " she cried
"Sshhh shhh" "there are two things here II" he explained
"Dont go all logical on me" she shrieked
"I wont... I promise... will u please listen?"
"Only if u say nice things I DONT want more of Amma" she cried
"OK how about I love what u do with those fringe locks, when u are nervous" he asked softly
PLOPPP!!! her insides plunged
"Whatt?" she gasped
"When u walk over to the balcony and want to ask something u collect imaginary locks and tuck it behind ur ear as u form the words in your mind" he said clearly
"How u instinctively reach out in sleep and hug me from the back" he continued
"Uhh" she clamped her hand over her mouth, hyper ventilating
Her tears drying fast
"How u shake ur feet many times when u get out of the shower watching the water spray off the anklet" he said
"U have no clue about parenting yet u are so good with the boys" he smiled chuckling
"I am the goodest" she smiled smugly
he chuckled...
"Give it some thought II" he spoke calmly
"I will" she nodded, sadly
I AM CONFUSED
I WANT TO FLEE THE JOB I AM IN
I AM ALSO PREGNANT
I "WANT" TO GIVE 100% TO THE NEW ROLE
I DONT WANT TO MESS UP
BUT I DONT WANT TO BE SEEN AS "OH SHES ONLY TRYING TO GET BY, SHE DOESNT CARE, SHE MARRIED ONE OF DELHI'S WEALTHIEST"
I AM SERIOUS ABOUT MY CAREER
I AM IN IT FOR THE LONG HAUL
"If u didnt want to do SW could u try Treasury or Risk Management or Business Consulting or Audit?" he listed off KMPG's other divisions
Gently steering her away from SW...
"But I am good at this... and " she stopped abruptly
I WANT TO BE ENGAGEMENT MANAGER
I WANT THAT JOB
THEY DENIED ME ONCE
I WANT TO SHOW IT TO THEM THAT I CAN DO THIS
ITS LIKE A COMPULSION NOW
AMMA IS WRONG
I AM NOT GREEDY
I AM NOT...
I WORSHIP WHAT AKKA AND HER DO
I DO
The hurt still lingered... achy and sore
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