Hi guys! I've been reading the OS/SS/FF on this forum for a while and I've always wanted to contribute, although I'm a terrible writer. This is my first OS ever, so all comments (positive and negative) and welcome and much appreciated! Please let me know if there are any places you especially liked or seem too out of character--I'd love to learn and improve from you all. 😊
So, without further ado...
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"RK, woh soap..."
Ragini stopped mid-sentence outside the door to RK's room as she watched him, sitting on the edge of the bed, back facing her. He was holding a framed photograph of Pam.
RK stood and turned to face her. "Haan Ragini, bolo. Kya baat hai?"
"Woh tum...Pam ki photo...RK tumhe phirse pyaar hone laaga hai kya?" Ragini asked, taking a step into the room.
"Phirse matlab? Pyar khatam hi kab hua Ragini?" He stood and turned to face her. "Aur yeh baat to tum se better kaun jan sakta" RK retorted, a hint of sadness in his otherwise jovial voice. He looked away from her, shook his head and smiled. "Haan, shayad Neil ye baat pehechanega..."
Ragini looked at the floor. She knew what it meant to not be with the one you love--used to love, she corrected. She was well aware of the pain when that someone appears in front of you again. And she knew she couldn't think about it, not without regretting ever meeting that man that caused all this pain...
"Yeh tum kya kar raheho RK...jab Devika ko pata chalega to uspe kya betegi. Woh samajh rahihe ke tum uske saat aage badh na chateho...aur tum ho ke apne bhete hua kaal se bahar he nahi aapayeho.
"Aur tum Ragini? Tum bhi toh apne bhete hua kaal se bahar he nahi aapayiho. Tum bhi Dr. Aman ke saat aage badhne ki soch rahi ho. Aur tum aaj, abhi bhi, Neil se hi pyaar karti ho."
Ragini smirked and walked forward a few more steps, enough so that RK could only see her back, not the soft tears that welled up in her eyes and threatened to spill. "Mein Nachiket se pyaar nahi karti hoon" she said with defiance. She hoped that it sounded more firm in real life, because her mind still wasn't buying it. Yeh pyaar nahi hai, she told herself. Pyaar woh hai joh hum dono ke pas 16 saal pehle tha.
She blinked a few times before continuing, masking any residue of longing in her voice. "Aur vaise bhi, tumhare aur mera situation alag hai. Hum tumhari and Devika ki bath kar rahe the, meri aur Aman sir ki nahi." She turned to face hum. "Tumhe nahi lagta ki Devika bauhat hurt hogi jab use paatha chalega ki tum abhi bhi Pam ko chateho?"
"Devika..." RK turned his head and sighed. "Use to mein saf saf bate doonga ki..."
"Ki kya RK? Ragini said, angrily. She was hurt that her best friend may have to deal with losing her one love too and she wasn't going to let that happen. "Ki woh tumhari doosri choice thi? Ki woh bas ek substitute thi...Pam keliye?"
"Toh mein aur kya karoo Ragini?" RK said with a sigh and sat back down on the edge of his bed. "Tumhari tarha uske saat aage bad jaao, jab mein yeh jaanta hoon ki mera dil khabhi uske nahi ban sakta?"
Ragini recoiled and took a half step back. "Tum phirse kya Aman sir ki baat kar rahe ho? Meine tumse kaha na, ki hamare situations alag hai. Aman sir yeh janta hai ki mein unse pyaar nahi karti hoon. Voh mera saat dena chate hai..."
"Saat Ragini?" RK shook his head and looked up at her. "Don't tell me ki tum pyaar nahi dekhte ho uske aakhon mein."
Ragini stopped breathing for a second. Is she doing the right thing? Yes, Aman sir knows that she will never be able to love him, but does that give her the right to marry him and take away any hope of Dr. Aman finding true love? A two-sided love, she added, not like his love for her. No, she thought, letting out a breath. I never forced him to do this. He proposed to me of his own will, after knowing my history with Nachi--she cut herself off. She needed to work on consciously pushing that man out of her mind, otherwise she wouldn't be able to handle him leaving again. After knowing that I am a divorcee and mother of five children. Her heart panged as she remembered Aarav's innocent little face and imagined him behind bars.
"Kya tumhe nahi lagta ki voh bhi pyaar ka haqdaar hai? Aur voh kya--tumhe bhi pyaar karne ka, tumhari pyaar ke saat rehene ka, aur tumhari pyaar ke saat puri zindagi bitane ki haq hai." RK's words snapped her out of her old habit of imagining the worst.
"Toh mein kya karoon RK?!" she yelled. "Aman sir ko bol doon ki 'nahi sir, mein apse shaadi nahi kar sakti kyun ki me apni ex-husband ko kabhi bhula nahi payee hoon?!' Mein Aman sir ka haat chodke Nachiket ka haat pakadh loon?" She sighed, not realizing that this, exactly this, was what her heart was crying for her to do. She turned to face the window, her back to RK and the moonlight brightening the tears that just began to slip down her soft cheeks. "Yeh mumkin nahi hai. Nachiket ke saat mera koi future nahi hain. 9 mehine pehle shayad mein sochi thi thi ki hum dono phirse ek ban sakhte hain, lekin ab nahi. Mein apni zindagi mein aage badh rahi hoon aur Nachiket bhi US chala jayega. Hamara koi contact nahi hoga, koi rishta..." A small tear fell down her cheeck as she swallowed. "Nahi. Rishta hoga. Jitna bhi hum koshish kare, voh rishta toh kabhi khatam nahi hoga. Voh apnapan rahega, hamesha rahega. Lekin ab bharosa hi nahi bacha. Aur bharose ke bina koi bhi rishta masbood nahi ban sakta. Yeh ek baat tum zaroor yaad rakh na RK, rishta ya tumhara aur Devika ka ho ya tumhara aur Pam ka, bharosa ke bina rishta mein mithas hi nahi." Ragini wiped a fresh tear from her face and stared on into the moonlight.
RK stood. "Uh, I'm sorry Ragini. Shayad mujhe voh sab...chodo na, tumhe soap chahiye tha na?" He snapped his fingers, "me abhi lekar aata hoon!"
As RK turned to exit his room, Neil ducked out of the doorway. He turned and walked down the hall to his own room, wiping a tear from his own eye. A tear for all the misunderstandings and for the woman who could never come back into his life again.