Change Your Mind - IshRa FF Chapter - 2 Page 13 (2/21) PMs Later - Page 5

Chapter 1

Bitter Realizations

Raman Kumar Bhalla was a man possessed. He had been played time and again. By the same people - and if there was one thing he was not, it was stupid. He may have been the butt of their ploys once upon a time, but that man had grown up. Gone was the scared, nervous and vulnerable guy; now his name itself inspired fear and adoration in people.

As he stood in front of the gates of Ashok Khanna's house, he promised himself that he would give up his soul to the devil, but he wouldn't let his pain show. He wouldn't let him know the misery he lived in or the sleepless nights he went through. He wouldn't.

The doors to his house, or rather, his brothel were open and Raman hid his grimace as he entered the through doors. His eyes met those of the woman who had betrayed him years ago and for the first time since the start of that torrid affair and the hurricane it caused in his life, he didn't feel anything for her. Not love, not anger, not pity. He felt nothing - and that he comprehended, made him feel good.

His ex-wife smiled in that sugary and false way of hers. "Raman. Honey, what are you doing here?"

He rolled his eyes at her greeting. Years ago, her smiles had melted his heart. He had done everything to get it on her face but ultimately it hadn't been enough. "Stop with the small talk. I want to talk to Ishita."

Something flared in her eyes and then it was gone. "How would I know about that woman? In fact, why are you here to ask about her?"

Before he could reply, he was interrupted by none other than his former boss. Looking all sorts of weird in a red and beige night robe. Ashok Khanna looked nothing like an accomplished businessman and Raman could feel that even the said person felt that. He could see a glint of embarrassment in his eyes, before he masked it with contempt and moved forward.

"Raman Bhalla. What brings you to my doorstep? What have I done to find you at my humble..."

"Look. Your nonsense is not interesting, not to mention not funny. I just want to talk to Ishita."

Ashok raised his eyebrows and then smirked, "As far as I know, you shouldn't be concerned about her whereabouts."

This talk was getting to Raman's nerves. He just wanted to talk to Ishita for goodness' sake. Her words from earlier kept haunting him, and till he got everything straight and knew all the facts, he wouldn't be at peace. And peace was something he desired the most these days.

He could feel his anger seeping into every pore of his body and it didn't take much to hold Ashok's collar and drag him to eye level. Very calmly, he repeated, "Where. Is. My Wife?"

"Ex-wife," Ashok corrected, and felt the first punch landing on his cheek.

***

He looked as Ishita and her lawyer made their way out of the courtroom. He was standing in front of his car, parked just outside the court premises, along with Neil. He could feel Neil saying something, but all his energy and concentration was focused on capturing the details of Ishita's face. She looked thinner and calmer than she was when he had last seen her. She hadn't looked his way since they had come here this morning, and was keenly avoiding his gaze right now too.

"...just this period of separation, and then the divorce will be finalized after another six months. Just hang in there, okay?" He heard her lawyer's words as they passed him and saw her nod to them. Excusing himself from his own lawyer, he made his way to Ishita. What for? He didn't know. But something seemed unfinished between them, and he knew that it never boded well for him when things were felt in the middle. He had been there and done that. With no want to ever go through unanswered questions again.

Her lawyer noticed him first and pointed him out to her. She seemed surprised at first but then nodded at the woman and said something. By the time he reached her, the lawyer was gone and she seemed to be waiting for her.

He simply stared at her - taking in the details of the woman who had been a part of his life once. They had been living apart for a couple of months now, and as much as he despised the woman's being itself, he was eager to know how she was doing. Was she as miserable as him? He wanted her to be - he wanted to punish her for playing with his emotions. For being a part of the vicious ploy Ashok had spun.

"Are you happy now?" was what she asked him. The look in her eyes was the same one he had seen the night he had asked her to sign those papers, and it annoyed him that he didn't know what it meant. He prided himself on being able to read people, what with a cheating mistress for a wife and a backstabbing employer, but this woman always stumped him. Over the months, he'd learnt a few things about her, but considering what he knew about her, and the mask which she wore around him, he didn't know what to believe. But this look - it was chilling. He had seen it somewhere but didn't realize it. It spoke volumes but for some reason he couldn't hear it.

He had jumped out of his thoughts and scoffed. "I am. You mustn't be though, right? All your plans fell to bits, didn't they?"

Her faade started again as she looked confused for a second and then simply sighed, "Raman. I simply don't have the energy to bear your taunts or process them. You wanted a divorce. You are getting one. Why are you here with me then?"

"Stop with this innocent drama of yours. It's finally over and I know all about the plans between you and your brother."

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.  "Look, I don't know what you are talking about and the fact is that I don't even want to know. I have had enough of this."

She turned her back towards him and began to open the door of her car, only to have him hold her by the elbow and turn her. Irritated by him manhandling her, she began to protest, only to be backed to her car with his face inches away from hers.

He could feel her growing heartbeat as they stood chest to chest, and saw her staring right into his eyes, first in surprise and then in defiance. "Leave my hand, Raman. We are in public."

His words were not clipped as hers. They were instead a harsh whisper. "Exactly my point. No need for this act anymore, Ishita. What did you think? That you would play me and I wouldn't know? Did you have a good laugh about it with that brother of yours?"

That was what stung him. He had gone into this marriage without any expectations and being fooled - again - that had hurt. And he wanted her to be as hurt as him. He wanted it more than he wanted to see the next sunrise. He wanted her to burn in the same fire she had forced him to burn in.

She looked confused for all of a minute and then whispered back, "I am not a part of whatever game you are playing, Mr. Bhalla. I don't know what you think my plan was, but it certainly was not whatever you think it was. I was not the one who married the person he detested. I was not the person who has publically humiliated his spouse at every opportunity available. I was not the one who threw divorce papers at his wife's face the moment her infertility came to light. So whatever it is that you think you know, you can shove it up where the sun doesn't shine, because frankly, I don't give a f**k."

So surprised was he by her sudden outburst, that he stood still for a second. And that one second was all she needed to free her hand from his grip and get into the car.

Raman watched as she drove away, not able to comprehend what had happened. This was not the woman he had married. She had been a happy, enthusiastic, lively woman who had found optimism even where it never existed. He had made her suffer for dragging him into an unwanted and loveless marriage and she had simply smiled and moved on. This woman though, was bitter and callous. She was a woman scorned and for the not for the first time since he had married her, he was forced to reconsider. Was she really at fault?

***

His ex-wife panicked behind him and started shouting, "Raman, leave him. I swear I'll call the police if you don't leave our house right now."

He smirked and shook his punching bag a little before answering, "Do it. Do it, Shagun. That won't stop me, because I have absolutely nothing to lose right now. And I want to kill this man so bad that I can taste it. So please, before I actually go through with it, call them."

He felt her apprehension before her lover could see it on her face and he saw the wimp shake his head in a negative before looking back at him. "What is the effing matter with you? You married her. You divorced her. As simple as that. Why do you want to know where she is now?"

"Where is my wife, Ashok Khanna?" was all he repeated.

"I don't know," he replied truthfully. It was as though he could feel Raman's thirst for blood and just wanted him out of there before this could become the talk of the town. He would love nothing more than to see the man behind bars, but being beaten at his own house by a man younger and smaller than him did not sit well with the image he kept.

"How could you not know? Where does she usually go at this time of the night?" Raman asked, quite frustrated.

Ashok stared at him silently hoping he would get the answer. When he simply stared back at him, he answered, "I wouldn't know. She has not been living here and I did not ask her where she was living. In fact I haven't seen her in months."

It was a small moment before Raman punched him again. He was not sure, but he probably broke his nose. "She is your bloody sister, you daft head. What sort of brother has no idea where his sister has been for months? You have always been a sorry excuse for a human being, but your own sister? What is wrong with you?"

He left his opponent's collar and Ashok collapsed on the couch behind him before glaring at Shagun who had made her way to the said sorry excuse and corrected him helpfully. "Not sister. Step sister."

Raman fought the urge to punch her too trying to remember all the good things in life. They were exceptionally hard to come about, but he needed something to stop the migraine he could feel was coming.

So he simply asked the wicked duo the one thing he wanted to know as much as he wanted to know Ishita's whereabouts.

"Did she know?"

He didn't need to expand further to know that they understood what he was talking about. They didn't ask either.

Ashok and Shagun had just looked at each other. Just a little glance. But that was all he needed. To know. To know that she had been played by them just like him. Maybe more so. To know that she had been an innocent victim in all of this. To know that he had wronged her in more ways than he could remember.

And that almost brought him to his knees.

He stared at the couple with so much hatred and poison that it was a miracle they didn't combust spontaneously. He would have spat at them if his mouth hadn't gone dry with regret.

Misunderstanding his silence, Shagun began, "Oh you poor soul. You didn't ask her in all these months of marriage? Must be some sort of relationship."

The giant Rudolph the reindeer next to her had cackled and joined in, "It was almost as easy as fooling you Raman. Not as much fun, but certainly more profitable. You needed what I had and I needed that fool out of my hair and married. It was like killing two birds with one shot."

Raman did not know what he needed more. The murder of the dastardly duo in front of him, or the need to throw up with disgust, or the need to cry and shout in agony.

"You see, her mother was a very sharp woman indeed. She probably knew that Ishita couldn't be trusted with all the wealth she had. She left behind everything in her name and it couldn't be transferred till she actually got married. And if she divorced, well everything would automatically become her step son's, aka, mine. But God! That woman was so boring and uninterested in dating that it was almost impossible to get her into a relationship, let alone marriage. And then you came into the picture. She liked you immediately - I suppose boring people attract each other like flies - and when you came to me with your deal, I made a deal of my own."

It was as though Ashok and Shagun were bragging about who knew more about being vicious and manipulative because Shagun continued where he left off, "Ah! The clause of siring a child with that woman before you got what you wanted. That was my stroke of genius. Ashok had always known about her infertility, honey. It wasn't a secret but well, no one ever told her. You know, she would have felt bad." She said in a mocking tone and then finished, "Either she would have transferred everything she had to Ashok, because she really is that nave, or you would have divorced her after finding out the truth. It was just a matter of which one would happen first really."

Raman stood still, absorbing every inch of detail they poured out, mocking his stupidity and being immodest about how they played with lives left, right and center. All for money.

"Your divorce was pretty fast though. Just seven months the second time around, Raman? I don't blame you though. Even seven months with that woman must have been difficult." Ashok said.

"I know right? She's just so boring and unrefined. That behenji was born into the world with a golden spoon in her mouth or else who would ask such a worthless woman? Bloody sentimental barren dra.."

Shagun couldn't finish her words because the next second she felt a slap on her cheek that shook her entire body. She felt the burn of that slap as she kept her hand on her face and looked into the eyes of her ex-husband. She had never seen him as fiery and angry as he was right then. His body shook with rage and his hands were curled into fists.

"I have never raised my hand at a woman, Shagun. But if you do not stop talking about my wife from that immoral mouth of yours, I'll be forced to do it again."

Shagun's shock must have been palpable because Ashok started to say something but Raman wasn't having any more of this conversation with this deceitful couple.

So he punched Ashok again. This time, he wasn't uncertain. As he turned back and went out of the house, he was quite sure that he had broken his nose.

***

How did it come to this again, he wondered, staring at the waves crashing the shore. Six years ago, he remembered sitting on the same beach, and wallowing in self-pity and distress. And here he was today - right where he began. The only difference was that for the first time the disgust and abhorrence was aimed at himself. Try as he might, he couldn't get the words - hers and Ashok's - out of his mind. They kept going around in circles in his brain till all he could see in front of him was the broken emotion on her face when he had given her those papers.

He had blamed her for all his misfortunes; done everything in his power to be emotionally distant from her and in the end shattered her. All for a mistake she had never committed. Every day, he had seen something diminishing from her personality, but he hadn't given a second thought to it. And now all he could think about was the lively woman he had married and the damaged woman he had thrown out of his life.

It was when he was lost in those thoughts that it struck him. It was sudden and brought unshed tears to his eyes.

Suddenly he knew what that look, that emotion in her eyes was. It was the look of someone who had seen so much anguish that she'd stopped living. It was the look of someone who had been wronged so much that she didn't have anything more to lose. He knew that look.

Because six years ago, Raman Kumar Bhalla, at this every same beach, had had the same look in his eyes.

 

"A man always finds it hard to realize that he may have finally lost a woman's love, however badly he may have treated her." 
 Arthur Conan Doyle, The Musgrave Ritual

Infact better than the novel. You're writing skills amaze me. 

You've got me like :

This hits right where the feels are. So good... 

Placing Raman right where Subbu is. Bas. 

I get it now. The whole "The Unwanted Wife" scenario. The what if with Ishita and Raman. What if she couldn't get the kid. What if she couldn't conceive. 

This is so good. Though I'm worried for Ishita's wealth. Why? Because I'm worldly like that.  

This is so oooh effing good.  Like my own shot of ecstasy. Si good. I did expect it to be good. But not so golden. So amazing. This deserves re reading. 

Imma do math now and then re read it. 

When I had first read the prologue I thought it was shagun signing the divorce papers but what a twist! Oh and also the command you have over words is brilliant😳

The reason I had stopped reading ff was because people take forever to update so I'm just hoping you will prove me wrong and update as soon as you can.

Since the book you have mentioned is along the same plot in going to read it right away. Yes, that's how much I liked it 😊