Is Gehna's decision in Nandu's best interest?

Missesha thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#1
I was quite shocked with Gehna's reason for agreeing to marry Niranjan.
She thinks Nandu sees a father figure in Niranjan and that's why in Nandu's best interest she should comprise and marry Niranjan.

My question is how many of you see a father-son bonding in N-N? I do not see any father -son bonding between the two and that should not be the base of the Gehna's agreement for marriage

The way I see is that Nandu is a teenager and feels the need to be understood by his family. Gehna as a mother often scolds him for his wrong doing, and treats him more as a kid than as a growing teenager, which is what Nandu disapproves sub-consciously.

On the other hand, Niranjan is like a guide to Nandu, who understands him without scolding him, who supports him and who corrects him. Nandu enjoys this comfort and finds it easier to share his mind with Niranjan over Gehna.

Does this little bonding and comfort make Niranjan a suitable father for Nandu? Can a child of Nandu's age easily accept another man as his father? Can someone's comfort / support ever replace the bonding we share with our parents?

Also, will Niranjan make a good father to Nandu and provide him the future that he needs? I see Nandu having a brighter future in BH than with Niranjan or anywhere else.

This is because BH has been his home and he will be emotionally affected if he is made to leave his home at this age. He may feel disowned.

Secondly, Nandu has lot of good influence around him in form of a Dr / MLA brother (also a father figure), working mom and Bhabhisa, his cousins and above all his DSa and her reputation / experience of life. But with Niranjan, who is barely making a life for himself - will he provide everything that Nandu needs ( is used to ) all financially, mentally and emotionally?

Will Niranjan give him anything better than what Nandu already has?

Does Gehna marrying Niranjan have any future for Nandu?

Please share your thoughts.




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GoodDoc_2105 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#2
Not only on her reasons for agreeing for the marriage but her reasons for refusing to consider this idea when she got to know about it both times she was unconvincing.
Dadisa from where she is coming marriage is the best thing and she believes that a woman can rebuild her life even after her husband dies or abandons her.She has Suguna and Anandi Ganga as examples before her.So her belief is strengthened. Whether we agree with her POV or not it is her belief.For her it is a huge step forward. For Basant when Bhairon suggested a widow with children of her own as a second wife she saw red because marriage happens only for woman and a man has to marry only someone pure.Now she wants to Gehna a mother of teenaged child to get married and start all over again.
She tied up Basant and Gehna in Bemel Vivah she realised how it is important to be compatible with each other in all aspects of marriage because she has seen bemel vivah of Anandi Jagya failing and Jagya Gauri marriage failing Jagya Sanchi engagement falling apart.She wants Gehna to have apartner who is compatible with her in all spheres of life.

On both points she was not really wrong.Only thing that is wrong is the way she is approaching the issue that is wrong.

-----------------------
Gehna - She is not ready for a relationship which is quite understandable and yes she is lonely and need of a friend and that was evident in all the good time she had while she is with this Niranjan.Niranjan is part of her past and she wants him to stay there and even if she wants him in her life she wants him like a friend.

Nandu - Yes he misses his father. He feels that he needs to be there for his mother and take care of her and basically wants to grow up fast.
Yes he likes spending time with Niranjan he appreciates the positive role that Niranjan plays in his life but is he ready to give him the place of his father?
I don't think so.

Niranjan - Yes he liked Gehna a lot and he still likes her but he does not have any means to support her or the extensions she comes with namely Nandu and Bhairavi.Yes Dsa made hm think along that direction. He said no and then he changed his mind and said yes despite knowing that he doesn't have what it takes to support her.

I think Gehna should have made it clear to the family that she doesn't want to get into any relationship and also making sure that her children get a stable and secure future is more important.

Had she looked at Nandu more carefully she wuld have realised that though Nandu misses his father and needs a father figure he doesn't want to give that place to anyone and also he wants to take his father's place in his mother's life.

Neither Dadisa nor Gehna had thought about what Nandu wants.

Looks like this marriage is going to happen and there will be lot of troubles from Nandu's front and also if Niranjan becomes Ghar Jamai that will come with it's own problems.

By the time Dsa realises that marriage is not the solution for every problem in life things will be too late.

SPuja thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#3
I don't think Gahna's decision was right. But this is BV and they do show marriage for wrong reasons - I still cannot forget Anandi in zombie state asking Shiv "kar lijiye mujhse shadi". They should have let Gahna remain single or her remarriage because she started liking someone, with whom she want to share her life.
I agree with your analysis of Nandu-Niranjan bonding. Nandu has those grey streaks (we have seen similar traits in child Jagya also) - he goes wrong, but expects people not to scold him, he says sorry and promise that he will not do this again, but after sometimes - again similar mistake. Since Niranjan 'understand' him - he likes Nirnanjan's company. Niranjan saved him from drowning, then found the Basant's watch and lied how he got the watch. He asked the teacher not to tell the family about Nandu's absence etc. A father figure will not do all this - hiding mistakes cannot be a correct way for father figure. Father figure should be strict when need arises. Correcting with love and understanding is limited for minor mistakes. Hiding the truth from family by Niranjan was a bad idea.

At this stage - they could have shown Jagya as father figure, guide and mentor for Nandu. People respect elder brother like father especially after the death of father. Nandu should get inspiration from his brother and should also know that he is there to help him and also to correct him when he goes astray.

But BV will bring twisted logic - a mother agreeing to marriage to someone she thinks her son sees as father figure even though she cannot even think of marriage at present. Why women should sacrifice their life like this? However, in all probability - Niranjan will stay in BH (because he has no one else), Gahna after initial sacrificing mode will start loving Niranjan etc. But I still wish that they do not show this marriage and whenever Gahna (or any other woman) remarries - let it be for her own happiness, of her own free will.

Missesha thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#4
From what I see this marriage is not benefiting anyone and neither is anyone ready for it. Neither Gehna, nor Nandu nor Niranjan
Gehna had accepted and loved Basant and was happy with him. So suddenly to accept another man without feeling a real need is very hard.

Plus Nandu also does not seem to have a great future with Niranjan.

Niranjan may also admire Gehna for her nature and simplicity but it is far-fetched to love her and her extensions and replace Basant's place in her life.

Gehna had rejected Nirajan for Basant back then, when Basant was all set to release her and make her marry Niranjan who was of similar age and compatibilty to Gehna.

I wish the makers had not killed Basant, if their whole idea was to make Gehna re-marry. It would have been more interesting to see how Gehna leads her own life with her family's support.
Edited by Missesha - 10 years ago
RTee thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#5
I personally do not think this marriage will happen. Nandu will vehemently oppose Niranjan taking over his father's place and Niranjan will disappear at least for the time being.

But then BV does not follow my logic.

So if the marriage does happen, we are going to see a Nandu who may initially be pleased at having Niranjan Chachu around all the time and then will start resenting his presence, Nandu will become insolent, mannerless, will not listen to Gehna and certainly not to Niranjan.

The marriage will have the exact opposite effect of what DadiSa was imagining "ek side Gehna, ek side Niranjan and beech mein Nandu aur Bhairavi".

As said earlier, Nandu will resent any man taking his father's place in his and his mother's life. He does not mind a Chachu. And since Gehna is agreeing to the marriage for all the wrong reasons, she will also not be able to convince Nandu that Niranjan is the best thing to happen to them.
Missesha thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#6

Originally posted by: aparnauma


I think Gehna should have made it clear to the family that she doesn't want to get into any relationship and also making sure that her children get a stable and secure future is more important.

Had she looked at Nandu more carefully she wuld have realised that though Nandu misses his father and needs a father figure he doesn't want to give that place to anyone and also he wants to take his father's place in his mother's life.

Neither Dadisa nor Gehna had thought about what Nandu wants.

Looks like this marriage is going to happen and there will be lot of troubles from Nandu's front and also if Niranjan becomes Ghar Jamai that will come with it's own problems.

By the time Dsa realises that marriage is not the solution for every problem in life things will be too late.

I agree with you on bold. This is what Gehna should have done, and this is what DS should have pondered upon. It would have been better if all Singhs would have come to a conclusion together that marriage is not an only solution to one's problem, particularly where children of Nandu's age are concerned.
They should have discussed Nandu's future in depth and his emotional turmoil on adjusting to a step-dad. Particularly in a case like this where Gehna-Nandu do not require any financial or emotional support from a man.


Edited by Missesha - 10 years ago
SPuja thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#7
It would have been better if they had not killed Basant - the story they are trying to portray through Sanchi- Kabra would have looked more interesting and credible for Gahna-Basant. A capable lady taking over accounts of business because the husband is not as well educated and finding to cope after Bhairo went to US - with all his hotheadedness and inferiority complex - Basant would certainly felt slighted to see Gahna managing the accounts where he was barely managing somehow.
Personally, I do not want a failed/strained marriage at this stage for Gahna. So whatever differences - as mentioned in RTee's post should happen before formal marriage. Let Gahna and Niranjan remain friend and let Nandu have company of Niranjan as it is now.
umam thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#8
Thanks Esha for this thread - much needed...

Gehna-Niranjan marriage - the entire basis of this marriage and approach is very unconvincing and very contrived scenes have been shown to convince audience and Gehna that Nandu needs Niranjan as a father figure.
Dadisa and Gehna are yet to talk to Nandu about G's remarriage. They haven't yet spoken to him. What will be his reaction? Am curious on what they are going to show.

When they started showing Gehna taking care of the family business and managing it with confidence, thought this inner confidence will also be reflected in the future decisions she was going to take for herself and her children. Wonder, why writers could not muster up the courage to show Gehna as a strong woman who could be both a mother/father figure to her children guiding them.

DS may have her own reasons for Gehna's remarriage, but Gehna not thinking deeply about it, all the pros/cons,and ramifications of the remarriage? Sorry to say, very disappointing writing for this track..
Missesha thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#9
Umam - Thanks
I agree this is not a convincing writing / execution.

Also what is Dsa's perspective of Gehna's happiness? A man in her life? But the same Ds never married anyone and kept getting strength from deceased husband's memories. She kept getting happiness through her and her son's progress and eventually through family's progress.

I wish Dsa would have thought of empowering Gehna in a similar way after knowing her initial reaction. The changed Dsa would have been the best guide / mentor / mother figure for her young widowed DIL.

It would have been so interesting to see that. It would also show that Ds is not stereo-typing marriage as the only form of happiness but is empowering others to live happily.


RTee thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#10
Unfortunately the deed is done. DadiSa has approached both Gehna and Niranjan for marriage. Now, even if the marriage does not take place, the relationship they shared is lost forever. Gehna will never be comfortable in Niranjan's presence. The hesitation in her behaviour towards Niranjan was already visible yesterday.

Gehna has already lost a friend and Nandu a guide.


And if the marriage takes place will Gehna's friend ever become her husband or will Nandu's guide ever become his father...


Or is this track a bold step in BV's long history of marriages and re-marriages and re-re-marriages towards telling its audience that marriage is always not the answer to everything...women can live alone, be independent, self-sufficient and still be happy.
Edited by RTee - 10 years ago

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