Posted:
thnxx for replying...
aahil is suffering but dnt want to share with sanam...
and sanam should give him some time...
waiting for their lovely moments...
update was good...
thnx for pm and do pm me for nxt update...
Chapter 15:
A few days later, the same incident had been repeated.
Aahil had one his nightmares and woken up in the middle of the night. Sanam could feel him tossing and turning slightly in his nightmare which caused him to wake up in one swift motion as he sat up in his bed.
He saw her open her eyes and staring worryingly at him.
"Do back to sleep" he told her softly.
He was about to remove the sheets and stand up, but Sanam was quick enough to grab a hold of his hand.
She got up on her knees.
"No! You're not going to run away from it anymore!"
"Sanam -"
"No!" She said leading him back into the bed.
"It's late.." He replied trying to change the subject.
"I don't care, Mr. Aahil Raza Ibrahim. I'm sick of you trying to cover this up whenever I bring it up."
Sanam got close to him and cupped his cheek into her soft hands and looked into his big brown orbs.
Fear was visible in his eyes.
"There's nothing to tell" he told her.
"Why can't you just understand?"
"I believe that there is something to tell. I can hear you, Aahil." She said with a painful filled voice.
"I can hear your painful screams at night. I can hear you tossing and turning in discomfort whenever you're going through a nightmare. I know there's something wrong."
She placed a hand on his arm. "You don't have to hide it. I'm here with you and I'm not going anywhere. Please, don't shut me out."
He turned to the side, avoiding her gaze. "It's not easy for me to let anyone inside," he admitted.
"Try me. I'll be a good listener."
A moment of silence went by.
"What are you afraid of?" she whispered.
"Nothing."
"What are you afraid of?" she whispered once again.
She could tell he was struggling with expressing himself and the fact that she knew he was going through an internal battle with himself.
"Let me inside, please?"
He could hear the need in her voice and it almost broke his heart that it wasn't an easy task to fulfill.
"I can't.."
"Yes you can - just like the way I let you inside, so can you."
Aahil stared into her brown eyes and surprisingly they weren't as cold compared to those he had seen in his nightmare. He began to consider her words.
"Remember what you told me? You told me that I should let you love me. Then why wouldn't you let me do the same?"
"I don't want you to feel what I felt" he said not realizing what he had confessed.
His eyes shifted slightly. "I told you when you married me that there would be a side of me which -"
"Which has never been seen or touched, I know. But, let me inside. Let me touch the side of you and bring you out of the darkness. Please?"
Aahil couldn't help but notice the sorrow and pain she was feeling on his behalf. But why was she feeling something he had been through?
He was too occupied with the many memories which were crashing down on him.
The beating, the horror screams, the countless hours of begging, the dark corridor. It made him shiver just to think back on those days.
"You think it's easy to talk about a father who abused you." He suddenly spoke.
Sanam couldn't tear her eyes away from his husband. She was too shocked to hear such confession from the stoic man who had always hidden behind a mask.
He told her about the many incidents he had faced of having an abusive father. It had left a scar on his soul. No matter how much he wanted to forget it or how much he tried to erase the painful moments - it was no use.
"I always thought that the past was a part of me and perhaps it still is." He raised his eyes and met hers.
"The world knows me as a Nawab, who could get anything with money and name."
A bitter laugh escaped his throat.
"Yeah, I probably could, but what you long for the most, is something you can't buy no matter how rich you are."
He raised his gaze to meet hers.
"What did you think? Ke saare zakhm bhar jayenge baat karne se? The bitter reality is that these scars will never vanish. They will stay with me for the rest of my life."
He watched her face as a hint of disappointment came across. She had really thought that she could make some kind of gesture to him.
"You probably think the worse of me that I couldn't do anything to defend myself?" he said avoiding her eyes in shame.
"Don't!" she said causing him to look at her.
"It's brave of you to share this. You're strong, Aahil. I just wish there was something I could have done sooner."
"You have already done so much more than you should have. You have changed me. You have mended my brokenness. You have eased the pain. And that's what you've been doing, Sanam. It will take time for me to heal. Don't feel helpless when you know you're doing something right."
The young woman couldn't tear her eyes away from him.
She sat silently listening to his painful childhood. She remembered all the moments when she first came to the Mansion as a cook.
A certain kind of incident stood apart from the others. She remembered when she had thanked him for paying for her Badi Ammi's treatment and how she had misjudged him all along.
He had stood completely silent with crossed arms, wearing the usually scowl on his face. He hadn't liked the fact that she started to praise him for the good deeds he had done. But something made him snap and he had silenced her.
He preferred to be called the bad boy, the arrogant and spoiled brat - only because he had embraced the image of himself which was not right for him at all.
He had vowed to himself that no one would see the real human side of him.
Sanam finally understood what he had been through. She finally saw the pain in his eyes reflected and his tense body language.
Aahil was too lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice her reach out and place her lips against his forehead.
She closed her eyes as she tenderly whispered.
"The pain will go away. I promise. Let me love you."
She then shared a small glance with him until she leaned in and kissed his cheek and strong jawline, feeling the light stubble tickle her. She kissed his other cheek as he led her.
She slowly reached forward and ran her fingers from his cheek to down his chest. She did it so painfully slow, making sure her eyes were locked with his. She knew it had driven his insane.
"Sanam.."
His voice caused her to notice the need even though it was barely a whisper.
"I know, I'll stop for now."
She placed a few kisses from his throat and neck where her head came to rest.
"That's not what I meant" he groaned.
"But it's enough for today."
"Mrs. Ibrahim, since when did you become a tease?"
"Since always" she said raising her head to look him in the eyes.
He gently flipped them both over, as he ran a hand through her soft hair. He took a glance down beneath him and was truly thankful for having her as a wife.
He didn't know what or how he would have survived the painful past of his.
She had showed him a path to take and assured him that it was not the end even though he may have gone through the worse experience.
Sanam gripped into his hand letting him know that he was not alone. Aahil knew that he would never let go of her either.
"You're secret is safe with me. They're now a part of me as well."
She then placed her lips against his hand and panted a tender kiss on it before she entwined their fingers together.
He nuzzled closer to her neck as a response.
----------
The next morning:
"What time is it?" Aahil spoke blinking a few times. The small sounds in the room had woken him up.
"It's four; it's time for the Morning Prayer." Sanam said tying a white scarf around her head.
He nodded as he got out from the bed and headed inside the bathroom so he could get ready for the prayer time.
It had been routine for him ever since he married to wake up early in the morning and read Namaaz. It always sent a calm feeling in his soul - and I helped him deal with his past as well.
Sanam couldn't help but feel more attractive toward his personality. The change was evident before her and it made her happy.
As they both completed their pre-duties, Aahil placed the prayer blanket down on the floor and stepped on it. He closed his eyes trying to empty his mind and embrace the presence of God.
He raised his hands to his ear and began to pray.
Sanam who was standing a few feet behind him, began as well.
Once getting done, they both raised their hands for the final prayers.
Sanam raised her gaze and noticed how concentrated his body language looked while praying.
Aahil was tense yet relaxed as well. His body slowly shook by the overwhelming emotions which crashed down upon him.
She had an urge to walk up to him and wipe those fallen tears away from his face, but the moment was not hers.
It was his and it did not deserve anyone's disturbance. She respected his privacy and knew he needed this time alone.
She turned her attention back on her own words.
"Ya Allah. These last few years have been hard for us. Our families have paid the price of separation and sorrow. Bless this marriage with happiness and fullness. You know everything and what our heart really desire - nothing is hidden from You." Sanam paused.
"It is only You; who can make our lives the way we wish for. Bless and forgive my husband for his hurtful past. Let the nightmares go away and show him the path where only light is seen. I pray from the bottom of my heart. Shower us with happiness and understanding. Ameen."
****
Chapter Sixteen: https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/115087728
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