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Hey everyone,
Back with an OS after very long, first time i have tried to write the full story from RK's POV, sorry if i have collapsed it at any place, kindly give ur suggestions on it.
Siggy credit - Me for the first time, thank u shriya dear for guiding me
"Dam it!!!! this traffic na, it always happens at my hard times, i need to go immediately, and am struck here with this bloody traffic. "Hey everyone, you must be wondering, whats new with this traffic,as it always happens the same with everyone, i agree, but today, i must say, its not my day. First let me introduce myself, am Rishab Kundra,now am on the way to meet my madhu, she is waiting for me, i have to go today and meet her at the earliest and prove, wonder what i am off to prove , then listen to my story, and you will get to know that.
An year ago
Today am getting married to a girl named Madhubala, like every other guy, i was more excited to see my future wife, but one look at her, and am totally sad. she was a typical 90's girl, with a very long hair, with several folds of a thick bordered dark marroon saree, and with a spectacle which gave her a geek look. Arggh, i put my head down and with side glance am glaring at my nani and my mom, for picking such a girl for me. ME. Am RK, man, girls die to get a look from me,and am a big fool, who gave my word to nani, that i will marry the girl whom she says, am so much blinded in love with her. And now am paying for it, now i can't back off, i nodded and went back,and everything happened just like that and now am standing as the groom , who is going to tie knot to the girl, who is of not his type and there is no room to feel for it.
Here i was called by nani, and she took me to the place where i dreaded most, how much ever i waited for the wedding to be cancelled, even for the simplest reason of a spelling mistake in my name in the inviation.Alas, with no other go, i tied the knot, and there she stood with all the happiness in the world, why she would not be happy, she is getting married to the hottest guy in the town, I didn't paid much attention to her, and avoided her all the times,and night, i acted as if i was busy with a call from my friend who stays with me in US, whereas, in real, am begging him to book me a flight ticket as soon as possible. Then i followed the same for the next two days , and thankfully rohan booked my flight ticket, and i ran off from that place with some lame exxcuse of my work.
3 months later
After so much of argument, i am back to my hometown to attend my cousin's marriage, and i will reach my home within next half an hour, thinking of the last time, how i flew away from here, i let out a chuckle, and then i remembered her face, my wife(so called), how can some one be like that even in today's world, girls wear knee length dress and mini skirts but here she is in some old fashioned saree, and everyone is left with open hair, letting it freely fly with the wind, but she always does a neat plait with her long hair which fall down till her back of the hip. And that glass, my god, why can' t some one tel her about lenses,ok, why do i care about her, its just 2 days, then i will be back to US, where i can search for my kind of girl, as i have decided to move on, and started to search for my type of girl, and after searching for one month, i didn't get even one.
I reached home with warm welcoming from my mom and my nani, but thankfully i didn't see her anywhere. But heard her name from them at times, at first i was happy then i started to wonder where she has been?The whole house is fully decorated, and everybody was in full ceremony mood, and busy with their own work, ladies involved in applying mehendhi and selecting their dresses and accessories, and guys drooling over all the beautiful ladies over there. Radha was looking at the door every now and then, she was eagerly waiting for someone, and she smiled seeing some group of girls there, and i remembered that one among them was my cousin, and they were all back after some last minute purchase, I keenly watched each one of them, to find a girl for me.
And while travelling my eyes from one girl to the other, finally my eyes got fixed on one girl, she was so different, i must say, but wait, i seem to know her, then i got the biggest shock of my life, is she the same girl , who married me, she looked so different, her hair neatly rolled up and clipped, her light make up, and her eyes, gosh, she have just applied kajal and nothing much more,wait her glasses are missing, she was wearing it last time when i saw her,but its not there, but she looks damn hot with those lenses, but it kills me, am waiting for her to have look with those eyes don't i deserve that being her husband, but shit, i never behaved with her in such a way, i wonder whether she remember me after the way i ran off from her.
And then all the girls came down dressed up and she was in a peacock colored saree with her hair plaited, but not the way, i saw her previously, she was damn hot, and then i heard someone say " Madhu, you are looking so beautiful" and she replied back "No atul, Maa suggested me this hair style, and this saree was gifted by nani" and ayesha interrupted, " Bhabi, will u pls leave this plaiting and leave ur hair free" Madhu hesitated a little and then replied, "Ayesha, will do that in the evening function, now gotta go, Maa will be waiting for me" and she left.
Now i understood, why Maa use to sing about her all the times, she seems so caring, OMG, why, am i thinking about her and talk about her now after 3 months, i must be firm with my decision, am moving on in my life. And then the guest started arriving and function started, suddenly i was disturbed with the sound of a song, and i could see her dancing with other girls, and suddenly from nowhere this atul came and bent before her and joined with her in dance,they both danced with each other easily. And they danced for diliwali girlfriend song.
O kasmein waade kha ke apnee pocket money bachaa kay
Aaya tere liye paise waise jod jaad kay..
Ghar waalon ko bhi bye-shai bol-baal kay
Aaya dilli wali girlfriend chhod-chhaad kay
she felt convineant with him, god, why they both have such comfort factor, atul is not her husband, its me, and i left the place and i went to my room and shut the door to keep those sound from me. I felt something strange, its not my way, to have those feel, i rubbed my palms, and kept it on my cheeks and was thinking of the day's event.
Suddenly i felt some one tap on my shoulder, and then i realized, i have slept for hours, and then i turned to the person,and there she was standing with her causal smile, she flashed that smile to me, wow, god , u r so kind enough to me, finally she came to me.And then i heard her speak "Hope you have rested well, mom had kept ur dress on the table, i will bring ur coffee, if u want, the function will start withing half an hour, so can you go and get ready" she ended with a smile, there i realized that she talked like a stranger to me, that is what i have resulted in this 3 months, i just nodded and went to get ready, and she left the room giving me the space for me and waited outside the door.
Once i came out, we both went down, and were accompanied by few couples, actually my cousins and their partners, who came hand in hand, seeing them, she looked at with me, and on my gaze, she turned down. I doubted whether i should rethink about my life. She was busy talking with the guest, and running with my mom and aunt helping them, i saw her all smiling and was praised by everyone for her beauty, that is when i realised, her specs were missing, but she doesn't have any prob with the vision. She was looking mesemrising in that black net saree, with free hair all flying over, i guess this was the look i expected from her, all of sudden she was looking as a perfect match for me, and i saw her chatting happily with everyone, and even with that atul, god, hate u , for
making him my cousin, else i would have punched him hard for taking my place with her.
She was talking so sweet and freely to everyone except me, how can she, we have not even had any formal chat, apart from the one like we had just before in my room, i could see everyone roaming around and with her, and getting her attention, and she being a good observer, listens to everyone,and gives back her feedback, i felt alien in my own house.My nani came next to me and talked with me about the arrangements and how madhu helped with those things.I had enough of the day, everyone speaking about her, God, i guess i should re-think about my decision, if i stay a day more here.
I went to my room, to come out of these thoughts, and opened my wardrobe to change into something casual, but am surprised seeing all ladies dress there, i wonder, whose it might be, and then heard the door creaking sound,and found her standing there, and she poked her head a little into it and said "Sorry, Maa shifted ur things into the corner wardrobe, since u are not here often, and saying so, she closed her wardrobe infront of me,and opened the corner wardrobe for me, where my things are arranged.
After she left the room, i came to close her wardrobe, where i saw some western wear hanging in her wardrobe,i shut my eyes to get me out of thinking her in those dresses,but i forced myself to sleep, and in my dreamu know what happened, i was in bed with her, and she was with me under the sheet and we both were so close to each other, i could feel her, and i traveled my index finger starting from her forehead, where she kept her sindoor and then to her nose, which is more like a button to be pressed, and then her lips, and the next moment, i felt my lips replacing my finger on her lips, and we both were kissing passionately and then we parted for breathe, and then i again placed my fingers back on her lips then lowered it to her neck, i could see her closing her eyes and enjoying it, and before i could do anything, i got up from my sleep with heavy panting and i saw her half-dressed, she has took off the saree and was searching for some dress in her wardrobe, her waist could be clearly seen from my place, and that moment i lost to the lust, i advanced towards her, and immediately placed my hands around her waist, god, she is so soft, and i pulled her towards me and crushed her with my hug, i turned her and see her face which was so pale, she started to say that she thought i was sleeping, so she came to change, but i didn't let her speak any more, i placed my lips on hers and after a moment i got the response from her, and after we parted from the kiss, i looked at her form, and i was turned on, and i pleaded her with my eyes and she nodded shyly, and the next moment i took her to bed, and covered us under the sheets. I don't know whether it was because of my lust or jealous, but i was happy at the moment.
After rounds of love making, yes i don't want to call it as sex, after what i felt with her, we both slept in each other's arms and morning i opened my eyes to find her in a beautiful saree, god, she was more hot than yesterday, and i want her in bed at that moment, but my mom entered and asked me to get ready and placed my dress on the couch and went, i came out after a refreshing bath, i saw her waiting for me, i smiled at her, i guess this is the first time, am smiling at her from my heart, but then i was shocked to see a dhoti lying on the couch, damn it, that was the dress, i have to wear today, but, but , i don't know how to wear it, i was very much used with other dress, mom knows it very well, then why did she gave this dress for me, seeing my reactions, she came near me and asked about it, where i told her my problem,and she offered to help me to wear it, i was little hesitant at first, and she smiled at me, i knew the reason behind the smile,and i stood before her without any shame, and she helped me with it.
We both came down and everyone surrounded her, and she went to help my cousin, i was left alone again, and as usual i was standing at some lonely place, and watching her, and now even she glanced at me,and our eyes met at times, i wonder, why everyone asks her suggestion in dressing, and i found her coming out of the dressing room, and i went near her and garlanded her with my arms and took her to a isolated place behind the house, and she smiled at me, seeing her smile, i started to fall for her, i kissed her soundly and she patted my hands and ran off from that place, telling everyone will search for them.
Then again i found her helping everyone in their dressing, and i asked the same to my nani, whereas she cleared my doubt that madhu was a master in fashion designing, and she has left her career after marriage, i gulped my saliva and looked at her and her image was going on the top in my heart. She smiled at me and came near my nani,and spent little time with her, now i understood, why everyone loves her, she always manages to spend time with everyone.
I went to my room, with the thought, i have to give chance for my marriage, and to me and madhu,i got into my room and dialled rohan's number and spoke to him, he was not only my friend, but a real soul who understood me at all times, who asked me to talk to madhu before taking any decision long ago, and god, i must thank him for that valuable suggestion. I called him and explained how i have changed my decision and how happy i was with it, but i never told anything that happened the previous night between me and madhu, isn't it something personnel between a couple.I explained her how she was attached to traditional dressing thats the reason why she was wearing such a dress and the problem with her lens, due to which she happen to wear the specs, which freaked me, which i got to know from my cousins.
And he started to tease me with how worried i was with the thought of my wife being a nerd or geek, and i shouted back "Yes, i hated her, i don't want me anywhere near madhu, thats why i ran away from my own home, i didn't expect a girl like her to enter my life" and before i could finish it off saying that it was all at past and i have changed my mind, i heard a sound and turned back to see a shocked madhu who had dropped the juice glass which she bought for me, and when she bent down to pick those pieces, she found the divorce papers lying on my bag, which was open, God, why everything happens at the same time. I saw raw pain in her eyes, i went near her and she wiped her tears and backed off.
I am scared, what if she mistook yesterday's incident, so i said "Madhu, yesterday i didn't.." but she guested me to stop and said "You had what is rightfully yours, and now u can avoid me and run off, as u did the last time" her words pierced my heart, i understood her pain now and the last time when i went without informing her, i want to held her close in my embrace and reduce her pain, but could i go near her, after what i did to her. And as expected, i left without anyone's notice, but not before speaking to her.
I knelt before her, and said what i felt for her at first, and how i changed my view on her after coming to know about the real her, but she was in no mood to listen to me, and she was continually shedding tears, so i left everything in her hands and went back to my workplace.
2 months later
Though i spoke to my mom atleast once a week, i didn't have the courage to ask her about madhu, at first i was worried, what if she has told the whole thing to everyone, but later i realised that she didn't speak anything about it, because, if she had told, my mom and nani would have turned into shernis. I was on my bed, as it was sunday, and my phone rang showing the caller id as Home, i just looked at the time, and it was half past seven,i answered the call and i was shocked to hear madhu's voice after two months.I am confused, whether am dreaming, but then i started asking about her, and i was shocked with her response, she said "Am pregnant". I am more and more happy hearing it, but her words crashed my happiness, she said "While preparing divorce, add a clause about the baby, if you want the baby with you at any time" I could understand how tough it was for her to say this, i determinedly replied "We are not getting divorce, i will see you soon" and i kept the phone, i know even she must be shocked with this reply from a because i myself was shocked with my sudden decision, but am happy that atleast i took right decision this time.
2 days later
Everyone at my house was shocked to see me back at home, why won't they? Because am the one who avoided coming back to home all the time, but my mom realized there must be something serious, so she didn't question me, i ran upstairs to my room, oops, our room, and i saw my madhu lying on the bed, with her eyes closed, and the moment i stepped in, she opened her eyes,and blinked it twice, and waited for a moment to conform it was not a dream.I rushed to her side, and placed my hand on her head and bent down a little and kissed her forehead, i could see the tears welling up in her eyes, and then i moved down to her stomach, i caressed it a little and kissed it, it felt like am kissing my little one, and i found my madhu caressing my head, and i stood up and hugged her
Later we both went down and we informed mom and nani about our child, and they were more happy, as we have cleared all our MU.And then i took madhu to doctor for check up. I stayed with her for a week, i didn't let her to step down from her bed, as doctor adviced her to take rest for 2 months.After a week's time, i half-heartedly left her, giving a list of things to be followed individually to Madhu, mom and nani, but in all the three, most things were about madhu, i don't know from when i have turned into a dutiful husband.
one month later,
In this mean while, i wonder, how madhu forgave for what i did to her, how easily she understands me and how she forgave me just like that, started looking into things with much concentration, i don't want any thing to go wrong between us after this, i kept up my promise and spoke to her everyday night, and with mom and nani, confirming that madhu is having food and medicine at proper time. I came back to my work place and now am on arguments with my office to shift me to the office at Mumbai, so that i can be with my madhu, all the time. And i partially succeeded in that, and now i was waiting to get the transfer order, i don't know why, but i have a strange feel, that some thing bad gonna happen, i called and ensured that everyone is fine at home, so i just left that thought and drifted to sleep,as am sure i would surely get the transfer order the next day,and i have even booked my tickets for my trip.
And the next day morning, i got up early, am a sound sleeper, and i don't have the habit of getting out of the bed before 7, but this is strange, i looked at the clock and its 4'o clock, i so want to call and check everyone at my house, but i don't feel so, as they all might get up after 5, so i just switched on some light music, and lay down onthe bed with my eyes closed. Remembering how my thoughts on madhu changed, and slwoly drifted to sleep with a smile on my face.
I woke up with the sound of my phone, i answered it,and i got the answer of my mysterious feel for the past two days, i called up rohan for tickets,and he got me one in economy class, and here am sitting in plane. The pain in my heart was heavier than me, i felt going numb, i raised my head above and asked " Y, is it always with me, god" Whenever i feel am happy and there will be no more problem, some thing will be dropped on my head, and this time, i don't know how am going to settle everything.
I entered my home, with a sick feeling, on how to face everyone, i saw my mom sitting there completely disturbed, i went near her and touched her, she broke down in front of me, my pain doubled with that, i asked her "Where is she?" and my mom pointed towards my room,and i dropped evefrything in my hands,and ran towards it, and i went inside to see a lonely figure curled up on the bed at one corner, i touched her arm, she got up with a jerk,and shock was written all over her face, her eyes were red and puffy filled with grief and agony. I wondered whether she was shocked for my presence, i moved close to her to hold her face, but she ran in swift way into the washroom, i knocked on the door, there was no reply, i banged on it and finally my mom and granny came to the
room, they convinced me to give some time to her, as she had not let a word out of her mouth from yesterday.
I decided to give her some time,and went with my mom and granny to the living room, and snesing it, madhu came out and locked the room from inside, and all that i could hear was her cry for hours, it felt like someone was piercing my broken heart with an iron rod. I crossed the room and waited outside for her to open it,but it didn't.
It was around 4 in the evening, around 8 hours I was waiting for her, she didn't came out for breakfast or lunch. And finally I heard the creaking sound of the door and rushed to her, and I saw her standing with a bag in her hand, i gave her a curious look, but she ignored me like i don't even exist, and started to walk crossing me, i held her hand,and she struggled to get our my hold, i forcefully took her inside and closed the door. I looked at her and before i could ask anything she told me "Am leaving, i will sign the divorce papers once u send me that, you are free from me now" and i could see the pain in her voice while saying this. I held her face and made her look into my eyes, she closed her eyes,and i called out her name " Madhuuu" and she broke down, she sat on the floor, "It was all my mistake, i should have been more careful, i know how much u loved this child, and this child, a lucky charm, who laid a bond between us even before birth,i am not a responsible mother, i am a curse, who spoil everyone's life" I couldn't understand why she consider herself as a curse,and more over it was just a slip, seeing nani falling down, she rushed to her, forgetting her situation, and without a second thought she ran up to the room to get medicine,and slipped on the steps, and now we have lost our child, what is the need to talk about responsibility.
She continued " Let me get off your life, u can marry whomever u wish and have a child, i will no more a trouble for you". I wondered what has gotten into her, does she think all my love and affection was all for that child alone, he smiled pathetically and said "That is what u think of me na, what else can i expect, after what all i did for you?To be frank, it was all my mistake, i never loved the child and thats why it left us" Madhu gave him a questioned look, and he continued " I never told u what i have for u and never let u feel that, it was all again my mistake, am at total fault starting from ignoring u, without even talking to u, then by god's grace i got a second chance with u,and i got to see the real u, he smiled amidst tears,and again i left u after talking to u, but i realised, u were not in the mood to hear anything i told u then,and when i reached back to my work place, i realised all my mistake,and i started to miss u like anything, whatever i see, it remembers me of you, and when my cousin mailed me her marriage photos, all i could see was YOU, and only you, i started to realise that i like you, but when i was about to inform this, u said me u were pregnant, i was the most happiest man then, i know this will reduce the distance between us, and i wanted to take care of you, might be because of my happiness or what i did to you in the past. But again, my work came in between, so i went there and tired my best to convince management for a transfer and after these days, when am happy getting my transfer, i heard this. Actually am not destined to be happy madhu, everytime, something will block me from my happiness, and now.." I can't speak further, as tears blocked my words.
I wiped my tears, and composed myself and said " You are free to go anywhere and lead a happy life madhu,as long as u r with me, there will be no happiness for you, i was cursed to live like this, might be for my rude behaviour with you, but madhu i realise one thing later, the period which i lived with u were the happiest one in my life and i will live till my end with those thoughts, and I love you, but my love was not enough to hold u with me, but am not.." I was cut off as madhu ran and hugged me tightly, and she sobbed " No rishu, i will not leave you, Even i love u more, thats why i decided to leave you, so that.." and she was cut off by me,as i parted from the hug and said " You say u love me and u decided to leave me at the same time" and she replied "No, i thought, u were with me..." and she paused, while i completed the sentence saying "For the child, honestly, i thought it as a chance to be with you, and never thought about the child, maybe thats why god snatched it from us".
Madhu hugged me tight, and i kissed her forehead and said "Never ever leave me Madhu, you are my happiness, i accept, it all started with my lust for you, but later it realised, my love had win over my desire for you" and we both composed ourself and promised each other that we will make peace on loosing our baby, though we both had the pain of loosing it, we never showed it to each other,as the pain will deepen more on sharing it.
6 months later
Madhu remained so adamant, but i convinced her to visit the doctor and it is planned i will take her to the doctor on the next day, but what i forgot was, there was an important meeting planned on the next day,and i was so happy seeing madhu being normal, it was really tough at beginning to bring her to the old chirpy madhu, but i tried my best with help of my mom and nani. And later i realised the love madhu had towards children, so we went to orphanage for a sponsor,and there we got to see the old madhu at first, the way she talks with the children, the love glittering in her eyes, everything clearly showed me that she was yearning for a child,and that is when i decided its time for us to have a child.
Today,
I came running out of my office, once that meeting was over, i tried calling madhu, but as always it went unanswered, i called home and my mom told that madhu missed her cellphone in her room itself, i wonder why this girl always leaves it next to her bed, doesn't she know the use of a phone.I was doing stunts with my car, anyone seeing me would say that, but only i know, what an important day it was,and how tensed madhu would be.Dam it!!!! this traffic na, it always happens at my hard times, i need to go immediately, and am struck here with this bloody traffic.
Hey now u all understood na, y am i so tensed, ok, let me check on my wife first.
i parked the car and entered the hospital and before i could spot her, she came and held my arms, and we entered the doctors cabin. Madhu sat next to me, holding my hand in tension, though i showed myself cool, i was so tensed from inside,and then the doctor came and sat before us " Congratulations Mr & Mrs Kundra" i looked hopefully and the doctor said "Yes, she is pregnant" My world stopped with excess of happiness, and i came back to reality with madhu's pinch, but it is nothing compared to the happiness i have, she came closer to me and murmured " Rishu.. um.. no..I... u.. doctor.. ask" i smiled and asked doctor, "Will there be any complications" and the doctor said "Nothing as of now, but ask her to take the medicines properly"and she turned towards madhu and said "This time, u will be more careful na" and we left the cabin and reached our car.
And the first thing I did was to hug my madhu,and gave her a passionate kiss, and she forgot everything and there was happiness all over her face. I knew how to make my madhu smile, as am her lovable pati, ha ha ha.We reached home and my mother and nani were too happy with the news, and they all stuffed madhu with all her fav stuff leaving me alone like a stranger, wait actually i have equal share in bringing this good news, but no one seemed to care.
I saw madhu sitting alone on the sofa reading some magazine, i wena dnback hugged her and said "Some one seem to forgot me" she smiled and turned towards me and pulled me for a kiss. I panicked and shouted "stoppp".She was confused.
Excuse me, you all have heard my story of my lust and love na, we will surely call u back once my son comes on this earth, til then pls give us some privacy na
Ok guys, how was it, first thought to name it Love or lust, but it was first lust at the beginning, so named it Lust or Love.
Udne Ki Aasha
Kumkum Bhagya
