Bleeding Blue - A OneShot

Hi...

I am back and i think this is absolutely the WRONG time to be posting this 😆😆 Everyone is in Zaya land after todays episode.

Kuch to hai tujhse raabta😳😳😳😳😳

I tried to do something different. Lets see how it comes off. Basically i am planning to do a colors series on Zaya(Hopefully) if u guys like this idea.

Laal Ishq is done

Now its time for Blue😉😉😉😉

Fingers crossed. 😃😃😃Hope u guys like it😃😃😃

Bleeding Blue...

It was the usual hot and sultry night of Mumbai. Silence loomed eerily as there was no wind to soothe the haunting stillness of the night. The midnight blue sky rose clear, covering humanity in its depths as most people were deep into oblivion, blessed by an inner tranquility.

The stark stillness of the night was broken as a white Mercedes came racing through the gate and stopped abruptly at the doors of the Barkat Villa. A young man strode out, looking every inch the blue blood aristocratthat he was. He walked unhurriedly towards the house, his mind preoccupied with thoughts of his true blue' wife.

Gorgeous was but a superficial word to describe him. Tall, lithe well toned body coupled with a striking face made him stand out even in a crowd. His jet black hair and dark chocolaty eyes added to his appeal. No one looking at his outer charming boyish demeanor could guess that below the surface lay a man with seething emotions and a complex persona.

He had been a free bird all his life, flying high, untamed and wild; not answerable to anyone, apni marzi ka malik. Just like the deep blue oceans; or the clear celeste sky, he was a beautiful paradox; metaphor-ised perfectly by these wonders of nature. Reckless, never ending, exciting; full of unknown depths and secrets; but with a peaceful tranquility oozing from their surface.

That was Zain Abdullah.

Koi Fariyaad Tere Dil Mein Dabi Ho Jaise

Tune Aankhon Se Koi Baat Kahi Ho Jaise...

Like a request is hidden deep down in your heart

As if you have said something with your eyes...

The clock struck 12am as he entered the house, loosening his tie as he walked along. A slight smile touched his lips as he fingered the knot of his tie, recollecting how his stubborn wife had made all his ties ready-to-use by getting the knots in place and putting them in his cupboard.

He massaged his head where he could feel a throbbing headache start. His shoulders were stiff from sitting too long in the chair and he desperately needed some coffee to make him feel human.

As he passed the dining room, he found her standing by the dining table, setting up two places as she laid down dinner for them. His face broke into an unbelievable smile and happiness shone in his listless eyes, the worries lifted off his shoulder, taking in her smiling eyes which beckoned him towards her. She still looked the same as she had when she left. Was it just 7 days? It felt like a few millennia had passed by while she was gone. Her eyes were shining with adoration as she looked at him as if her world spun around him.

Those blue-kohl lined eyes which kept questioning him were finally in front of him.

"Aalya!" His heart was thudding loudly as he nearly ran to her. "Aalya!" he whispered in reverence, unable to believe what his eyes where seeing. "You came back..." He sighed, gratitude, anger and elation vying for supremacy as he saw her after so many days.

Tears fell from her eyes, each drop piercing his heart. His hand moved involuntarily to her face, intending to wipe of those precious pearls which were now flowing freely.

*Pooofff*

His hands felt only empty space, as she disappeared before he could touch her.

He pulled his hand away shocked as pain hit him once again.

Hard.

He shook his head in bewildered ache. Not only was she lingering in his dreams, now she was haunting him even while he was wide awake. Everywhere he turned; her eyes beseeched him, like they had that last day when she had questioned him. But he had been unable to read the angst and insecurity in them.

And now he was left, lost and floundering in the cavernous blue pit of hisremorse.

Jaagte Jaagte Ek Umr Kati Ho Jaise

Jaan Baaki Hai Magar Saans Ruki Ho Jaise...

Like a lifetime has passed while we stayed awake

As if life remained yet the breath has stopped...

It had been a week since his greatest wish had been granted to him.

Seven whole days.

168 agonizing hours.

10080 timeless minutes.

604800 excruciating seconds since she had left.

He should be out, celebrating with his buddies, partying away like he used to before she had turned his life upside down.

But he was left counting the hours since her departure, trying to get on with his life and behave as if everything was back to normal.

You are free Zain, she had written while leaving him.

Zain Abdullah was once again the free bird that he had always been. He was free to fly as high and as far as he wanted, unaccountable and unbound to anyone but the celestial vista that he wanted his life to be.

But was he free? He questioned as he passed by the landing where he had last seen her. Those questioning eyes of hers would haunt him forever. How could he have not noticed the pain that shone through those pleading eyes?

He closed his eyes as the loneliness hit him again. He had never felt so alone in his life.

Zain Abdullah had always been a peoples' person but now he was running away from the crowd. He was surrounded by his family, his friends, but it felt like he had been living in a vacuum. Nowadays he spent his whole day in the office, working so that he could escape the barren emptiness that his life had suddenly become.

Chand Jaan came to offer him dinner, which he politely refused, lying that he had eaten at the hotel. He could see the concern in her eyes, but he was helpless at the moment to ease her worries. He turned away, walking with leaden steps, delaying his entry as much as possible inside that one place where he least wished to be.

Har Mulaakat Pe Mehsoos Yehi Hota Hai

Mujhse Kuchh Teri Nazar Poochh Rahi Ho Jaise...

Our every meeting leaves me with the same feeling

As if your eyes are asking me something...

His room.

His empty lifeless room.

Wasn't this the very room he had fought tooth and nail with her to reclaim?

He entered his room, his eyes involuntarily seeking out the picture on herwall, the photo of their Nikah which she had refused to remove from the room. For some reason, she had left it behind, and he couldn't make himself remove it either.

And so it hung there. A blueprint of what life had bestowed on him and what he had been too thickheaded to cherish.

His eyes met hers in the photo. It was now a routine for him, entering the room to meet those pleading eyes.

Her eyes! He couldn't forget the look in those eyes when she had questioned him about her leaving him. They had been searching his and screaming something which he had failed to realize at the time. So lost was he in his own bubble, that it had never occurred to him that maybe she dint share his feelings.

The feeling of a dark blue cloud descending on him grew within. His restlessness increased making him feel as if his life was walking away from his grasp and there was nothing he could do to stop it. His mind may not accept it, his heart may deny it, but his soul recognized that something vital was missing which left him devoid of any feelings. The pain in his head and body was nothing compared to the intenseness of his throbbing heart. And the worst part was he didn't even know why he was feeling the pain, why he was grieving, why his soul was screaming in anguish. He dint care for his MKB, or did he?

If he dint, then why this pain? Why this anguish? Why did his life feel like it had no meaning, why this emptiness?

He looked around at the room, the cerulean walls, with his matching teal bed sheets and covers. It was exactly as it was before she had changed it. But now it all looked lifeless to him, so dull. It was like the soul which breathed life into his domain was missing. Barrenness was all that was left.

He turned away to go with the routine, freshened up and headed to bed. After an hour of tossing and turning, he sat up against the headboard; it looked like it was going to be yet another sleepless night.

It seemed like it had been a blue moon since he had slept peacefully. Nowadays, what little sleep he got was interspersed with long hours of staring at the foot of the bed, where her face used to be burrowed nose deep into the blankets.

Raah Chalte Hue Aksar Yeh Ghumaan Hota Hai

Woh Nazar Chhup Ke Mujhe Dekh Rahi Ho Jaise...

While walking down a path,I get this feeling

As if your eyes are secretly watching me

(Next day morning)

*Splasshhh*

Zain drove through the water, fiercely intent on his morning workout, swimming lap after lap, till he was exhausted. Even after a virtually sleepless night, he was feeling the pent up energy which refused to leave him in peace.

The turquoise of the pool reflected the sunlight, gleaming off his wet body as he finally emerged from the pool. His eyes involuntarily went to the window of his room, expecting to see her there.

He knew it was a habit of hers; she used to watch him secretly from there. He could almost feel her eyes on him; her gaze had been secretly flattering while her lips mouthed her platitude of besharam' and Allah tauba'.

She had been an enchanting contrast. Secretly admiring him from far but whenever he caught her staring at him, she would blush and falter, her eyes falling in shyness as if he caught her watching some blue film. He had loved putting her through the paces, just to see her all flustered and disconcerted. They had unknowingly started forming a bond. It had started off with theirkitkit, their teasing each other, but being there for each other whenever the other was in trouble. He had assumed she felt the same way as him.

But alas!

Ek Lamhe Mein Simat Aaya Hai Sadiyon Ka Safar

Zindagi Tez Bahut Tez Chali Ho Jaise

Like a journey of a lifetime is amassed in a moment

While life passed us by very fast

He still remembered that moment when he found her letter. Shocked was too tame a word to describe how he felt. He had somewhere become complacent about her place in his life and her leaving him had been a jolt out of the blue.

Along with shock had been a deluge of feelings he had been too bemused to decipher.

Happiness at having won???

Relief at having his old life back!!!

Confusion over her sudden decision...

Irritation at her stupid assumptions!!!!

Anger at what he felt was her betrayal of their Nikah and relationship!!!

And finally an unknown pain deep within his heart...

He should be feeling happy, his mind screamed. But are you feeling happy, his heart taunted.

All his instincts had screamed at him to go and get her back before it was too late. But before he could make up his mind, his mother had intervened.

She had tried to convince him that her leaving him was for the best for all involved. That Aaliya had never fitted in with their family. He had tried to refute that and argued with his mom, but then she had said something which made him quite.

Was Aaliya happy staying here with him or was she doing it under obligation? Had he ever done anything to make her happy or ever fulfilled his marriage vows to her? Had he ever given her the place a wife deserved to have? Did he love her?

"Nahi na...??" she had answered for him and he couldn't bring himself to lie to his mom.

"Tumhe nahi lagta Zain ke Aaliya ke liye bhi yahi behtar hai ke wo is adhoori zindagi me bandhne ke bajai kisi aise insaan ke saath apni zindagi baantein jo use wo sari khushiyaan de sake jiski use tamanna hai?"

She had hit him hard with his shortcomings and he had fumbled, not knowing what to do, unable to clear his mind of all that had happened and his mother's words bringing all his faults to the fore. Along with his mothers words came to him the memory of Aaliya describing her prince charming at Shawn's party and how far removed he was from that vision.

"Jab tum use wo sab nahi de sakte to jane do use... apne liye bhi aur uske liye bhi..."

She had left him then, her clever barbs hitting the mark and poisoning his rationale; leaving him numb and unable to follow his instincts which were telling him something different.

And that had been his biggest mistake.

Is Tarah Pehron Tujhe Sochta Rehta Hoon Main

Meri Har Saans Tere Naam Likhi Ho Jaise

Like this I think of you all the time

As if my every breath is for you

Later that night, while the world embraced the peaceful cloak of oblivion, he once again lay wide awake. Sleep refused to embrace him into its silky depths, leaving him to fight the demons of his lost self. He brought out each precious memory and scrutinized it to find some clue he might have missed. But the truth managed to elude him. Yet again!

This had become almost a ritual for him now. Every night he was left wondering whether she regretted going away from him. Whether she also felt these unnamed feelings which threatened to swallow him. Whether she was also searching for answers like him! Whether she was sleeping or lying awake like him, pining for something which they both had left behind as a broken dream.

He lay on the bed, staring at the empty walls of his room. He felt suffocated in his own room. Throwing away the blanket he got up, unable to stay in the room one more moment.

Feeling the sudden need for some fresh air, he went to the terrace, and stood there mindlessly letting the cool breeze calm him. But his inner turmoil just increased even as he gazed at the panorama before his eyes. The magical city of Mumbai was laid out before him in all its glory bathed in the twinkling pale blue moonlight. The thousands of twinkling lights giving testimony to the fact that the city never slept. It pulsed with a life of its own at all times. Be it day or night, Mumbai was always full of zeal and enthusiasm, bursting with life.

He looked up, at the indigo darkness of the sky, shining bright by the moon, bearing silent witness to all the happenings. The moon and moonlight have a strange relationship. But together they weave magic. Even normal mundane things look heavenly in their mystique magic. Be it someone's happiness or someone's tears, the moon silently watches all. Be it someone loving his beloved or aching for the same person, the moon was always there. The magic of the moon calmed his restlessness a bit. He looked at the moon and wondered whether she was looking at the same moon.

What have you done to me Aalya...he screamed in his mind, his hands gripping the railing till his knuckles turned white. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get her out of his mind. He couldn't get her out of his life.

She had come into his life, his house even his room unannounced and unwanted. She had turned it upside down much to his annoyance. But when head those irritating habits of hers become a part of his world? When had she ingrained herself so thoroughly into his life that she had become as essential as breathing?

When had she sneaked into his heart and made a place for herself?

Broken and torn, he leaned his back against the wall, hitting his head again and again, punishing himself for having let her go. For not believing in them, for letting someone else dictate the terms of their relationship. Had he not listened to his mom, maybe today he wouldn't' be here, drowning in hisblues.

Slowly he slid down the wall, and sat there gazing blankly. He didn't notice when a few tears escaped his eyes and left a trail on his cheeks. The pain he had confined within himself just burst out and became unendurable.

Love is a strange entity. Its mere presence can make you smile like a fool and dance with the world. But sometimes when it remains elusive, the arrows shooting through your soul can bring even a grown man to his knees. The sharp piercing pain just increases till we scream for mercy but still there is no remission.

The pain of loneliness bit into his insides causing him to sway further. It was as if a dam had burst within him, he let out all his insecurities and fears through his tears. The night had just begun and he already feared the solitude. At least during the day, he could lose himself in his work and pretend that his life was perfect. That it was whole.

But it was the nights which were the toughest to get through. He couldn't sleep, feeling the emptiness around him. His heartbeat searched for its partner, the musical melody they conjured together was what lulled him to sleep. His soul hungered for its mate to settle down in serenity.

The worst part, he didn't know whether what he was feeling was the truth or a fallacy of his brain. He didn't know whether she returned these feelings or was she happy in her life back in Bhopal and had written him off as a mistake. He didn't know whether she was wide awake and missing him, or asleep dreaming of that perfect prince charming which she used to dream of. The man she claimed he could never be.

The mere thought made a million needles pass through his already shattered soul. He could not, or rather would not picture her with anyone else. He would go insane. She was all that he had in this murky azure fog. He would be lost forever if he let go off of her now.

Unable to get rid of his vile thoughts, he got up and hurriedly dressed up, grabbing his car keys on the way. He spent the night driving around aimlessly, wanting the night to fade.

Finally he stopped his car in an alley and leaned his head on the wheel. Even though his mind was burning with pent up emotions, his body was near exhaustion. He dint have energy to move any further, his eyes closing on their own accord.

He lay there, for some time, unable to gather the strength to head home. It was nearly dawn and he had to get back home before he was missed. He knew his parents and everyone at home were worried about him. He dint want to add to their worries.

He was about to head home, when the sound of the azaan rang through loud and clear. Turning back, he saw a mosque just a few hundred yards away. The call of the muezzin touched a chord within him, soothing some of his restlessness.

He remembered her words, "Der saver sabko khuda ki rah pe chalna hi padhta hai."

Without thinking about it, he got out of the car and entered the mosque. Covering his head with a handkerchief, he headed to the taps to performwudu. He floundered for a moment, hesitant about the right way to perform it. It had been years since he had prayed. But the voice inside his head guided him and with a Bismillah, he started washing his hands and as if a hidden memory opened up, the rituals just flowed. It was something inbred, no matter how long you go without, you do not forget.

After finishing his ablutions, he headed inside the mosque to bow down in front of his Maker and ask for guidance.

Fifteen minutes later, the Zain Abdullah who emerged was a changed man. No longer were his eyes filled with sorrow or his face coloured blue with grief.

Instead his countenance shone with strength of purpose as he had found the answers to all his questions.

"Zain Abdullah aur Mamu ki Bhanji ki kahani adhoori nahi reh sakti...Is Nikah ki kahani ko mai pure karne aa raha hu..."

.

------------------

Jab likha hai maine tera naam kalam se, Indradhanush sa ban gaya.

Zindagi ke sab rang hai usme...Aisa koi rang nahi jo bach gaye.

Safed tere shaant mann ka,

Peela teri basant si muskurahat sa,

Haraa tere paak hone ka,

Bhura zameeniyat ka,

Hai sabhi rang tujhse jude hue, Aur do rang mere bhi hai usme

Kaala meri udaasi ka andhera, Aur neela mere jazbaato ki Be Intehaan gehraayi ka...

------

Pics n Avis are credited to the uploader.

Special thanks to Bindu for proofreading n adding a zing to this n Marium for helping me with the the shayari.

So??How was it??

Feel free to berate me😳

Plzz do press the like button and leave me a comment😃

Love Aash

My other work on Zaya

Blessings in Disguise

Laal Ishq