Arakshi fic "When there are no words" Pt 8 16/02 - Page 3

It is 11.00 PM.

Like the last six months, Arjun fights with himself, yet again. To go or not to go? That is the question he asks every day. But like a possessed person, someone who is under the influence of drugs, he finds himself knocking at her door. Again.

And like the last six months, she opens the door. Her expression unreadable, like it is every day.

Without any preamble, he pulls her to him, catching her lips. Today's day is particularly hard. It is his Roshni's birthday. And he needs to forget. Forget that her birthday exists, forget that she ever existed.

But something entirely unexpected happens today.

Unlike the last six months, Sakshi shoves him and stares at him with glazed eyes.

He is stumped. Both literally and figuratively.

But before she reads too much, he quickly puts his facade in place. After all, he cannot let her know that she affects him any manner. No way.

"We cannot continue this any longer, Arjun. I am leaving the city soon. I would appreciate if you leave me alone," she states matter of factly, staring at the distant wall and crossing her arms in the process.  

When he doesn't move, doesn't make a sound, she sweeps her right hand in front of him, signaling him to the door.

"Why?" he asks and for the first time, some emotion creeps into his voice. Hurt. Maybe, curiosity. She doesn't know.

"I have my own reasons." She calmly responds. She again stares at the wall. Her look is so intense that she feels the wall exploding under her gaze.  

"I want to know."

This time she meets his eyes, her patience seeping away, and remarks bitterly, "Told you. None of your business. And besides, I don't care what you want." With that, she walks further away from him, into the deep recesses of her flat.

Arjun hears shuffling of footsteps, scraping of metal and ruffling of clothes from the other room. His trained mind silently messages him that the aforementioned person is packing her bags. He wants to go. To say something. To stop her maybe. But his ego doesn't allow him to and so, he stays rooted at the same spot.

There is a part of him albeit a small one which says it's for real. She was indeed leaving. For real. But he refuses to accept it. Despite the fact that it didn't happen in the six months of their dysfunctional relationship, he refuses to believe it. She could not leave him. Never. Or maybe she could?

He straightens up, squares his shoulders as she enters the living room. He has a bad feeling about it. A really bad one.

"I want you to tell the others that I won't be coming to ETF anymore. Tell them there is some emergency. Or make something up. Okay?"

She is about to retrace her path but his voice stops her.

"Why should I do it? You don't care what I want. Why should I care what you want?"

She retorts, "Fine. Don't do it. I will see them tomorrow."

"Why are you doing it, Sakshi? Why? Are you getting married or something? That's why you don't want to stay? Is this some sort of punishment?" his voice cracks.

She almost feels like he actually cares. But she knows better. She knows that tomorrow he will be that same indifferent man that she knows.

However, he does deserve the reason why she is leaving. At least a proper explanation.

But before she can open her mouth, he speaks again. "You are in love with someone, isn't it? You love him and want to marry him and that's why this should stop, right? Fine then. You should go. Yeah."

He almost reaches the door, but before leaving, he sneaks a last glance and opens his mouth to say something but stops.

It takes a while for Sakshi to make sense but a second later, everything clicks in her brain and she jolts into action.

"What?!" she hollers.

Arjun freezes mid-step, turns around, studying her with shrewd eyes.

She walks up to where he is and shoves him. Hard. He almost topples with the force.

"You think I love someone? You think I am getting married? You think you know everything, ACP Arjun Suryakant Raute?! Breaking news! You are wrong. Absolutely wrong."

"Then why?" he asks her for the umpteenth time. He tries very hard to keep his mask firmly in place. He makes sure she doesn't see how it is killing him inside. Maybe she doesn't love anyone, maybe she is not marrying anyone. But she is leaving. She is purposefully hurting him. But he will not be hurt. No.

"Because I am pregnant, you heartless man. I am pregnant... with your child!"

A kind of eerie silence envelopes and engulfs both of them.

For Arjun, everything ceases to exist in that moment.  His every nerve ending is on fire, which is relentless. Ruthless. Consuming. His head spins and he staggers a little, resting his frame on the door for support. This is a dream, he chants. No, this is a nightmare! But one look in her solemn eyes and he knows it's true. It's bloody true!

"No! NO! Say you are lying Sakshi. Say it. This is.. impossible! We were careful. How.. why.." he finishes breathlessly.

Sakshi emits a hollow laughter devoid of any joy. And responds sarcastically, "Oh, yes, Arjun. It is a lie. And contraceptive methods are 100% efficient."

Arjun looks up at her then and she sees the man that she saw on the night Sikandar died. Broken, haunted, vulnerable.. So human.. So real..

"I- I.. should go. I don't feel.. I.. bye!" Turning abruptly, he walks away.

How dare he? How dare he walk on her like this?! She knows he doesn't care. But this? Not even anger. No, she can't tolerate this. She won't tolerate this.

"You- you- you, soulless monster. I hate you. And I hate myself!" She stomps her foot on the ground, much like a small kid throwing a tantrum, but he doesn't stop.

One step.. two steps.. three steps.. and he disappears.

As soon as he is gone, her vision blurs, she falls on the ground and lets the unshed tears flow. She sobs so hard that her body shakes with it. But he is not there to comfort her. No one is.

And she feels alone. 

So alone..

A/N: Well, that was depressing, isn't it? First of all, I would like to thank everyone who read, liked and/or commented. I was completely overwhelmed. I am not much of a writer, but I try. Hopefully, this part wasn't that bad. I know it's kinda short but an update is better than no update at all. Right? And all those people who wanna follow this story, kindly bookmark it. Cause I don't do PMs. It gets really confusing.. and exhausting. And I am a lazy ass!

Frankly, it was supposed to be one shot or two, but ideas cropped up and this fic will be longer than initially planned. The length of the updates though, is something which happens by itself. Like in this one, I felt it right to end it here, in order to capture Sakshi's anguish. Don't know if it was worth it.

Also, if you have questions, feel free. Criticism is accepted just don't be too harsh. I am really sentimental!

Well, this one is helluva long A/N. Sorry, I just wanted to make clear certain things like the character of Arakshi. You will feel they are quite dark and their relationship is angsty. It's just something which felt true to me. A pain as deep as Arjun's cannot be healed in short time. It is supposed to take much longer than that. But hey, that's what I feel!

Read, like and comment! Because more the comment, quicker the updates and longer too!

 

Next: Part 3

 

 

 

Arjun's hurt feeling and his walking away has its reasons but poor Sakshi...Hope he comes back to comfort her!